March 13th, 2017
03:42am

In the midst of a dream about toxic jelly beans, you stirred awake and you blinked wearily at the bright alarm clock that rested near your bed. You had half the mind to throw it and its bright ass across the room, but the sound of wood creaking stopped you. You held your breath as you strain your ears for another sound.

There it was again. It was yet another sound of wood creaking, which was quickly followed by the sound of something being knocked over.

You lurch up in bed and you grab one of Dave's shitty swords before getting up and going to investigate. It was very dark, and with the sounds being slow and steady, they were going towards the bedroom. They were all coming from downstairs. However, they were nearing the stairs.

You toed quietly to where the stairs were and you pressed your back flush against the nearest wall as you waited for the intruder.

Soon enough, the sounds were coming up the stairs. It got up towards the top and stopped. That's when a familiar voice rang through the darkness.

"Karkat?" The voice whispered softly. Its familiarity showed that it was Dave, who had just gotten home.

You drop the sword and you turn to face the stairs in surprise, "Dave?"

Dave moved, hugging you gently. "Yes, it's me." He whispered, feeling around behind you before turning the hallway light on. He still had messy hair, and his shades were on, but he had a real and warm smile on his face. All just for you.

An ache formed in your chest, he was still as radiant as ever and you could bet that you looked like shit from having just woken up, but you pull him down and you mash your lips to his hungrily anyways. You had missed the warm feel of his lips moving against yours, you were desperate for any kind of affection from the man. You weren't sure if this was because of you or your hormones from the pregnancy, even though you don't think that they'd affect you so suddenly, but it could explain why you were so upset with his leaving.

Dave didn't pull away until you were both in high need of air and you were pretty thankful for this as you watched him take his shades off to reveal the pretty ruby red eyes of his.

You took his shades from him gently and put them in the pocket of your crab-patterned pajamas before giving him a sleepy smile, "I thought you were an intruder, Strider." You admit freely.

"The only intruding I did was me intruding into your heart." He whispered, kissing you sweetly before picking up his fallen swords. "Glad you were able to protect yourself from the forces of gay." He smirked, leading you back to your shared bedroom once the light was turned off.

"The only time I'll ever touch one of your shitty swords, Strider." You warned softly. "And it wasn't even that useful in protecting me from your gay."

It was clear that he was somewhat tired from his late flight and you took pity on him as he undressed into only his weird apple juice boxers. You weren't entirely sure where he had gotten them but you suspected Egbert had a hand in this.

While you were busy wondering about them, Dave had put the sword back and crawled into bed. "I know, but still, I rather you make sure to stay protected." He reached for you, a small smile on his face.

"I'm pretty capable of protecting myself." You remind him as you crawled into the bed and laid down in his arms.

"I know. I still want to make sure you're protected. You're not just protecting yourself now." He whispered, his hand very slowly resting on your stomach.

The movement made you tense up since you had temporarily forgotten that you were pregnant and you looked up into Dave's eyes curiously, "Does that mean you think we should keep it?"

He was quiet, pulling you closer to him. "I don't want to force you to keep it if you don't want to, but I like the thought of having a baby with you." He mumbled, gently rubbing your stomach subconsciously. "So… yeah. Yeah, that means I think that we should keep it." He kissed your head lovingly. "We can talk about this in the morning, though, I don't want to force you to keep it if you rather not have a baby right now."

You pull away just far enough for you to gaze into his crimson eyes, which almost seemed to glow in the dark, "Strider?" You start as you unwound one of his arms from around you and you took his hand, gazing at the milky white of his skin. Just the thought of your grub possibly being both human and troll made your head hurt. How does that even work? What would it even look like? "What if the grub is grossly disfigured? What if it comes out looking like a spawn from hell?" You sigh quietly. "The media would have a field day if they found out we're the parents of the next antichrist."

Dave let out a snort, doing his best not to laugh. "Karkat, our baby won't be grossly disfigured. For one, you're the one having it, so it's already got hot genes, then there's my genes, and from what you've gone on and on about, I seem to be the sexiest person alive." He kissed your face lovingly, smiling at you in the dark. "The only field day the media will have is them wondering how we produced a god."

You rolled your eyes at the ball of marshmallow fluff that was your boyfriend and gazed up at the ceiling with another sigh, "What happens if we decide later on that we don't want the grub? We're not even married, what if we break up?" Your eyes flickered back to Dave's face and you gently ran your thumb over his lips gently. They were smooth and you wondered briefly if he had been using chapstick again. "I don't want the grub to have to deal with growing up in a broken home."

"We're not going to break up, Karkat." He spoke urgently, holding you close to him. "If we decide we don't want the grub… then we can see if one of our friends can raise it, but I'm fairly certain that we'll raise it together. It'll have a perfectly stable home, even if we're not married. We'll get there eventually."

