Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Stephanie Meyer or the Twilight Saga.
Author's Note: Thank you so much for the reviews and the support. I just wanna make two comments. Firstly, I'm kinda playing this story by ear. It's a first for me, normally I have things planned out in advance, but I guess this is some kind of new writing tactic for me, so lets just see where it goes. And since it is a new tactic for me, if I fudge it up, let me know, so at least I know if it's working for me or not. And second, in Twilight newborn vampires are described as wild with thirst, barely noticing much else going on around them for the first-some-odd year of their new life. That sound REALLY BORING. At least from the perspective of writing a character. So I'm trying to find a nice middle-ground where Gabbie is crazed with thirst only sometimes, like when she is actually really thirsty, or when there's human blood around.
Chapter Two
The First Step
For a moment, all that registered in Gabbie's mind was the complete and utter lack of pain. After the agony of the fire, it was a bliss beyond imagining, and it made her wonder if she truly was dead this time. The silence in her chest seemed to support that theory; the sound of her heartbeat, so loud and painful mere moments ago, was gone, leaving nothing in its wake but blissful, pain-free silence. If this was death, it wasn't so bad. It was by far better than the fire.
For several moments, she was content to float in pain-free bliss, but as the seconds wore on, a new kind of feeling was making its presence known. A kind of discomfort. A burning. Not like the fire, no, but still unpleasant, located in her throat, as though she were dying of thirst and trying to quench it by drinking in hot desert air.
And she was becoming aware of something else. A presence. She wasn't alone. The moment the realization occurred to her, her eyes were open, and within a fraction of a second, faster than should have been physically possible, she was off the bed and on her feet, crouched on the other side of the room. She found herself looking into the eyes of the doctor, the one who had held her hand and tried to comfort her as the fire had razed her body to ash. Within another fraction of a second, she stood straight, realizing there was no threat, and stood there looking around in wonder, content to gaze around the room.
This was the world as she had never seen it. Everything was so… clear. So defined and sharply detailed. She could see each fiber in the bedding on which she had burned alive. Each individual flake of dried blood that had bled from her body and soaked into those fibers. Each grain in the wood of the bed frame and on the floor beneath it. Even the air had a texture – each dust mote floated mesmerizingly before her eyes, highlighted by a soft rainbow of light from the lamps. Outside the bedroom window, she could clearly see the desert, even though it was late at night and they were far from the city. There were no street lamps, only the dim light of the stars and the waning moon, and yet she saw each detail as clearly as if she were looking through binoculars. She could see a small rodent sprinting across the desert as clearly as she could see the copperhead stalking it.
Again she became urgently aware of the other presence in the room, and the turned back to the doctor. Carlisle had not moved from his place on the floor. She suspected he did not want to frighten her, but to her surprise, fear was the furthest thing from her mind. Indeed, for several moments, she was simply mesmerized by the sight of him. Was this the same man who had knelt beside her mere moments ago? She tried to remember, but the memory was oddly dim, as though she were viewing it through a grimy window. Even through her pain, she had seen how beautiful he was, but now it was as though she were seeing him for the first time, with a million times more clarity. Even as she tried to figure it out, she lost her train of though when she saw the look in the doctor's eyes. He looked worried; even hesitant, as though he were wary of her. Was she still sick? Did he think she was going to relapse into… whatever she had been through?
Taking stock of herself, she saw no cause for his concern. She felt… wonderful. No, more than that. She felt strong. Alive. Powerful. As though she could run circles around this house all night and not even break a sweat. What she didn't understand is why he was there. Or, more specifically, why she was still here. She could tell that her heart was not beating; that would have alarmed her if she hadn't felt so strong and vital, but as matters stood it only confused her.
"Am I dead?" she asked suddenly, and then drew in a sharp breath at the sound of her own voice. The sound was as delicate and beautiful as windchimes in a gentle summer breeze, nothing like what it had been before.
Carlisle seemed to be waiting for the momentary shock to subside before he slowly got to his feet and answered her.
"No, Gabrielle, you're not dead. This is real. I'm real."
"Gabbie," she corrected automatically. "That's what everyone calls me."
"Gabbie," he affirmed.
She nodded, but then frowned. "I don't understand. I feel… different," she said hesitantly. "I'm not in pain anymore, but my heart… it isn't beating." As though to reaffirm this, she took her middle and index finger and pressed them to the large jugular vein on the side of her throat. There was nothing, no reassuring pulse under her fingertips or anywhere else in her body. "What's wrong with me, Doc?"
"I'll answer all your questions, Gabbie, I promise," he said soothingly. "But we can talk about that later. You must be thirsty."
The moment the word "thirsty" passed his lips, a fierce pain ripped up her throat, like scorching desert sun was burning from inside it. She clasped her hands around her throat, her eyes wide with shock as she fought to retain the sense of clarity she'd felt since she woke up.
