All the quotes from the books, are from this little how- to, on Lucid dreaming.
If you want to know how yourself, here's the link: Lucid-Dream
and as always thanks for reading!
Sorry for any mistakes.
Lucy new she was falling again and it frightened her. She couldn't prepare herself for the fall, if it ever came. The wind was cold against her skin. She hugged herself and tried to block the coldness. It was hopeless. Lucy new that, but she had to at least try.
Abruptly, a flash of warmth surrounded her. It pulled her in and blanketed her with reassurance.
"Change it, Lucy. That's the only way you'll get rid of this dream. Change it." Lucy opened her eyes she hadn't known she had closed.
Those words repeated themselves in her head, but she couldn't identify who the owner was. Whoever it was had giving her a key and stopping this horrendous dream. And trust she wanted it to end.
But for now she couldn't change it. So she fell with an unknown ending waiting for her.
Was there even an ending?
Would she find out if she changed it?
How did she change it?
~X~
Lucy opened her eyes. She couldn't move. Her body was paralyzed in between her mattress and her covers. She tried to speck but nothing came out. It scared her more than the dream had. She closed her eyes and tried to calm her breath. She suddenly felt a hand grasped hers. She opened her eyes to only see a blur of the person's face.
"Lucy?" the person said. She could barely make out the messy raven hair and grayish blue eyes peering down at her. Very slowly her vison reemerge itself back to normal. Gray looked down at her, his face filed with concern.
She gave him a lazy smile and patted his hand. "Heeeey Gray." She cringed at the way her voice slurred. He chuckled down at her.
"Morning, Erza's here. Are you hungry?" she hadn't noticed until then, but she actually was famished. She nodded and Gray stood up. She went to sit up herself but Gray just easily eased her back down. "I'll tell Erza and run and get you something to eat. Take it easy Lucy. You should just rest today."
Reluctantly she relaxed back into her pillow. "Okay." She sounded weak and tired, but then again that was what she was. Gray left with one last smile. She watched him go into the kitchen for a moment before he walked out the door. Soon Erza was by her side checking on her.
"Lucy, how are you feeling? Anything hurts?" Lucy shook her head. She lied though. Her back was killing her but she didn't want to complain. Erza nodded.
"Um Erza" the red headed mage looked down at her, giving Lucy her undivided attention. "May I have some water please? My throat is a little dry." Erza gave her a firm nod.
"Of course." Lucy new it was selfish, but even if it was for just a moment she wanted some time to think. She could barely remember the events from yesterday but anytime she tried to think of them, she felt a small burn in her chest. Then she would remember his voice. His voice telling her "Don't fight me, Lucy"
She couldn't fight him. She was too confused to even understand what he meant by that. Did he want her to accept his assistance? Did he want her to just give up, or did he just want her to let him take her home. In the end it was all the same. He wasn't even here to answer that question. For all she knew Gajeel had just helped her to help himself. She knew she shouldn't think like that but it was all she could put together from what happened.
"I owed you" is what he had said. He couldn't possibly still hold a grunge against himself for that one time. Then again she never told him she had forgiven him for what happened. Maybe she had to clear the wave of confusion between the two of them. Would that help? She eventually had to see him again. She was going back to the guild.
Erza walked back towards her with a glass of water in her hands and sat on the edge of her bed. "Do you need some help sitting up?" she asked. Lucy shook her head and very slowly slid her body up into a sitting position. Erza pulled the pillow up behind her back and handed her the glass. Lucy took it after thanking Erza and brought it to her wanting lips. She greedily downed the fluid before handing the empty glass back to Erza.
After the requip mage returned from depositing it in her sink, Lucy decided she had something more important to tend to at the moment. Looking up at her friend, she asked, "Erza is there a way to control you dreams?" the older mage lifted an eyebrow and nodded.
"Yes there is away, lucid dreaming. Why?" Lucy shrugged.
"I'm just a little interested. Do you think I could go to the guild and look for a book on it?" Erza bit her lip and looked away.
"I don't know Lucy, maybe after Gray gets back and you eat something." Lucy nodded not wanting to press her chances. She wanted change this dream and she also wanted to see Gajeel. That only was for her at the guild. She knew what was waiting for her there but she also knew she had to move on. She shouldn't let Natsu's words get to her. Even though it was crushing her on every word he had said, she had to show him that she wasn't going to let those words affect her.
