A/N: Ok this is my first fanfic and yea I know it sucks but please review let me know what you thing or it, anything!! Maybe just tell me how your day was, or what the weathers like wherever you are! So yea R&R!! Let me know what you think of the story PLEASE! Enjoy! Oh and I really screwed up the epilogue thing. Its not and epilogue cos that's at the end of a story right? Well I'm pretty sure I meant it to be a prologue, what I mean is I want it to be before the story. I seriously confused myself with it so yeah, it's the one that's goes BEFORE the story. Ok. Read on…
Chapter 1:
BPOV
I heard the familiar thumping of footsteps down the narrow hall, warning me someone was coming. By the sounds of it, they belonged to my older brother, Louis, coming to talk to me about something. I had just been sitting on my bed staring into space, thinking of anything but what I always dreaded to think about. Louis was the only one who knew of my cutting, not even my dad, Charlie, knew; I hid them well. I turned my head to face the door, staring at it, just to creep him out when he came in.
Louis just turned 17 and he's doing year 12 this year. He really takes after Charlie – aside from the beer gut – he's tall, lanky, muscular, has the brown hair, hazel eyes, perfect tanned skin of our father and not to mention handsome. He's also popular, smart, really talented in sports, and for some reason always has a different girl under his arm. I don't know why he enjoys it so much, I mean, I've been there, it was that great, hanging out with Miss. I-cant-shut-the-fuck-up-especially-if-I'm-gossiping – otherwise known as Jessica -- and having every freaking dumbass jock following you everywhere, checking out your ass. Oh well…
Louis walked in, catching me staring deeply into his eyes, with a blank expression upon my face. It caught him off guard and he got this panicked look in his eyes. I kept staring, as he looked around frantically, occasionally glancing to see if I was still staring, which I was. Eventually, I couldn't help but breaking into a fit of laughter. Louis looked angry for a second, then his face softened and he smiled, before coming over and sitting on the bed next to me, putting his arm around my shoulder. My brother, my awesome brother, is my only friend, my best friend. Despite my brother's popularity, he would risk everything if anyone picked on me. He's the only one I can trust, and feel comfortable enough with to tell him anything. He's also the only one I can really be myself around; I don't get on well with other people. Not anymore.
"What do you want?" I asked in a mock disgusted voice, and then giggled.
"Just checking on you," He really does worry about me too much.
"Well everything's fine, stop worrying. Go hang out with your girlfriend. What was her name? I forget; you've had too many! Josie? Jane? J...J…Jo! Am I right?"
"Yea, Bellsie, and I think she's the one, and this time I mean it!"
"Pfft, yea right, Loon Tang, like you could ever keep a girl longer than a week!" I made up that nickname when we were just kids.
"Hey! Seriously, I bet I could be with her for the rest of the year!" Well, he must be serious 'cos there's still three more terms of school.
"Ok, deal! You do realise that it's only the end of term one, right?"
He looked taken aback, then recovered. "Yea, Bellsie, I know, I'm that confident, she is the one!" He extended his hand.
I took it, and we did our handshake, which no one knows except us.
I pulled away, looked out the window and sighed. When I looked back to Louis, his smile was gone, replaced with a grim expression on his face.
I groaned. "Spit it out."
"Why won't you go to school?" He asked. "It's been weeks."
"I don't see why I should. No one wants me there. I don't want to be there. If I don't go, everyone's happy."
"You don't even care what other people think, Bellsie, you need to learn, it matters in year 11!"
"It doesn't matter to me. And how do you know I don't care what other people think, huh?"
"It's pretty bloody obvious, Bellsie, and you know it." He had a point there. I always wore black, anything to show my mood. And by doing so, I stood out more than any person in the whole school. Somehow there was no one else who dressed like me at school. Some of my outfits have been pretty crazy I have to admit. What I'd never admit, was that I did care what they thought of me, every hostile glare cut deeper than any of my cuts. Sometimes I wish that everything would go back to normal where everyone was happy, and then I remember what happened last summer…
I sighed in defeat, "Fine, I'll go tomorrow, if I feel like it."
Louis grinned at his victory, "Thank you thank you thank you!!!"
I laughed and playfully punched his arm. Another thing about Louis, he did wrestling, and had taught me self-defence which I was extremely grateful for. "Over dramatic, much?"
Louis chuckled, and then paused.
"What?"
"I just remembered, there's a family that moved here last week. The kids are in both our years. They start tomorrow."
"I see," I murmured. Great. They'll be the topic of discussion for weeks. They'll have heard all the rumours in no time. More people to think I'm a freak. Joy.
Don't be so self-centred; what makes you think they talk about you all the time? I thought to myself. I felt extremely lame after that.
"So you'll still come tomorrow? Please?"
"Ok, fine, but you have to hang with me at lunch."
"Anything for you Bellsie," Louis smiled. I knew I could rely on him to do anything as long as I had a smile on my face.
He kissed my forehead, then left, leaving me to stare into space yet again
