Title: Don't Let It Be Just Once More
Author: Celestial Seraphim
Warning: violence, mature themes, angst, failed attempts at humor, OOCness, etc.
Pairing: SesshomaruxKagome
Side Pairings: SangoxMiroku, InuyashaxKikyo
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters those go to their prospective owners but I'm currently in negotiations for a Sesshomaru plushie :
Summary: Misery loves company as the old adage states and no two people were more miserable than them. So was it fate that brought Kagome and Sesshomaru together is shared pain or mere whim of the great youkai? When she gets a peak at the Taiyoukai's face Kagome can't help the feelings that slowly begin to consume her even though at first she doesn't realize they're there but will it end in a happy ending?
Author's Note:
Don't let it be Just Once
Chapter 1
It was another battle between them and Naraku but this time was different. It was more dangerous and more frantic, so much more. They were on the Mount. Hakurei with Naraku's miasma below them, swirling around ominously. The others: Sango, Miroku, and Shippo were near the base of the mountain trying to fight their way up. It was just Kagome, Kikyo and Naraku near the top as they fought each other. Inuyasha was near them, fighting his way towards them through the hordes of demons. As both Miko's tried to fight Naraku, Kikyo also fought against Kagome who refused to shoot arrows at the undead Miko. Kikro had resorted to alternating her attacked between shooting arrows at Naraku and Kagome. Both Miko's could see the hald-demon was finding it amusing to watch them just as Kikyo screamed at Kagome angrily, "What right do you have to my soul?! Just because you are my supposed reincarnation?! Just for this reason you may have the other have of my soul while I am left to feed upon the souls of others?!"
Kagome barely dodged an arrow that Kikyo sent her way as she let her own arrow loose on Naraku, knocking it off its course a little. It sliced through one of his tentacles as one of Kikyo's arrows went straight through his chest. He was barely able to save himself as he created a barrier around his mostly destroyed but regenerating body. Just before he disappeared he sent a wave of his demonic insects towards the two Miko's just as Inuyasha reached them. Kagome let out a little yelp as she and Kikyo were sent stumbling backwards in shock but they soon realized why he'd done what he did when they took another stumbling step back. Their feet let the ground as they took one step over the cliff and they began to fall but they grabbed onto the ledge at the last possible moment, just barely saving themselves.
Kikyo and Kagome both had begun to breathe hard as they tried to hold on just as Inuyasha looked over the ledge with wide panicked eyes. When he saw them the look of relief passed over his face and sent a warm feeling through Kagome. "Inuyasha! Help me!"
Kagome saw the confliction in his eyes after Kikyo's cry and he looked between the two women causing Kagome's heart to stop with trepidation. "Inuyasha…"
Her voice was soft as all she uttered was his name in a soft whisper and they locked eyes. She could see how lost he felt because of his eyes but just as she began to open her mouth both of their hands slipped from the edge. Without hesitating, his eyes switched to Kikyo and his hand whipped out to grab her wrist. At that moment Kagome felt her heart shatter at the betrayal, her eyes not leaving the ledge as she said softly, "Inuyasha…How could you?"
The soft words were ripped away by the wind as she fell so she could get no reply. The next thing she knew Kagome's eyes closed as she plummeted towards the miasma and rocks below. She heard voices screaming her name before the agony came then there was nothing at all.
(One year earlier…)
March 21st, 9:10 pm
Inuyasha had left her to go see Kikyo when he had caught her scent. It had been just the two of them and he had bolted towards the scent, leaving her alone. There was no Shippo, no Sango and no Miroku to keep her company. She wandered the wooden area listlessly as she nursed her hurt. She let the tears fall as the pain enveloped her body while she walked. She walked until she reached a small river and fell to her knees, sobbing her heart out. Suddenly, something had moved and when she looked up Kagome's eyes met cold gold ones. She knew those eyes in an instant and squeaked in surprise, her pain forgotten for a moment. Kagome quickly wiped away the tears that had fallen from her eyes as she got up from her kneeling position by the river and took in the Taiyoukai. At her surprised squeak a delicate eyebrow arched in a disinterested manner as he watched her closely but she could see the strain it put on him. She had never seen the Taiyoukai so hurt, there was so much blood everywhere but mostly where he rested against a tree. Kagome felt heat rise to her face as she met his glaring gaze and she looked down at her feet feeling embarrassed at being caught crying by Sesshomaru of all people.
