Rouge found herself beside the road, walking, looking for a place to stop. She knew she should go back to the mansion, but she could bring herself to face the pitying looks and whispered comments.
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far
Her wounded pride couldn't take the abuse and her broken heart wasn't sure that it could be that close to where she'd been with him. She needed to as far away from him and everything that reminded her of the days in his arms. She felt as though she were walking through water, like every movement was weighted and in slow motion. Barely to draw breath in past the sharp pain her chest, still she walked on. She found herself at the train station.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
She scrounged together all of the money she had in her pockets and thanked god that she'd pocketed her credit card earlier that day and had forgotten to take it out of her pocket. It didn't matter where the train was going as long as it was away from Bayville and away from the south. It was midnight before they were underway. The night whipped by them, taking with it small desolate towns, large cities, and vast expanses of nothing. She found herself contemplating…wondering if she would ever be able to open her heart up again. She knew the answer…Remy had cut her heart open with a surgeons precision. The space he left in her heart was permanent; no amount of reconstruction or careful contemplation would heal her. Three days rolled past and she sat, not moving as the train paused. Passengers came and went, the Conductor came to see her after every stop checking to see if she was okay, but no response came from her.
When at last the rolled into their destination she moved with slow calculated grace. Her face held a light smile, but it wasn't real…it was a thin façade to sooth her aching heart.
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
They called Montana the Big Sky state, now she could see why. It was open. Nothing hindered her view of that breathy spacious blue. It was faded like a pair of over loved blue jeans, and dotted with white tufts of clouds. She looked down at her wrinkled stinking clothes and felt disgust roll over her in waves. She entered the first store she could find and discarded the clothes in favor of something a little plainer. The result was a long sleeve button down cotton shirt and a pair of stiff dark blue jeans.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
She wasn't sure how things had worked out the way they had, but it wasn't long before she had found herself a small house to rent. Outside of town, in center of large field that was bordered on three sides by dense woods. The real estate woman, whose name escaped her at the moment, had promised to come by and see her in the morning so she could get supplies and things. Strange, how when she'd given up hope and given in to desperation, hope found her again. She drew the cool air into her lungs and felt it ease the burning knot of her heart.
I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
She felt the openness wrap its arms around her and pull her into an embrace. This place where man was dwarfed by God's work, this place where she was just another girl from out of state, this was where would wash away Rouge, as surely as she washed away her Goth make-up. Rouge had died, died back in Bayville where her heart had been ripped out.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
She was now Marie. Scared and quiet Marie. The girl that Rouge had locked away deep inside of her, like a stolen psyche. Marie didn't love, she didn't cry. Marie was happy and laughed freely…only when got home at night and cried herself to sleep in an empty bed would she know that Marie was just same as Rouge…a fake…
Because of you
Because of you