"What's wrong with me?" she gasped. "What's happening?"
"Don't be afraid," Carlisle said. "My family came by earlier and left me something to help you… adjust. At least until we've had time to talk."
He walked toward the door and opened it, then gestured to her with his hand. "Come with me," he said gently.
She hesitated for only a moment, then followed him out of the bedroom and down the stairs, and into a grand kitchen that easily could have held the entire house she'd grown up in. She wanted to admire it, but her entire focus was on Carlisle. He had walked over to a counter that had several jugs stacked on top of it. They were large, wide and round with a handle on the side, and a narrow opening at the top with an airtight seal. Carlisle took one from the counter and removed the sealed cap with a light popping noise, and time seemed to stop. The moment the smell hit her, that sweet, delicious, overwhelming smell, every sane though in her mind was overpowered by a consuming urge to drink. Whatever was in that jug smelled so incredible she had to have it. She ripped it from the doctor's hands, brought it to her lips, and began to drink deeply. The liquid inside was cool, as though it had been removed from the refrigerator maybe a half-hour ago, but that did not slow her down. She swallowed gulp after gulp, until the jug was empty, and then she threw it to the floor and moved on to the next, then the next. She drank until there was nothing left, until she felt overly full and even a little sloshy on the inside, and while the fire in her throat had died down considerably, it was not completely abated.
"Why does my throat still burn?" she asked to no one in particular, but when Carlisle answered, she was surprised to realize he was still in the room with her. He'd been so silent, and she so preoccupied, she'd forgotten all about him.
"That's normal," he said. "It never goes away completely."
She stared at him. "I still don't understand what's happening to me. What was in those jugs?"
"Come with me, Gabbie," Carlisle said. "Let's go into the living room and talk."
Again she followed, and he led her to another extravagant room, this one decorated in light pastel colors and trimmed with decorative gold. She tried not to stare, but she couldn't help herself. It was like being in a small palace. She almost forgot about her questions for a moment, until Carlisle sat on a cream-colored sofa and gestured for her to do the same. She chose a plushy ottoman that was at the foot of a high-backed lounger, and fixed Carlisle with a focused stare.
For a moment he seemed at a loss for words, but then he smiled wryly. "You'd think, having had this conversation four times already, I'd be better at it, but each time has been different. Each person and each circumstance are different. It's hard to decide where to begin."
Gabbie felt a moment of apprehension, and she found she did not like the suspense. "Just tell me the truth, Doc. It's not like I don't know something is wrong."
Again Carlisle hesitated, but then nodded. "Very well, if that is what you prefer." He paused again. "If you'll recall, I told you you'd been in an accident. A car hit you, and you nearly died."
Gabbie nodded. She did remember. "And you said you had to change me somehow. To save me."
"Yes," Carlisle said, looking uncomfortable. "I didn't have a choice. You were unconscious. The entire left side of your body had been crushed. I couldn't save you. I couldn't even ask if you wanted to be changed, and I'm sorry for that."
"Sorry for what, Doc?" she asked, anxiety in her high voice. "What did you do to me?"
"Gabbie… I… I'm not human, Gabbie. And now, neither are you."
She looked at him blankly. "Not… human? Then what am I?" she asked. "Some kind of zombie?" That would explain the lack of a heartbeat.
"No, Gabbie," he said, looking for a moment as though he wanted to smile. "We're not zombies. We're vampires. I am. And now you are."
Dead silence rang throughout the room as she tried to wrap the word around her mind. Carlisle did not rush her. He waited, looking completely patient and at ease.
Finally, she whispered, "Vampires? Like honest to God blood drinking, soulless, undead servants of the Devil?"
"Yes to the blood-drinking," Carlisle said. "As for soulless, I don't know. I'd like to think not. And I have never 'served' anyone in my three-hundred-plus years, Devil or otherwise."
"But… I… I don't… vampires don't even exist!" she exclaimed. "Like werewolves, and zombies, and witches, it's all just nonsense! Stories! And… and…" Her eyes widened with shock. "Was that blood I just drank?"
Carlisle nodded, and Gabbie wanted to be sick.
"No," Gabbie said. "It's not possible. It's not," she added more emphatically. "You're – you're crazy!" She jumped to her feet, but Carlisle rose at the same moment she did.
"I'm not lying to you, Gabrielle, and I'm not crazy," he said firmly, but still gently. "You know it's the truth. Your heart no longer beats. You've felt the unbearable thirst. And you feel stronger, don't you? Stronger than you ever have in your life."
Gabbie couldn't deny his words, but neither could she believe him. If she were a vampire, then she was one of the undead. From what little she'd ever read on the subject, her soul was forfeit now. Her mother would be devastated, she'd never speak to her again. Her mother – her mother!
