I don't own either D&D or Harry Potter

AN: Made some edits

Suffice to say, the people in the Great Hall reacted diffrently to Harry's sorting.

Slytherin cheered as the nabbed the Boy-Who-Lived.

Gryffindor was shocked as they had figured the savior of the Wizarding World would end up in the house of lions.

Hufflepuff, whom most were probably stoned given their name, politely clapped.

Ravenclaw followed Hufflepuff, minus the being high part, with polite clapping.

Harry removed the hat and proceeded to call it a right git. As it turns out the Sorting Hat had some "ethical issues" with some of the thing Harry had been roped into and wanted to rat to the headmaster. A wizard who had a great many names, but who was mostly called Albus Dumbledore.

Thing was, The Bard didn't not teach Harry to be a snitch. They didn't last long in the line of work he was in, and thus the Harry learned at a young age you don't rat anyone out for anything.

"I'm warning you hat, snitches get stitches." Harry threatened the hat to the confusion of everyone in the room as he sat down next to Daphne and Draco. Despite the cheers they had given him, which he could tell they did out of spite to the other Houses, Harry received mostly sideways stares from the other snakes. Not the ones he befriended on the train, just everyone else.

"I knew you would end up in Slytherin, all the best people do." Draco applauded Harry. Daphne and Tracey likewise gave nods of approval as the sorting wrapped up with the last boy going to Slytherin as well.

Dumbledore shot a spell into the air to gain everyone's attention, he spoke of how he was glad to see returning faces, as well as new ones. He spoke of how the Forbidden Forest was, in fact, forbidden. He then, for some reason, mention how the 3rd floor was off limits and those who entered may receive a gruesome death.

Now, you never tell a Bard they can not do something. They will make a point to spite you on it, and to ridicule you for whatever reason you gave for telling them the thing they were doing was not allowed.

As such when dinner was dismissed Harry snuck away from the large group of first years being lead to their dorms in the dungeons and went to the 3rd floor.

Finding it mostly empty, Harry was initially disappointed until he found a locked door. Now Harry had two choices here. He could have either A. turned around and went back to his dorm as to not break a rule on his first day at school. Or B. break into the room and see what was inside.

He made the correct choice and broke into the room by casting the spell Knock. This was one of several spells taught to him by The Bard, and one that typically gave the finger to things trying to bar your way into something.

Pushing the door open, imagine Harry's surprise when he came face to face with a sleeping Cerberus. You're going to have to imagine one as his, was one of disappointment. He had been expecting a dragon or something that was not just a massive three headed dog. He noted a trap door under the dog's paw, but was now not in the mood for adventure. Rookie mistake.

Sighing in defeat Harry closed the door and turned to try find where the hell the Slytherin dorms would be. Probably should have figured that out before leaving.

However he was faced with an obstacle in front of him. Dumbledore and the heads of the Houses were all in the hall.

"I see that my warning must have fallen on deaf ears. Might I ask why you are not currently in your dorms with your fellow students Harry?" Dumbledore spoke in a very grandfatherly tone.

"Yea." Harry replied. Silence consumed the hall as Harry's need to be a smart ass took form. One of the House Heads, a black, greasy, haired man named Severus Snape spoke up.

"Not even here for a day and already breaking the rules Potter? Such arrogance, just like your father. You are in my house and thus your poor behavior reflects on me and your peers. Well I will tell you this. I will not tolerate this type of behavior from any Slytherin, least of all from you. Am I clear." Snape lectured. Little did he know Harry completely ignored everything the man said because he seemed like a prick.

"What Professor Snape is saying, Mr. Potter, is that there are rules here. Rules that have a reason, and are for your protection." The elderly woman in charge of Gryffindor, Minerva Mcgonagall chited.

"I understand that professors, and I truly am sorry, but you see you have it all wrong. I was not up here to break the rules. I had to use the restroom and the head boy pointed me towards here. An honest mistake really." Harry used his best "Help me I'm a lost child" voice, which seemed to win over ⅘ of the present group. Snape seemed suspicious of Harry but as the Headmaster began to apologize for the assumption he knew he had lost the ability to call Harry on it.

