I walk into the room with hot dogs, strolling back to where Loki is still duct-taped to a chair.
"IM BACK EVERYBODYYY! First, let me just say that this fic has gotten an AWESOME response. I checked the fic like twenty minutes after I posted and I was like, 'OHMAHGERSH THERES REVIEWS'! So thank you all for being AWESOME!"
Loki tries his third attempt at speech. "MGRFPHFLL!"
"Yeah Loki, we all know that you're awesome too, but don't hog all the attention! You need to seriously see someone about this. I mean, taking your bro's throne and trying to kill him, isn't exactly gonna make your dad love yah. AND THEN YOU TRY AND RUIN MY FIC! You need help bro."
Loki sits in silence, glaring at me.
"Weeelll, let's get started, shall we? YES. WE SHALL."
I pull out envelopes with the reviews inside, because envelopes make everything cooler.
I clear my throat "And the first review is…"
Ivy Cullen: Does Loki watch any movies he's in?
I turn to Loki "Well, Loki, do you?"
Loki tries yet again to yell "MRPHGRGFFLLBFFF"
"Oh yeah, sorry about that, y'know, silence is golden but duct tape is silver! HAHAHA!" I rip off the duct tape gag.
Loki screams "OWWWW!"
"Oh, shut up Loki, answer the question already!"
He sits in silence, but slowly starts to grin.
"Uhh, Loki, stop it, you're freaking me out with that maniacal smile. ANSWER THE QUESTION!"
Loki speaks slowly "Ehehe…This Ivy Cullen wants to know whether I watch my own movies?"
"YES"
Loki smiles, talking in slow, careful syllables. "She may be correct in wondering whether or not I see the transcending boundaries between our world and yours. It is, in truth, a strange question. Did she not see me take Hall H? I transcended the worlds, out of my movies. And this 'Tom Hiddleston' some of you speak of…I merely use him…ehehehe…"
"Well…that wasn't creepy at all… heh…NEXT QUESTION!"
Guest: Loki, my question is have you ever used your horns to roast hot dogs? Cause if I had those portable skewers with me all the time I'd be in shishkabob heaven every time I got near an open flame, so tell the truth, have you at least roasted marshmallows on them?
"And that is why I brought these," I dramatically hold out the plate of hot dogs. "MWAHAHA!"
Loki looks shocked "THAT PERSON SAID WHAT!?"
"No, actually, they didn't say what. The person did, however, ask you a question. ANSWER IT!"
Loki answers in a rage "What kind of a question is that!? To think that I would use my golden, ornate, beautiful horns to, to, to ROAST STUFF! It is unimaginable!"
I pull out Loki's horned helmet.
"What's this then?" I point to clearly evident marshmallow stains.
"THAT IS NOTHING! GIVE IT BACK TO ME!" Loki tries to get his helmet back by wiggling frantically in his chair.
"Well…If you say you haven't, we could at least try some hotdogs. After all, your helmet looks like it needs a greasing." I hold the hotdog closer to the helmet.
Loki looks shaken and embarrassed "NOOOOOO!"
"Admit it."
Loki screams "NO!"
"ADMIT IT!"
Loki droops his head "Fine. I have used them at bonfires once or twice."
"FINALLY!" I pull back and munch on the hotdog. "NEXT!"
Chloe bird-kid of all gods: Ask him what he would do If Thor joined him and the Avengers into a band.
I jump up, grinning "OHMAHGERSH THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!"
Loki looks obstinate "NO IT IS NOT."
"Why not, Loki, yah scared? Im sure you'd make a great singer!"
Loki relents a little "Well…I may have some talent, but-"
"SING A SONG SING A SONG!"
Loki protests "No!"
"DO IT DO IT DO IT!"
Loki fights back "No! I am answering the question!"
"SIIINNNNGGGGG!"
Loki sighs "Fine. AFTER I answer the question."
"Fiinnee."
Loki sighs and looks away from me at the imaginary camera in front of us "I would NEVER join a band with my brother, or any of that infernal team you call 'The Avengers' THEY TRIED TO KILL ME! THEY TRIED TO STOP ME FROM TAKING EARTH! ASK YOURSELF! WOULD YOU NOT HAVE BEEN HAPPIER IF I HAD!?"
