ACT II- The reason why smoking is NEVER a good idea

Allen: Yay! We're lost in the middle of South America with NO IDEA of where we are!

Lenalee: I…I see a light…

Lavi: Gah! Get her away from Kanda! She's gonna get lung cancer!

Kanda: It's a fake cigarette. They were selling them at the airport along with fake guns and bombs. *shifty eyes*

Lavi: …You're the worst liar I have ever seen.

Lenalee: If I want to be a rebel, I bring a container with MORE than 3 oz. of liquid!

Allen: …yeah so anyway, how're we supposed to find this super-blue-eyed-Mary-Sue-chick?

Lavi: We'll split up. Allen, you interview blue eyed little girls wearing only one glove and have a creepy smile on your face. Kanda, pick a woman and follow until you die. Lenalee…er…distract yourself. I'll go to that bar over there and talk to blue eyed women with large busts.

Lenalee: No comprende senior.

???: Hey are you guys looking for a blue eyed girl?

Allen: Why yes! Yes we are!

???: My name's Tsume. I have supernatural powers and can make massage chairs appear. I also have a mental breakdown about once a chapter.

Kanda: That's our woman! Come with us and be gang raped.

Tsume: Er…shouldn't it be 'or be gang raped'?

Kanda: …Nooo…You have no choice. Oops! My cigarette!

*3/4 of the Amazon Forest bursts into flames. Everyone stares at the destruction, stunned*

Kanda: ….well Cross.