Meredith walked over to the doors on the balcony, them opening as she stood in front of them. She looked into the brightly lighten hallway, a much bigger difference from the environment she was still in. She wasn't ready to go back into the hospital just yet. Going into the hospital would mean that she might have the chance of meeting Derek once more. Meredith knew that she had just wished to be happier, but seeing Derek wouldn't make her happy, it would actually make her more miserable than she had been before she made her simple, childish wish. If she was to see Derek's face now, she knew she wouldn't see a smile, she wouldn't see happiness, she wouldn't see anything but pain and anger, from what she had done only hours earlier that day. Could she honestly stand to see his face, covered in the pain and anger she had caused? She wasn't sure yet. So she stood outside, as the sliding doors began to close once again.
The sky was brightened for what seemed like three seconds. The lightening reached across the sky, to touch something much father away. Meredith turned around, letting her back face the set of opening doors. The rain only hit her face harder, as if it was spitting in her face for not having enough courage to look at what she had created. Meredith didn't mind though, because she felt that she deserved it. Better yet, she knew she deserved it. She deserved to be rained on, hurt, and pained like she had done so many times to Derek. Meredith walked back over to the side of the building that she had been at less than ten minutes ago. Meredith put her hands on the solid foundation that surrounded the top of the building. Meredith looked up at the sky, letting the harsher rain hit her face. She watched as another strike of lightening ran across the sky, and as it vanished away from the dark rain clouds she looked down to the solid pavement below her. The pavement below her held the cars of the doctors, nurses, and patients still in the hospital. She looked across the parking lot, looking for one car in particular. She let out a sigh as she spotted the silver, two doors, BMW.
Meredith decided that now was a better time than none to exit the building. She just needed the courage to do it. She needed the courage to go in the large building, go down the stairs or get into an elevator, and exit the hospital. As for seeing Derek, she needed to look at him, and say something. Say something simple, something so simple that it might even be a 'hi' and if he was to say nothing back, well, she needed to deal with that. Meredith needed to deal with it, and exit the building to go home.
Tomorrow would be a better day to talk to Derek, about the stupid mistake she had made of telling him "it's over, it's so over". She could deal talking about that another day, just not right now.
However, what if Derek was to start talking about it right now? What was she to do? Was she supposed to talk to him, or ask him to talk with her about it tomorrow? She wasn't exactly sure what to do, yet. But she knew, she needed to get into the hospital, and get ready to go home, because she felt that tomorrow was going to be a big day for her, and she wasn't going to be at the hospital until the next day.
