Never Let Go
Chapter One
"You don't have to close your eyes, there is room for love again, ease the pain to realize, all that love can be." Never Let Go, By Josh Groban.
His gentle touch soothed her but her heart still ached for the time that she could only dream to have with him she couldn't face the future alone in her time. There was nothing there that could ever make her feel this complete, this happy, even though she wanted more than her next breath to stay with him forever. She wanted more than her next breath to stay with him forever. She would die here in this moment just so that she would never have to leave him. to leave him would kill her all of her would die. Her tears soaked his shirt, her blood stained the expensive white silk that he wore. Neither one of them cared. She heard a low rumble from his chest, he had told her all about the behavior of his species. That low rumble that vibrated her body was meant to soothe and calm her. She wanted it to but the pain in her heart was too much right now. She held on to him with everything that she had. She let herself almost be crushed by his embrace. she didn't want to live without the feelings that he brought to the forefront when he held her.
His heart ached for her, he knew what it was that she had been thinking about. He didn't want to lose her either but their love was five hundred years too early and he knew it. He loved her, he hadn't told her yet but he did. The pain flowing from her was enough to break the walls that he had long ago dropped for her. It hurt him to feel this pain from her. He knew that this would be her last trip through time. He had to tell her about his feelings for her, he had to give her something to hold on to. He wouldn't punish her for the love that they had found. He wanted her to have something that only he would be able to give her, his heart and his soul were all ready hers. He wanted to feel at one with her to have something of her to remember her by for the next five hundred years. In the grand scheme of his life that really wasn't that long but he knew that it would feel like forever to him to know that his life would be on hold until she came back into his life again. he knew that there was nothing that would pull him out of the pain that would haunt him for the time that she would be gone from his side. He knew that he would have to survive to thrive while she was gone from him. he was here for her here and now, he would be at her side until the moment she left through the well again.
"It is all right Kagome, I am here with you." He whispered into her ear.
"Why?"
"I don't know but don't waste the time that we have with tears. Live with me burn with me, be with me." his voice rough with restrained desire and emotion.
"It hurts so much."
"I feel it to, but live here with me. don't let the pain rob us of the happiness that we can feel together in this time that we have left," he gently pleaded.
"I can't stop thinking about it Maru, it hurts so much."
"I know Kag but for me, this one last time."
"I will try you know that I have to see the others and tell them?"
"They all ready know that this is the last time that they will see you Kag. Shippou wanted them to know so they could deal with your loss in advance. They know that this isn't your fault and have been informed that you will meet them at my palace when we arrive there."
"You mean my son did that?" she pulled from him slightly.
"Yes, but Kag, you need to know something that happened while you were gone this time, come here Shippou." A waist tall kitsune came from behind them in the trees to give them the privacy they needed.
"Yes father," answered the kitsune as he walked to his mother and father.
"father?" Asked Kagome confused as she looked between them, what Shippou called Sesshoumaru told her things had changed in the month that she had been gone from here.
"yes Kagome, father. I adopted him as we talked about last year we wanted you to know that he would be safe while you were gone from us." Sesshoumaru continued to leave his arm on her waist holding her to him.
"Shippou you want him to be your father?"
"Yes, mother, I do. He cares about me and wants to take care of me like you did for me. Rin sees me as her brother and I want to be with him. I respect him and care about him. it is all right that he is my father?"
"Of course my son, I am glad that you will be cared for." She smiled as their son ran to them. She had thought it would be Inuyasha that would have adopted him but she had wanted it to be Sesshoumaru. She loved the both of them but Sesshoumaru would be better able to deal with the hyper kit.
"my son, return to the palace and tell the others that we will be there by evening meal. I need to talk with you mother."
"All right, make sure you are father, take care of him, mom." The kit smiled as he popped himself into a large flaming orange inu and ran in the direction of the palace. Kagome waited until her son was gone to look at Sesshoumaru once again.
"What do you want to talk about Maru?" There were emotions burning in his eyes, some she knew and others that she didn't expect. He was in pain at the thought of loosing her too but he was nervous too which was nothing like him.
"Walk with me from here, I want to go somewhere that is truly private to talk to you." He answered her.
"How far?" she asked him knowing the area she was in like the back of her hand she knew that total privacy here wouldn't happen.
"Do you wish to fly?" He had a place in mind for this but he did know that it would take time to get there and it was still early morning.
"Sure, where will we go?" she asked curious.
"Does it really matter?"
"Not as long as I am with you Maru." She smiled as he created his fluffy demon cloud and flew through the sky away from where he had found her. They didn't fly long until she felt a strong barrier in front of them, she knew that it was one of his, his power flowed from it. They landed gently near a blanket that had been put down in a garden, there was a hot spring near by but she was drawn to the colors of the roses around them.
"This is so beautiful Maru." The joy was shining in her eyes.
"This is all for you. Kag I would like it if you at here on the blanket with me." his voice was a simple whisper. She moved with him to the blanket and sat down in front of him. he was being so strange she knew him better than anyone had ever thought to this simply wasn't him.
"What is it Maru?"
"Listen to what I am going to say then I will let you know why we are here, all right?"
"Ok." She watched him take a deep breath steeling himself for whatever he needed to tell her.
"It is something that happens only once in a lifetime for a youkai such as myself. I know that you understand youkai traditions for I told you about them. I hope you will comprehend the sheer magnitude of what I am about to ask you Kag. I don't want this to hurt you but knowing that you are going out of my reach for so long I want to do this with you. I have found in you all that I will ever need or want. I have found in you a chance to love again, to live again. I want to ease the ache in our hearts for the time that we must be apart. I want you to know what our love can be when I find you again, my dearest."
"Maru?" Kagome was nervous watching the serious Sesshoumaru in front of her.
"Just listen to me for now Kagome, I have to do this I have waited thinking that I would be able to find away to keep you here but I can't," he paused for a moment watching her closely, she could make or break him with her answer to his question. He prayed to all that he knew that she wouldn't deny him. "Kagome, I love you. I love you more than I ever thought possible. I want you for my own for eternity. I know that you weren't meant to be here but I am grateful that you have been. Kagome, my love, would you consent to be my mate my wife for eternity today before I loose you for five hundred years?" he asked her.
"Maru?" her voice and eyes full of her love and tears," I would love to be your mate but won't the pain of being without me for five hundred years be too much for you?"
"It would give me a reason to live the next five hundred years." He put his hand on her face gently.
"You mean that you would stay true to me for that long?" she knew that once an inuyoukai mated that no one could touch him without death following it. She knew that his inner youkai would always long for completion and he would only find it when he found her again.
"Yes my love forever," he pulled her closer to him. he wanted her and needed the feeling of wholeness that he knew would only come from being one with her physically.
"You could and would deal with the pain?" she was shocked.
"Yes Kagome."
"Then my answer is yes, Maru. I would love to be your mate to have that connection to you, to feel the love that we share burning in us." She looked deep into his eyes.
"Tell me Kag, how it is you feel I can see it but I need to hear it."
"I love you Maru I have for a while but didn't think that you would feel the same." She quietly spoke.
"Well now you know I do my mate, my love. Come here as we join into the one being that we both desire to be." He pulled her into his lap.
She pushed herself deeper into him, she needed to burn with the flames of desire that they both felt when they touched. She wanted to treasure these loving moments with him because she didn't know if she would ever see him again. she didn't want him to feel the pain for so long but knew that there was no way she could rob them of this. They both needed this connection to each other, this day would have to last him a long time. She didn't know based on what she knew in her time that she would ever see him again. they deserved this for this one time they would be all that they wanted to be even though they knew that they would have to part soon.
