I sat in my car in front of Booth's apartment building and checked my makeup in my rear-view mirror. I wasn't necessarily a vain person but I wanted to check that my mascara hadn't ran whilst I was crying. Booth couldn't know that I was crying because of him.
A few minutes later I let myself in with the spare key I found in a fake rock, honestly he is an F.B.I. Agent and he keeps a key to his apartment in an obviously fake rock.
I found him in the bathroom, in the bathtub wearing a beer helmet and reading a comic. I shut off the blaring music. I ask him why he didn't let me know himself and he replies that he was just following protocol. Doesn't he care for me the same way I care for him? We argue, as per usual.
He gets mad at me, he stands up and argues that he took a bullet for me. I argue back that I would have gladly taken that bullet and then I go and demand an explanation as to why I wasn't informed, he promises to get me one. All the while I am, how did Angela once put it?, checking him out. He sits back in the bathtub and I begin to leave. I make it to the living room when I hear him. "Temperance."
Oh no, this cannot be good he never uses my real name. I turn around and notice that he is now covered up with a towel, I raise my eyes and stare into his. I couldn't decipher what they held.
"Yes, Booth." I sure as hell wasn't going to make this easy for him.
"That wasn't all you came here for was it?"
"No" Damn he could read me like a book, I quickly averted my gaze towards the floor. He walked over to me, lifted my head and looked straight into my eyes.
"What did you come over for?"
"I can't do this Booth."
"Can't do what?"
"It doesn't matter anymore."
"If you came all the way here, when you could have just phoned, then it is clearly important."
"Booth, I just wanted to let you know that I'm glad your back."
"Temperance, tell me the truth, you can't lie to me." Oh great, now he's gone and done it, well if what he wants is the truth then that's what he is going to get.
I looked away once more, "Fine, you want the real reason!" I was beginning to yell, ugh he makes me so furious sometimes.
"Yes, I would like to know the real reason as to why you broke into my house and then barged into my bathroom."
Great, just flipping great, we were arguing for the second time in the space of five minutes. Time to calm down, "First of all, I never broke in I used a key, which by the way are you stupid? That rock is so fake!" Aww Brennan, not a good move, continuing to yell at him and then telling him that he is stupid right before confessing to him how you really feel.
"It works, no one has broken in yet. Anyway stay on track, you didn't come here to lecture me on home safety, that's my job." Now he was making jokes, not helping Booth.
"I'm sorry, I came here to you tell that…" Good, I was finally talking to him instead of yelling, "…I wanted to tell you that… I couldn't bear it when Cullen told me you were dead." He just stood there and looked at me patiently.
I continued, "And it wasn't because I had just lost my partner or my friend, it was because the man I cared for had died taking a bullet intended for me and I never got to tell him how much I really cared for him. It was because I never got to tell him how much I …" I trailed off I couldn't do this.
"You never got to tell me what?"
The tears were threatening to fall again and I couldn't speak.
"Temperance, talk to me, please." He wore a worried expression, I couldn't tell if he was worried about me or what I was going to say.
I choked back the tears, "I didn't get to say that I'm in love with you Seeley." He just stood there looking very did I come here? Why did I just say that? For being a supposed genius, I am a huge idiot. I couldn't take it any longer so I began to head for the front door when I felt a hand grab a hold of my wrist.
"How long?"
"A while." He let go.
"Why didn't you tell me before?"
"Because I thought my life would…" I searched my brain for the best fitting word, "… my life would suck without you in it. I couldn't lose you, and when I did I was proven right. My life completely sucked. For the past two weeks I have been totally miserable. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have told you how I felt. Now things are never going to be the same again. I have to go."
I had reached the front door this time when, "Temperance, please wait."
"What for?" Although I stopped and turned around, I was exhausted and I didn't think I could take much more today.
He had walked over and was now standing right in front me. He cupped my face in his hands and spoke, "For this." He kissed me. He gently brushed his lips against mine. I didn't protest so he deepened the kiss. After what seemed like forever I pushed him away.
I whispered, "Seeley, I cant do this. I'm sorry."
"Temperance, please don't run from this."
"I have to go, I cant risk losing you yet again." I left him standing in the doorway, ran all the way back to my car, got in and drove away as fast as I possibly could.
I drove and I drove, I didn't even know where I was heading. All I knew was I couldn't go back to my apartment, the Jeffersonion, the diner, I couldn't even go to Angela's. I couldn't allow Booth to find me, I wouldn't know what to say to him. The only thing I knew was that I wanted him, but more importantly, I couldn't have him.
I was cursing myself for going to see him, I was cursing myself for allowing him to touch me, to kiss me, oh dammit I wanted him so much. What have I done, I stupidly, in a state of anger ,went to see him and now as a result I might lose him forever. I drifted back to that kiss, his hands softly grazing my check, my hands running through his hair. I lost myself in the moment and unconscientiously shut my eyes. All of a sudden I heard a car horn blaring, my eyes snapped open. There was a car heading straight for me, I swerved, I wasn't going to stop in time. I narrowly missed the car but I didn't see the tree. BANG!! I woke up, I saw blood on my hands, it wasn't coming from my hands, where was it from? I looked down, there was a branch protruding from my abdomen. I thought of Booth, "I'm so sorry Booth!" I spoke to no one and then blacked out.
