I forgot to put a disclaimer in the first chapter, so here it is!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Even though I wish I did. :(

Chapter 2: Problems, problems, and MORE problems!

"Your closet is the size of a mall! Is that an elevator over there? You have 3 stories in here! Holy cow!Where did you get all this! Why do you even go to the mall anymore! You have the mall in your stinking house! You have signs in here too! The purses are on the second story? Is that the only thing on that story? How many clothes and accessories do you have Alice! How did you even build all of this? I don't remember your house being this big! This is unbelievable! How much did this cost you?" I kept spitting out questions and comments when Alice all of a sudden put a hand over my mouth.

"Be quiet Bella! Do you want the world to hear!?! Now just go in there and pick out whatever you want! In 30 minutes, meet me back here, okay?" I couldn't speak though. I just walked silently into the closet, with my mouth hanging wide open.

"Earth to Bella! Go in there now! Hurry up!" screamed Alice. I then hurried on inside. I turned right, only to find an escalator in my way. How did she get that? I took the escalator up to the shirts and pants on the third floor. When I got to the third floor, I nearly fainted! There were shirts and pants as far as the eye can see! They were organized too! There were color coded sections, section organized by designer, and much more! I had to remind myself to ask Alice for the millionth time where she got all of this. I wandered around the floor, looking at shirts and pants. I forgot why I was here in the first place! I saw price tags that made me almost faint, and shirts that left me speechless.

"Bella, come here now! Hurry up and choose something," Alice screamed. I looked at my watch and realized I had just been looking around for the last 30 minutes! Alice kept screaming at me, telling me to hurry up and come. She can be very pushy sometimes!

"Bella, I swear to god that if you don't come down here right now, you will die! You got it! What have you been doing up there anyway? I bet you didn't even look for clothes! You were trying to escape, weren't you? Bella, you are dead! I am not as patient as you think I am! You will be down here in 5 minutes or you will suffer a slow and painful death! You got it?" Alice kept screaming while I kept looking.

"Alice, stop yelling! I will be down in a minute!" I yelled that while frantically searching for clothes. I went over to the color coded section and looked at the blue shirts and pants. Blue was a very good color on me. Edward commented me every time I wore blue. I ended up getting a blue short sleeved shirt with a flower on it, and some cute navy blue jean shorts to go with it. Alice probably wouldn't approve, considering that I was up here for 30 minutes and she probably would've thought that I would have chosen better, but this was good enough. I needed to hurry unless I wanted to feel the wrath of Alice, and that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. I hope. I ran down the stairs, which I just discovered she had, and went to the closet door. I was tripping a couple of times, and when I got to the door, I fell flat on my face. Alice stood there, stomping her foot impatiently. She turned around and saw me.

"There you are Bella! I was waiting for a very long time you know! Now hurry up! I just had a vision that Edward is coming up in 6 minutes if I don't send you back to him by then. Seriously, Edward can be so-," Alice said, but then I interrupted her.

"Wait a minute Alice! You said that I can go back in 5 minutes, but it has been 40 minutes! I want to go back now!" I screamed. Alice just stood there with a grin on her face.

"Come on Bella! Just 5 more minutes! We didn't even get to do anything yet, mostly because of your human speed! I mean, come on! Humans are very slow, and you are slower than the average human! Do you see what I am talking about?" Alice whined. I sighed. I tried very hard to think of an escape plan. Hmmm. Maybe I could-. Alice interrupted my thoughts then.

"Sorry Bella! I am a psychic, remember? I know what you want to do! There is no way you can call Edward to come save you, or run for the door. You know Edward would be afraid to come, or I would tell him not to, and you know that I would just beat you to the door and get you back here by force. Now, do you want the easy way, or the hard way?" Alice asked.

I sighed. "Fine Alice. I'll choose the easy way. You have 5 more minutes though. Got it?" I asked.

"Okay, I got it Bella! I will make you look so beautiful!" Alice said. She then grabbed me by my arm and pulled me to the bathroom. I would now start calling it the salon though. Alice would probably like that. She would like anything that made the fact that she is a beauty queen known.

"So Alice, what are you going to do to me in your salon today? What treatments do you have and how much do they cost? Also, you didn't answer some of my questions before. First of all, how did you get all the stuff in your closet and outside your closet, and why do you still go to the mall? You never grow, so you don't have to get new clothes," I asked. I tried to make this as fun as possible, considering that this would be very boring and full of torture.

