Disclaimer: I don't own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or its characters. I only own my OC.
A/N: Hi, guys! I'm working on a chapter a day and uploading a chapter a day, so it'll definitely get finished. I rarely finish anything I start, but I'll be damned if I don't do this one. Thanks for the favourites, reads, follows and reviews so far! It means the world to me!
DaLadyofSouls: Thanks for your review! Believe me, I intend to keep it up :D
The Silvernote: The chapters are all around the same length, so you won't be disappointed. Thank you so much for saying it's written well. Quality is something that I always strive for in my stories.
Happy reading, guys!
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~ Secrets ~
{ Chapter Two: Explanations }
"Raph, we're just worried about you!"
Raphael had been having this conversation every week for the past three months. He was getting sick and fucking tired of Leonardo sticking his beak in where it didn't belong. He wasn't willing to talk about Amelia yet. He was enjoying having her company to himself, and having someone of his own to spend time with outside of his family unit. He hated having to share everything with his siblings and Leonardo was now starting to seriously get on his nerves.
"Well, I keep telling you, you don't need to fucking worry!" Raphael yelled, "I don't bug you guys about what you all do on your nights off! I don't care what you all get up to! So, why does it matter that I like to go for a run on a Thursday night, or that I want to get out of the lair for a few hours? Why is that a fucking issue?"
"It's an issue because you've started spending more and more time locked in your room, and then you disappear for hours every week and don't tell us anything!" Leonardo shouted back, "We're worried for you! You don't talk to us about anything! If there's something going on in your head that's making you need to get away from us, you need to tell us!"
"Get off my back, Leo!" Raphael warned him, "I just go out for a run and fresh air. I get out of the confines of this fucking place, and go to clear my damn head! Why is that so wrong?"
"It isn't wrong, Raph." Leo's voice was quieter now as he folded his arms, "We just care about you. We all love you and we want to know you're okay."
"We have this same conversation every fucking week, and you ruin my night off." Raphael snapped, "Leave me the fuck alone. I'm fine. If I wanna blow of some steam by running across some rooftops, I'll do it. I don't answer to you."
With that, Raphael stormed away from his brother and up to his room. Leonardo practically slapped a hand to his face with a heavy sigh, watching his younger brother's bedroom door slam shut. Raphael was so incensed that he almost punched something, but as his mind drifted back to the beautiful blonde he'd just left on the surface, his anger started to slowly fizzle out.
No, no, no. Leonardo was not going to spoil this night for him. He'd been with a wonderful, amazing girl, who made him feel happier than he'd felt in a long fucking time. She'd curled up to him and fallen asleep on him, holding his hand. Her dainty, beautiful five-fingered limb had been clutching his rough, scaly, three-fingered one like her life depended on it. She was like a breath of fresh air for him. He loved spending time with her. So, he wasn't about to allow his stuffy older brother to make him feel bad about it.
After a brief moment to catch his breath, he sat down on his large bed, running his hands over his head. What was this girl doing to him? When she'd given him that cheeky grin after challenging him to a pizza eating contest, he'd briefly lost the feeling in his legs. When she was laying in that bed, looking so peaceful and content, his heart and stomach had lurched in a really unusual way. Was it just infatuation, or was this something else? He was so torn. What if he got the guts up to make a move and she told him that a romantic relationship couldn't work between them? What if it couldn't work because of their physical differences?
This wasn't the same kind of friendship he had with April just because of how easily Amelia had adjusted to him. There was no fear, no discomfort. Nothing. She just accepted him for what he was without fainting or screaming. She asked questions about what he liked and disliked. She wanted to hear about his family. In a million years, he'd never expected a human to be so genuinely interested in him, or so kind to him.
Frustrated, he lay back against his thick pillows and stared up at his ceiling, trying to think of the best way to handle not only his feelings for her, but also how to tell his family about this wonderful girl.
For the next few weeks, Raphael and Amelia continued to see each other every week as normal. Every time they met, it was getting more and more difficult to be around her, because Raphael's feelings were growing stronger, and stronger. With every message, every phone call, every look, every touch, and even every smile, he was finding himself falling harder, and harder for the eighteen year old girl.