It was all she had to live for at the moment. Otherwise she wouldn't even be up at the moment.
Gray had come back with donuts which Erza questioned. Gray just grinned and replied "Lucy needs the sugar, mom" Lucy took one without hesitation and smiled at the sweetness. When Erza saw her smiling face, she gave up on being stern and grabbed one herself. They left about five left for later. Erza decided she would stay with Lucy until her back was better. And Gray was going to come by every morning to check on her. Lucy didn't mind. She actually liked the idea and agreed to it.
Gray ended up taking her to the guild as Erza had some errands to run for Master. Walking side by side with him, Lucy was happy. She was glad her whole team didn't blame her for everything that happened with Lisanna. Well and Gajeel. She was sad that this might end her relationship with Natsu even after everything they'd been through.
Boy the irony lately.
"So you want to lucid dream?" Gray asked looking over to Lucy. She nodded slowly as she watched her boot covered feet plant themselves one after another in front of her as she walked on to the guild hall. She wore the shirt Gajeel had given her. She hoped by wearing it, it showed that she really did appreciate his help. Everything he had did. She knew she had to give it back but she thought just for today, she'd wear it once more.
Turning over Gray, she smiled. "I thought it would be something different." She didn't think she had to tell him about the dreams. It wasn't something serious or if so she'd tell him as soon as she found out.
"Yeah, maybe I might even give it a try." They paused right in front of the guild doors as Gray pushed them open, letting Lucy past inside before him. Once she was inside she peered around and found the person she was looking for in the corner of the guild as normal, eating his iron scraps. He peered over at her and their eyes locked on each other for a moment. Gray grabbed her hand pulled her attention away from Gajeel as he led her through the guild and to the library. She looked back towards Gajeel to see his eyes watching her as she slowly walked away with Gray. She lowered her glaze as he turned to Levy walking back towards him with a book in her grasp.
She took in a breath and focused on the task at hand. There had to be away for her to stop the dream. The only way was if she could change it.
She was going to change it.
Gray picked up a book and held it out to Lucy. He didn't want her to do any heavy lifting with her injured arm, so she sat on the floor and peered in different books while he searched and steadily added on the increasing pile on either side of her crossed legs. "How's this one?" he asked. She flipped through it and looked at the words printed onto the pages.
Gray joined her on the floor and peered over her shoulder. She looked at a particular paragraph and read it aloud. "Lucid dreaming is awareness that you are dreaming. This awareness can range from very faint recognition of the fact to something as momentous as a broadening of awareness beyond what has ever been experienced even in waking life. Lucid dreams usually occur while a person is in the middle of a regular dream and suddenly realizes that they are dreaming. Once you realize this, you have the ability to control your dreams, which is pretty much the most essential part of lucid dreaming."
Gray leaned back and picked up another book. "This one says something about 'Stephen Laberge's mnemonic induction of lucid dreaming'" he cringed. "Looks like theirs a lot more steps then I had pictured." Lucy nodded. Gray picked up a few books and tucked them under his arm. "How about we try the basic techniques we read in the first book?" Lucy stood up and went to grab a few books when someone took them from her. She turned around to Laxus peering over the cover.
"Lucid dreaming?" he said. "What made you want to look into this Blondie?" he took the other books she was holding and looked at those too." Lucy thanked him and went to take them back but he waved her off. "You shouldn't carry heavy things with that arm. Relax, I won't steal them from you." Lucy gave up and let him hold them. "Now answer my question."
"I don't know, I just wanted to know if it was possible." She looked away and wouldn't look him in the eyes. Laxus grabbed her chin and turned her head towards him.
"Liar" he teased. He let go and started out the library. "Come on, you want these to go?" Gray walked after him.
"Yeah, thanks Laxus." Lucy started to follow but froze when she saw they forgot a book. Picking it up she saw it didn't have a title. She flipped through the pages and frowned when they were all blank. Laxus poked his head back in and called out to her. She turned to him and looked back down to the book. One of the basic steps did say to keep a journal of her dreams. She bit her lip and took it with her.
Laxus was waiting for her at the door and let her slip past him and back into the guild hall. There was more people then there was one she had first come in. Natsu was now there. He keep his eyes away from her. Happy would look at her a few times but for the most part looked away. It pained her, but she tried to focus of something else. She shouldn't let Natsu get to her.
Lucy watched Laxus walk over and set the books on an unoccupied table also taking the one she had in her hands.
