"HIKARU!"

"KAORU!"

Hikaru opened his eyes as the voices faded from his head. He stared up at the ceiling. His eyes down casted once more. He was laying on the couch thinking about what happened yesterday.

They had gone to the Hitachin residence and they all stayed there. It was as if Hikaru had shut down.

But Hikaru's mind was quite the opposite.

/..Kaoru...I need to have you back with me...how will I live without you. Without you I can't breathe because you were my air...without you I can't see because you were my eyes. Without you I can't speak because you were my voice, without you I can't move because you were my body./

Hikaru frowned.

/..Without you I can not live...because you were my life./

/Without you I can not exist..because you are me...and I am you./

How could he be a twin...without a twin. The pain was great within him. Plagued by guilt and worry.

"Hikaru..we're going to go now alright," Haruhi said with Mori and Honey behind her. But Hikaru didn't even spare her a glance.

So they left.

Hikaru closed his eyes again slightly tighter then before. There was an aching pain in his abdomen. He knew it was Kaoru....it was his pain.

Hikaru could feel his pain, feel his fear.

It hurt.

"Hikaru."

Hikaru opened his eyes looking over at the blonde he stood before him.

"Hikaru...I.." Tamaki stopped however. His blue eyes becoming slightly hesitant. "I..don't think its a good idea for you to stay here by yourself." he said.

Hikaru looked up at him but didn't reply, he began to sit up.

"I just don't think you should be alone right now." he said.

"Where am I suppose to go then?" Hikaru asked his voice had lost some of its mischievous edge. Hikaru felt a tug at his heart as he spoke.

Because when he spoke..he heard Kaoru's voice as well.

Tamaki looked down at the red head.

"..Well..i think its best if you..stay with me until we find him," he said.

Hikaru looked at him, blue staring into green.

Two different emotions clashing together, one eye reading the other.

"Until?" Hikaru asked silently his eyes staring into blue filled with sorrow, and discouragement.

Tamaki looked at him.

"Don't you mean if?" he asked.

Tamaki frowned looking down at him, he placed his hands on the boys shoulders and kneeled down in front of him.

"No..because we will find him..I promise," he said. Offering a reassuring smile to him.

Just then something sparked up again within those dead green eyes. Hikaru might have considered this an empty promise...but..the sincerity in his voice.

Tamaki saw the spark return to his eyes, and felt overjoyed that his touch had not broken him more.

..............

A few hours later they arrived at the Suoh estate.

They stood in Tamaki's room at the moment. Hikaru stood there staring out one of the windows lined along the wall.

Tamaki looked at him.

"Uh..here let me take your bag," he said taking it from him and storing it next to the bed.

"Sempai..." Hikaru asked while not breaking contact with world outside the window.

Tamaki looked up and blinked slightly...Hikaru never called him sempai. He stood up and looked at the other, who's back was to him.

"Why did you hold me back before.." he asked. Tamaki blinked slightly.

"Why didn't you let me go after him?" he asked. Tamaki frowned slightly.

"..He would have hurt Kaoru...and if you went after them..he would have hurt you too." he said.

Hikaru looked out the window bringing his hand up touching his fingers to the glass. While staring at the sky.

"What am I suppose to do if we don't find him?" he asked silently.

Tamaki walked closer to him he frowned his eyes filling with sorrow and pity for him.

"...I'll just wander the earth all alone for the rest of eternity.." Hikaru said.

"Don't say that," Tamaki said almost pleadingly.

"That's the only fate for me if he doesn't come back...I'm not a person without him." he said.

"You are a person Hikaru," Tamaki replied.

Hikaru shook his head lightly while continuing to stare outside.

"No...I'm not..don't you get it? It's never been 'I' or 'me'...it's always been 'us' and 'we'." he said. "I don't know how to be a separate person..because I'm not anyone without Kaoru."

Tamaki looked at him with sorrowful eyes.

"If we don't find him...I won't be a person anymore, I'll be all alone..because then 'our' world will just be 'my' world."

"I..don't know how to live like that." he said.

"..Hikaru..we will find Kaoru." he stated.

Hikaru opened his eyes to a very familiar sight...a darkened alley. He looked around and widened his eyes to see Kaoru. Over the mans shoulder with his hand outstretched.

"KAORU!" he shouted running with his hand out.

"HIKARU!"

He ran faster and faster but he could never get there, he desperately tried to latch onto his hand. But it was always just out of his reach.

'AH!" Hikaru said as suddenly the ground split with him on one side..and Kaoru on the other.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru screamed.

"Kaoru!" he shouted. Hands so close..almost to touch..and then Kaoru was dragged into the darkness.

Hikaru stared watching him disappear through his fingers.

"..No.." he said falling to his knee's hand outstretched.

"..No."

"No.." Hikaru murmured in his sleep.

"Hikaru.." Tamaki asked, sitting up in bed looking over at the sleeping red head. He had been laying on his side with his back to Tamaki. He had been rather restless in his sleep.

Moaning and groaning in his sleep, his expression was saddening for Tamaki. His brows slightly furrowed mixing an expression of despair and pain.

Tamaki looked down at him placing his hand on the boys shoulder shaking him slightly.

"Hikaru," he said again.

He widened his eyes slightly when he looked at the boys face again. When he saw small tears trail down his face in his sleep.

"..Kaoru.." he whispered.

"Hikaru," Tamaki repeated shaking him a little more.

This time Hikaru began opening his eyes. He sat up rubbing his eyes of the tears. He looked down.

"..Did you have a bad dream?" Tamaki asked.

"..I feel guilty." he admitted.

"Why?"

"...It's my fault Kaoru's gone.." he said.

"No its not..its no ones fault," he reassured.

"It is my fault...I was so close to his hand...in my dream every time. Its so close..I can almost touch him..but he's always just out of my reach." he said.

Tamaki frowned.

"..I'm so close to him and yet I'm so far away...I can't grab his hand..I can run and run as fast as i can..but he always slips away. Every time i get closer he gets farther away. I run and run but I can never catch up to him." he said.

He lowered his head.

"..When I can't run anymore...he always disappears into the dark. I fail every time...he needs me so much and I can't help him."

"Hikaru...it's not your fault...your can't keep blaming yourself." he reassured. He hesitated slightly, before moving forward and wrapping his arms around his frame.

Hikaru blinked slightly.

"Just wait...when Kaoru is back and everything goes back to normal..this will all just be a memory. This will all be just a bad dream."

"..Sempai....will I ever wake up from it?" he asked. Glancing tiredly back at him.

Tamaki looked at him resting his chin on his shoulder.

"..Yeah..I promise you will..but until then you can just stay with me." he said softly. Closing his eyes.

Hikaru closed his eyes feeling sleep consume him once more.

"..I'd like that," he said before falling asleep.

Tamaki opened his eyes looking at the now sleeping twin, he smiled sadly tightening his grip. And leaning slightly more into him closing his eyes.

"..So would I."

TBC

YAY...well someone has got to tell me..is my story just bad...or is it because this pairing isn't popular that no ones reading it

I'd like at least 1 more review before I write more..Please please!