As music played quietly through her apartment, Amelia lay on her couch with her back against Raphael's plastron, while he relaxed in the corner of the couch with his feet on the coffee table.
"Raph... Can I ask you something?" Amelia asked him, bringing him out of his thoughts.
"Yeah." He replied gruffly, looking at her as she tilted her head back to look at him.
"Why haven't you told your family about me?" She asked quietly, turning properly and sitting up so that she was facing him, "Are you ashamed of me?"
Raphael felt a flicker of horror rush through him as she stared up at him with those big blue eyes, which were sparkling as though they were going to fill with tears. He had no idea that she was upset about not meeting his family, and he had no idea that she thought he was ashamed of her. He stared at her for a moment, aghast.
"What the hell gave you an idea like that?" He asked her, genuinely stunned.
"I-I just thought that you didn't want them to know about me because you were embarrassed or something..." She stuttered, her eyes growing even wider, "Sorry... I just... I really want to meet your family. My family is awful, but yours... They sound wonderful, and I just..."
"It's not you..." He told her, rubbing the back of his neck, "Well... I suppose it kind of is, but it's not that I'm ashamed. We do have a couple of human friends, but... We have to be careful about who finds out about us. And, it's not just that, but if our enemies find out about you, you're in danger too. My brothers and father are protective over this secret, you know? We just want to be safe, I guess."
"I understand." Amelia whispered, clearing her throat as she reached out to take his hand, "But keeping this from your family can't be easy for you. You sound like you're a close family unit. Wouldn't it be better for them and you if you told them?"
"Maybe." Raphael shrugged, "But, I share everything with my brothers. I only have a few things that are truly mine, and your friendship is one of them. I don't want to share you with them. I know that sounds dumb..."
It really did sound dumb now that he'd said it out loud. He buried his head in his hands, shaking it in disbelief. He did not just tell her that he didn't want to share her with his brothers... That was it. He'd probably just royally fucked everything up as usual, and he was expecting her to call him pathetic, or something worse, and then kick him out. Instead, however, he heard a sweet giggle from her as she placed her hands on his bandanna clad head and lifted it from his own hands, giving him a gentle and warm smile.
"That's not dumb at all." She told him, "That's actually really sweet. But, I still think that your family should know about me. I know about them, don't I? It's only fair."
Raphael considered this for a moment. Amelia had a point. She knew a lot more than she probably should, and his family didn't even know she existed. With a deep sigh, he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he thought about it for a moment. At least it would get Leonardo off his case about where he went every week, and if his father was worried, it would give him some peace of mind too.
"Okay." He sighed, rubbing a large hand over his face, "I'll talk to them tonight, and I'll call you to let you know how it went. Alright?"
"That's great." She gave him a beautiful smile and leaned forward with open arms, wrapping them around his strong shoulders and his neck to hug him, "Thank you, so much. It means a lot to me. And I'm sorry that I thought you were ashamed of me. I should've known..."
"Nah, I kinda feel bad that you got that impression." He said as she let him go, "Anyway, I'm not ashamed of you. You're kinda cool to hang out with."
When her smile widened, Raphael's heart thundered in his chest. She looked so beautiful, and as she arched her eyebrow, he felt his stomach flip. She was like an angel. She sat back slightly and a strand of her honey-blonde hair fell in front of her face, which she quickly brushed out of the way. She was looking at him as though she couldn't believe what he'd just said to her.
"I'm kinda cool to hang out with?" She asked him, "Really?"
When Raphael nodded, she found herself blushing again and she ducked her head, patting him on the arm.
"You're cool to hang out with too." She replied sweetly, leaving her hand lingering on his skin as she briefly rubbed his forearm.
"You mean that?" He asked her as she moved her hand back to her lap.
"Yeah." She whispered, leaning forward and giving him a kiss on his rough cheek, "Now, would you like some ice cream?"
Mesmerised by the feeling of her lips against his skin, Raphael's breath caught in his throat. He gazed at her with a slightly slack-jawed grin and he managed to nod, licking his lips briefly to wet them.
"Sure."
