A/N: no offense to Ashfur lovers. Still read it! Just pretend that Ashfur is someone else!

Ashfur plopped down on Firestar's den. Ah, first day of leadership. What should I do first? After about an hour of thinking about what he should do, he narrowed it down to two things: torture Brambleclaw with stupid tasks for stealing Squirrelflight; or sleep all day. By this time, it was already sunrise, and he decided. Time to torture Brambleclaw!

Ashfur walked out of his (or Firestar's) den. He searched the camp for Brambleclaw and finally found Brambleclaw in the nursery. "Hey Brambleclaw!" called Ashfur. "Hey can you run an errand for me?" Brambleclaw raised his kitty eyebrows suspiciously, but he had to respect Ashfur as his leader. "Sure," he said, still suspicious. "What do you want me to do?"

"Okay, this is a very, VERY secret mission that NO ONE can know about, okay?" Brambleclaw, listening intensely, nodded seriously. "Okay, I…"

"Yes?

"...Want you…"

"Yes?"

"… To look…

"YES?"

"For pink and purple polka-dotted mousies! And don't forget to catch all of them and bring them back!"

Well, he's leader so… I guess he knows best…thought Brambleclaw.

"Well…okay, I guess. Just let me ask you a question," Brambleclaw replied. "Why do you want a pink and purple polka-dotted mousie?"

"Duh! I've always wanted a pink and purple polka-dotted mousy as a pet! And don't come back until you have at LEAST twenty!"

"…Are you sure you aren't on drugs?"

Suddenly Ashfur started sweating and stared at the ground. "Uh…uh…NO! Of c-course n-not! W-whatever made you think th-that?! Of course not!" Brambleclaw rolled his eyes and stalked away to follow Ashfur's ridiculous orders.

Ashfur had a nice, though small conversation with Squirrelflight. She was still 'just friends' with Ashfur, but he knew that secretly, deeeeeep down inside, that Squirrelflight still loved him. (Squirrelflight in background: COUGHCOUGHYEAHRIGHTCOUGHCOUGH) After the conversation, he went to Leafpool's den. Having no idea why he walked in, he walked out again. But then he remembered so he walked back in. "Hey, Leafpool?" Leafpool looked up. She was writing in a pink, fuzzy journal that had the words: LEAFPOOL'S DIARY sprawled out on the front cover of the journal. "OOH! FUZZINESS IS AWESOMENESS!" cried Ashfur leaping at the diary. Before Leafpool could say anything or protest, Ashfur grabbed the diary to touch the fuzziness and instead saw three words: I Love Crowfeather! Realizing that he had read the words, Leafpool snatched her diary away and snapped, "What do you want?"

"Hehehehe! Ooh! You like CROOOWFEATHER!"

"Oh yeah? Well I know you like Squirrelflight!" retorted Leafpool.

"Oh please, everybody knows that," said Ashfur, acting like he just doesn't care.

"Well I ALSO happen to know that you're on drugs! And that you still sneak blueberry pie after Firestar banned it!"

Ashfur gasped. "You WOULDN'T!"

Leafpool smirked. "Oh, yes I would. Unless you keep shut about… my diary."

Ashfur nodded dumbly and walked out of Leafpool's den. Leafpool, seeing that he disappeared, quickly picked her diary up again and started writing about everything that just happened.

The sun was setting, and a dark tabby was coming in from the trees. "Aaaaah!! Tigerstar's ghost! Saaaaaaaaave me!!!" screamed Ashfur, quickly hiding behind the nearest cat, which happened to be Sorreltail. "Go away!" she shouted at Ashfur. "Besides, that's just Brambleclaw! And why does he have a huge box with him?" Ashfur jumped up. How could Brambleclaw catch TWENTY pink and purple polka-dotted mousies in ONE DAY?

"Uh… hi Brambleclaw!" said Ashfur, being a bit embarrassed. "Yesh, I have sho pwink and pwurple polka- dwotted moushies!" said Brambleclaw, with a box in his jaws. You could hear the squeaks of apparently twenty (or more) mousies in the box. Brambleclaw set the box down at Ashfur's feet. "There you go," he sighed. "All twenty of your pink and purple polka-dotted mousies. Go ahead, take a look." As Ashfur lifted his paw to open the box, Brambleclaw ran back to him and said, "OH wait! I have to set the fence up so the mousies don't run away." Since Brambleclaw had super super speed, in about a minute there was a strong fence that only warriors could get through. He stared proudly at his work. "Okay, you can open it now," he said glancing at Ashfur, then running back to the fresh-kill pile to get something huge and plump to eat.

Lucky for him, Brackenfur had, that day, gotten a huge, over-sized vole the size of a full-grown cat (it was perfectly healthy) and everyone was having a feast. Except Ashfur. He was too focused on his box. He opened the box, expecting a twenty normal rats, with pink and purple polka-dots stuck to them. But instead he opened the box, and found twenty mousies. Not mouses, mousies- whose fur was, well, fur. With pink and purple polka-dots and all. He stared at them. "I KNEW THAT THEY EXISTED!" he shouted. Then he fainted. The pink and purple polka-dotted mousies didn't like him… so they shot him with their laser that made kitties faint. Therefore, Ashfur was unconscious.