As he spoke, you rested your head on his chest and listened to his heart beat with a frown. Yours didn't beat half as slow as his did and on most days, it caused you some worries but now, it was more comforting to hear how calm he was about this new predicament, "I think I'd like to keep this grub. We're more than financially stable enough to take care of it and even though you're busy half the time with filming, I'll be able to take care of it since I just write music for John's shitty band." You mused softly.

He listened quietly, stroking your hair. "I don't want you to have to raise the grub on your own. I can try and get out of some filming to stay home and help." He yawned, moving and holding you close as he pulled the blanket over the two of you and you pulled the blanket until it was up to your neck.

"So, we're in agreement then? We're making this happen? We're having a grub together?" You kiss the hollow of his throat and shifted to meet his eyes again.

"We're having a grub together." He smiled, stroking your hair as his eyes looked into yours lovingly.

You relaxed into him for only thirty seconds before you shot up and grabbed your device off of the bedside table. You had a memo to open.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] opened memo on board DIPSHIT AND THE DIRECTOR: gay edition bc kitkat cant be straight if his life depended on it

CG: SO, I GUESS THIS AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY TO OPEN THIS GODFORSAKEN MEMO AND STRIDER, I DON'T RECALL GIVING YOU PERMISSION TO NAME IT.

turntechGodhead [TG] responded to the memo -

TG: lmao
TG: barry and other barry are mad
CG: THIS AGAIN? I THOUGHT WE WENT OVER THIS ALREADY. I AM IN NO WAY A CYBORG.
TG: you are in bed, robo-vagina
CG: I DON'T EVEN HAVE A VAGINA. IT'S CALLED A NOOK, DAVE.
TG: tomato, potato
CG: THOSE THINGS ARE *COMPLETELY* DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER.
TG: unlike a vagina and a nook, which, anatomically, are the same thing

- ectoBiologist [EB] responded to the memo -

EB: hey guys!
EB: oh, uh.
EB: what did i walk in on?
TG: everything, john
TG: everything
CG: YOU'VE NEVER EVEN SET ONE FOOT CLOSE TO A VAGINA, DAVID. THEY ARE VERY DIFFERENT.
CG: FOR EXAMPLE, A NOOK IS SMALLER THAN A VAGINA AND I DON'T GROW HAIR ALL OVER IT.
TG: they look very similar
TG: your bulge is practically a very large, tentacle-shaped clitoris
EB: oh wow.
EB: i think i should just go.
CG: NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID, STRIDER. PEOPLE ARE LEAVING BEFORE WE CAN EVEN MAKE A PROPER ANNOUNCEMENT.

- arachnidsGrip [AG] responded to the memo -

AG: Hahahahahahahaha!
AG: God, you two are still hilarious.
TG: oh fuck
AG: Anyways, I'm here for the announcement.
AG: Joooooooohn, is that you?
EB: vriska?
EB: how have you been doing?
EB: did you get that autograph i sent you?
AG: Yes, I did. I love it, thank you.
TG: KARKAT THEYRE INFECTING THIS WITH THEIR FANGIRLING HELP
CG: FUCK. OKAY, YOU TWO NEED TO STOP. I THOUGHT I WAS BAD WITH MY TROLL WILL SMITH OBSESSION.
CG: WHEN ARE YOU TWO GOING TO GET OUT AND WATCH ACTUAL MOVIES THAT DON'T SUCK?

- timeausTestified [TT] replied to the memo -

TT: Did someone say they want Dirk Strider to suck their dick?
CG: OH MY GOD.
TT: Anyways, I heard there was an announcement, and I'm here to see what this all unfolds to.
T: Do I need to sit down for it?
CG: WELL. THERE IS A PRETTY HIGH POSSIBILITY THAT DAVE IS LOOKING AT DEVICES THAT ARE BASICALLY LIKE PRISON CELLS THAT GRUBS SLEEP IN AT NIGHT AND REALLY AT ANY TIME BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK. WHEN DON'T THEY SLEEP?
TT: Ah.
TT: Didn't know Dave had a thing for fatherhood.
TT: Mazel Tov.
CG: EVEN YOUR BROTHER IS IMPOSSIBLE, DAVE. YOU CAN HANDLE THIS FROM HERE.
TG: how, you pretty much just told everyone that were baby planning, its obvious that you have a grub growing in you
EB: wait.
EB: you guys are going to have a baby?
EB: won't it be like… deformed or something?

CG banned EB from responding to the memo.

- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] responded to the memo -

TG: omg

TG: davey and kitty are having a baby

TT: Yes, Roxy, they're having a baby.

TG: awe, thats so cute

TG: have you seen pics of human/troll babies?

CG: SEND THEM NOW. SO THAT EGBERT DOESN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT HIS GODSON OR GODDAUGHTER WILL BE DEFORMED.

