by BlueEyes White Dragon Sorcerer
Disclaimer: Would I be posting here if I owned the Harry Potter universe? NO!
Read: Tidbits of things... If you write out a plotbunny from here, please at least notify me.
Beware! Thar be abandoned rabid plotbunnies ahead. Argh!
2nd Set:
Voldemort - or should I say, Tom Riddle - can be rather persuasive, especially when he's got a hand in Harry's pants and he's leaning over him with that possessive/lustful look in his eye. What's Harry to do? Especially when this is all taking place in the dark corner of said pub (inn on the second story, pub on the first, right) they just met in.
#Next#
Dumbles doesn't know that Harry and me
Do it in my house every summer.
He assumes that Harry's at his relative's but he's not there
Still he's on his knees and Dumbles doesn't know!
Oh Dumbles doesn't know!
So Don't Tell Dumbles!
Dumbles doesn't know!
Dumbles doesn't know!
So Don't Tell Dumbles!
Harry says he's out shopping,
But he's under me and I'm not stopping...
Because Dumbles doesn't know!
Dumbles doesn't know! (X3)
So don't tell Dumbles!
Dumbles doesn't know!
Don't tell Dumbles!
I can't believe he's so trusting,
While I'm right behind you thrusting.
Harry's got him on the phone,
And he's trying not to moan.
It's a three-way call and he knows nothing!
Dumbles doesn't know!(X3)
So don't tell Dumbles!
Dumbles doesn't know!(X3)
We'll put on a show!
Everyone will go!
Dumbles doesn't know!(x3)
The parkin lot
Why not? It's so cool when you're on top!
His front lawn in the snow
Life is so hard because Dumbles doesn't know!
We did it on his birthday...
Dumbles doesn't know!(X4)
Dumbles doesn't know!
Dumbles won't know!
Dumbles doesn't know!
Dumbles's gotta know!
Gotta tell Dumbles!
Gotta tell him myself!
Dumbles doesn't know! (X10)
(Chant) Dumbles doesn't know! (x7)
(Chant) Dumbles's gotta go!
Boredom and bad influences... made me alter "Scotty Doesn't Know" by Lustra. XP I'm not sure about making a songfic from this, so just for now...
#Next#
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"NO!"
"Are we - "
"No, Harry, we are not there yet. I will tell you when we arrive." A few blessed moments of silence as an adult and his charge continue their trudge up a steep slope.
"Think they're still following us?" Harry asks his mentor, who is walking a good yard ahead of him. The cloaked figure makes a noncommittal sound as he continues.
"Most likely. We are rather suspicious." The dark-haired preteen snorts and stumbles over a protruding root.
"When are we going to get there?" The other sighs gustily, sparing the boy behind him a glance. He takes the gesture as was intended as him rolling his eyes at the question. "It's a good question!"
"I know, but we will get there when we get there and no sooner. Wizards are never late - "
" - they get there exactly when they mean to. I know, but we've been hiking through the wilderness for the past month!" Another sigh from the Harry's mentor.
"The Floo Channels are being watched, my magic is too weak to Apparate us both, and there isn't any other way to get home." Harry glares at his mentor's back.
"You've been torturing me for the past ten years! Why, then, have we never been here before?" He huffs, watching warily as his mentor halts.
"I've been babysitting you for the past ten years, you ungrateful little brat! We haven't been here because we haven't needed to be here." The cloaked man hisses, annoyed. Harry blinks in surprise.
"So we're that desperate?" He huffs again, pouting up at the cloaked figure, who has turned around to face him.
"Would you rather me be killed, imprisoned, or Kissed and you be dragged off to spend seven years under the old coot's thumb during the school year and locked away with three animalistic Muggles for the summer?" His mentor growls, face less than a foot from Harry's. He makes a disgusted face at the thought of what he would have to live with if they were caught.
"No - "
"Then you'll follow me and keep quiet!" The cloaked man turns back the way they were heading and sweeps off, leaving Harry to hurry after him.
#Shift#
"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes - "
"Harry, if you don't shut up, I'm going to waste a decade's hard work and slit your throat." Harry giggles, then promptly runs into his mentor's back and stumbles back only to be caught by said tall man. "We're here." He looks around, interested, but doesn't see anything different than what they'd be trudging through for the past two weeks.
"What? But there's nothing - " His mentor interrupts him, still holding him against him.
"Of course, you
can't see it, but we're still here." His mentor steps back, one
hand still resting on Harry's shoulder as he leads him past the
barrier than none but the proper owners could see, revealing the
large and imposing manor. Harry's eyes go wide as he gasps, gaping at
the huge house that just materialized from thin air.
"This
is... we're finally here?" Harry could tell his mentor was
smirking.
"Yes, we've finally arrived. This place will shield us from everything, unwanted owls, the Ministry, Aurors, even the old coot... Here we'll be able to use as much Dark magic as we want. You can cast any spell and never be caught." Harry gazed up at his mentor happily. "Welcome to Slytherin Manor, Harry."
#Next#
"I'm never joining you, Voldemort!" Harry screams from his position.
"Oh really? I'm sure I can change your mind, especially since you're tied to a chair and completely at my mercy." Harry's eyes widen and he tries to back away as his arch-enemy approaches him, hips swaying tauntingly.
"Shit..."
#Shift#
"Oh, Merlin!"
"My name's Voldemort. Scream it."
"VOLDEMORT!"
#Shift#
"So that's how your daddy and I finally got together." Voldemort sighs happily, his disturbed child gripping his snake plushie tightly as she watches her father warily.
"Father, can I go now?"
"Why? I was about to tell you about the time - "
"Thanks, but no thanks. Daddy's going to be mad at you."
"Only if you tell."
"Just don't tell me anymore bedtime stories; that's daddy's job anyway."
"Fine..."
#Next#
Harry: So... why am I in a dress?
Hermione: #hemming up the skirt# Because this is the only way to get you close enough to Voldemort so you can kill him and end this war.
Harry: ... so why am I in a DRESS?
Hermione: #sigh# Because the Prophecy says YOU will be the one to defeat V-Voldemort and if you went as a guy, then you would be instantly recognized.
Harry: #sigh# Damn.
Hermione: #stands up# There, all ready. Good luck.
Harry: #grimaces and grabs the portkey#
#Next#
Harry wakes to Tom watching something out his window warily.
"When I tell you to run, run. Alright, Harry?"
"What? Tom?" Realization dawns, chilling Harry to the bone. "Tom?" He gasps fearfully, but Tom just flashes him a bright yet false smile.
"Run."
