I wake up to the smell of bread in my kitchen, I wake up on the couch. I didn't have another dream about her.
"Hey! Look who's finally awake!" My mother shouts through the kitchen. She walks out of the kitchen holding my breakfast, two sunny-side up eggs. I sit down at the table and we eat in silence.
"Tobias, is there something wrong?"Evely- My Mom asks. I don't even glance at her.
"I just can't stop thinking about my dream last night." I said as I finished my food.
"Tobias you just need to let her go. She would've wanted you to move on." Mom sighed.
"THAT'S WHAT EVERYONE SAYS! BUT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HOW HARD IT IS!" I Screeched, as I rose up from my chair. My mom's face fell, guilt started to flow within me.
"I'm sorry, I just miss her." I sighed, as I sat back down. Her expression didn't even change.
"You know for a second there I thought I saw your father." She said blankly as she went to her room. Evelyn was right. I can't believe I'm turning into him. I need to get some air. I need to take a deep breath. I ran out of my apartment and bolted to the most abandoned place I could find. The Hancock building.
I haven't been inside the Hancock building since I spread Tris's ashes. It still looks the same big and empty. I feel like I can feel her presence here, I'm guessing she loved it here. I only wish I could have seen her in it. Sometimes I like to face my fear of heights, it makes me feel like Tris is still with me. I finally reach the top floor. I look down below me, I can barely see the ground and the people walking on the streets look like ants. I lean against the wall that's keeping me from plummeting to my death. I wish I can just escape and leave my life here. I could, if I jump I could die. I could be with Tris.
"I thought I might find you here." A voice snickers behind me. I turn around, oh it's just Christina. I turn back to the city. Up here it looks beautiful, like no damage has ever happened to it. Like nothing bad has ever happened.
"Are you thinking about Tris?" She asks as she leans against the wall beside me. She's so close that I can almost feel her heartbeat. I scoot away from her and her smile fades.
"I never stop thinking about Tris and I will never stop." I say defensively.
"Look, your not the only one who's in pain here. She was my best friend." She croaks, trying to hold back tears. I make a "I thought I was your best friend face" at her and she laughs. Our smiles fade seconds later, I find it harder to be happy these days.
"But you don't know what it's like... Losing someone you love." I sigh. She glares at me.
"Uh... hello? What about Will?" She scoffs. I can't believe I forgot about him, it feels like ages ago when I trained them. I can still remember the way Will looked into Christina's eyes and that was the year when Tris and I met. How could I forget that? I was even Jealous of Will getting to talk to her all the time.
"Sorry, I forgot about that." I laugh.
"It's ok" She shrugs. She truly is my last true friend. I always thought Zeke was but now he still feels so distant from me. I miss are old friendship.
"Do you still miss Will?" I ask. Her smile fades.
"Of course I do. He's apart of me I can never forget. I will always love him." She sighs.
"Apart of you? All of me loves Tris! I will always love her! I will love no one else!" I say.
"Tobias... you have to understand that you can't keep holding on to her. You have to let her go." She sighs as she takes my hand. I shake it away.
"I will never let go of her! She is apart of me!" I say, backing away from Christina.
"Tobias!" She groans.
"I can't... I can't let her go..." I cry.
"I know this is hard but it's for the best. She wouldn't want you to be a sad widow." She says as she steps towards me.
" First of all, Tris and I aren't married and I'm not a woman who has lost her husband!" I laugh.
"Come on! You know what I mean!" She groans.
"Fine." I sigh, finally looking at her.
"Good because Zeke and I are going to come back here later tonight. Wanna come?" She asks. I nod my head. I haven't seen Zeke since I spread Tris's ashes. She claps her hands in excitement and grabs my hand. We start bolting towards Zeke's apartment, he finally moved out of the city just a month ago. Last time I saw him it sounded like he pitied me because of the loss of Tris but now that's over... how is he going to act around me? As I run around the city, I feel a jolt in my skin everytime my feet hit the ground. I've never felt more alive. I haven't felt that way in a long time, the last time I felt this alive was when- well with Tris.
