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This chapter is a little depressing, but I promise the next one things start looking up! Just to clarify things, this isn't a Last Sacrifice story, it's a post-Last Sacrifice one actually.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the plot, Cahil and Emel!
2
Surprise, surprise, I had a brother. A Moroi brother. Abe never ceased to amaze me. His name was Cahil, he was eight years older than me and he was a result from my father's previous marriage (which I learnt had ended when dad met a certain guardian named Janine. Good thing he did; otherwise, I wouldn't be here). His mother had given up on him, or so I had been told. Cahil was the nicest person on Earth (which could be quite irritating at times) despite his snarky comebacks, but I learnt to love him, nonetheless. He was also the next mobster-in-line and I couldn't think of something more mismatching to his kind character than this.
We all lived together in our father's property located just outside of Istanbul. It consisted of the main house, a nice three-story building with six bedrooms (therefore, plenty of space for us to live without trying to kill another being in sight) and the surrounding fields. Those were crisscrossed by a river and its many vessels forming a delta towards the sea. It was beautiful and the perfect landscape for me to ease my heartache.
I tried to hide it, but I was in pain. I missed my life. I missed my old me. Here there was no Lissa, no Dimitri, no Adrian. There wasn't even a Christian or Eddie. To my great surprise, there was Mikhail. He'd been aware of Abe's crazy plans from the very beginning and had deliberately helped me keep my sane state of mind when in jail. Mikhail came to me with news of all sorts from Court – who had married, who had broken up and so on. Also, he would tell me about the laws being voted, the splits in the Council and every other political shit that was happening. This and my constant visits to Lissa's head helped me keep the pain at a non-excruciating level, but scarcely. Until what I saw was too much and I decided I had to close the bond permanently.
She was a wreck after my execution. No one let her be there and no one let her see my body. She wasn't even allowed to see my ashes. Lissa thought she was doomed to insanity without me and started spiraling down into a great depression. It broke my heart to see her like this, but my parents had expressly forbidden me to contact any of my friends, at least until the real murderer of the queen was captured and, my name, cleaned.
"Oh, Christian, it should have been me in her place. She was so good and I'm useless without her."
"Shhh, love. Don't say that. You know Rosie wouldn't want you to be like that."
Nice, now he had nicknames after my dead body's back.
"They should have blamed me. She didn't deserve that. And now... I'm going to go mad."
"Lissa, don't. That's never going to happen. I'm here, you have me. I'll never leave your side."
I was still pissed at Pyro, but he had my best friend in his arms while she sobbed for my lost life, so I supposed I should give him some credit. And he was suffering too. He was trying to be strong for Lissa, but the pain was there in every line of his face.
"Dimitri's not going to make it", she said after a while.
Silence from Pyro. That got me a little worried.
"He will. I don't think he'll ever be the same or is ever going to forgive himself, but he's a tough man. He's been through so much and he knows he's here because of Rose. He won't dishonor her memories, though he might lose his heart in the process. But he'll make it; you and I will make sure of it."
I was so thankful to Christian at that moment. He and Lissa would look after Dimitri. There was nothing more I could ask for. I didn't know why Dimitri should have to feel guilty, though; if anything, I'd say he'd be happy with my final departure, since he wanted me so badly out of his life. Ok, maybe that was harsh, but as much as loved him, the scarred part of me would never completely forgive him.
They didn't talk about Adrian, but I discovered through Mikhail that he had moved to England where he could get drunk in peace.
In February, Lissa discovered she was pregnant. It was the first whoosh of joy in their new lives. In November, her baby boy was born. Lissa and Christian were the happiest couple on Earth and named him after her brother, Andre.
My parents, Pavel and I sat together cracking our heads and trying to figure out the mystery of the unknown Dragomir. I proudly say it was my last indirect contribution to Lissa's life, since I no longer was able to be a part of it. Turned out it was Jill, Jailbait of all people. Lissa didn't get to the throne, but caused quite a stir when she vetoed the 16-year-old law, or so I heard.