"Oh no!" she gasped suddenly. "I need to go home! My mother… she must be so worried! Does she even know where I am? How long was I… sick?"
Carlisle looked pained.
"What?!" she snapped.
"Gabbie, that's not a good idea," he said. "You can't go home anymore. It isn't safe."
"What are you talking about?" she asked, panicking again. "I can't not go home! My mother will be worried! She probably already is. I can't just not go to her. Oooooh, she's going to be so mad at me!"
She started to walk toward the door, but instantly Carlisle was between her and the door.
"Gabrielle, please, stop," he said urgently. "This is a bad idea. You could kill your mother."
She stared at him, dumbfounded. "What are you talking about?" she said, almost angrily. "I would never hurt my mother. Even though she'll probably never forgive me if I've really become some kind of soulless, undead monster – but I don't care about that. I can't just disappear!"
"You wouldn't kill her on purpose, but you would do it all the same," Carlisle said. "Remember how you felt in the kitchen? With all that blood? You couldn't think anymore, could you? You fed, and you couldn't stop until it was gone, remember? Imagine feeling that way again, but instead of a jug, it's coming from a person. Coming from your mother."
Gabbie's mouth fell open in shock, but the image was in her mind now, and she felt another bout of flames licking their way up her throat, followed by completely horror at herself.
"No," she gasped, taking a step back from him. "No – I couldn't – I couldn't do that to her."
"You don't want to, of course," he said, the urgency leaving his voice once her realized he was getting through to her. "You don't want to hurt her. But you're still very new to this life. You won't be able to control yourself. Do you really want to put your mother in danger like that?"
She took another step back. "But… she's my mother," she said quietly, sadly. "What do I do? Let her think I'm missing? Or dead? She'll be heartbroken. I can't do that to her. Ever since my dad died… she wouldn't survive it."
She saw honest compassion on the doctor's face, a sharing of her pain. "Can't you think of something?" she begged quietly. "Please?"
For a moment he took on a deep, inward look. "I – I don't know, Gabrielle," he admitted honestly.
"Please try?" she pressed again in a small voice. "I'll do anything for my mom. Please."
Another moment of silence passed, then Carlisle nodded, if somewhat regretfully. "I'll try," he promised. "But I can't guarantee anything. As vampires, we normally let go of our human lives forever. I've never known one to try to… hold on."
Gabbie nodded, although she didn't completely understand. "Thank you, Doc."
Before he could reply, Gabbie was startled by a set of headlights flashing through the windows, and with a hiss she found herself on the other side of the room, crouched down defensively.
"Who is that?" she snarled.
Carlisle held his hands out in a gesture of peace.
"It's okay," he told her. "It's just my family. I asked them to meet you. My wife – Esme – was the one who convinced me to save you."
"Convinced you?"
"I had reservations at first," he admitted. "Because you're just a child."
Gabbie hissed indignantly. "I'm not a child. I'm fourteen. I start high school in August."
Carlisle raised his eyebrows in surprised, but nodded in acknowledgement. "Of course," he said. "My apologies. Nevertheless, I thought you too young to be changed, and certainly without your knowledge or permission. I have done that once before, and I have felt the guilt of it ever since. But my wife is very gentle, very loving, and she refused to let you die."
She wanted to ask for more details, but she was more preoccupied with the people outside the house. "You said your wife was here. Who else? I hear others."
"Alice and Jasper," he said. "You could think of them as mine and Esme's children. Though we were not the one to change them, they have become part of our family as much as the others."
"Others? There are more coming?" she asked.
"Not tonight," he said. "Two of them are in Washington state, where we keep a permanent residence. And two others are honeymooning in the south Atlantic."
He watched her relax a little bit, then added gently, "Would you meet my family, Gabbie?" he asked.
"I have a choice?" she asked, genuinely surprised.
"Yes," he said reassuringly. "I may have brought you into this life, but what you do from here on out is up to you. If you don't want to meet my family, or are not ready, I'll ask them to leave."
Gabbie stood up straight, then shrugged her narrow shoulders in a show of nonchalance, a pretense neither of them believed.
"I suppose," she said. "They're nice like you, right?"
"Of course," he said, but then he clarified. "You might find Jasper a little… intimidating to look at, but I promise he won't hurt you."
With another nod from her, he opened the front door and three other vampires walked gracefully into the room. Gabbie's eyes were immediately drawn to the tall, blonde male, and she looked at him in alarm. Almost instantly she understood what the doc had meant by 'intimidating'. He had a more dangerous look in his golden eyes than the doctor, as though he was waiting for her to make one wrong move, and by the looks of him she would not survive such a mistake. Almost every inch of his skin was crisscrossed with strange crescent marks, which looked oddly like scars, although she could not imagine what had given him such injuries. He wore them like battle scars, the same way her mother's brother did, a remnant from a war that had happened before she was born.