When Raphael returned to the lair, he was met again with a rather unimpressed looking Leonardo. Michelangelo and Donatello were standing behind him, looking a little sheepish. Donatello didn't like to get involved in the arguments that his older brothers had. Michelangelo always had to make smart comments, but it usually end up with a thwack around the back of the head from Raphael. The red-clad turtle took a deep breath, held his hands up and took a step towards them all, clearing his throat.
"Look... We need to talk." He said quietly, "Where's Sensei?"
"In the dojo." Leonardo said, his expression softening, "Come on."
They all headed to the dojo where their father, Splinter, was meditating. Raphael approached him slowly, kneeling down in front of him as quietly as possible so he didn't disturb the meditating rat. He waited patiently for his father to respond to him in some way, and after a few moments, the rat's eyes opened, and he looked right at his son.
"Raphael?"
"I need to tell you all something." Raphael said in an unusually quiet voice, "It's important."
Splinter's eyes softened. His second eldest son was almost childlike; guilty expression, head bowed, voice quiet... It was very unlike him. As worry briefly settled in the pit of his stomach, Splinter reached out carefully and placed a gentle, comforting hand on his son's shoulder. He didn't like the thought of his sons being anxious about telling him things. It was almost like they feared his reaction.
"Of course, my son." He replied, looking to his other sons, "Do you want your brothers to be present?"
"Yes, Sensei." Raphael said with a nod, looking up as the others came and sat around them, "I need you guys to listen to me before you freak out, okay?"
"Raph, just tell us what's going on." Leonardo said quietly, "We've been worried about you."
Raphael sighed. He'd been so damn nervous all the way home because he knew that his brothers would probably start asking him a million and one questions before he had a chance to tell the story properly, and Leonardo would be in his face about their safety and everything else. This was his family, who he loved and cared for, no matter how he behaved around them sometimes, but the thought of being open and honest with them about Amelia was making him feel nauseous. He felt like he'd betrayed them.
"Six months ago, I saved a girl from being raped in an underpass. She was adamant that she wanted to see me, and I know I shouldn't have, but I let her." He admitted, hearing shocked gasps from his brothers.
"Raph! What were you thinking?" Leonardo asked him, shocked.
"Leonardo." Master Splinter said sternly, "Allow your brother to explain."
Ignoring the rather angry look that Leonardo was giving him, Raphael took another deep breath. He knew this would happen, but rather than get pissy about it, he figured that it would be best to just continue with his story and deal with the backlash afterwards. If he didn't get the rest of it off his chest now, he'd end up bolting, which he didn't want to do.
"She didn't scream, she didn't faint, she didn't holler... Nothing. She was the most accepting person I've ever come across. She was so damn thankful that I'd saved her that the way I looked never entered into the conversation." He told them, unable to help the small half-smile that settled on his face, "She didn't feel safe walking home alone, so I took her home. I gave her my T-Phone, which was what really happened to it. I know that she hasn't said a word to anyone about us. She doesn't speak to her family, she lives alone, she doesn't really have friends other than work colleagues, and if she told them, who'd believe her, huh?"
He rubbed a hand across his face and looked up at his father, whose expression was still very stern, which made him uncomfortable. Even though he was rebellious, he hated the thought of his father being disappointed in him. Angry, he could deal with, but disappointed? No... No, that was much worse than angry.
"She begged to see me again. And I've been going to her every week ever since." He sighed heavily, "She's sweet, she's kind and she treats me like I'm a person. She wants to meet you all so badly that I've decided it was time to tell you where I've been going for the past six months. I really like spending time with her and I haven't said anything, because I knew that you'd freak out. I'm sorry I haven't been completely truthful, but I didn't want you guys to stop me seeing her."
After a moment of silence, a soft voice cut through the quiet like a knife, and it made the red-clad turtle's chest tighten painfully.
"Raphael."
Raphael couldn't do it. He wanted to look up into the eyes of his father, but he couldn't. It hit him, as he relayed his story, that he had put his family in an unbelievable amount of danger, and the only thing that had been in his mind was his own selfish desires. Wasn't talking about it supposed to make him feel better? If so, why did he feel like a fucking traitor.
"Look at me, my son."