Lucy sat down as Laxus did beside her. She looked up at him and frowned. "Are you staying?" he nodded. "Why?" he looked down at her and flashed her a grin.
"Maybe I just wanted to help a fellow Blondie, is that bad?"
"No, I guess not." She didn't know why he was being nice to her, but she took what she could get. If he was going to open up and talk to her, who was she to push him away. Maybe it would be nice for her to get close to the dragon slayer.
She looked over to Gajeel on the opposite side of the guild doing the same as before, not much of a change except Levy was with him this time. She wanted to walk over and talk to him but she thought it was best to put it off for a little while longer. Or was that just her nerves talking?
Laxus grabbed a book and opened it. Lucy looked around and found no sign of Gray. She asked Laxus and he told her that Gray took the other books she had back to her apartment.
Lucy didn't know how long she sat there with him looking through each book learning ways on how to Lucid dream. She asked questions and surprisingly Laxus answered each one no matter how stupid it was. He kept his patience with her and she enjoyed his company. After a while she could feel herself being pulled away. She couldn't focus on what he was saying and instead felt herself slowly lower her head to the side.
She had fallen asleep.
~X~
She was standing in a street. It was empty. She could see nothing but a mere silhouette walking towards her. As it got closer she could see it was Laxus. He kept walking towards her until he was right in fount of her.
She looked into his Gray-blue eyes, wondering why he was with her. He held his hand up. Another took it. It wasn't her own.
Laxus pulled that hand with him and she watched as another of herself was pulled out of her and started walking beside Laxus.
The scene changed.
She was now looking into a bedroom. She was at the door looking at a bed. She was on it. The dream Lucy. She was crying. A hand stroked her hair and whispered things in her ear.
It wasn't Gajeel.
It wasn't Laxus.
It wasn't Gray.
It was Natsu.
She stared at the scene as Natsu slowly stroked dream Lucy's hair. He suddenly pulled away from her and looked in her eyes. "Don't get your hopes up." He said.
And then she was falling again.
She closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands. She didn't want to see Natsu.
Or Laxus.
She just wanted Gajeel.
But all she did was fall. With each passing second it hurt her, burning into the pit of her stomach.
"You shouldn't be here" a voice had said. "You should be in lisanna's place." Lucy knew that voice was probably right.
"Shut it!" another voice yelled. Lucy opened her eyes to see Gajeel in front of her holding out his hand. "Don't you dare listen to them!" Lucy looked away. The fall was getting faster and she couldn't control her movements anymore. Her body was numb, paralyzed in fear for the fall that would never come.
"Don't fight me, Lucy"
Lucy closed her eyes again.
She was imagining him.
Gajeel wasn't real.
He wasn't there.
It pained her.
~X~
Slow circles rubbed into the palm of her hand as Lucy slowly opened her eyes. Like this morning, she couldn't see, her vison blurred. She couldn't move at all. Her body was stiff and felt like noodles, but she felt circles in the palm of her right hand. "It's alright." A voice said. A hand came to her back as it rubbed up and down gently. Lucy buried herself into the shoulder of the person there with her.
Slowly her vision came back to her. She could see the swaying of black in the corner of her eyes. She looked up and noticed she wasn't at the guild. She was being carried.
Pulling back to look at the person, her heart started to beat fast when she saw it was Gajeel. Her legs were wrapped around his waist and she laying over his shoulder. How long had they been like that?
Gajeel smiled at her. "You alright?"
"What happened?"
"You feel asleep on Laxus. He didn't know what to do, so I said I'd take you home." she cringed. She'd have to apologize to Laxus the next time she saw him.
"How long had I been out?"
"For about an hour. We've been walking for about five minutes. Want me to put you down?" Lucy didn't want him to, but she nodded anyway. He paused and set her down off of his body. She mumbled a thanks and started to walk with him towards her apartment. "Are you having bad dreams?"
Lucy looked up at him. She gave up. She didn't care. Guess she had to tell someone. "Yeah."
"How long."
"Since the night before last." He handed her a book. She looked down at it and noticed it was the blank paged one.
"Mira said it was fine for you to keep it. She'd found it about a month ago and didn't know what to do with it."
Lucy looked over to his hand hanging freely by his side, his other in his pocket. She felt the urge to lace her finger through his. She looked away before she did something she would regret. Gajeel saw and smiled.
