You Should Always Read the Label

Happyfish: I do not own supernatural nor Axe.

Sam: Warning crack.

Sam had come back with supplies and Dean had complained about the type of deodorant that he had gotten.

"Well that is the only type they had in that small store." Said Sam. "so suck it up jerk."

"Bitch," replied Dean.

Unfortunately they needed the deodorant, because even with showers they could stink up the place and the apocalypse was happening so they had to make do with things. The brand was called, "Angels Will Fall", Dean sprayed the stuff into the air, it did not smell to bad, actually it smelled pretty good so he sprayed it on, is smelled of frankincense, sandalwood, cinnamon and myrrh. For some reason there was a slight alarm that rang in his head, but Dean shrugged there was nothing dangerous about deodorant. Gabriel was nearby, he knew that the two humans that started the apocalypse with the help of Heaven and Hell were nearby and he was going to go mess with them when he was hit with an irresistible scent. The scent of frankincense, sandalwood, cinnamon and myrrh and it was in an even more irresistible since it was bathed on the righteous man. Gabriel licked his lips, he had never been one to resist temptation since his sojourn on Earth and he was not going to now. Even if it was on Dean Winchester, it just added to the allure, both delicious and dangerous, something that he kind of liked. So with an inhuman cry he launched himself to the righteous man, to whichever angel that was able get the Righteous man to submit to them was given an instant status boost, and had slightly more political power in Heaven. He sensed several of his other siblings come down or come closer, Balthazar, Castiel had come down while Lucifer was coming in from a different place.

'Oh no you don't,' thought Gabriel. 'this one is going to be mine.'

Gabriel knew that Dean did not know that spraying himself in frankincense, sandalwood, cinnamon and myrrh was going to get angels on him like white on rice pretty soon. Gabriel flew to where the scent, he cursed Castiel for imprinting those sigils on the Winchesters, it made it incredibly difficult to find them even with the scent.

"Hello big boy," purred Gabriel, this made both Winchesters whirl around and face him.

He enjoyed the looks of surprise on their faces and he sashayed over to Dean and said, "you do realize that the deodorant that you are wearing is frankincense, sandalwood, cinnamon and myrrh. That means you are basically summoning angels and since you are the righteous man that makes angels very attracted to coming to you. It means something to find the Righteous man that is bathed in frankincense, sandalwood, cinnamon and myrrh and claim him for their own."

Dean felt as if Gabriel was hunting him in a way the way he prowled over to him and was circling him, Gabriel snapped his fingers and Dean saw that they were in a different place, it was a hotel. It looked very fancy and beautiful. It also looked like one that came from a scene in Casa Erotica, his eyes were on Gabriel the entire time.

"Where are we and where is Sam," asked Dean.

"We are in a lovely five star hotel room and I thought it would be more appropriate for the activities that we will be doing. " replied Gabriel smoothly.

Dean's eyes narrowed as he asked, "what kind of activities will we be doing?"

Gabriel smirked as he said, "things that have clothing on the floor and people horizontal and sweaty."

"What if I say no," asked Dean, "what if I do not consent to doing such things."

"Then I will leave you to my siblings," said Gabriel. "more and more are showing up as the smell the scent that is clinging onto you."

Gabriel frowned as he sensed Zachariah nearby, "Zach is nearby as are several others."

Dean made a disgusted look, "so I have to be with one of you guys sexually in order to make the others back off?"

"Yes, you also have to submit to an angel," said Gabriel.

"I do not trust you," said Dean. "so why would I submit to you?"

"Is there someone you would submit to," asked Gabriel with an eyebrow raised.

"I want to talk to Cas," said Dean. "I do not believe you and if he says that this has to happen… Well I trust Cas with my life, he raised me from Hell and has saved my sweet ass and is helping to stop the apocalypse."

Gabriel pouted and said, "very well big boy, Cassie does need to tap something after all he is a virgin and that is not a good idea to remain sexually frustrated for eternity or as long as he does live."

Gabriel snapped his fingers and Castiel appeared, he growled, like actually growled at Gabriel and stalked over to Dean and asked, "why did you douse yourself in frankincense, sandalwood, cinnamon and myrrh? Those are used in summoning angels, I thought you knew that, there is an additional side effect for you since you are the righteous man, you have to submit carnally to an angel otherwise you will get the whole host of heaven after you to as you put it "ride your sweet ass". "

"Well shit," said Dean, "Gabriel was not lying."

"So he told you," said Castiel.

"Yes." Replied Dean.

"Dean-o hear chooses you Cassie," said Gabriel. "have fun you two."

With that he flew off to go hide from the others, he after all did not want them to spot him and report to Michael that he was alive. He would then be promptly chased and found and dragged back home and into the apocalypse. Castiel had removed all their clothing with a blink of an eye and was starting to gently prepare Dean for being ridden.

Several hours later a very sore but very pleased Dean said, "for a virgin you are amazing."

"I have been watching humans since your very beginning as a race, I have seen all the ways your race fornicates with one another." Replied Castiel calmly. "You should rest Dean."

Happyfish: and that is it.