Welcome to the second chapter of 'Rumba'! Your support of this adventure is greatly appreciated! Before you plunge back into this crazy tale, though, please remember something. This adventure, as all of my work does, places heavy emphasis on boy/boy love. If you're the tiniest bit uncomfortable with seeing ANY Smasher in a same-sex relationship (yes, that also applies to Snake), then you're more than welcome to take your leave.

If you're the tiniest bit uncomfortable with seeing ANY Smasher in a same-sex relationship (yes, that also applies to Snake), then you're more than welcome to take your leave.


Dear children, Captain Falcon has returned to grace you with his awe-inspiring, breathtaking presence! The world kinda came to an end when we last met (see Link, Odette and Navi for details), but that hasn't stopped my sexiness! The annihilation of the world doesn't dampen my spirits, for my beauty is immortal! So, as you can tell, I don't really care if we're floating in Subspace! It was about time for me to grace another realm with my radiance anyways!

Ahem ahem. When we last met, we were all blown into oblivion by the most epic battle. The duel between Navi and Odette surpassed the battle between King Henry the Eighth and Sauron! I wish you had been there, because you would agree that their amazing duel put the Dragonball Z battles to shame! Even Goku's jaw would have dropped at the sight of it! And now we are floating aimlessly through Subspace, and I am gracing the desolate darkness with my hot bod!

Samus, none too happy with the situation, folded her arms. "Where in the Hell are we? Looks like we've been blown to the ends of the universe, thanks to Navi and Link's love spat!"

"Don't mock what we share," the Hero of Time said, balling his hands into fists. Tears gushed from his eyes, and pain was engraved in stone upon his face. His heartache was so powerful, it rivaled my unbelivable luminosity! "I love Navi with all of my heart and soul! She's missing and it's all my fault!"

Fox's ears flickered. He looked as if we were merely floating along, riding along a wave in the middle of nowhere.

Wait a minute. We ARE in the middle of nowhere!

"She's missing? Hardly noticed. I have noticed we are standing on air, though. Anyone care to explain how this is possible?"

Zelda stepped forward...on absolutely nothing. Can you imagine how disorienting it is to walk on air? Yeah, I didn't think so. I'll just say it's like walking on air.

"I'll explain everything, dear friends. The power of my Triforce has been combined with Link's Triforce. Together, our Triforces are creating an invincible transportation device. The Goddesses have blessed us with the gift of salvation, enabling us to make our perilous trip through Subspace."

"No they haven't! Our Triforce pieces aren't doing anything, Zelda! You're a liar! A liaaaaaaaar!"

"And you're nothing but a whiny moron," Zelda growled, turning on the Hero of Time with balled fists. Don't ask me why Link would be turned on by Zelda the Lionness, but I guess that's the nature of man. We're animals!

"Who cares if I'm being a fraud?! We're only out here, floating in oblivion because of your idiotic love affair!"

"Don't fret, my pet," the amazingly gorgeous Samus cooed, wrapping her arms around Zelda's waist. "If you want, I'll comfort you. We are meant to be together, after all."

"Excuse me," the unstoppable Solid Snake put in, raising a hand. He's usually a nice guy, but he's playing the 'heartless, cold-blooded Snake' role. The Metal Gear Solid games are so popular, but Snake's a bump on the log in all of them! Don't ask me why they're so popular. Maybe it's because people can blow things up.

"I think we have a bit of a problem. Wasn't I with Samus?"

"According to Falcon's old research, the two of you were a couple," our amazingly useless Pokemon Trainer said, nodding with folded arms. "The two of you were meant to become old killers together, but current trends have changed things."

Rubbing his chin, Snake shared more of his intelligence with a frown. "Doesn't that mean she's technically cheating on me? I mean, we were together at one point-"

"Snake, you're not even supposed to care about being in a relationship!" Samus, being the grand cheetah that she is, snarled. She looked like a spazzed out anime character, exploding at the seams! "You're supposed to be a heartless, cigarette-guzzling sex addict!"

