If I could make these moments endless
If I could stop the winds of change
If we just keep our eyes wide open
Then everything would stay the same

- "Awake" by Josh Groban

Chapter Two: These Moments Endless

Roy had been eager to get Edward under his command. Not only did he now have a genius to throw at whatever problems he had to cope with, he had even been commended by the Fuhrer himself for finding such an asset for the military. As an alchemist, he'd been looking forward to having such an accomplished protege to raise. Maybe he could raise Edward better than his master had done for him. Maybe, even though Edward was entering the military at an even younger age than he had, he could keep the boy from making some of the mistakes he had.

Of course, all of his hopes were swiftly brought back to a reasonably low level once he got to know Edward better. He wasn't used to dealing with adolescents, and Edward was...unique. He had the shortest temper Roy had ever seen, coupled with the impatience and cocky attitude of a genius who wasn't exactly aware that he was a genius, but couldn't understand why no one else could keep up. He was also restless and eager to prove himself and test his abilities, so Roy quickly learned that it would be courting disaster to make him sit in the office and lighten their load of paperwork.

So Edward ended up getting all the field missions Roy could possibly find. The east was still an uneasy place to live, with refugees from the Ishbal War, unrest from various border disputes, and the general unruliness of the frontier. Roy started Edward off small, just sending him to investigate tax trouble in the small town of Youswell. But when Edward returned later that evening, with the corrupt Lieutenant Yoki in tow and all rights to the town back in the hands of the people, Roy saw that it would be a true challenge to keep up with the boy's abilities.

In fact, it often seemed that Edward was desperately rushing to get his assignments done within the day. There was a sort of frantic urgency about him when he came to the office, bleary-eyed and yawning, at 8:00 sharp to get his orders for the day. Something was driving him onward, like a swiftly advancing brushfire that was always a little too close for comfort, a little too fast for an easy retreat. And he always caught the 5:00 train back to Risenpool – battered and exhausted more often than not, but always successful.

Once, Roy asked him (after an eventful morning in which he had single-handedly stopped the terrorists that had hijacked the train he'd ridden on, dismantled the bomb they'd intended to blow up the station with, and brought the train to a safe halt all by himself because the conductor had been knocked out) why he didn't take it a little slower, maybe use his extra funds to stay overnight in a hotel. Edward looked uncomfortable, fiddling with his pen (with which he'd been filling out some of his own paperwork, a rare sight indeed) and refusing to meet his superior's gaze. "I just...wanna get home and see my little brother."

Roy blinked in surprise and lowered his pen. "I didn't know you had a brother."

He still didn't look up. "Yeah...Alphonse. He's eleven. I'm gonna go get some coffee or something; I've got a headache."

Abruptly, he got up and strode out, ever so casual. Roy set down his pen and grabbed Edward's file from the cabinet in the corner. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure Edward was really gone, and flipped through the detailed information every State Alchemist was required to have on file for security reasons. Family: Parents (divorced) – Theo van Hohenheim, Trisha Elric (deceased); sibling(s) – Alphonse El-

Roy quickly closed the file and shoved it back in place when he heard Edward's voice in the outer office. He tried to act casual as he shut the drawer and returned to his desk. After all, was it really so surprising that Edward had a brother, just because he'd never mentioned him before? No, of course not, but...something was still bothering him. If it really was so important to Edward that he spend time every day with his brother, if they were really that close, then why had he never even mentioned him before? And...where had this Alphonse been when Edward was slumped, crippled, in an armchair? Where had he been when Roy had offered him a job? And why was Edward still so reluctant to talk about him?


Edward loved his new job. Sometimes, when he was bound and gagged in a chair or when his automail got busted again and he knew his research funds would go down the drain for the umpteenth time, he wondered why he'd ever wanted to do this at all. But then he would see the smiles of the people he'd helped, or he'd stumble across a fascinating book in the First Branch of the Central Library that had been out of print for as long as he'd been alive. Then he would feel an immense satisfaction with his life. He knew he'd made the right choice.

At first, he hadn't thought he'd get along with his superior officer at all. Mustang was always cracking a joke about his height, and flaunting his own successes and ambitions. But as the weeks turned into months and he grew used to his new lifestyle, he discovered that it wasn't so bad after all to work under Roy Mustang. He acted like a jerk most of the time, of course, but Edward could see how much the others under his command respected him. And when he really needed some help, Mustang somehow always managed to be there.