Being dismissed, and told he was to report to the Headmaster's office tomorrow after classes, Snape was instructed to lead Harry to his dorm. Along the way Snape stopped and turned on The Bard's student.

"You may have fooled the others with your story Potter but not me. I know no one in Slytherin is dumb enough to instruct a first year student, one of their own house even, towards a clearly stated off limits hall. Now, what were you doing up there." Snape sneered.

Harry stared at the teacher and debated something in his mind. On the one hand he could come clean and hope to win favor via deception ability. Or he could be silent and just let Snape assume he was an idiot, something he was fine with. Seeing the benefits of both Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out the last thing The Bard gave him before he left.

A gold coin with the etchings of two women on it, on one side the words Fortuna Favet Fortibus. On the other side, the words Videte Bene. This was The Bards coin of Fortuna and Metis, a kind of Augury to be used when faced with a choice. Does one throw caution to the wind and let fortune favor the bold? Or does one head the words of wise counsel and keep their mouth shut.

It had served his mentor well, and it was entrusted to Harry in the hope it served him just as diligently. Giving the coin a flip Harry caught the coin and looked at what the destiny the two goddesses told him was.

Fortuna Favet Fortibus

That settled it.

"Alright you caught me. The head boy didn't point me in the most definitely wrong direction. No instead I went up there in hopes of finding the "gruesome death" but was severely let down. Now, before you go on and on about proper behavior and how to behave let me tell you this. I don't care. I am not a wizard. I'm a Bard. I have spent my entire life traveling the globe learning magic, fighting styles, stories, and all sorts of other things from the best. You called me arrogant like my father? Well I never met the man, but you are damn right I'm arrogant. I have no reason not to be. I am 11 yet I've already done things people would take entire life times to do. I've performed concerts in front of world leaders, I've done circus performances with world renowned acrobats and stage performers, I've battled ancient evils and discovered lost civilizations. I've learned all this from the best, because it is my goal to be the best. That's why I'm here, that's why that bloody hat put me in your house. Now, you can either help me with that goal, or you can get out of my way." Harry spoke with conviction and strength unbecoming of an 11 year old.

Slytherin was the house of ambition and cunning? Well no one in Hogwarts had the ambition or the cunning to match Harry, nor would they ever. His goal was not one of achieving renown in simply the magical world, he had done that as an infant. No, his was to be the best in the world, and he would make damn sure he accomplished that goal.

Snape gazed at Harry Potter for the longest time. Initially he was going to chastise and insult him, but the boy's conviction caught him off guard. The admission of arrogance and the subsequent rant he went on surprised Snape as he listened to what Potter had done. How he wanted to discredit the boy's words, to call him a boaster and a failure. But he couldn't.

Plus, he imagined the boy's words had to have some truth to them, as the Sorting Hat did place him in Slytherin.

Harry Potter, the son of his mortal nemesis and the woman he loved, was in his house of snakes. That alone was probably enough of a slap in the face of James Potter, but the fact the boy also had an ambition of this size was all the better.

So, instead of insulting and belittling Harry, Severus Snape did something he never thought he would do with a student, least of all the son of the man he hated most. He made a deal.

"If your goal is to be the best then prove it. I will hold you to the highest caliber, I will give you the tools, and I expect you to meet it. If you do not, then you will admit you are a failure." Snape spoke with a sneer. He expected to see some faltering in the eyes of Harry, but there was none to be seen. Instead Harry held out his and stared Snape right in the eyes.

"Deal." The two shook hands, and from the moment forward, Severus Snape, The Half-Blood Prince, was teaching The Bard of Hogwarts.

xxxXXXXxxx

Now, when in the Slytherin Common Room, Harry had one thing to say about it.

Tacky.

He could understand having some of the green and silver that was his house's colors around, but having consume nearly every square inch of the Dungeon? Unnecessary and tacky.