The legendary Liquid Snake shrugged. "Huh. Really? Okay. Let me smack your ass, you-"

"NO DIRTY TALK, YOU DITZ! FALCON SAID CURSING ISN'T ALLOWED, YOU FREAKIN' DAMN IDIOT!"

"Stop cheating on me! DIN'S FIRE!"

"Zelda, WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! HAVE YOU BEEN HYPNOTIZED BY LINK?!"

"I WILL NOT HAVE HYRULE ENDANGERED BECAUSE OF YOUR PROMISCUITY! BEGONE, UNHOLY WRETCH!"

"Wow! Two hot chicks are totally fighting each other!"

"Falcon, what are you doing here?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GUIDING US THROUGH THIS MURKY PIECE OF CRAP!"

"Why, yes, Pokemon Trainer, but haven't you noticed? I'm narrating. That's why the commentary has vanished from view! I'm right in the middle of the action, the suspense!"

"So...if Samus and Zelda are smackin' each other, who does that leave me with?"

"It leaves you with ME, hot stuff," Bowser said, grinning like a pirate with some booty. "I'll be more than happy to give ya what ya need!"

"You'll have to wait a minute, Your Highness," Ike demanded, true to form. Sheesh. He always has to play the role of the conceited, snooty snoot-ball. You think people would put him with Samus, since they both have similiar personalities! Then again, Samus is way hotter than he is.

"It looks like we're approaching the end of oblivion. We'll have to combine our powers if we're to survive this."

A scowl broke out on Fox's face like a plague. Hey! I'm narrating again! And I didn't even know it!

"Survive WHAT, exactly? Where did Odette go?"

"According to my Snake sense," the Snake Senser said, using his magical Solid Eye contraption to pull up information. Why, with the power of his eye contraption, he could do anything! He could become the smartest guy in the universe! What wonders did the Snake Eye hold?!

"Odette's in the middle of nowhere. That's what my Snake senses are saying."

"ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDIN' ME?! WE'RE ALL IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!"

"Samus, calm down. You don't want a heart attack, do you?!"

"Ike, Snake's the one susceptible to heart attacks! Just look at him!"

HACK HACK HACK HACK-

Puff.

"Aaaaah. Smoking is my greatest joy. Aside from killing that is."

HACK HACK HAAAAAAACK-

PUUUUUFFFF.

"Delicious. Can't get any better than this. Gotta love some cigs."

Man alive, Samus is totally hawt when she's pissed. "You can't be serious. Snake, where did you get those things? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE CANDIED CIGARETTES, NOT REAL ONES!"

"Hmm. Lemme see. Think I got 'em from...wait a minute. Why do I have to explain myself to you? I don't have to explain myself to any bimbo. I just-"

"Sheesh! It's no wonder they killed you in Metal Gear Solid 4! You're a total jackhole!"

"For your information, Samus, I didn't die! I go on to live a healthy, meaningless, short life!"

"Your life was meaningless because you spent it all chugging down cigarettes! You didn't do anything but hack your way through the entire MGS series!"

Link turned to Zelda, looking just like a deer caught in headlights. "So is Snake dead?"

"No, but I am," the peasant of Hyrule said, aiming Din's Fire at herself.

Next time, on 'Rumba'...

"It is your destiny to perform the Final Summoning. You are the daughter of Yunalesca and Braska, two legends in their own right."

"I won't perform the Final Summoning! I'll find another way to defeat Sin!"

"THIS ISN'T FINAL FANTASY X, YOU MORONS!"

"Samus is right! And why am I playing the part of Yuna?"

"Why, my dear Snake, that's easy to explain. You're expendable. You are, after all, nothing but a batch of stolen genes."

"WHY YOU FILTHY, NO-GOOD BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!"Hey. I hardly featured any yaoi or yuri! So much for my little warning! Bwah ha ha ha haaaa!