When he got fooled by Barry the Chopper and came within an inch of being sliced to ribbons because his automail had been detached, Mustang showed up at the last minute and roasted the nutcase like a pig. When Scar hunted him down and blasted his entire arm into pieces, Mustang came to the rescue – even though he was putting himself in as much danger, since they were both State Alchemists. When Edward took it upon himself to investigate the suspicious happenings in the military Laboratory 5, Mustang was the one who went after him, pulling him back just as the entire building collapsed. (Apparently, the foundation was unstable, which was why it had been abandoned – no secret experiments after all.)

Edward was more than a little disgruntled that Mustang was always saving him, as though he couldn't manage on his own. At the same time, it was a nice feeling, knowing that there was someone he could rely on, someone who would always be there if he needed him.

This carried on for months. Edward spent his days rounding up criminals and researching whatever struck his fancy, and his nights he spent with his brother. Even though he wasn't technically allowed to do so, he shared the knowledge he'd gleaned from books only State Alchemists had access to, and together they dreamed up grand theories and transmutations that could change the world – as they always had. They talked a lot, and sometimes they scuffled around or sparred or practiced their transmutations. But no matter what they ended up doing, those nights were the highlight of Edward's life. They left him exhausted by the morning, having had no sleep whatsoever, but there were always train rides and weekends for that. His brother was more important anyway.

Only one cloud marred the bright, cheerful horizon. Mustang kept on pressing him to take on missions farther away, or missions that would require him to be gone for several days, or even a week. But he just didn't understand. Edward needed to come home every night, so he couldn't accept such orders. Now there was always a fear tugging at his heart, because he knew that Mustang had every right to enforce his orders. He had no choice but to obey...because he couldn't quit. Not now.

"Al," he finally said one night, frowning at his mug of tea. "I...I feel like Mustang is pulling me away from you."

As usual, Alphonse didn't need to ask him what he meant. He just looked at him with his innocent, open expression and said softly, "Maybe that's a good thing."

Edward slammed his mug down on the desk, so hard that some sloshed out. He ignored it. "What are you talking about? You're the most important person in my life, Al! You're my brother. I would choose you over the stupid colonel any day!"

Alphonse was still smiling that sad, aggravatingly selfless smile that made Edward's stomach twist into knots. "Thanks, Brother. But you need to start thinking about what's best for you. He cares for you too, and he can do a lot better job of it than I can from here. Don't you think it would be better if you-"

"No," Edward snapped, getting to his feet and stalking across the room. "No. I'm not letting him take you away too. We're happy now, so let's just keep on like this for good. For the rest of my life. Forever! Nothing needs to change. I won't let it."

Behind him, Alphonse sighed.


Roy knew there was no justifiable reason he was doing it, no logical explanation he could offer to anyone who asked him *** he was doing...but he didn't care. He felt like a stalker, riding in the train car behind Edward's all the way back to Risenpool and following him stealthily home, but he had to get to the bottom of this or he thought he'd go crazy. No matter how many times he told himself that Edward's odd insistence that he be home every night and obvious evasion of every mention of his brother were just manifestations of his own paranoia, Roy couldn't help feeling there was something deeply wrong about all of this.

At times, Roy was sure that when he followed Edward back home he would discover Edward in a tryst with some local milkmaid, or that he would turn out to be a vampire who had to be nailed into his coffin to keep him from preying on the unsuspecting townsfolk. His theories ranged from the twisted to the downright outlandish, but he hoped with all his might that he just had an overactive imagination. He didn't want to think badly of the boy. So maybe his real purpose was to prove himself wrong.

Even though he'd come this far, Roy still hesitated behind a tree as he watched Edward close the front door of his little white house behind himself. What if there wasn't anything horribly wrong with Edward? What if there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything? Then he would be trespassing, betraying Edward's privacy. This was wrong.

After battling with himself for several minutes, Roy finally hit upon a way out: the Rockbells. He still remembered the way to their house, so he hurried to their front door. He didn't even need to knock; the dog announced his presence, and old Pinako Rockbell herself opened the door as he approached. Immediately, her kindly expression hardened. "Colonel Mustang. What do you want?"