Gabbie was aware of the other two who had entered with Jasper, but she found it hard to tear her eyes from him, in the same way it would have been difficult to turn her back on a rattlesnake while she'd been human.
"Jasper," one of the women said in a gentle, reproachful tone.
"You're scaring her," the other added.
A moment later, the intense apprehension faded, and Gabbie felt strangely soothed, though there was no possible reason for her to relax her guard. Perhaps she simply trusted Carlisle to protect her from the other male vampire?
"Gabrielle," a soft female voice said. "Gabrielle, it's okay. We're not going to hurt you. My name is Esme."
Gabbie turned her eyes to her, and was surprised to see a woman that was in every way the polar opposite of Jasper. This vampire was small, though still taller than her, and her slender body appeared softer, more rounded than the others. Her heart-shaped face was surrounded by a cloud of caramel-colored hair, and her expression was one of such warmth and compassion that Gabbie felt a lump rise in her throat, though she was surprised when no tears came to her eyes.
"Gabbie," she said quietly, her voice almost rough with emotion. "Please call me Gabbie. That's what my family calls me."
Esme smiled gently. "Gabbie then." She started to walk forward, keeping her movements slow, her arms open and extended out toward her. In her peripherals, Gabbie saw Jasper shift protectively toward Esme, but a gesture from the second female held him back.
"It's okay," the other female said quietly. "She's not going to attack her."
Gabbie didn't understand, but Esme held her focus, and when the woman was close enough, Gabbie went willingly into her embrace, not understand how she could trust this woman so implicitly, but knowing without a doubt that she could. The moments Esme's gentle arms wrapped around her, Gabbie felt the crushing weight of everything that had happened, and the implications of her new life, come down on her. Her small body began to shake, and though she still did not cry tears, several wrenching sob-like sounds came from her throat. She wanted her mother, but Esme's gentleness reminded her so much of the woman she didn't know if she would ever see again that she let Esme comfort her. Esme made gentle soothing noises of understanding, stroking back Gabbie's white-blonde hair with a gentle hand as she kept one arms wrapped bracingly around her.
"There, there," she said when, after several long minutes, Gabbie's sobbing noises began to quiet, "I know this must all be very frightening for you, but everything will be okay. You'll see."
Gabbie nodded against her shoulder, though she could not imagine how anything would be okay ever again, and tried to smile at Esme when she pulled away and held her at arm's length.
"I want to see my mother," Gabbie found herself saying. "Carlisle said he'd try to find a way."
Unlike Carlisle, Esme did not look doubtful, but nodded encouragingly. "If you want to see your mother, we'll find a way," she said. "It might not be for a while, and we'll have to take many precautions, but if Carlisle said he'll try to find a way, then you can trust him completely."
And Gabbie believed her. Already she trusted the doctor and his wife, and looked around for the doc, but realized the living room was empty except for the two of them.
"Where did the others go?" she asked.
"Jasper and Alice are waiting for us in the kitchen," she said. "They though you might like some privacy."
"And the doc?" she added.
"He stepped out," Esme said. "He hasn't fed since before we found you, and he refused to leave your side during your transformation. He won't be gone long."
Gabbie nodded and found herself smiling as she said, "You know, you're not at all what I would expect a vampire to be like."
Esme laughed, the sound like the tinkling of a bell.
"I think I'll take that as a compliment," she said, "although you, my dear, look a fright." She said it gently, and showed Gabbie a tendril of her long hair, which she saw was crusted with blood. "I can't believe Carlisle didn't give you a chance to shower. Come on, I'll show you where the bathroom is and we'll clean you up."
Esme kept an arm around her shoulders, and Gabbie went with her willingly, back up the stairs and into another bedroom, this one as lavishly decorated as the rest of the house. Attached to it was a large bathroom, the kind Gabbie had only ever seen in the home remodeling magazines her mother likes to read. It had a shower, and a separate bathtub so large she knew she would be able to lay down in it without her feet touching the other end.
She looked around in wonder for a moment, then stopped abruptly when she caught sight of herself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror that took up one entire wall. In the mirror was Esme, but next to her was a young girl Gabbie did not recognize. She was small, several inches shorter than Esme, and had a face so beautiful that it bore almost no resemblance to Gabbie's human face. Yes, it still had traces of childish-softness that Gabbie had no yet outgrown, and her lower lip was fuller than the top, and her eyes large and luminous, but all imperfection that had been present before were gone. Her skin was bone-white and free of all blemishes, and the skin so smooth it was beyond comprehension. She could not see one pore, or discoloration, not one spot of unevenness in the texture of her skin. But the most startling part, the part the drew her attention immediately, was her eyes. Before they had been pale gray, the color of slate, occasionally with hints of blue in the right light, but now they were the color of blood. A red so rich, so vibrant and disturbingly bright that she was repulsed.