"Well Bella, first of all, I got all the stuff inside and outside my closet by, of course, buying it! I still go to the mall though, because even though I don't grow, I want all the new fashions! I also love shopping, and I obviously don't have anything better to do. Besides, if I don't go to the mall, I don't get clothes and accessories, and I will have to start wearing the same clothes over and over again, and that doesn't give me a good reputation. Get it, got it, good. Now as for the treatments, we have the "Make Bella Beautiful" package, which will make you look 2 times better than you do now. That costs a hug. We also have the "Make Bella Gorgeous" package, which will make you look gorgeous, which is 5 times better than you look now. That costs an hour of shopping with me. We also have the "Make Bella Hot" package, which will obviously make you hot, which is 10 times better than how you look now. We also have the "Make Bella Smoking Hot" package, which will make you look 15 times better than now, and costs 2 hours of shopping with me. Finally, we have the "Make Bella look so beautiful that she will blow away everyone else and much more" package that will make you look 20 times better than now, and will cost 1 ½ hours of shopping with me, and 1 ½ hours of letting me dress you up and whatever else I do. You get to choose your treatment though. Anymore questions?" Alice asked. I just looked at Alice like she was crazy. I then thought of more questions to ask her, and asked away.

"Yes, I do have more questions actually. First of all, you have 10,000 different outfits Alice. How can you start to wear the same things over and over again!?! Second of all, how do you buy all that stuff? You have millions of dollars worth of clothes and accessories in there! Next, I want to choose a treatment. I want to look very hot, as you say, and I will torture myself to get to that level of hotness. Besides, how bad can shopping and dress up be? I am kind of having some fun now, but not that much, so don't get your hopes high Alice! Therefore, I chose the "Make Bella look so beautiful that she will blow away everyone else and much more" package. Okay?"

Alice smiled a huge smile, and then pretended to cry. "Oh Bella! I am so proud of you! You have finally seen the light! You are a fashion girl now! I am so proud of you Bella! I will make you totally hot Bella, and don't worry our shopping and dress up time will be awesome, I promise! Now, as for your questions, I will answer them. First of all, about half of my clothes are out of style Bella! I only want to wear the latest fashions! I also like some clothes better than others. So I would eventually start to wear the same clothes over and over again. This is why I go to the mall. Now, as for your question about how I bought all the stuff, I have a lot of money. I can predict what we should do to get a lot of money fast, and Carlisle has been a doctor for hundreds of years Bella! He has saved a lot of money, in case you haven't noticed! Since we don't need food and other human necessities, we have a lot of money just sitting there, and we just spend it on our wants. It is not even a problem. Carlisle doesn't care and we are happy about that! Now, time to start you treatment! My salon is capable of anything! By the way, nice name for my bathroom Bella! I love how you call my bathroom a salon. We should make up a name for it! I'll call it "Alice's Miracle Salon," because it is Alice's salon, and it is a miracle what I can do! Now, let's get to work!" Alice said. I just smiled up at her. I knew she would like me to call her bathroom a salon, or from now on, "Alice's Miracle Salon." I sat in a comfortable position in the chair. Alice then turned me around, my back to the mirror.

"Alice, why can't I look at the mirror? I want to see myself!" I said.

"Oh hush Bella! I want it to be a surprise! Now, do you want to put on the clothes you picked out on now, or after your treatment? I must say though, excellent choice in clothing. You could have done better, but I have to give you credit for choosing blue clothes. Those really make you even hotter Bella!" Alice said.

"Um, I really don't know. Putting on my clothes now will probably be bad, considering I might move and get makeup on them. Also, putting them on later would probably take more time, considering you wouldn't want me to mess up anything. I'll just put them on later I guess. What do you think?"

"I don't know either, but I'll just let you put them on later. Now it is time for me to work!" Alice said. She turned me around and started brushing my hair. She was trying to get all the knots out of my hair, and that was very painful.

"Ow Alice! That really hurts," I screamed.

"Well sorry! Your dumb knots won't untangle, and it's getting on my nerves!" Alice screamed.

"Well you don't have to do it fast! That just makes it painful!"

"I actually do have to do it fast if you want to get done fast. If I go slowly, it'll take a century!" Alice then yanked and pulled for the next 10 minutes, when finally she was done brushing my hair.

"Man Bella! Your hair doesn't go down without a fight! You really do need my help!" Alice yelled.