My life was in Istanbul with my family. My blood related family. Despite my bad mood whenever my past life was involved, I was in awe with the life that was being presented to me. My father, my mother and my brother – all together as a true family should be. It was strange in the beginning, but I got used to it.
My parents – shockingly – got married. To my profound horror, they decided not to go on a honeymoon trip. Instead, their honeymoon happened in the master bedroom next to mine.
I woke up (or rater got up, since I didn't get much sleep) to find I was the only one ready to breakfast. Cahil was out of the country attending (mobster) business. A couple of hours later, my parents lazily dragged their butts to the table.
"Had a good night?" I asked pleasantly.
They just nodded, ever so happy.
"Be careful not give this old man a stroke, mom." She choked on her toast, something hilarious to see.
"So not worth the trouble of having a baby brother", I added much to my father's delight, while she only blushed harder.
What could I say? Domestic life was bliss.
When I first arrived in Turkey, Tad had a newly born. Her name was Emel and her mother had died during her birth. I felt guilty to know that Tad had abandoned his parental duties to save my useless ass. But he did and I felt extremely grateful. In exchange, I spoiled his little girl every chance I got.
Tad and I became friends, really close ones. Due to some joke of fate, his deceived dhampir wife had been a distant cousin of mine, daughter of one of Abe's bastard siblings. Rumor has it Tad's woman was a true copy of me. As his little girl grew up, she started looking more and more like me, leading people to believe she was our daughter. I wasn't comfortable with that, but my friendship with Tad and my growing love for our little princess stopped me from trying to rip people's heads right off their necks.
My visits to Lissa's head continued as she struggled to adapt. Once, to my utter shock, I found a heartbroken Lissa trying to wake a drunken Dimitri who'd fallen in the snow. It was Christmas then and Tasha had come to visit and bring some joy into their lives.
"She was supposed to be here", he mumbled in the middle of his own sobs.
"I know, I know", was all Lissa could say without cracking.
"Life shouldn't exist without her".
She closed her eyes tightly, not having an argument to offer him. Silently, she tried to get him up and straightened.
"It was all my fault, Vasilisa, it was. She was counting on me and I failed her. I wasn't able to protect her, I never was. Not even from myself. Now she's dead –" He fell again on his butt and Lissa hurried to help him. She tried to soothe his pain much the same way Christian had done with her.
"Tell me this is a nightmare. Tell me I'll wake and have a training session with her in the morning. She'll be late, I know, she's always late..."
He trailed off then, mumbling and not making sense.
I couldn't listen to my Dimitri in such a state and saying those things, though I couldn't fathom why a man who didn't love me would act that way. Guilt, I thought. He believed he should have protected me because that's what he was – a protector.
Lissa put him safely in his bed before running to her own bedroom and locking herself in the bathroom. Then she did something she had promised me she would never do again.
"But you're not here anymore", she thought as if hearing me.
She cut herself.
I couldn't stand to see that. I got out of her head and warned Mikhail about her dangerous behavior. He promised not to tell anyone I had informed him about it and went back to Court to set up a flagrant. That day I promised I wouldn't involve myself in her problems. In a way, I didn't let go and I felt like a ghost that wouldn't let her move on with her life. I wondered if she somehow could feel me when I was with her.
Of course, occasionally, I would simply get suck into her mind.
A month later, my heart was crashed into a million pieces, even though I knew I should be happy for him. Dimitri finally accepted Tasha's offer. They all lived together at Court and their lives were full of a newly found peace I would never get to share with them. It was only then I was able to fully block our bond and never again enter Lissa's head. A little over a year after my death sentence.
It took time, but slowly I had the feeling they were going to make it.
Life took an easy pace. My mother and I became Abe's personal guardians, though he had tons of others. His chief guard was Pavel, who my dad also chose to lead his side investigation on the murderer of the queen. It didn't take long for Pavel to find a lead. Hell, the man was good. But the discovering wasn't.
I had been betrayed.
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