Hey guys! I'M NOT DEAD8D I am so sorry for not updating for soooo long; I had a shortage of letters and brainpower, and combined with laziness-cum-extreme procrastination, it took me ages to get this done. The actual writing process didn't take that long, but I kept rewriting and rewriting...bleh.


This space shall be left for the usual disclaimers: PH belongs to Mochizuki Jun, and this fic is a spinoff of
Dear 59 kun by mangarox14. Check it out if you're a KHR fan!


And this space will be left for all the thanking:

Reviewers: MirrorDede, Kinoko182, Katy Starcatcher

Alerts/Faves: xXPureMadnessXx, MirrorDede, KyoxSakiFan, Adoxography, Kinoko182, Kimi-chan76

Special thanks to Katy Starcatcher for her awesome letter^-^


Dear Hatter san

Nightmares, Idolism and Sugar


Break sighed as he seated himself in front of his mahogany desk after a long and frustrating day in Pandora Headquarters…thanks to the idiot who had messed up a portion of the archives and had left him to do it.

Break and paperwork did NOT go well together.

Brushing a portion of his white bangs over his forehead, he blinked, eye darting towards the envelope holder he had gotten specifically for his own purposes.

Mainly his advice column…but he wouldn't go around announcing that, would he?

He was actually rather happy when he noticed quite a large pile of letters waiting to be opened. In your face, ojou-sama! He yelled inwardly as he picked them up to read.

The first came in a frilly pink envelope, which he ripped apart graciously. Leaving it in shreds on his left, he unfolded the pink letter that it had come with.

Dear Hatter-sama,

I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. HEHEHEHE. I'M YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE AND IMMA EAT YOUR BRAINS OUT.

I lied. I'm a creepy fangirl who wants to kidnap you to my house and, uh, yeah; that's the plan for now.

Soooo, can I do that?

Love, MUACKSXOXO

He stared at it for a while. What the HELL was this person's problem-oh wait. A fangirl. Go figure.

Resisting the temptation to rip the letter to shreds too, he reached out for his pen to scribble a reply.

Dear MUACKS (no, PLEASE),

That's very nice, but I'll have to say DOWNRIGHT HELL NO, YOU CREEPY STALKER. Go stalk someone else…like VINCENT NIGHTRAY or something. Oh yes. Kidnap him and do whatever you want with him. Send me photos.

Or you could go kidnap Vincent's brother. He's really fun to bully. I'm hoping you have cats in your house:)

From Hatter-san

And he promptly threw the letter and shredded bits of envelope into the fire.

Dear Hatter-san,

I'm a sugar addict, and I can't stop eating sugarish food. What do you think? Should I stop?

Love, Curiosity

Oh finally, a letter that actually made SENSE.

Dear Curiosity didn't kill the cat; scissors did,

I would like to applaud you for being a sugar addict. Join the club; I'm president.

Sugar is good for you. Anyone that tells you to quit eating sugary food is an ass. A real big ass.

Now, care to join me for a cup of tea? With cake and sugar biscuits?

Love, Hatter-san

With a small smile on his face, Break picked up the third letter and snorted. He knew this guy.

Dear Hatter-san,

I have a fear of cats. I've had a fear of cats since goodness knows when, and I don't know how to get rid of it! This phobia makes me useless! I can't protect my friends properly because I either freeze when I see cats or I AAAAHHHHHH WAIT I NEED TO FINISH THIS LETTER QUICKLY THERE'S A CAT IN MY ROOM NO GO AWAY GO AWAY AAAAHHHH-

The letter ended with a few scratches and three lines of incomprehensible scribbling. Break shook his head in exasperation as he began writing.

"My god, you are such an idiot."

Dear Fantastic Cat-Lover,

Before I actually give you 'advice', allow me to laugh at you. Scratch that. I'll just laugh at you now. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA.

There.

I'm not sure what you can do to get rid of your phobia, but it's fine anyway. Either way you're still as useless, no? Maybe you should interact with cats more often to get rid of your fear. How about I get you one for your birthday or something? How about a tiger?

From Hatter-san.

Dear Hatter-san,

There's this girl I see in school every single day, and she plays the piano perfectly. I want to confess to her, but I'm an ugly person and she'd probably slap me if I tried. What should I do?

From Troubled

Break pouted.

Dear Troubled,

Just confess. Geez, don't NOT confess and regret it eons later! If she rejects you, MOVE ON. That ain't all to life.

Let's see…if you're ugly, make it up with…flowers:D

Love, Hatter-san

Dear Hatter-kun,

I think a bunch of aliens came and stole my dog, 'cause when I woke up it was missing. What do you think?

From EHMAGAWD

Dear DO YOU SEE MY WTF FACE,

Sure they did. Go chase after them with your magical flying carpet.

From Hatter-san

Dear Hatter-san,

There's this guy I always see around the streets accompanying a blonde boy and a dark-haired girl. He has the most gorgeous raven hair and THE most beautiful golden eyes ever, and I really think he's hot. Oh, and he smokes. Which is badass awesome. Should I approach him?

Love, Radar-Luna

Dear Radar-is-haywire,

You know what, I JUST might know that guy, and let me tell you something.

HE'S A NINJA.

Oh, and smoking isn't good for you. Really. Don't try it, alright~

Love, Hatter-san

Break stifled a yawn as he reached out for the last letter in the pile he had grabbed.

Dear Hatter-sama,

I think red eyes are creepy. My classmate has red eyes and she scares the shit out of me every morning 'cause she has long black hair AND a pale complexion. No, she isn't a ghost, she just looks like one…but it freaks me out anyway. Sooooo…what are your opinions?

Love, I have blue eyes and I like them

Dear Blue-eyes,

I take offence at that first lineD Although admittedly, I'd prefer another eye color. Your classmate sounds freakier than me, and that's freaky! As long as she doesn't attempt to murder you or something, you're safe. Have fun in school~

Love, Hatter-san

Feeling accomplished, Break stretched back and stood up from his chair, smiling contentedly at the pile of letters he had replied that evening. Hey, he'd actually bothered to give them proper advice, and that totally deserved a sweet. Unwrapping a strawberry lollipop, he plopped himself down on his bed and sucked on it, allowing the pure sugary sweetness to overtake his senses for a brief, almost euphoric moment.

Goddamn, he was a total sugar addict…and loving it.


Remember to send in your letters! This fic can't survive without them^-^