Musical Edd-ucation, Chapter 2
I do not own the rights of Ed, Edd, N Eddy
It was now nearing the end of the school day on which Edd's audition for the Peach Creek Community musical won over the heart of every student in Peach Creek Jr. High, including Kevin who had walked past Edd several times in the hall and said in a smooth voice, "Hey, what's going on, dude?"
Edd felt somewhat odd taking in all this new and positive attention from the other kids of the cul-de-sac. Even the Kankers were impressed in a way that they loved him so much that they would fall to the floor rather than chase him so that was a good plus for Edd.
Edd was standing in the hallway by his locker with Eddy and Ed now. It was the switching period before the last class of the day.
Edd was digging through his locker, getting his books for his next class. Eddy and Ed were digging in their lockers beside him as well but to get different things that didn't involve class: sling shots, wads of old papers for spitballs, pencils to play 'pencil-popper', papers for 'paper-poppers', and stink bombs.
Every 5 seconds, someone walked past them, giving Edd a comment or otherwise.
"Hey, Double-D!!!" quirked a couple of girls walking past.
"Hi, Double-D!!!" Sarah came past with Jimmy and got excited when she spotted Edd a few feet away, rummaging through his locker. "You were great!!!"
"You are such an amazing singer, Double-D," Nazz commented as she walked past at one point. Edd shot upright and froze while sweat poured down his cherry-red face. He managed to at one point look back at Nazz and catch her blowing him a kiss from down the hall before she entered the classroom.
"Oh my God, it's Double-D!!! He's sooo cute and he has such a perfect voice, oh my god oh my god!!!" A crazed 'fangirl' squealed as she walked by with a couple of her girlfriends. They all saw Edd and squealed in unison before they stampeded over to him and squeezed him in the center of their huddle.
"Ladies, ladies, please, you're hurting me!!" Edd gasped for breath until they finally let go of him and continued on down the hall, giggling amongst each other.
Eddy had been watching as the girls freaked out over Edd. He had a case of envy growing within him as this continued.
"Man, Double-D, how is it that you're getting so much attention for just your audition alone?" Eddy asked Edd on his newly-uncovered talent, speaking with a sense of jealousy. "And you got the lead part. Of all the other people who auditioned, you were a shoo-in pretty much. If I knew that people loved singing so much as entertainment then you should've long ago told us you could sing, we could've used it as a scam and raked in tons of cash—"
"No!" Edd humorlessly affirmed. He shut his locker door and firmly turned to face Eddy. "This is exactly why I never told or proved to anyone that I have a singing talent. You would use it for personal gain once you found out that I had another more profitable talent that people would love; I personally didn't want this talent to be run dry with your exasperating scamming like my flair with brainpower, Eddy."
"So what's this you're saying?"
"I just desire to keep my singing talent from being smudged with the negative image of scamming people. It's a talent I wish to have respected, not mocked and slighted with swindling."
At that, Edd began making his way through the crowded corridor to class.
Eddy didn't reply right away. He just followed Edd with Ed dancing lively down the hall after them.
"Can you teach me to sing, Double-D?" Ed obnoxiously asked Edd as he followed Eddy and Edd down the hallway.
"Sure, Ed, we can give it a try, I suppose," Edd replied, "when I have time off…" it was then he remembered how busy this whole activity was going to make him. He'd have no more spare time to study, do his homework, or be with his friends.
As they walked, a few more groups of girls gave Edd some flirtatious waves and giggles.
"So what gonna happen between us, Double-D?" asked Eddy with noticeable irritation. "Are you not, like, gonna be around to hang with Ed and I anymore once you leave for Broadway?"
"Well I'm not leaving for Broadway tomorrow. I'm not leaving until after Tommy has been performed."
"But you'll be busy rehearsing for Tommy," Eddy objected. "You won't have time for us anyway with all the rehearsals you'll have to go to."
"I can't back out of it now, Eddy." Edd rubbed his shoulder with unsure wisdom until he stopped walking for a moment. "Honestly, Eddy, I haven't a clue what's going to happen between us. I'm still trying to take in the fact that I am the lead thespian to Tommy. I've always loved the art of theater, but I never really had my dream goal set as becoming a Broadway actor. I always thought you had to be a known professional thespian before you made it onto Broadway. Not all this 'just audition and you're there' stuff. I got to tell you, I'm rather nervous about this. The rehearsals, the tasks required for everything scheduled to go right…it's maddening."
