Characters: Sanada Genichiro, Yukimura Seiichi, a little Yanagi Renji

Universe: Anime

Warnings: Alpha Pair, spoilers for Yukimura's backstory, and for the Nationals


It's sickening. Sickening. Sickening. The way that, as he turns to look back, Yukimura falls to the floor in an almost graceful manner, like he'd planned it all along. Like, like, like he'd intended to do it. Like he was expecting it.

Sanada knows that he's saying something, barking out orders. Standard procedure. Call the ambulance. Call the ambulance. Don't move the neck. Check for pulse, count beats for ten seconds and multiply by six. Check body temperature. Are you okay, Yukimura? Are you okay? And it's all going so fast in a blur, and whenever Sanada tries to recall the event, it doesn't come back so easily. Not that he wants to remember.

It's also the first time the others have seen Sanada like that; panicked, losing his face of stone, but Yanagi knows the feeling of dread all too well as it rises up his throat to choke him. It's not like this is the first time he's seen this. And he wishes he'd never see it again.

-------

Yukimura is laughing. Yanagi is chuckling lowly. Sanada has a (very mild, mind you) smile on his face.

Okay, so maybe the fact that his name was scribbled hurriedly on the bottom of the list again was not much of a cause for celebration. Maybe his name's there at the bottom because the coach forgot him. I mean, if you were really meant to be on the team for your exceptional skill, you wouldn't be forgotten for the list of regulars. Maybe it was some sort of sick tradition for the others to see Sanada's reaction.

"But hey," Yukimura says, smiling that blinding smile of his as Yanagi mutters another incomprehensible thing under his breath. "At least you made it, right? Now the three of us are stuck together again!"

No one is laughing. No one is chuckling. Sanada's face is set in some sort of horrified relapse as Yukimura's eyes roll back up his head and he falls to the floor. Everything happens so, so painfully slow; the man trying to keep Sanada from rushing to his friend, the distant wailing of sirens from his left, the train arriving beside him.

"Yukimura?" Sanada stretches out his hand, out to the boy on the stretcher, and suddenly his whole body feels sore. He wants to go home, throw himself in his bed, clutch the medal they've won last year, the one they'll be earning again for their second win, and say that it's going to be fine and that it's never happened. It's never happened. It's never happened

-------

(It's not happening.)

"Yukimura!"

It's kinda pathetic, now that Sanada thinks about it. It first happened during winter, it got lost for a year, and comes back again, during winter, at the train station. Like a broken record, or a song set on repeat, it happens again, and Sanada bitterly thinks that he should prepare a speed-dial for 119 in case it happens again next year, during high school.

It's kinda pathetic how they're relying so much on Yukimura, as if they'll never win without him. We are Rikkai. We are kings. We can stand on our own feet. We will win the Nationals, for the third time. You've survived through a lot, Yukimura, so why can't we?

And it's kinda funny how that doesn't turn out to be the case, and the scoreboard high in the air is almost mocking as it tells them that they've lost. Yukimura says it's his fault, again. It's not your fault, he says. Not your fault. He's said that before.

Sanada mechanically hands him a towel, a bottle of water, and smiles. Because it's not happening. It's not my fault. It's not happening.

-------

"It's just an off day," Yukimura, second year middle school, says. The words he say are soft, as if he's talking to himself, but Sanada and Yanagi and everyone is there to hear. "It's nothing. It's fine. I'll get released by next month, at most, and... and we'll win the Nationals again. I won't drag you down. And if we lose, it will be my fault, not yours."


Words: 686

A/N: Aaah! I still feel that this is unfinished. Leave a review? Taking character/s requests! Akutagawa Jirou is next~!

Edit: I re-upped the first two chapters because decided to butcher them. I'm so sorry! ;o;