"What's wrong with my eyes?" she asked. Esme and Carlisle didn't have eyes like that. Carlisle's had been completely black, and Esme's were the color of burnished gold, the way Jasper's had been.
"Don't worry, this is normal for a new vampire," Esme explained patiently. "You were just changed, and your body is still full of your own blood. Eventually they'll cool down, in about a year or so."
"And then they'll be like yours?" Gabbie asked.
"Well, that depends on you, really."
"What do you mean?"
"Remember how you said I'm not what you imagined for a vampire to be like?"
Gabbie nodded.
"That's very true," Esme said with a smile. "In fact, none of our family are. We're don't drink the blood of humans."
Gabbie frowned. "Then what do you drink?"
"We only feed on animals. As a result, our eyes are yellow instead of red. We're not sure why it causes an aesthetic difference, but if you choose to live as we do, your eyes will be the same as ours."
"And you can survive on animal blood?" Gabbie asked in surprise.
Esme nodded. "We call ourselves 'vegetarians'," she added with a smile. "Our little joke."
Gabbie smiled. "It doesn't sound so bad. Why kill people if you don't have to?"
"That's one way of looking at it. But I'll be honest Gabbie, it can be difficult for some vampires. Most, in fact. There's only one other family besides ours that we know of who abstain from drinking human blood."
Gabbie frowned at that, but Esme smiled and drew her away from the mirror. "You don't need to worry about that right now, little one. You have plenty of time to decide what you want. For now, a shower is what you need, and a set of fresh clothes. I promise, you'll feel better after."
Esme started the shower for her, and while the water was warming up, went to a linen closet near the door and pulled out a stack of plushy white towels. "Everything you'll need is here. And I'll have Alice find you something to wear. Her clothes should fit you."
She started to leave the bathroom, but stopped when Gabbie grabbed her hand. "You won't leave, right?" she said. "You won't leave me here?"
Esme gave her a reassuring smile and pulled her into a gentle hug. "I'll wait for you in the next room. If you need me, just call."
Gabbie nodded, and Esme left, closing the door behind her.
After she had left, Gabbie took another long look at herself in the mirror, swaying between pleasure and revulsion. Pleasure because she had never thought herself beautiful, and despite the eyes, now she was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Revulsion because she looked nothing like herself, and never would again. Would her mother even recognize her like this, even if she did see her again? Would her uncle and her cousins? The thought of facing them like this terrified her. Beautiful, pale, unrecognizable, with blood-red eyes and streaks of dried blood in her hair, on her face, and down her neck. Her sweet, loving, gentle Catholic mother would think she was possessed by the Devil, or had sold her soul to him, and if Gabbie was honest, she would have thought the same thing. In fact, she still wasn't completely sure that isn't what had happened.
Forcing herself to turn away, she stripped the remainder of her clothes. Before the accident, she had left the house wearing a light blue dress with long sleeves and cut just at knee, something her mother had considered proper for a young girl. Now it was almost destroyed beyond recognition. It was ripped in several places, and almost completely soaked with dried blood. She pulled it off and let it drop to the floor, then kicked off the black Mary Janes that were thankfully still intact, pulled off her black stockings, and stepped beneath the spray of the shower.
The water was cool, and while that would have revolted her before (she hated the cold), she found the temperature did not bother her anymore. If was refreshing, and the hard spray of the water felt like nothing more than gentle feathers caressing their way over her skin. She did not close her eyes, but looked down at the floor of the shower, watching the water, now tinged pink with blood, flow down the drain. The human blood she'd lost so much of was gone now, just one more thing slipping away from her.
Giving herself a shake, she grabbed the shampoo and lathered it into her hair, and quickly rinsed it. It felt almost silly to use the conditioner. Her hair was so soft now it seemed a moot point, and the same with the body wash. Her skin was so smooth that it held no traces of the blood once the water had rinsed it off, but she washed herself anyway, more for the feeling of doing something normal and mundane than anything else.
When she was finished, she turned off the water and stepped out, wrapping a towel around her body and another around her hair before opening the door and stepping back into the bedroom.
Esme was there, just like she'd promised, and so was the other female vampire, the one who'd stopped Jasper from getting between her and Esme.
"Gabbie," Esme said with her sweet voice. "This is my daughter, Alice."
Alice was almost as small as she was, though clearly older, with short pixie-cut black hair and a smile on her delicate face that was so wide with excitement that it unnerved her.
"Hi, Gabbie," she said in a high soprano voice. "I'll admit, you took me by surprise, and that doesn't happen often. I just got one new sister, but even I never thought I'd get another one immediately after!"
Gabbie gave her a confused look, but Esme answered before she could say anything.
"Don't go getting ahead of yourself, Alice," Esme said, cautioning her. "Gabbie hasn't decided if she wants to stay with us yet. She might decide to go her own way."