Roy looked down at the diminutive woman and saw that he would have to be completely honest with her, or he would learn nothing. He let his shoulders relax with a sigh. "Actually...it's about Edward. He's unharmed," he quickly added, before she could worry. "He's at home right now. But I wanted to talk to you about him."

Pinako hesitated, then reluctantly stepped aside. "I guess you'll have to come in, then."

When they were settled at the kitchen table with tea and cookies (despite her obvious aversion to the military, Pinako was impeccably hospitable), Roy folded his hands in front of him. Obviously, he couldn't divulge every last one of his suspicions, so he started with the safest route. "To tell you the truth, Mrs. Rockbell, I'm concerned for Edward's health. He always seems exhausted; he falls asleep whenever he has a spare moment. Sometimes he even falls asleep in the mess hall. Do you have any idea...is he depriving himself of sleep?"

Pinako's frown deepened, and lines of concern furrowed her brow. "Now that you mention it...I've noticed the same thing, when I drop by on the weekends or when he's in here for maintenance. He falls asleep anywhere and everywhere. I assumed it was the military's doing."

Roy grimaced; so this was what she thought of them. "I won't deny that his job is a physically strenuous one, especially for one so young. But even with all the naps he takes, he still seems so tired, even on days when the work is light or he's in the library doing research. It only seems to be more pronounced with time. Does he...have trouble sleeping at night?"

Pinako shook her head. "That I don't know. After his mother died, I know he would often stay up late into the night researching. Reading up on human transmutation, I suppose." She blew a large smoke ring that dissipated sadly in the air. "Back then, Alphonse could usually persuade him to go to bed at a reasonable hour, but once Alphonse passed away...well, I wouldn't be surprised if-"

"Wait." Slowly, Roy lowered the teacup that had just touched his lips. "Alphonse Elric...his brother...is dead?"

She nodded sadly. "I'm not surprised he never mentioned it to you. Ed doesn't like talking about Al, not since that horrible day. He died when they tried to bring their mother back," she explained quietly. "A rebound, I think you call it."

The blood was pounding loudly in Roy's ears, and he could feel his face paling. He shot to his feet and was halfway to the door when he realized Pinako would need some kind of explanation. "Sorry – some business – I have to attend – good day!"

That was the best he could manage before he bolted out the door and started running for the Elric house. Halfway there, he made himself slow down to a brisk walk, breathing hard as he tried to think of what to do. What did this mean? When Edward had said he needed to be home for his brother...

His mind was in turmoil, and he hadn't come up with any plan by the time he reached the front door. So he just knocked instead. He counted the seconds that passed with no answer, and when a full minute had elapsed, he tried the door, which opened soundlessly at his touch. Then he set out in search of Edward.

He didn't know why he was tiptoeing through the house, or why he didn't call out the boy's name, but in the end he was glad he did. After prowling through the living room and kitchen, he heard the faint sound of Edward's voice and stealthily tracked it to the back of the house. At the end of a hallway, a door was ajar; Roy crept towards it and peeked in.

Edward was sitting sprawled in a squashy armchair with a book in his hands that he was reading by the last rays of the setting sun. He seemed to be talking to himself. "Then the guy comes up and says, 'Okay, listen here, shorty' – he called me a shorty! – 'I'm gonna give you to the count of three, and if you don't spill the beans I'll send your brains out your ears.' He looked to the side and laughed after a momentary silence. "I know! Talk about cliché. It was like he was trying to sound like a comic-book villain. And he wouldn't listen to me when I said I didn't know anything anyway, so I just beat him up a little until he apologized."

Throwing the book down, he leapt to his feet and put his hands on his hips, glaring into empty space. "I'm serious! I-" He hesitated, then scoffed. "Aw, don't give me that, Al; I swear I- YOU GET BACK HERE, ALPHONSE ELRIC!" With that, he started running around the room as if chasing someone, grinning madly. But there was no one there.

Roy drew back when Edward landed on hands and knees and started taunting thin air. It was just as if he was talking to his brother...but his brother was dead. Roy caught a glimpse of Edward's face as the boy started laughing, and it grew hard to swallow. He understood the boy so much better now, and he knew what to do. Unfortunately.