"Sorry! My hair doesn't like being pulled and yanked! That really hurt Alice!" Alice then took me to her gigantic sink, and pulled my head down. She started to shampoo my hair. She was really trying her best to make me look hot, but going overboard while doing it.

"Where did you get this gigantic sink Alice?" I asked her.

"I bought it." Alice answered simply.

"Of course. I should've known. You buy everything Alice!"

"Yes I do," she said. She then started really scrubbing my hair, and her face was getting more frustrated by the second. She even started to grunt.

"THIS DUMB DANDRUFF WON'T COME OFF!" Alice screamed.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked. She really looked like she was going to explode.

"THIS STUPID DANDRUFF WON'T COME OUT! WHY WON'T THIS STUPIED DANDRUFF COME OFF?" Alice yet again screamed. I imagined smoke coming out of her ears and shuddered. It really did look like that could happen. It wasn't very hard to imagine with a face that looked like murder on Alice, and incredible knowledge on what she was capable of doing when she got mad. It was quite scary, and I tried to block out the image.

"Alice, it's not my fault. My hair is just one of those hair types that come with all the bad stuff," I stated. I hoped she'd buy it. She probably wouldn't though. She was a fashion queen, or more accurately, a fashion goddess. I was a fashion disaster. All my clothes were only made for comfort, not style. My shoes were made for running, which I don't even do, not style. Now, apparently I found out something else that made me a fashion disaster. My hair was made for torturing the innocent fashion divas, and was made for destruction, not style. I can't really blame my hair though. It seems like everything about me is a fashion disaster. Clothes, shoes, hair, and about 10,000 other things. I mean, come on, I can barely put on makeup without spilling it and getting things mixed up. If I do somehow manage to get makeup on myself though, I end up looking like a clown. That wasn't a pretty image, something somebody can easily go a million years without seeing. That is why I have surrendered to fashion. Everything just seems to go wrong, no matter how hard I try.

"Bella, I know you are lying! No one has hair like this! You did this to your hair! How could you? You destroyed your hair! It has now crossed over to the dark side because of you! Your hair is evil! It is a destroyer and hater of fashion because of you! This is a disgrace! Its job is to destroy fashion!" Alice screamed.

"Alice, please hurry! There is nothing you can do about the dandruff so just forget it! Okay?" I screamed.

"Fine, I'll just forget your hair! I'll just go straight to conditioning it," Alice huffed. She quickly rinsed out my hair, and then put the conditioner in. She started scrubbing, not even bothering to get all the dandruff out. When she was done scrubbing, she rinsed out my hair without problems. Or at least tried to.

"Ahhhhhh! Alice you dummy! You got freezing cold water in my shirt!" I kept moving around, trying to shake myself warm.

"It's not my fault! You're the one that moved! I told you not to move, but what happens? You move! Do you ever listen to what anyone tells you? When people give you instructions, you follow them! They give you instructions to avoid disaster, like now! So don't go blaming all of this on me! You got it, punk," Alice said. Punk? Where did she get that from?

"Alice, where did you get punk from?" I asked.

"Emmett seems to be saying it a lot, so I just started saying it too. You got a problem with that, punk?" Alice asked.

"Alice, stop doing that. Seriously. It's scaring me. Do me a favor and don't hang out with Emmett. You don't really hit me, or anyone for that fact, as the gangster type. Emmett isn't really the gangster type either, but he's closer than anyone of you. So just please stop, okay?"

"Fine, I'll stop. Just stay still, okay?" Alice asked. She then continued to rinse my hair, more carefully this time, and finished in just under 2 minutes. She then started to dry my hair, and the unexpected happened.

"Ahhhhhh! Bella, your hair just turned extremely poofy! Your hairs alive! My eyes burn! I have never seen something so sinister in my entire life! This is so bad! You truly are the enemy of fashion Bella! Why are you the enemy of fashion! Why? Tell me! Why? Good god, your hair is a pig! I swear, someone could lose a brush in here! They could just be brushing your hair, and all of a sudden the brush would get lost! It's going to bring doom to the fashion world! Doom I tell you!" Alice said. Seriously, she was such a drama queen sometimes. Then Alice started staring at my hair.

"Alice what are you-," I stated, but she interrupted me.

"Must." Alice said.

"Alice, are you-,"

"Kill."

"Stop it right-,"

"Hair."

"Alice what are you saying!?!"

"Must kill hair!"

"WHAT!?!" I screamed.

So, do you like this chapter? 2 chapters in one day! I might update again later today. Also, PLEASE review. I need inspiration and feedback!