Alice rolled her eyes. "Of course she'll stay," she said, as though that were a foregone conclusion.
Esme opened her mouth to say something, but Alice turned back to Gabbie and stood from the bed, holding out a set of clothes in her arms. "I brought you something new to wear. I wanted to put you in something more fashionable," she added, rolling her eyes at Esme, "but Esme though you'd want something simple and modest."
Gabbie took the clothes and look at them. Alice had given her a deep-blue, knee-length sweater dress with long sleeves, a long, white collared shirt that she supposed was supposed to be worn under it, and a pair of thick, pale-gray leggings.
"Thank you, Alice," Gabbie said, "it's beautiful."
Alice scrunched up her nose, but winked at Gabbie and said, "No problem. We're going to be good friends, you'll see." And with that, she left the room, her feet seeming to dance as they carried her across the floor.
After she'd gone, Esme also got to her feet. "You're looking much better," she said. "Oh, and Carlisle wanted me to give you this."
Esme reached into the pocket of her slacks and pulled out a gold necklace chain that Gabbie immediately recognized.
"My necklace," she gasped, surprised she hadn't realized it was missing before now. Esme gave it to her, and she looked at it wistfully. It had a thin, delicate chain decorated with nothing but a tiny golden cross. Emotion welled up inside her and she looked at Esme. "My father gave this to me before he died. But why did Carlisle have it?"
"During your transformation you were thrashing around violently," she explained. "It's understandable. We've all been through the pain of it. Carlisle didn't want it to break while you – he took it off and kept it safe until it was over."
Gabbie set down the clothes Alice had given her and replaced to necklace around her throat, happy to have something from before.
"It suits you," Esme said with a smile. "I'll leave you to get dressed. And Carlisle is back. When you're ready, would you like to join us in the kitchen?"
Gabbie nodded. "Okay."
Esme left, and Gabbie quickly dressed and pulled on her shoes before following her.
Down in the kitchen, she found Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Jasper seated around an ornate kitchen table, and they looked up at her when she entered the room. She felt self-conscious when she saw Alice eyeing her still-damp hair, and pushed it back over her shoulder before she took a seat at the head of the table that seemed to have been reserved for her.
For a moment, there was only silence, and Gabbie had the sense that Carlisle was preparing himself to tell her something. She, however, found herself growing more anxious as the silence drew out, and finally blurted, "What up, Doc?"
Carlisle grinned for a second, then said, "Gabbie… As I've already mentioned, we don't live here in Phoenix," he said. "We have a house up in Washington, in a town called Forks."
She nodded. She remembered everything that had happened and been said to her with complete clarity since the moment she'd changed.
"So you know we're only here temporarily," he continued. "We're leaving at the end of the week."
Gabbie froze. "You're leaving me?" she asked, stunned.
"Well, that's what we wanted to talk to you about," he said. "If you'd like, you are welcome to come with us. We have a large house. There's more than enough room for you. In fact, once we're finished with Edward and Bella's cottage, we'll have another extra room, so –"
"Leave Phoenix?" she said. "What about my mom? Am I just supposed to leave her too?"
"It's not forever," Esme cut in with her gentle voice. "But if you come with us we'll be able to help you adjust more easily to this life. We'll be able to help you. If you choose to stay here –"
"I'll be alone," she said sullenly. The idea frightened her, as much as she hated to admit it. She was so strong now, and immortal; she couldn't imagine what she had to be afraid of. But the idea of being left behind with no one, and unable to go home, was more than she could bear. "I'll go with you," she said, although with no joy at the prospect. "And when I'm ready… when I can control myself, I'll come back."
Jasper gave Carlisle a look she didn't understand, and she felt another burst of irritation.
"What?" she asked, directing herself toward him for the first time.
He raised an eyebrow at Carlisle, who shrugged, then turned to fix her with his predatory gaze.
"Gabrielle – Gabbie – you do understand, don't you, that it could be a long time before you're in control enough to see your mother again?" he said. "I know my father promised her would try to help you, but I don't think you have a complete grasp of the situation."
"Well, then explain it to me," she said bluntly. "I'll never understand if nobody tells me."
"Very well. The first problem is that it will be a long time, and I mean years at minimum, before you gain enough self-control to be around humans," he reiterated. "If you were older, that wouldn't be as much of an issue, but you're fourteen. Years from now, even centuries from now, you'll still be fourteen. When you do eventually become controlled enough to see your mother again, you won't have aged a day."
Gabbie bit her lip, which held its form against her razor-sharp teeth. She did see the problem. "I didn't think of that," she admitted. Stuck forever at fourteen. The idea made her want to weep again. "I won't ever grow up," she said wretchedly. She supposed it wouldn't bother her so much if she looked like some of the other fourteen-year-olds she knew. Some of them we're already developed and could easily pass for eighteen. She, on the other hand, had always been what her mother called a 'late bloomer'. Sometimes she met people and they thought she was still twelve. And now she was stuck like this. Forever.