TG: /TrollHumanBabies

TG: /TrollHumanBabyInSunhat

TG: /TrollHumanBabyAfterBirth

TG: /MartiniGlassWithAKittenInIt

TG: oops, wrong pic

CG: THAT'S NOT EVEN A BABY AT ALL. WE DID ALSO ADOPT A KITTEN THOUGH.
CG: HE IS ACCURATELY NAMED BRAVE SIR ROBIN.

TG: awe that's so cute

TG: what are these precious baby pictures
TG: what is
TG: KARKAT HELP WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY EYES
CG: THOSE ARE TEARS, DAVE. CALM THE FUCK DOWN.
TG: WHY ARE THERE TEARS
CG: IT'S THE PREGNANCY HORMONES. THEY MUST BE CONTAGIOUS.
TT: Hahahaha, Dave caught hormones.

TG banned TT from responding to the memo.

TG unbanned TT from responding to the memo.

TG: sorry, that was immature on my part
TT: Don't sweat it.
CG: WELL, NOW THAT WE'VE GOTTEN THAT TAKEN CARE OF. DAVE AND I ARE MOVING TO LA TOGETHER SO THAT I CAN BE NEAR HIM WHILE HE WORKS ON DIRECTING HIS NEW MOVIE.
TT: Have fun, don't get mugged, don't do drugs out of a prostitute's ass.
TG: dirk what the hell
TT: Just watching out for my baby brother.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] closed memo on board DIPSHIT AND THE DIRECTOR: gay edition bc kitkat cant be straight if his life depended on it

You set your device down and sigh as you moved back into Dave's arms, "Your family are all creeps. Except for Roxy. Roxy is okay." You mumble.

"Roxy is nice, she's also fun to hang out with. She's also no longer drinking, so that's even better." Dave whispered, holding you close as he yawned, cuddling close. "Hey, baby?"

"Yeah, Dave?" You yawn yourself and close your tired eyes. It had been a long day and you were exhausted.

"Tomorrow, do you think we could think of names?" He asked, cuddling closer to you as he fell asleep, not even waiting for you to answer. You kissed his head gently and fell asleep beside him.

March 13th, 2017
07:29am

After a long, restful night of sleep, you made breakfast for Dave and yourself. It ended up being bacon, eggs, and hashbrowns. As you waited for the elusive blond, you dunk your bacon into your decaffeinated coffee and read the newspaper tiredly as you ate.

Dave soon made his glorious presence known by hugging you from behind, looking at your mug. "That's decaf, right?" He mumbled sleepily, nuzzling you with a soft hum.

"Of fucking course it is." You reply crankily. "I wouldn't cause any potential harm to our grub. What do you take me for, Strider?" You pass him a cup of caffeinated coffee with a grumble.

He took it, starting to drink it. "Wasn't saying you would harm-" He started coughing. "What the HELL is in this?!"

A smirk slowly stole across your lips, "Oh that? Well, I thought you liked hot and spicy things?" You asked innocently.

He looked at you, his face was turning red. "How much hot sauce did you put in this?" He asked.

"Just a few drops." You shrug.

"Just checking." He took his mug, drinking his coffee once again.

You stopped what you were doing and you had to just stare at your boyfriend for a few long moments, wondering what the fuck was going through his mind. "You don't have to drink it, Dave."

"Maybe I don't, but I don't know if I'll get anymore caffeine after this."

A frown crossed your face and you gently took the coffee cup from his hands before replacing it with your own, "You don't have to stop drinking caffeine because of me, Dave." You pour out his mug and set it in the sink.

"Well, I don't want you to end up making some coffee that's caffeinated by accident, I'm worried about the two of you." He whispered, drinking from the mug slowly.

"Well, I was thinking about maybe calling it quits on coffee for a little while anyways." You gently push back a few strands of his hair. "If you stop drinking caffeine, you're going to be a zombie whenever you have to go to work."

He moved, laying his head against you gently and you cradle him close for a little while, "What about Camille for a girl?" You decided to change the subject.

"Camille?" He asked, glancing at you. "It's pretty.

"Or maybe Marlene." You shrug.

He thought for a long moment. "Marlene. I like that." He whispered.

"What should we do for a boy?" You gently took his hands and placed them on your hips before resting your own on his shoulders as you swayed around the kitchen with him.

"Either Regulus or Jace, both seem like good names." He held you close, resting his head on yours. You roll your eyes a tiny bit, "Jace, huh? What if the kid turns out to be afraid of ducks because we gave him that name?"

"Well, it could be worse, his best friend could be gay for him then end up going for an Indonesian with a glitter obsession who owns a cat named Chairman Meow." He joked.

"Well, I like Jace." You mused. "Jace or Marlene Strider-Vantas it is."

"We've got baby names." He whispered softly, kissing you. You kissed him back and in that moment, you felt like nothing could go wrong.