The Slytherin Dungeon looked like they wanted to be the understudies of Dr. Doom, yet lacked the money to throw computer screens everywhere. Now, Harry had nothing against that, in fact Doctor Victor Von Doom was his favorite character in all of comics. The man had ambition, money, magic, knowledge, knew what he was doing, and would not take no for answer. In short everything Harry wanted.

Don't worry though, The Bard made sure to point out that Doom did not use musical instruments and was not an acrobat to prevent Harry from going full Dr. Doom. He kept it at a safe and manageable 75%.

Harry's super villain dreams aside, the whole of the Slytherin Common Room upset Harry's much better fashion sense as he turned to Snape before the man left.

"If I am the one to hire an interior decorator can they come in and fix this place? Cause damn." Snape rudely rolled his eyes at the very legitimate question and twirled his cape as he left the room. Leaving Harry to take in his surroundings.

"Hmm, maybe I should start emulating Doom more." Harry of course meant that he should get absurdly overpowered armor and a badass cloak to match. He did not mean that he was going to build legions of Potter Bots and rule his own country.

Well at least not the Potter Bots thing anyways, ruling a country does sound fun.

"Harry, where have you been? Come on, we were just settling in." Draco called from the stairs leading to the bedrooms. Harry genuinely did not know where the stuff he brought was, and really hoped that it was in a room.

The Bard would have been very, very, pissed if it wasn't. That stuff was not cheap or easy to get. Not the Hogwarts materials, those he didn't care about at all. No the musical instruments and the other magical items Harry 'just had to have' while at school were his concern.

Luckily for Harry, his stuff was in the same room as Malfoy and Blaise Zabini, both of whom were currently writing something down with their quills. Sensing the opportunity for insult Harry stuck like a viper.

And yes, I will be making as many snake jokes as I can.

"Don't tell me you guys keep a diary? What's today's entry? Today I wore a hat that judged me as a person, but it doesn't matter because I will never be as handsomely dressed as Harry Potter." Harry did an exact impression of Draco as he spoke. Both boys stopped writing and glared at their roommate.

"I don't know if I should be impressed about the impression or furious about what you said." Draco admitted as he did not have a coin to flip, unlike Harry.

"I'm just upset." Zabini said with some frustration. Clearly he had fallen on a stick and needed it removed.

"Well then what are you doing?" Harry asked as he went over to where his, thankfully safe, trunk was. Even the dorm room was all green, black, and silver, it was ungodly offensive. Granted all the furniture and the decor was quite nice, lovely in fact, but these Slytherins had apparently not been informed on what a color pallet was.

"Writing home to our families. My father will no doubt not be surprised that I made Slytherin. As for mum? Well I can tell her I made friends with Harry Potter on my first day. You know we actually got some of the money that was meant to be yours, but well...you died." Draco rattled off as Harry opened his trunk to make sure everything was there. Instead of purchasing one of those trunks that had enough room to fit large rooms in, he and The Bard simply lined his with a Bag of Holding. Much more economical sound. Just had to make sure he didn't accidentally make a black hole. That would kill everyone on the planet. That was rather inconvenient and counter productive.

"Speaking of my money, who all got it? I imagine there would've had to have been some kind of family connection in order for that to have happened?" Harry asked as he withdrew a violin. He smiled at his favorite musical instrument, which was followed closely by the erhu. Draco was really liberal about giving away information, surprisingly so.

The boy must have figured he was being impressive. Shame really.

"Oh, well of course. Can't just give something like the Potter fortune away to common rabble. The Malfoy's got some, obviously, thanks to a connection you have with the Black family. Greengrass got a portion due to an old treaty agreement. The Bones family got a bit for, again, another old agreement. And then the rest was taken by the bank." Draco explained. Harry looked off into the distance in contemplation then shrugged. All four were quite easily rob if it came down to that.

"I really hope those agreements aren't still valid." Unfortunately for Harry, Fortuna is a double sided mistress and takes as much as she gives. I will say this though, his face when he found out what the agreements were, priceless. I actually have a picture on my wall.

Good times, good times.