"Bunny, want me to help you?" She glanced up at him. "The dreams. I'll help you." She nodded and held her breath before she grabbed onto his hand. He didn't pull away.
"Thank you" she said.
"Stop thanking me."
She wouldn't.
When she made it home Gajeel walked inside with her. She looked over to her desk and saw the books piled on with a note on the top.
I ate your strawberry jelly filed donut.
Don't look for it.
Kill me later.
Love ya
~Gray.
Lucy smiled despite the fact that Gray ate her donut. Just that little note made her feel like she still had someone on her side. Without him and Erza she didn't know what she would do. She depended so much on them and they let her. She was spoiled and they continued to do it. They continued to spoil her. She loved them so much. And with simple things like this, she knew they did to.
Gajeel walked over and looked at the note. "Gonna kill him?" he asked. Lucy shook her head.
"I'll just eat his chocolate one." Gajeel grinned.
Gajeel sat on the couch and Lucy sat beside him. She opened a book and looked down at the steps. Gajeel read them out loud to her.
"•Set your alarm clock to wake you up 4 1/2, 6, or 7 1/2 hours after falling asleep.
•When you are awakened by your alarm clock, try to remember the dream as much as possible.
•When you think you have remembered as much as you can, return to your place of rest, imagining that you are in your previous dream, and becoming aware that you are dreaming. Say to yourself, "I will be aware that I'm dreaming," or something similar. Do this until you think that it has "sunk in." Then go to sleep.
•If random thoughts pop up when you are trying to fall asleep, repeat the imagining, self-suggestion part, and try again. Don't worry if you think it's taking a long time. The longer it takes, the more likely it will 'sink in,' and the more likely you will have a lucid dream."
He looked over at her. "Think you can do that?" she nodded.
"I want to try to do it now. Is that ok?" Gajeel nodded. "Don't leave." She added quickly. Gajeel smiled at her.
"I'm not."
"If Erza and Gray come, don't wake me up."
"Alright." Lucy looked back at the steps one last time and took in a breath.
"Will you be my alarm clock?" Gajeel grinned.
"I'll be your alarm clock bunny. Go ahead." She closed her eyes and leaned in when Gajeel pulled her to rest on his shoulder.
Soon she was gone.
~X~
She was back on the street watching as Laxus walked off with Dream Lucy. She walked after them. If the younger Natsu could see her, could Laxus?
She grabbed his shirt and watched as he turned to look at her. The dream Lucy disappeared. Laxus grabbed her hand and looked down at her with a concerned expression on his face. "Blondie?" he said.
"I'm sorry" Lucy said. Laxus raised an eyebrow. "I want to read with you more. I want to know you more. I want to be your friend, Laxus. Can I?" Laxus stared at her for a moment before he let go of her hand.
"I can't decide that Lucy. I'm not with you." He disappeared into smoke and she watched as it floated down the street.
The scene changed.
Younger Natsu was staring at her his face frowning. "Give me a break" he said. Beside him older Natsu appeared and frowned at her.
"Get over yourself." He said. Lucy clenched her teeth and threw her hand out.
"Leave me alone!" she yelled.
They disappeared.
The scene changed.
She was falling once more.
No, she was floating. When she turned around she looked down at herself being held by Gajeel. His hair was a mess and his chest was bare. Dream Lucy was curled up by his side. Asleep. Gajeel was too.
Lucy tried to reach out to him but her hand went straight through him. His eyes snapped open.
"Don't fight me"
She steadily was being pulled away from him. Turning around it was Lisanna pulling her away. She tried to grab him once more but he was too far away.
The scene moved on.
She was standing in front of a light post in the middle of the night. The light was shining down on two people. Gray and Erza was under it staring back at her.
She ran for them.
They left.
The earth started to break apart and she fell slowly.
Now she was falling again.
It hurt.
"Lucy, it's ok."
"You can wake up now."
"I've got you."
~X~
"You can wake up now. Lucy?" she opened her eyes and looked up to Gajeel's red eyes looking down at her. He was rubbing her arm and whispering words like that to her the whole time.
"I'm sorry" she said. "I can't move"
"It's alright, I'm not going anywhere."
"I can't see either."
"I'm not doing anything. Relax." She closed her eyes and very slowly her senses came back to her. She sat up and felt herself shaking. She wasn't cold. She was scared. Gajeel saw.
He got up and grabbed the covers off her bed, and the blank book from her desk as well as a pen. Walking back to her, he draped the cover over her shoulders and kneeled in front of her. "Want to write it down?" he said handing her the book. She nodded.