"Well…now that I think about it…"
Loki continues vehemently "SO I WOULD SABOTAGE THOR AND THE OTHERS' ATTEMPTS TO BRING US INTO A BAND AND IN THE END, I WOULD DESTROY THEM. Though that Skillet Band, they're not that bad. I could join them, maybe."
"Wow, Loki. Just wow." I shake my head slowly.
Loki sits back "I have stated my case."
"AND NOW YOU MUST SING FOR US!"
I hurry away and bring my laptop and pull up video of Skillet's Monster.
"SING THIS!"
Loki pantomimes singing it, with eyes closed and mouth wide. Fangirls everywhere die.
"NEXT QUESTION"
Angiehero: Loki, do you think you'll have a love interest one day or do you think love will only get in the way of your master plan to rule Asgard and such? :)
Loki turns red, clearly unsure how to answer such a question.
"Well, Loki, answer the question!"
Loki looks up "Did I ever say my master plan was to rule Asgard?"
"Well, attempting it several times throughout different movies kinda makes it obvious…"
Loki shrugs "Love. What a sentimental, primitive emotion you mortals feel. I am devoid of it. The Jotun do not know love. As for Asgard, I've already got that under control."
"Awww, Loki, don't feel that way! Of course you can feel love!"
Loki turns to glare at me "Even if I could I wouldn't. Take that!" He seems lost in thought and pulls out a picture of something, or someone.
I reach over and try to steal the picture but Loki vanishes it.
Loki laughs "Too slow."
"HE MUST HAVE A SPECIAL SOMEBODY!"
Loki glares at me again "Grrr"
"NEXT QUESTION"
Guest: Ask him about Sif. That "you look ravishing" comment. That smirk and the "it's nice to see you too Sif". And those stolen/sideways glances in the first film. It can't just all be in my head.
Ask him about his "I like her" comment after being slapped.
Ask him about his plans. What the hey happened to Odin, because I refuse to believe that Loki killed him.
Ask him about the upcoming movies. I hear he'll have an appearance in Age of Ultron. Tell him I can't wait for Rangork and Infinity Wars. Heck, tell him I love him.
And for kicks, as him about Norse mythology.
About Hela, Sleipnir, Fenrir, Ullr, Jormungand.
"Well, Loki, looks like you got your hands full here."
Loki turns beet red again.
"ANSWER HER QUESTIONS!"
"What do you want to know about Sif?" he asks
"They want to know if you liiike her."
Loki grins "I certainly like annoying her, if that's what you mean."
"Aww, come on, give us more than that!"
Loki sits in stubborn silence.
"Well, anyways, what about Jane? That, 'I like her?'"
Loki laughs mockingly at that "I was merely taking advantage of the situation so I could steal yet another scene. Do you mortals know nothing?"
"But do you like her?"
Loki yet again turns red, looking down "I am certainly a little fond of the mortal. That's all."
"Awwww. So what happened to Odin!?"
Loki shrugs "I didn't kill him, if that's what you want to know."
"Well, okay. And the upcoming movies. What about those?"
Loki smiles again, evil pleasure glowing on his pale face."I certainly anticipate the chance to steal more screen time. I also relish the chance to wreak havoc and destroy things."
"And you say you're not like Thor."
Loki waves that away, moving on "Do mortals always fall in love with fictional movie characters?"
"Well, not everyone, but apparently the one that asked the question…"
Loki nods "Ok then. I'll keep that in mind."
"Also, I have to tell you about Norse mythology now. Did you know that you have over five children, most of them being monsters or animals?"
Loki is shocked "I don't have any children!"
"In the myths, you actually have a giant wolf, an eight-legged horse, and a giant snake among your kids. I'm telling you, no matter what universe you are in your family is messed up."
Loki looks perplexed and a little conflicted. "Evidently…" he says.
"WELL, That's all the time we have for today folks! I will be watching for more questions that we can torture Loki with, and soon, the interrogating will start again! MWAHAHA!"