Raphael did, finally, lift his head to look at his father, who reached out and carefully placed a hand on his shoulder again. Splinter knew in his heart that his son hadn't meant his family any harm. He also knew that he had to trust his sons' judgement in the decisions that they made. He knew he would have to meet the girl in question in order to assess whether or not she was a danger to them, but he doubted that Raphael would have willingly or selfishly put them in harm's way.
"I would like you to bring this girl here as soon as possible so that we can meet her." He said quietly, "I am glad that you have met someone who wishes to spend time with you and who does not pass judgement on your appearance. However, we do not know if she is a danger to us or not, and as you have been dishonest about your meetings with her, you are to take your brothers' cleaning duties for the next month."
"Yes, Sensei." Raphael answered, bowing to his father before looking up at his brothers, "See. Now you know where I've been."
"What, putting us all in danger, you mean?" Leonardo snapped, crossing his arms.
"Leonardo." Splinter said with a glare, "Your brother has apologised for his dishonesty, and I'm sure that very soon, we will meet this girl, who has been incredibly kind to him. Raphael has been punished for his actions, and as such, this conversation is now over. To bed with all of you."
They all bowed to their father and stood slowly from the floor. They each turned to leave the dojo, while Raphael headed past them all with a grunt and made his way to go to his room. He wanted nothing more than to just go to bed and get out Leonardo's way for a few hours, but as he was about to make his way up to his room, he felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned to see Donatello looking at him behind those ridiculously large glasses of his.
"Leo's not speaking for all of us, you know." The younger turtle said quietly, "I doubt you put us all in danger on purpose, and while it was kinda dumb to just go and let another human in on our secret, it'll be cool to have a new face around here."
"Thanks, Donnie." Raphael muttered, nodding at his younger brother, "Don't stay up too late."
Donatello grinned at his older brother and turned on his heel to head to his lab, while Raphael began climbing up to his room. Closing the door, he pulled out his phone and dialled his old number, only to hear a very groggy sounding Amelia on the other end of the line. Her voice was just what he needed to hear right now, just to stop him from losing his temper.
"Raph?"
The red-clad turtle winced. He hadn't meant to disturb her, but she did say she'd wait up for his call. Taking a deep breath, he ran a hand over his face, feeling his own exhaustion catching up with him.
"Sorry for waking you, Amelia..." He muttered, "Uh, my family want to meet you as soon as possible. So, is tomorrow okay?"
"Tomorrow's fine." Amelia replied sleepily, "Did it go okay?"
"I gotta do my brothers' chores for a month, so I think I got away lightly considering I've been telling lies for six months." Raphael chuckled, "I'll come and get you tomorrow at the usual time."
"Sure." Amelia said softly, "Goodnight, Raph."
"Night, Amelia." Raphael replied, hanging up the phone and placing it on his makeshift night stand.
He didn't know whether to be nervous or excited. Leonardo hadn't taken too kindly to the thought of another human knowing about their existence, but Donatello and Michelangelo seemed more open minded. Amelia would be giddy as hell, no doubt, but what saddened him was that now, his secret, his friend would have to be shared with his brothers. Just like everything else.
He also didn't want Leonardo's attitude to upset Amelia either. He hoped that his older brother wouldn't be so cold towards her considering that Amelia was such a warm, accepting and kind person. He got the feeling that if Amelia felt like she'd done something wrong, she'd make an excuse and ask to leave, which he didn't want. He decided that it would be better to talk to Leonardo about that the following day.
He had a feeling that he wasn't going to get any sleep that night because his head was so full of shit. It was like a minefield in there. He was so conflicted about his feelings for Amelia that he was half angry, but half pleased that she was finally going to meet his family. However, he was also feeling very apprehensive. He didn't want his father to send her away, because he had no idea what he'd do if she was forced out of his life.
With a heavy sigh, he took off his gear and settled on his large bed, laying with an arm behind his head as he looked up at the ceiling. The next day would be make or break. If things didn't go well, it was possible that he'd never get to see Amelia again.
He couldn't bear the thought of not seeing her any more, so, with her beautiful face in his mind, Raphael settled down to try and sleep, pushing down his worries about the following night.
~ To Be Continued ~
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