As she absorbed this fact, she heard Jasper talking to her again, and forced herself to focus on what he was saying. "When vampires are turned," he said, "it's generally understood that they leave their human life behind. No one tries to go back and pick up where they left off because it's impossible. You're changed now, and it will be extremely difficult to hide that fact from humans, especially from your family."
Gabbie thought of her mother, her loving mother, who had given birth to her and raised her, even after her father was gone. Who had stayed up with her late into the night when she was sick. Who had helped her with her homework, cooked her meals, made every birthday special. Fed her and clothed her despite not having much money. And now she would spend the rest of her life not knowing what had happened to her. Her mother wouldn't know if she was alive or dead. She would spend day after day, night after night, waiting, wondering, grieving, hoping… It made Gabbie want to scream and cry and destroy thing. She saw Jasper tense, as though he could read her intentions, and she tried to control herself.
"I… I can't," she said, her voice sounding strangled. "I just can't." She looked miserably at Carlisle. "Don't you understand? It would kill her. I can't do that. And you promised you'd help me."
"And I will keep my promise," he said. "Jasper just wants to make sure you understand the situation. How difficult it will be. And how, even if we do find a way, it will just be delaying the inevitable."
"What do you mean?" she asked.
It was Jasper who answered. "What he means is that even if we do find a way for you to see your mother again, it will only be temporary. Like I said, you won't age. She'll grow old, everyone else in your family will grow old, but you won't. Even if it were safe for us to bring her to you tonight, you would only have a few years with her, at most, before it would become too dangerous. We aren't supposed to let humans know vampires exist. We can't risk drawing attention to ourselves."
Again, Gabbie nodded, though she didn't understand how such strong immortal beings could be bound by such rules. She allowed the problem to stew inside her mind for a few minutes while the others waited, then said, "So, the way I see it, I need to learn to control myself around humans – or human blood – as soon as possible. Preferably within less than a year." From the corner of her eye, she saw Jasper giving her a skeptical look, but she ignored it, looking ahead at nothing in particular.
"Then I'll be able to see her again," she went on. "Even if it's only for a couple of years, it's better than just vanishing off the face of the earth. And then… well, I'll have to think of something. But I'll worry about that later."
"It might be best," Carlisle added, "if we come up with some excuse for your absence in the meantime."
Now Jasper was giving Carlisle a look that clearly said he couldn't believe his father was going along with this lunacy.
"Carlisle –"
"I know, Jasper," Carlisle said sadly. "But Gabbie has made her decision, and I promised to help her."
Jasper stared back and forth between the two of them, then cast an appealing glance at Alice and Esme. When neither of them said a word, he made a sound of disgust, then stood from the table and walked out of the kitchen. Alice gave Gabbie an apologetic look, then went out after him. A few moments later they heard the front door open and shut.
"Is he angry at me?" Gabbie couldn't help but asking. The last thing she wanted was that scary looking vampire mad at her.
"Not exactly angry at you," Carlisle said. "More likely angry at me, for going along with what he considers a risky and ludicrous plan."
That angered Gabbie. "Well, I'm sorry if I love my mother too much to just let her think I'm dead," she said heatedly. "Or missing. Is it so bad to want her to know I'm alive and well, even if we won't have much time left together?"
"Of course not, sweetheart," Esme said, taking her hand. "Don't worry about Jasper. This is just new to him. He's had a lot of past experience with newborn vampires, and he's never seen one try to hold on to their human life."
Gabbie frowned. "So he's upset because I'm… weird?"
Carlisle and Esme chuckled. "No, not weird," Carlisle said. "Just not what he expected."
Gabbie couldn't really imagine what he had expected, but decided to move on. "You were saying something about giving my mother some kind of excuse for my absence?" she prompted.
"Yes," Carlisle said. "Something to let her know that you're alive, even if she can't see you right now."
"Like… an illness?" Gabbie suggested.
"Maybe," Carlisle said. "It's a good option. By now you've been missing for three days."
"What about the scene of the accident?" Gabbie asked. "There had to have been blood everywhere."
Esme gave her a regretful look. "The scene was discovered by humans not long after we took you. We didn't have time to clean it up. The local police force has already cased the area."
"So… my mother knows I'm missing, and maybe knows I was the victim of a hit and run," Gabbie said. "Couldn't we just let her believe I'm in a hospital being treated for my injuries?"
"That might work," Carlisle said, "if you were still injured. But to look at you now, no one would know. And I can't imagine your mother wouldn't want to come visit you."
Gabbie frowned. "Could we make it look like I'm injured? Like some kind of special effects makeup or something?"
Carlisle raised an eyebrow at her. "Well… it's possible. I'm not sure how far makeup would get us. For as much blood as there was at the scene, we'd have to come up with some pretty convincing injuries."