Glancing up again she bit her lip for a moment before taking a step towards him but his low warning growl made her stop. She noticed his eyes tinged pink for a moment but she gathered all her courage and said, "You're hurt…"
"This one has no need of your assistance, ningen." She would have flinched at his words if he hadn't looked half dead so she merely huffed in annoyance and took a closer step. A snarl began to push through his throat as she grew nearer until she scowled. "Hush! I am going to help you whether you like it or not. I refuse to leave you bleeding here."
His snarl got cut short at her sharp words but his glare didn't abate as she kneeled next to him and began to take everything she needed out of the bag she'd been carrying. She worked in silence for a time as he refused to look at her while low growls of displeasure escaped him. After a moment he spoke callously, "You are that hanyo's ningen, are you not?"
The question brought a flash of anger before a lance of pain went through her and caused her to draw blood as she bit down on her lip harshly. No…no she wasn't Inuyasha's human because all he saw was Kikyo. The thought brought a soft sob out as she shook her head at his question. "I am no one's human."
There was a bitter edge to her tone and she noticed that Sesshomaru seemed to study her all that much more closely. His eyes narrowed with a calculated gleam as he took in her trembling, fragile state. "Where is the fool Inuyasha?"
Kagome bit her lip a tad bit harder as her hands clenched, moving away from the Taiyoukai slightly as she stood. She wouldn't tell even though she was angry just in case the Taiyoukai tried to fight the hanyo. "You ningen are foolish. You do not have to say it, it is apparent from your emotions. He is with the Undead Miko."
Kagome closed her eyes and her knees buckled underneath her causing her to land on them in front of the Taiyoukai. The pain that assaulted her was numbing in its agony, the slow shattering of her heart was too much for her too bear. She was startled to feel a clawed hand take hold of her chin and steer her face to look into luminous gold eyes. He looked at her closely, his face expressionless before he asked, "Why stay with someone who refuses to see you?"
Kagome looked at him, stunned by the question that was laced with a slight undertone of curiosity. She looked into his cold eyes and saw something there that she couldn't quite read but found familiar. "I…"
She wanted to say 'I love him' but instead the words "I don't know" left her lips. Suddenly, without thinking she leaned into his touch and cried her heart out uncaringly. Vaguely, she was shocked when he didn't move away in disgust but neither did he try to comfort her. He merely let her cry as he turned his face away in distaste and when she finally stopped he quickly snatched his hand away, a low annoyed growl leaving his chest. She watched him and sensing her gaze he looked at her, locking gazes. They stayed looking at each other for a moment and suddenly she read the look deep within his eyes. Misery. He turned away from her and she realized she was being dismissed, deciding she pushed her luck enough she got up and began to move away. However, as she left alone for some odd reason she did not feel so alone.
(OoO)
March 25th, 6:45pm
When Kagome returned to the feudal era she was surprised to see Inuyasha was nowhere in sight. Giving the area around her a nervous look she looked around carefully to catch any sight of the hanyo as she called out, "Inuyasha? Inuyasha! Where are you?!"
She frowned, a small scowl marring her usually bubbly features as she tried to think of where her traveling companion could be. When a familiar presence brushed against her senses Kagome looked to the side and saw the disappearing glow of soul stealer. A familiar ache settled in Kagome's chest and she bit her lip to keep the disappointment and hurt at bay. She took a few steps towards Edo before stopping, her head turning towards the opposite direction she saw the soul stealers in. She looked hesitantly as she remembered Sesshomaru's bloody figure. The sight had never really left her during her short time at home and now back in this era she was tempted to go see him.
"He's my patient…it's only natural I want to go see how he is."