"They shouldn't be, after all you were declared dead. That should have voided any contract or agreement you had." Blaise explained to Harry. It was a shame the boy was a liar, but he didn't know that.

"Well that's good. Last time I had dealings with an old agreement we and my mentor ended up having to ice skate away from a horde of Maori Ice Fairies." Harry was entirely at fault for that particular episode and he knows that.

Draco and Blaise both waited for an elaboration, or at least an acknowledgement of what was said, but they didn't get one. Deciding that pressing that matter would probably just result in a headache, Draco wisely switched topics.

"So, your…..mentor, is he like….your dad or something?" I didn't say he switched topics well, just that he did it.

"Oh no. He does not have it in him to act like a father. Older brother sure, but not a parent. Made growing up with him rather odd. Especially when you never know someone for more than six months before you move." Harry explained The Bard's very aware lack of parenting skills. The Bard tried, and Harry knew that, but he just was not someone who would be called "fatherly". Hell he wasn't even someone who would be called a "good person".

"Oh. So you traveled a lot? Sounds wicked. Ever been to France? My family owns a summer house there we visit." Draco asked/bragged.

"Yeah, I've been to France. Had to leave though, meet some nice girls while I was there though. One of whom we bumped into Canada again and I made a bet with me she will regret making. Well, initially at least." Harry said with a smirk as put away his violin. 11 years old Harry may have been, but he had always been treated as an adult by The Bard, even on matters like sex. So Harry was very aware of it.

The three boys made small talk for the rest of the night as Harry deflected any more questions about his personal life. Blaise was harder to get things out of than Draco, but even then the boy had buttons Harry could push.

xxxXXXXxxx

Now, when Draco Malfoy woke up for his first real day at Hogwarts he was expecting several things.

To make a big impression and show everyone in Slytherin he was top dog.

Convince Harry Potter to reveal more of his backstory, for both entertainment and political reasons.

Have his godfather Snape, gain a leg up on Potions class.

What he was not expecting was to see Harry doing a one armed handstand on the top of the bed post whilst bright, dancing, lights flashed around him and music played softly from a floating violin.

"Bloody Hell, what's going on!?" Draco's surprise was understandable, but still, yelling in the morning is rude.

"Practice." Harry always had difficulty maintaining concentration while casting the more demanding spells The Bards had shown him. Thus, the two came up with this routine for Harry to practice his acrobatics, and to focus on keeping his magic concentrated.

Harry continued his morning practice for another hour, taking a short 5 minutes of rest for every 20 minutes of work.

Eventually stopping, Harry refused to wear his robes to breakfast, as there was no way he was eating the most important meal of the day dressed like a nun. Instead he wore a fashionable silver short sleeve dress shirt, with the Slytherin tie, dark green dress pants, and black wingtip shoes. He figured as long as he was rocking the colors, he didn't have to wear the uniform.

"Hello Harry, sleep well?" Tracey asked as Harry sat between her and Daphne. The Great Hall was mostly empty as a majority of students were still asleep.

"I have found that to be the most suspicious way to ask someone how they slept. It always makes it seem like they did something." Harry said as bacon and eggs appeared before him.

"...I think that might just be paranoia." Tracey said as she looked at Daphne, who nodded in agreement.

"Probably, but paranoia can be a good thing. Then again, the last person who asked The Bard that tried poisoning him in his sleep. It didn't work and he had to drown the person in a toilet. It just happens." Harry totally just admitted to being raised by a murder in front of all his friends.

"What! No, that does not just happen. Who's The Bard anyways? The guy who raised you?" Tracey exclaimed. Harry, sensing this was one of the "Don't be a rat moments", acted accordingly.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He said with a sip of whatever was in his mug. It tasted like pumpkin and it was rather disturbing.

"The Bard, the guy you just mentioned."

"I didn't say nothing about nobody."

"Yes you did."

"You a cop?"

"What? No."

"Then don't worry about it." Harry dismissed his friends concern in the way he was taught.

Finishing breakfast Harry accompanied his friends to their first class, and one he was rather excited for. Largely in part due to the previous night.

Potions.