"Well, not having you around to think up my scams is going to be maddening, Sock-head," Eddy growled. He folded his arms and leaned back against the wall like he was angry, or he was just pouting perhaps.
This made Edd a little uneasy.
Ed then came up to Edd and lazily rested his arm across Edd's shoulders. He stood silently for a moment or two, then he bellowed into Edd's ear, "No matter what happens and where you end up, Double-D, we will always be there for you, like gravy on mashed potatoes…yum."
"Aww, thank you, Ed," Edd showed his friend some gratitude, patting Ed's hand. "Support from friends is always a big boost of confidence."
Edd looked at Eddy, but Eddy didn't speak. He just stood there, looking the other way and ignoring the girls who walked past squealing, "Hey, Double-D, you cutie-pie."
The last hour of school was very unconventional for Edd. He was getting used to all the extra attention, but yet, it was still somewhat strange. He basically already had his own fan club made up of the cutest girls in school. Nazz was constantly staring at him from across the classroom and he'd catch her looking at him out of the corner of his eye while he was doing his work. At one point, he could've sworn that he saw her blow him a kiss but he shied away from looking to see if she did.
Throughout class, Eddy and Ed were playing pencil-popper. They had broken at least a dozen pencils before the first half of class was done. Edd would hear them tapping and then smacking the pencils together and eventually he'd hear the wood snap followed by Eddy and Ed snickering about it.
Nobody paid heed to Eddy and Ed's ignorance; they were all too mesmerized by Edd. Even the teacher gave Edd a compliment: "Eddward, your performance was unbelievable. Your voice had me in tears, young man."
Edd looked up from his paper for a second. "I apologize for your tears." Then he went back to his school work.
"No, no, Eddward. It was a compliment. Your efforts were over the top, I loved it. Could you perform for us before class ends?"
Edd looked up from his work again, stunned. "Today? This class period?"
"Yeah! Why not?!"
By then, before Edd could modestly protest, everyone else in the class was urging Edd to do it: "Yeah, sing again!!!"
"C'mon, Double-D," Nazz pleaded him. "For me?"
"DO IT AGAIN, DOUBLE-D!!!" Ed obnoxiously blared like a ship's horn while he didn't pay attention and he smacked his pencil on Eddy's face and broke it on his nose.
"ED!" Eddy growled in anger and took a pencil and snapped it against the back of Ed's head. "Lumix!"
Edd saw that all unfold, keeping a straight face, not giving a single chuckle at it. "And that's why I bring pens.
"Ok, fine," Edd affirmed as he sat up in his chair and put his pen down, "but I'm only doing one verse from one song."
Everyone cheered, even though Edd's verse was only going to last for about 15 seconds.
Edd couldn't get out of this, plus, he had everyone at the tips of his fingers so he quickly thought up a short verse from a song. He ended up choosing the chorus to the song "Wind beneath my Wings".
"Did
you ever know that you're my hero
And everything I would like to
be
I can fly higher than an eagle
Cause you are the wind
beneath my wings."
As soon as he was done, the girls went nuts, making a mixed assortment of feisty squeals; the guys even whistled and applauded him as did a few people standing in the doorway who were walking past when they heard Edd's voice at work.
Ed was running around the room, laughing in his usual oafish manner. At one point, he stopped by Eddy and animatedly asked, "Isn't Double-D as good as buttered toast?"
Eddy, however, didn't answer. He ignored Ed and glared at Edd with a very jealous gaze that seemed to burn a hole in his comradeship with the new and upcoming singing/Broadway star, taking all his girls without even trying it seemed and winning the love of people he didn't even know. This enraged Eddy. He'd worked so hard to try and gain this luxury, and Edd steals it all away from him with such little effort and above it all, Edd was doubtlessly going to be rich. Eddy cringed.
The walk home was a rather tense walk. Ed, Edd, and Eddy walked together as usual. Edd was just getting barraged with attention as they left the school and even while they walked down the street, people spotted them from afar and shouted after Edd like he was a renowned celebrity.
"Gee, Double-D," Eddy mockingly began speaking, "you sure are getting tons of extra attention now. So, how do you like it?"