A small part of her brought back the image of the miserable look in his eyes and that small part called her a liar. She was using him as a distraction and curiosity tickled her senses about the look she'd seen for a split second in his guarded eyes. Steeling herself and hefting her heavy yellow pack behind her, she began to walk in the direction she'd last seen Sesshomaru resting. When she got near the small stream she stumbled slightly when his youki flared threateningly and her own reiki answered back soothingly. When she entered the small clearing she was surprised to see the blood that had been covering before was gone now yet he appeared to not have moved. He didn't bother looking at her, instead kept his eyes closed as he rested against a tree. She studied him for a moment before taking a few steps forward, she held back a grin when he shot her a warning look. Predatory eyes watching her closely as she walked closer still and a low growl made his upper lip curl to reveal fang. "Leave this Sesshomaru has no need of you."
She huffed in annoyance and her stride became longer until she was kneeling near him again. "You are my patient. You were injured graveling not long ago. Excuse me for being worried."
She missed the slow blink of surprise when she turned to dig in her pack, after looking over his wound. The Taiyoukai let out a low growl of annoyance but said nothing further, a small part of him reminded of Rin when he'd first taken her under his protection. The thought made him look more closely at the Miko in front of him as she gathered some food before realizing why she was doing such. He sneered at her and opened his mouth to rudely decline but she cut him off.
"It is rude to decline food made for you in good will…"
He flashed fang at her as he debated whether it was worth being rude and tarnishing his image or just bare it. If he'd been a lesser being he would have huffed but instead he merely took the food offered, sniffed and then took a single bite. A small part of him admitted it was decent for ningen food before he noticed her faraway look. He could smell her sorrow radiating off her and internally rolled his eyes. "Are all you ningen females like this?"
Kagome blinked at his brisk question before narrowing her eyes, she didn't like his tone in the least bit. "Excuse me?!"
His eyes narrowed dangerously at her tone and his voice was deadly quiet as he answered back, "You will address this Sesshomaru with respect. Watch you tone, ningen."
She froze for a split second as everything in her screamed that this was a predator she should be running from not holding a conversation with. She looked into his glowing gold eyes as the shadows fell over his face for a moment and then calmed her volatile emotions, she was lucking he had enough honor not to kill the person who'd assisted him. Even if it was against his will but he really could have just swatted her away, which made her wonder why hadn't he?
"Woman, my patience grows thin."
The young Miko bristled at his tone and said cuttingly, "It would help if his lordship made it clearer what he meant by his question."
She watched as he seemed to contemplate punishing her for once again not showing him the respect he felt he deserved but must have decided not as he asked, "Do all ningen females feel the need to go out of their way to assist others?"
He said the word 'assist' like it was a disgusting insect clinging to his clothing or a bad taste in his mouth. It made her lips twitch slightly but she curled her legs underneath her chin as she looked a little past him and spoke softly, "Some do…Some, like me, cannot stand by and watch another be hurt or die and do nothing. Others…more than I care to admit, prefer to turn a blind eye or be the reason for the pain. Then again isn't it like that for most creatures?"
She gave him a curious look and asked, "Are female youkai so different?"
Kagome noticed something flash through his gaze for a moment before he looked away and he said after a few moments, "Very few are willing to be that way…perhaps a handful at best. This one knows of only that many."
The young Miko watched him carefully for a moment wondering if she dared ask what made him look so…miserable. However, before she could he stood up and made his way past her. She watched him for a moment before she asked, "What made you ask, Sesshomaru-sama?"
He stilled and seemed to contemplate telling her before he said, "Rin…was also insistent upon helping this Sesshomaru when he was hurt after our first meeting."
She blinked before smiling warmly, she was aware after their few meetings how highly she thought of her Lord Sesshomaru. Giggling softly she said, "She loves her Sesshomaru-sama very much."
The Taiyoukai scoffed lightly but knew it was true, the girl rarely left his side and when he left hers she was always waiting with a smile. Her childish behavior and innocence had made it possible for him to tolerate her presence then before he knew it he grew to care for his ward much as a father would. It was a bit disheartening but he learned to live with it. Just as he was about to continue on Kagome called out to him softly. He stopped once more and barely held back a sigh, glancing back over his shoulder.
Kagome knew that was as much of an acknowledgement as she was going to get from this proud Inu youkai. "Will I see you again?"
She watched something flicker in his gaze and then he seemed to consider her before he said, "Perhaps."
Without another look back and without letting her speak again he was gone, leaving Kagome with the feeling something had shifted with this second meeting.
TBC…
