Meow: What are the people in Hueco Mundo doing for Halloween? After all, it's their holiday, if anyone's.

Disclaimer: pheonixflamechimera78 doesn't own Bleach, Barbie, Barney, Thomas the Train, or Skittles. All we own is our nonsensically long name.

Plain text=…plain text.

"Quoted plain text"=talking

Italics=setting/thoughts/emphasis

Bold=Meow's A/Ns

Hope you had a good Halloween! (We sure did.)

October 24, 2009 in Hueco Mundo

"And that concludes the summary of our evil plots for world domination," said Aizen epically. "Now, we shall move on to a subject that is far more pressing that even that. Because we exist in a dimension populated by huge, heartless, soul-eating monsters with unworldly powers, it has been decided that we should honor the holiday that celebrates freaks like us, Halloween.

"I have assigned you all costumes. Stark, you shall be…a roof tile," he said, reading from a list.

"Zzz…mmm, waffles…" said Stark intelligently.

"Barragan, you will be a toothbrush."

"When I was yer age, I was king, and we didn't have to dress up for none of these silly holidays," complained Barragan. "Then you young whippersnappers come along, and now even the elderly have to suffer with you. Shame, I say! Shame!"

Ignoring the self-proclaimed god, Aizen went on. "Halibel, you will be a salt shaker."

"…are these absolutely mandatory?" asked Halibel.

"Yes. Ulquiorra, you will be a drunken Barbie cheerleader."

"Yes, Aizen-sama." O_O Wow, Ulquiorra, wow.

"Nnoitra, you will be a fork."

"Nooooo!!!!!! Not the dreaded enemy!!!!!" wailed Nnoitra.

For the first time in years, Aizen looked disturbed. And because he lives with the Espada, you have to give the guy some credit. "Yes, Nnoitra, the 'dreaded enemy'. Grimmjow, you will be Barney the Purple Dinosaur." Wow, just typing those words pain me.

"Fuck!" said Grimmjow.

"Now, now, my children, no foul language, please," said Aizen in what he hoped was a paternal voice.

The Espada interpreted it as just plain creepy and scooted away from him, which is no mean feat in a ten-foot-tall rock chair. Even Gin and Tousen took a step away.

Aizen continued dishing out what he thought was costume assignments, but what the Espada thought was their punishment for their sins from their past ten lives. "Zommari, you will dress up as Cupid."

"Finally, an excuse to force people to accept my love!"

Gin, of all people, was most mortified. "Uh, Aizen, I think you just made him creepier. And just when I didn't think that was possible."

Aizen ignored him. "Szayel, you will go as a copy machine."

Szayel was outraged. "That role does not befit an entity as perfect as myself!" When I first typed it, I accidentally typed, "that role does not befit an entity as sucky as myself" because that was what I was thinking. Don't get me wrong, I think Szayel's pretty awesome for a drag queen (just kidding), but it just popped into my head randomly.

Nobody commented because nobody cared enough to. "Aaroniero, you will be a hot dog."

Silence.

And then, Grimmjow said, "Where the hell is Aaroniero, anyway?"

Yammy was getting irritated. He didn't give a damn about Aaroniero, he really didn't want to find out what his costume was, and he was hungry. "Nobody cares! This place is a real love fest, isn't it?! Now shut the fuck up and let's get this over with so we can have dinner!"

Grimmjow was annoyed at Yammy for stealing his word. Nobody steals Grimmjow's word.

"You retarded cannibalistic son of a bitch! We already had dinner! Guess what it was? Tacos! Yesterday was burritos! What did we have to wash it down besides fucking tea? Tequila and margaritas! I'm sick and tired of Mexican food!

"I'm French! Read my name! Jeagerjaques! That's freaking French! I'm freaking French! I don't want to live in a place with a Spanish name, eat Mexican food every fucking day, and have powers with Spanish names, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks so! Ulquiorra's like German or something! Do you agree with me, you retarded emo?!"

"If Aizen-sama wishes that we stay here, I will be content."

"…fuck you, Batboy."

Aizen just acted like the whole thing never happened. He seemed to be making a habit out of that lately. "Yammy, you will be a backpack."

"…what the hell?"

"Tousen, you will be Thomas the Train."

"Yes, Aizen-sama. I am grateful, for Thomas the Train is a pure being, one that is not tainted by injustice."

For the second time that day, Aizen looked disturbed. Another thing that was happening more and more often. "Gin, you will be a bag of Skittles."

"Yay!!!! Kids love Skittles!!!!"

"Oh, wait, I read it wrong. I'm going to be the bag of Skittles, and Gin will be homework."

"Oh, that's just not fair." Pedophile alert!!! Once again, don't get me wrong, it was just too funny. XD

GASP!!!! WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!

I actually do know. Just keep on reading through the next chapters, and find out what happens (after chapter three, because that's the Soul Society contest and party) when they go trick-or-treating!

Oh, and sorry if I offended anyone in Grimmkitty's rant. Although I'm not sure how anyone would be offended…whatever.

Bai-bai!