Tony curses as he comes across yet another grocery store aisle devoid of the little trickster god.
It had just been his luck to be the only person in the tower with Loki. Everyone else had somehow gotten called away on various missions and yet there was nothing asking for his expertise. Even his fellow science brother was preoccupied elsewhere.
Pepper made it clear to him that while she did many things for him babysitting was not one of them. She had also somehow made it so that he couldn't dump the kid off in Happy's hands.
So here he was, alone with a reborn Loki, a growling stomach, an urge to make something himself, and an empty pantry. A trip to the grocery store appears in order, and leaving the miniature god by himself is not an option.
Loki was as reluctant to go with Tony as Tony was to take him. Upon seeing the selected convertible though, Loki rushes over and hops into the driver's seat.
"Ah! Ah! Ah!" says Tony in a panic as memories of the little mischief maker hotwiring a car enters his mind. He leans over the side of the car and grips the wheel. "Not for like another ten years and even then it wouldn't be in this baby. Or any of my other babies."
"Asgardians age differently from you mortals," points out Loki.
"Fine. Make it 30 years," replies Tony with a smirk before shaking his hand in a way that signals for him to move.
The kid legitimately pouts before crawling into the passenger seat.
"Hey! Watch the interior there, kid," warns Tony as he watches Loki scramble all over the place when he knows the little runt could simply hop over.
Loki pointedly ignores him as he crouches on top of the seat and drags his feet over the seat until they touch the floor. He smiles innocently in the face of Tony's involuntary eye twitch.
The billionaire grips his keys tightly before pulling Loki's seatbelt all the way, buckling it in, and smiling in satisfaction at the way Loki chokes a little when he pushes against it. "Buckle up for safety," he says as he ruffles Loki's hair.
The kid glares at him but that look vanishes as soon as they hit the road. Tony's need for speed and giving his cars proper time out are things Loki seems to enjoy, and he seems more disappointed when they finally get to their destination.
A lot of things continue to capture the little guy's attention. He keeps going on about the automatic sliding doors that are much more convenient than the hulking thins in Asgard that serve more for decoration than convenience. The sprinkling system for the vegetables also delights him though he says the water is no match for the sustenance his own brother could provide for the plants.
All of his excitement makes Tony want to shove him into a shopping cart so that he'll hold still. In fact, he wishes he had because it seems as if the kid vanishes the second Tony turns his back on him (something that's instinctually hard for him to do). Cue Tony's current predicament as he searches for Loki in fear of what Thor and his hammer will do to him.
He finally finds Loki in the aisle that never fails to trap most children as well as some adults: the junk food section. Loki stares at the assorted brightly colored packages with a dazed expression. This expression quickly wipes away as Tony ruffles his hair in place of boxing his ears.
"There you are! Nearly gave me heart attack. Don't run off like that, okay?"
Loki tries to smooth down his wayward hair while giving Tony an irritated expression. Then he goes back to staring at the junk food.
"No! No, no , no, no, and no!" declares Tony as he metaphorically puts his foot down. "Your brother's bad enough when he gets a healthy dose of sugar into him. I don't need the both of you with your weird metabolisms tearing up the place."
A sigh of admiration catches Tony's ear, and he turns around to find a woman behind him. She has a hand over her heart, and despite the baggy sweatshirt she's wearing, he can tell that she's got quite the body.
She sees him looking at her and immediately starts blushing. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but overhear, and I think it's just great when a father takes initiative with his kids. Your wife must be so grateful."
Loki's nose wrinkles at the implication. "He's not my-MMMH!"
Tony immediately claps a hand over Loki's mouth and holds the little guy close to stop his wriggling. "Married. I'm not married," he smoothly explains. "I'm afraid it's just me and the little guy right here."
"What about your other son?"
"Excuse me?"
Her face takes on the neutral face of politeness. "I-I thought I heard you mention a brother?"
Tony's face widens in remembrance. "Oh! Him. Yeah, the big guy's at summer camp right now probably lighting up a storm." He chuckles at his own joke, and she laughs along as well. "But enough about me. Why don't you tell me more about yourself?"
After Tony's gotten her number, and she walks away, he ruffles the kid's hair again. "Good job. You actually came in handy."
"What is your obsession with mussing up my hair?" snaps Loki as he swats Tony's hand away.
Tony rolls his eyes before grabbing a packet of cookies and tossing them to Loki. "Here you go. You earned it."
Loki's eyes light up before narrowing suspiciously. "Must I always masquerade as your progeny in order to obtain sweets?"
Tony genuinely laughs at that. "No. Just this once." He grabs another three packets for the heck of it and dumps them into Loki's awaiting arms. "You get these for being perceptive," he explains as he places a hand on the god's shoulder and leads him towards the shopping carts. "Now let's get what we came here for and then we can take the long way home."
The promise has Loki skipping off towards a shopping cart and wheeling around on it like a maniac. Tony can't help the grin that creeps on his face as he goes to calm the kid down. He really isn't so bad. Too curious for his own good, but not so different from your average Earth kid. This observation gets confirmed upon Loki's look of disdain when they go back to the produce aisle, and Tony starts loading up on the green stuff.
"Not even the threat of Ragnarok could get me to eat those," says the kid.
Yep, thinks Tony to himself. Not so different after all.
