[[Two days later]]


The shower looked fine when Tony turned it on, but just as he was stepping in, the spray turned blue.

Hmm. "Uh: Jarvis? We got a dead smurf in the plumbing?"

"No, sir. Mr. Laufeyson placed blue food-coloring in the showerhead. In ice."

Not bad on a day's notice with only a couple of hours alone in the house. Tony showered without even waiting for the water to clear all the way, because a little dye had never killed anybody, then threw on sweats and went out to the living room still toweling off his hair.

Loki was standing stiffly beside the couch, pale and pinched and hardly breathing.

"Congratulations, Bambi: You have successfully committed a spankable offense. Assume the position."

Loki melted with relief, sighing, shoulders dropping. He unzipped his pants and bent over the arm of the couch – but it took a minute; his hands were shaking.

"You know, I figured you'd test me," Tony said as he went and dug the paddle out of the cabinet. "But I was expecting something a little less, y'know, spectacular. Call me some names or something."

Loki's shoulders rippled – a bent-over shrug. "Either you meant what you said, or you didn't."

"Mm. Kudos to you for having the balls to check." Tony was close enough to see that Loki was breathing now. "Now let's see. You got three the other day, but that was just a test run. This is the real deal. So... five?"

Another shrug.

Hm. Tony needed the assistance of a shrink here, because he suddenly knew there was something significant about Loki refusing to participate in the sentencing process. Phrases flitted through his mind about children owning their behavior and powerlessness and that kind of thing, but he didn't want to stand here too long puzzling it out because Loki was waiting for him. "Okay, five. You ready?"

Nod.

He hit lightly, so lightly it probably didn't even hurt, until the last stroke, which he delivered with a fair bit of zest. The guy had to have some punishment.

Loki yelped, then stood up frowning. "That last startled me," he explained, as if he expected to be laughed at.

But Tony just shrugged. "Sorta like my water quality this morning, I guess."

Loki huffed – almost a laugh, maybe? Then he grew very serious. "I won't make a habit of mischief. I only-."

"Wanted to test. I get it." Loki nodded – and Tony realized that this might be the clearest communication they had had, ever. Loki was talking frankly – or at least nodding yes or no – so it seemed like a good time to clean up some outstanding issues. "By the way," he said. "In addition to pranking, allow me to mention another thing that'll get you whacked." Loki's patented look of worry creased his face, but he didn't shut down or flee, so Tony went on. "You finished the milk again this morning. Don't get me wrong, you're welcome to eat whatever, whenever... but the polite thing to do when you use something up is to order more. You don't put empty containers back in the fridge – you throw it away, and tell Jarvis we're out. I don't want to find any more finished milk cartons in there, mmkay? They don't do a body any good."

Loki's frown deepened. He looked puzzled. "But I've been doing that all along."

"Yeah, I know."

There was a long silence. When he spoke again he sounded tense – almost urgent. "What else have I been doing wrong?" he said. "And-, and why didn't you tell me?"

Until now Tony had been pretty good about being compassionate where Loki was concerned, but now he found himself getting a little prickly. "I have no idea why. Since after all you're such a big fan of constructive criticism." Oops, the sarcasm had kicked in now and it wasn't stopping. "It's not like you'd ever, oh I don't know, chuck me out a window if I ran my mouth. And these days it's certainly not like you'd break down and piss yourself."

Another long silence. Tony started to feel bad. "Okay, sorry. That was a low blow, and-, and pretty fucked-up. Sorry."

"Why apologize?" Loki flashed a wide, unhappy smile. "How many times must this be explained to you? Nothing you could possibly do to me would require an apology; I have no rights for you to violate."

"Look-... stop."

"You can say anything you like to me. Be as cruel as you want to be. You can beat me, too – really beat me, not just go through the motions of it. You can set me to labor that's taxing as well as tedious, dress me in worse than your old rags – come, you act like you don't know what to do with a slave at all!"

The dig about his clothes was really the last straw. Old rags for some of his favorite t-shirts? "Okay, now that's enough," he said with authority.

Loki spread his hands and made a deep bow. "This slave begs you to cut out its tongue if it has offended you, Master," he purred. "This slave is-"

"SHUT. THE FUCK. UP." That got silence. They glared at each other.

Loki broke first. He turned away and ran both hands over his hair. "What?" Tony pressed him. "What's the problem?"

"I don't like that I've been displeasing you," he explained, soft now but unsteady. "I need to avoid doing that. You could do anything to me in retaliation."

Tony sighed. "No, actually, I couldn't."

A bitter laugh. "Thor wouldn't stop you. He wouldn't like it, perhaps, but he would not interfere."

"Stop being an ass, Bambi. I mean I couldn't because I couldn't. The things you're scared of are just... not even on the table. You just have to trust me."

It was a while before Loki responded. With just a helpless head-shake.

Tony sighed. "Okay, well, I get it. Trust takes time, right?" As bad as the talk was going it was still better than nothing, so instead of letting Loki flee the room he went ahead. "And you know what else trust takes?"

"What, Stark?" Weary as anything... but he'd said Tony's name. And even turned to make eye contact. Progress!

"It takes consistency. What did I tell you would happen if you gave me a nickname I don't like?"

Loki's jaw dropped.

"That's right. Rules are rules – I know we've discussed not using the M-word. Drop your pants."

A brief, almost childish scowl crossed his face, but he bent over the couch again without arguing.

"Five again." He hit a little harder this time, because clearly the last set had had no effect, and afterwards he planted a hand hard on Loki's back to stop him from rising. "Now, say you're sorry. When you do something wrong, you're supposed to apologize."

"I'm sorry."

It was a rote apology and not very satisfying. "Sorry for what?"

"For using the M-word."

"And more broadly?"

"More broadly...?"

"For getting pissy with me about this whole fucked-up situation. It's not my fault. Do you get that?"

"Yes."

"Say it. In your own words – and I'd better believe it, or you'll spend the rest of the weekend lying here getting your ass paddled. Maybe I'll even build a machine to do it, save myself the bother." (He could, actually.)

Loki took his time – long enough that Tony started to wonder whether he might refuse to cooperate. He hoped that didn't happen. He'd had no intention of butting heads... but he definitely wasn't about to butt heads and lose. Fortunately, though, Loki did the smart thing. "I recognize that it's not your fault I'm in a precarious and miserable position," he said at last. "I apologize for spewing anger in your direction."

"Thank you." Tony let him up. "Good boy. Apology accepted. What do you want for lunch?"


TBC.

Next chapter will have some Thor. Expect it Thursday.