Eddy didn't sound very enthused about it and Edd noticed this in Eddy's voice. "I try not to let it get to my head so, it's pleasant, but I'm not meaning to get caught up in its tremors and put my head in the clouds over it."
"You had Nazz blowing kisses at you, Double-D." Now Eddy sounded somewhat angry and jealous simultaneously. "Now you can't tell me that didn't awaken your attention concerning your popularity and image: Nazz crushing on you with a public display? C'mon, Double-D!"
Ed responded to that with a loud coarse laugh while saying, "Yeah, Double-D, she likes you and she wants to kiss you and hug you and have—"
"Ed, that's enough!!! Shut up!!" shouted Eddy.
The tall boy, once he silenced, he came up to Edd and pushed his elbow into Edd's side as if to get Edd to laugh at his ripe humor. Edd only responded with tons of blushing.
"Oh dear," Edd gulped at the thought of Nazz dreaming about him that night. "What if she makes show on my doorstep tonight, Eddy?"
This gave Eddy a sudden idea: "That's why Ed and I are staying the night over at your house to aid you in case she does."
Edd wasn't truly sure if that was a good idea or if it would help in anything, but he didn't object against the idea so he replied with nothing.
When they reached Edd's house, oddly enough, there were two cars parked in his driveway. When they noticed these cars, Edd gasped, sounding as though it was something he'd never seen before. He nearly fainted.
"What's wrong?" asked Eddy.
Edd was taken aback. "My parents are…home!!!"
Immediately, Edd ran for the front door with Eddy and Ed chasing close behind him. Edd immediately threw the door open and at once, Eddy nearly dropped dead at what he heard from Edd's mother from inside the house.
Edd's mother was a tall woman with long dark-blonde hair. When they saw her, she was crying with joy, and she wept as she gave a proud congratulation to Edd in what sounded like French. Edd's mother didn't speak English, and oddly enough, Edd spoke French just as fluently as she did. They bantered back and forth without Eddy or Ed understanding a word they said, and what else was even stranger than this was that Edd never sounded like he had a foreign accent but speaking French as he did, he sounded like a native to France.
"Double-D is an alien?" Ed asked, scratching his head.
"No, his mother must be foreign or something," Eddy replied, irritated a little bit to hear Edd's voice in a different language, not knowing what Edd was saying. It only got worse, though. A minute later, a tall man in a suit, which had to be Edd's father with long blonde hair extended down to his lower back, briskly entered the room and began congratulating Edd in another foreign language that was not French and Edd fluently responded right back in the same language.
This made Eddy mad and finally, he broke out and grabbed Edd to ask him, "Double-D, what ARE you guys SAYING?"
Speaking English again, Edd explained in his normal voice but with a somber tone in it. "They were congratulating me on getting the lead role in the musical. They apparently had heard about it at their jobs over the radio. The agent was so amazed of me that he announced it on a radio station earlier today."
"But your parents don't understand English, do they?"
"They have translators at their jobs." Edd looked back at his parents. "It's a long story, Eddy."
Eddy folded his arms again. "I have time. I'm not doing my stupid homework assignments anyway, now tell me."
"Very well then," Edd sighed as he turned back to Eddy and came outside, closing the door behind him and sitting down on the front step with Ed and Eddy. "This also is another secret that I wished to keep under wraps for as long as I could, at least from the kids of the cul-de-sac. My parents cannot speak English but they can write in English. They can't pronounce English to save their lives so they stick to their native tongues. My mother only speaks French. My father speaks Finnish because he immigrated here from Finland but when he came here, he met my mother and he loved her so much that he taught himself French to communicate with her properly, thus they have been together since. So French is only spoken in this household when they are present and it is just us as a family. That is partially why I have no siblings: the language barriers in my family are a huge problem and luckily, I was smart and astute enough to learn all three required languages quickly. Yes, I speak three languages fluently. My last name is so foreign that I have also hidden that from everyone because it looks screwed up here."
Edd took one of his textbooks out from his backpack and opened it to the front page where he had written his name. His first name was there but Eddy only saw his first name, that was, until Edd ripped off a white sticker to reveal a long Finnish surname: Ykspetäjä.
"What the hell is that?" Eddy asked, looking at Edd's last name.