Gabbie shrugged nonchalantly. "How hard can it be? The Hollywood people do it all the time."
Esme laughed at that, and even Carlisle couldn't help smiling.
"If we're going to go that route, then we'd need to put you in a hospital. Preferably a small, private hospital with an isolated ward, far away from the other patients."
"Right," Gabbie said. "Can't be too close to human blood." She thought for a moment. "What about my mother? When she visits, she'll be close to me. I'll be able to –" she stumbled over the words for a moment "– smell her."
"I would recommend not breathing at all in that scenario," Carlisle said.
Gabbie looked at him as though he'd lost his mind. "Excuse me? Did you say to not breathe?"
"You don't technically need to oxygen," Carlisle said. "We could probably hold our breath indefinitely if we had to. I think the only reason we continue to breathe is out of habit. That, and for our sense of smell."
For a moment Gabbie was speechless, and looked at Esme for confirmation. The older vampire nodded, and added wryly, "It also helps when we want to talk."
Gabbie couldn't help but grin at that. "Okay, so option one, we dress me up, do my makeup, put me in a hospital, and I just hold my breath while my mom visits me, and… then what? What about Washington?"
"Well, I am a doctor," Carlisle said. "With many credentials, I might add. As your physician, I could have you moved to another hospital. Any hospital. For instance, one equipped for long term care for coma patients."
A coma. Gabbie thought about the look on her mother's face if she found out she were in a coma. The idea made queasy.
"I don't think I want my mother to think I'm in a coma," she said. "I mean, I'd want to be able to talk to her. To call her, eventually, from this supposed hospital I'll be staying in."
That made Carlisle pause. "Yes, I can see why you'd want that," he said gently, "but keep in mind that there are no easy answers here. Short of some kind of horrible disease and an extended stay at the Center for Disease Control, I can't imagine any other alternative, and you mother would still worry about you just as much."
"Could we do that?" Gabbie asked. "In theory? It's better than a coma. At least I'd be awake to reassure her, even if it's only over the phone."
"That depends," Carlisle said. "If you mother knows that you were the victim in that hit-and-run, then that's what we'll have to go with. If not, then our options are more open."
"How do we find out?" Gabbie asked.
"I'll take care of that," Esme said, patting Gabbie's hand. "I'll stop by your house tomorrow night. Find out how much your mother knows."
"This would be a lot easier with Edward," Carlisle said ruefully.
"I can handle it," Esme said. "I'll take Alice with me."
Gabbie was confused by this exchange, but was distracted when, from the corner of her eye, she noticed outside the sky was beginning to lighten.
"Dawn is coming," she said, pointing it out to the other two. When they said nothing, she looked at them quizzically. "So… what do we do?" she asked. "Is there some kind of coffin room in the basement?"
To her surprise, both Carlisle and Esme began to laugh, the lighthearted sound slightly perturbing after the intensity of their conversation, but Gabbie couldn't help smiling at their mirth.
"What?" she asked, grinning at them in confusion. "What did I say?"
"Nothing, sweetheart," Esme said, her shoulders still shaking with mirth. "It's just… It's been so long since we've had a new vampire in the family."
"What do you mean?"
"There's no coffin room," Carlisle said. "The sun won't hurt us, I promise. That's just a myth."
"Then… do we just sleep in normal beds?" she asked.
"No. We don't sleep," he explained. "At all."
Gabbie was stunned. "At all?" she asked. "Like, not at all? Never? Ever?"
Carlisle nodded. "I haven't slept in three-hundred years, so yes, I'm going to say never ever."
Gabbie stared at him in disbelief. "And… the sun really won't hurt us?"
"No," Esme said. "Although we still can't go out in it. At least not where any humans can see us."
"Why?"
In answer, Esme took her hand and led her out through the glass back door out onto the veranda. Gabbie went with her trustingly, although as the sun crept further and further over the horizon, she couldn't help but feel a little nervous. Carlisle, who had followed them out, wrapped one strong arm bracingly around her shoulders, and Esme did the same thing from the other side. Slowly, bit by bit, the sun began to rise, and as the light of the dawn crept across the desert, inching closer toward them, Gabbie tensed. When she finally felt it on her skin, she winced, bracing herself for pain, or burning, or to burst into flames, anything like what she'd seen in the movies.
But there was no pain, nothing except a shimmering of bright lights being refracted and cast off her skin, as though she were some kind of human-shaped prism. Light shimmered and reflected off every surface around her. Startled, she looked at Esme and Carlisle. Their faces were, if possible, even more beautiful in the light. The sun glowed off them, making them blaze like glass torches. Gabbie knew that she must look the same as they did, and for the first time, she thought she had found something that proved they weren't soulless creatures, born for and of pain and darkness. There was beauty in this new life, if she was open to seeing it.
