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As soon as the door clicked closed behind them Harry heard the low mutterings inside. He couldn't help but scowl. Didn't Hermione understand this was why he hadn't wanted to tell anyone? Now they'd all be talking about him – trying to get her and Ron to tell them what was going on. He wouldn't put it past Fred and George to get the extendable ears out.
With this thought in his mind, he climbed the stairs and went into his and Ron's room with Sirius and Lupin on his tail. Harry sat on his bed and Lupin sat on Ron's. Sirius, however, closed the door behind him and leant against it, tapping his foot against the floor. Harry stared at it for a moment.
"Look." He began. "This really isn't as bad as it looks-" But he stopped when he saw Sirius' expression.
"'Not as bad as it looks?'" He yelled. "Tell me how it looks to you then Harry, because we must be seeing something different. To me it looks like someone has carved into the back of your hand!"
Harry looked down at his knees and searched his mind to find something to say that could make the situation better. How could he explain to Sirius that it wasn't that someone actually wanted to hurt him – it was just a test of wills. Umbridge wanted to break him, but he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. As soon as he complained he knew she would have won.
Harry heard the sheets on the other bed rustling and he looked to Lupin. He was looking at Harry with a thoughtful look on his face.
"Harry, you know using the blood quill on people underage is illegal, right?"
So Umbridge was breaking the law? It shouldn't surprise him really, but Harry found it hard to believe that she was so bold to break the law right under Dumbledore's nose. Was it bad enough of an offence to go to Askaban for, or was it just fine-worthy? Either way, it would probably be enough to get her fired. He'd opened his mouth to voice his questions when Lupin spoke again.
"If a student is forcing you to use one, Harry, you need to tell Professor McGonagall - if not for yourself for others. Do you know if anyone else is using it?"
Ah, this could get a little tricky. "Um, it's not exactly..." He stopped, glanced nervously at Sirius, then took a breath and blurted it out. "It's not a student who's forcing me to." His godfather was staring at him, anger morphing to confusion.
"If it's not a student, who is it then? Someone in Hogsmeade?" When Harry didn't answer right away Sirius sighed moved away from the door to sit on Harry' other side. "Harry, please. If someone's hurting you I needto know."
Sirius' eyes were staring pleadingly into his own. Harry sighed.
"Listen, Sirius. Before I tell you this, I want you to promise to me that you won't do anything stupid." Harry said. Sirius' brows drew together for a moment, but after a look from Lupin, he agreed. "In my detentions, Umbridge has made me write lines with - with this black quill that writes in blood and... well." He gestured to his hand. There were a few seconds of shocked silence.
"Umbridge!?" The voice had come from a direction Harry hadn't expected, and he turned to see Lupin with a look of mingled fury and horror on his face. Harry remembered that it was Umbridge that had made it practically impossible for him to get a job. Sirius growled (sounding rather like his dog counterpart) and started pacing the room.
Harry watched them worriedly for a few seconds before speaking. "Look, I know it sounds bad, but we can't do anything to stop it! Not without-"
"Can't do anything?" Lupin interrupted. "Why ever not, Harry? What she's doing is torture!"
Harry could feel anger rising in him and raised his voice. "What she's doing is testing me! Making me feel weak to see if I'll snap, but I won't."
He clenched his fists. Lupin didn't understand - it wasn't just Umbridge trying to show him who's boss, it was about Harry showing that she couldn't bother him. What good would it do to whine to the teachers? Giving in would imply that the words on his hand had a good reason to be there - that she was right in her assumptions. He felt the hot feeling of hate wash through him and his scar stung again.
"Besides, you've promised that you wouldn't do anything." He said, sensing that they were about to argue with him.
Sirius stopped pacing and stared, his expression one of appalled disbelief, as if Harry was the one being unreasonable.
"No Harry, I promised I wouldn't do anything stupid, and what I'm thinking of isn't a stupid thing to do at all. " He grinned slightly in what seemed like realisation. "Anyway, I might have promised you, but you said nothing to do with Remus promising you."
Harry turned to Lupin in shock and saw him getting to his feet.
"Wait. Where are you going?" Harry said, leaping up and catching hold of his wrist.
Sirius snorted. "Where do you think he's going? Up to Hogwarts to get some serious dueling action with Umbridge!"
"Lupin, you can't, you don't understand." His frustration was rising.
"Harry, I'm not going to duel your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher." He was smiling slightly, which made Harry even more angry. "I'm just going to speak to Dumbledore."
Harry couldn't help but laugh bitterly. He let go of Lupin's wrist and sat back down on his bed. "Like Dumbledore would care."
He was shot a sharp, slightly reproachful look from Lupin. "Harry-"
"What? I've been trying to talk to him since the beginning of the year and all he's done is ignore me and run away." He knew he sounded like a spoilt child, but he could find it in himself to care. The only thing he was worried about at the moment was making sure Umbridge didn't find out he'd told people - he didn't want to lose.
He could feel the last few nights of little sleep catching up with him and he rested his head in his hands, eyes closed. How could he explain it to Sirius and Lupin if he barely understood it? All he knew was that if Umbridge won, he wouldn't have the strength to fight her anymore, and if he wasn't standing up to her what else could he do? He'd practically given up hope that people would start believing him about Voldemort. He heard Lupin move towards the door again and looked through his fringe at them, but they weren't making a move to leave.
"Sirius, why don't you go back downstairs and explain to the others that Harry's fine, and just wants some peace and quiet." Lupin said carefully and got a sharp look in reply.
"He's my godson! You think I'm just going to leave this alone?" He hissed.
"Of course not, I just think that maybe the others might need to know that nothing serious is going on." Lupin gave Sirius a long look that Harry couldn't decipher. Sirius scowled slightly, then glanced at Harry with an emotion he didn't entirely understand (but made him feel comforted none the less) and left the room.
Lupin leant back against the door and was studying Harry thoughtfully. Harry gritted his teeth. "Harry, Dumbledore cares for you. If he really is ignoring you then I'm sure he has his reasons." He spoke gently, as if he could sense how tired Harry had suddenly become.
"I don't want to tell him." Harry insisted.
Lupin sighed and came to sit next to him.
"How about Professor McGonagall then?" He sounded defeated and Harry raised his head. He was once again struck by how tired and old Lupin looked.
"I've considered that," (well, Hermione and Ron had anyway) "but I don't think that's possible. Do you really think Umbridge will stand for McGonagall being able to discipline her? She's "High Inquisitor" remember?" He wouldn't have told her anyway, but he didn't feel the need to tell Lupin this. He couldn't bring himself to make him look even more concerned for him.
He could see in Lupin's face that he knew this was true. "Be that as it may, she would want to know. I want you to promise me that if it happens again you will tell her."
Harry didn't know what to say, so feeling guilty for lying, he nodded. He could already hear Snape's sneering voice. Pity Seeker. Lupin looked relieved as he gave Harry a sad smile.
"Why don't you stay up here for a while. I'll tell the others that you're just tired." He said, and moved towards the door.
Harry lay down and closed his eyes, grateful for the excuse to put off the questions of the others, not seeing the Lupin's worried face as he closed the door behind him.
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