After writing the whole dream she closed the book and set the pen inside of it, marking her place. Gajeel didn't bother her or ask about it. He was just there for her, and she was thankful for that. Turning to him she pulled the covers tighter around her.
"What time is it?" Gajeel peered over to the clock on her wall.
"Just a little past noon. Hungry?" Lucy shook her head. She didn't feel like eating anything at the moment. Gajeel understood.
They sat there in silence for a moment before Lucy felt she had enough. "Can we talk for a moment?" She asked.
Gajeel looked over at her and nodded. "Yeah. What's up?" she let out a breath and started.
"What do you want from me?" Gajeel narrowed his eyes at her.
"What do you mean?"
Lucy looked down to her hands balled into the blanket and searched for her words. "I mean, what are we?"
"Guild mates" Lucy frowned. She honestly didn't know what she wanted but she didn't like his answer. Then again what was she supposed to expect? Yesterday had just all of a sudden changed everything? Things didn't work like that. "Lucy, I don't understand," he said. "What do you want from me?" Gajeel turned his full body to her and leaned back against the arm of the couch. "Are you trying to make something out of this?"
"No, I just… I just didn't understand why you're being so nice to me. What did you mean by you owed me?"
"I hurt you in the past and I never tried to fix that….Lucy, look." He grabbed her hand. "If you don't want me around, you don't have to force yourself. Kick me out."
"I didn't say that, stop implying things"
"I'm not implying things." He let out a sigh. "I just want to know. I just want to know what's going on. To understand you better ok?"
It was quite again.
"Can you give me that? Can you at least trust me?"
"I do trust you Gajeel" was what she wanted to say, but she couldn't. At least not right now. Gajeel let go of her hand.
"I'm sorry. I'm going back to the guild." He stood up and walked towards the door. Lucy watched him. That wasn't supposed to happen.
"Gajeel, wait." The dragon slayer froze and turned back to her. "Come back." He did and walked back over to her. She stood up on the couch and wrapped her arms around him. "I don't hold any of that against you, I promise. I swear." Gajeel held her back. "I should have told you sooner. I'm sorry. Don't leave me." Gajeel took in a breath and let it go.
"Alright."
Lucy smiled and held him tighter. "I wore your shirt"
"I see that."
"Thank you"
"I told you to stop thanking me"
She won't.
Gajeel ended up falling asleep while she looked over the books. It had been a few more hours before Gray came by and frowned at the sight of him laid out in her lap.
"What the hell happened?" Lucy pulled a finger up to her lips and hushed him. Gray raised an eyebrow. "Whatever, I'm going home. Tell Erza I came by. Good night" he left with a hand up, signaling he was leaving. Lucy watched him go and looked back to the book she wrote in when he was gone.
Gajeel stirred a little and sat up. Lucy looked over at him and smiled. He racked a hand through his hair and looked down at her with a lazy grin. "Sorry, I fell asleep." She waved him off.
"It's ok. I should too." She put the book she was reading on the table in front of her couch. Gajeel pulled her into his lap and laid back on one of her throw pillows. Lucy pulled the cover over them and leaned back against his chest.
Erza walked in and called out to Lucy. Not getting a reply she hurried into her room and composed herself when she saw she was alright. A grin spread across her face at what she saw. "Now will you look at that?" Lucy was curled up in Gajeel's arm her head on his chest. Erza tipped past them and into the kitchen. Looking into the box of donuts she saw they were all gone. A note on the inside.
Gajeel ate them.
Kill him later
Love ya
~Lucy.
Erza pouted but looked back over to them on the couch and smiled. "Guess I can forgive him"
Lucy had the falling dream again but was able to pull herself out of it. She was proud of herself when she woke up, but she new that wasn't the end of it. she still hand some time to change it. and she had help. Gajeel was there.
Gajeel was still asleep. She didn't want to wake him so she eased herself out of his grasp. Erza was in the kitchen drinking some orange juice.
"Morning" she said. "Sleep well?" Lucy blushed and sat in the chair across from her. Erza winked at her and changed the subject. "How about we go on a mission? Just me and you. Sounds good?" Lucy smiled.
"Yeah." Lucy was again being spoiled. But Erza didn't care. She didn't care herself. She was fine with how it was now. "Did you get the note?"
Erza couldn't help but laugh. "Oh I got the note."