"Yeek-spe-ta-ya. That is how you pronounce it, though I doubt you even care about it," Edd explained the pronunciation to Eddy, though it was true that Eddy didn't care. All Eddy did was crack up about it.
"Double-D has such a messed up name!!!"
Ed laughed too, saying boisterously, "Double-D is just like Rolf."
"Got that right, lumpy," Eddy laughed.
"Shut up, Eddy," Edd pleaded. "See? This is exactly why I hid my last name for as long as I've been here. I didn't want to be classified with Rolf, either, because he's of a similar nationality as I. He is Norwegian."
Once Eddy calmed down, he asked, "Double-D, how come you don't have a foreign accent like Rolf and you speak two foreign languages?"
Edd sighed. "I learned French and Finnish at the same time when I was just learning to speak. All I spoke when I was younger were those two languages: French around my mom and when both of my parents and I were speaking; Finnish around my dad. I learned English right before we moved here to Peach Creek and yeah, for a while I did have a heavy mixed accent. I had an accent where some words I sounded French and others I sounded Finnish so I sounded funny for a while but I despised how I sounded when I spoke English and since everyone around me spoke English, I didn't want to become an outcast because I had a mixed foreign accent so I trained myself to fluently speak English as my prime language. I even trained away my accent, thus I no longer speak English with any kind of accent. I also taught my parents to write in English after I found out that trying to teach them to speak it was hopeless; thus explains the sticky notes all over the house. It was demanding and really truly arduous learning to speak the way I do today, but as you know, I succeeded quite well with my efforts because I believed I could do it."
"Rolf has competition," Eddy snickered.
Ed was impressed. "You're a half-bred alien?"
Edd hummed with irritation, slapping his hand over his face and rubbing it down with frustration until he asked, "Anything else you want to know about me while we're at it?"
Eddy shrugged. "I'm not sure. What else are you hiding?"
Out of expectation, Edd reached up, grabbed his hat, and yanked it off to reveal what he had for so long hidden away from everyone: a head of long locks that draped down to his center back. His hair was also abnormally colored: it had been dyed jet-black while he had naturally golden-blonde roots streaming halfway down his assumed-to-be black locks. His hair color looked off considering that it was usually the other way around when someone colored their hair and had black roots halfway down their hair's length above blonde dye.
"How about my hair? Would you like to know the story about my hair, too?"
Eddy and Ed were both speechless until Ed announced, "Double-D has tentacles, Eddy."
Edd was beyond irritated now. This was the first time he'd gotten a chance to see his parents longer than 10 minutes for over a year and Eddy was being a pain in the ass about it all, which pissed Edd off.
"My family does not believe in cutting hair as you can plainly see that both my parents have very long hair. I hid my hair from everyone lest they think I was weird for having long hair and adhering to my family's customs and I had it colored black because I also saw having blonde hair as a weakness considering the labels it has placed upon it within this culture. I wished to give myself a public edge: black hair under black hat with defining white stripes along the sides."
"So you tried to abandon your old culture and identity?"
Edd couldn't take it anymore. "If that's the way you wish to see it, fine. I've hidden so much from everyone for so long that now, I just see myself and ask, why did I hide who I am from the world? I am not ashamed to be me, Eddward Marian Ykspetäjä." He stood up and turned to the door, where he halted and concluded from over his shoulder, "Just promise me that you will not tell anyone about all these secrets I've told you, they are very personal to me and my family and knowing you, you'd use them for anything so let me say this once: if you use them to blackmail me, I will not only give you a thrashing but I will never speak to you again so if you value our friendship, you'd take heed in my plea. If anyone is going to reveal this stuff about me, it will be me, and they will see me as me through me and not a rumor or a lie through you." And at that, Edd opened the door, entered the house, and shut the door behind him.
A minute passed. Eddy stared at the door for that whole minute until he lastly blurted, "Fine! I have better things to do than worship your apparent stardom." And at that, Eddy walked away to his own house, leaving Ed to sit all alone on Edd's doorstep, confused and sad.
"No longer together we three be, Eddy?" Ed sobbed as he watched Eddy walk home. Ed then cried and walked off to his own house, his head hanging low with gloom, sad that his trio of friends had split apart before him only so quickly that he was left picking up the pieces.
