Author's Note: I didn't intend for this to get so long, but it took on a life of its own. This was going to be a two-shot, but this chapter got insanely long, so I broke it up.
Disclaimer per usual – I do not own Star Wars or any aspect of the SW universe; just a fan with an idea. No profit here, just fun for me.
Racing down the hallway behind the medics and the stretcher, Rey's mind is reeling. Seeing Poe covered in blood like he is took her breath away in the worst possible way. As they arrive in the medbay, Leia is coming in. She asks what happened, but Rey can't speak.
Chewie and BB-8 both start telling her; luckily, she is one of very few people who can understand them both. Unfortunately, all they can tell her is that they were ambushed, and that something hit Poe in the head before he could take off from Endor. She looks over at her 2IC, and the blood everywhere aside, what troubles her is his absolute stillness. Poe Dameron is rarely still. A foot or hand always tapping, always in motion somehow.
Her eyes turn to their young Jedi, and she can't pretend not to know the look on her face. She's almost entirely certain that she had the same expression on her face watching Han being encased in carbonite all those years ago. Rey stands just behind the doctors, arms wrapped around her midsection, eyes wide with fear and sadness and abject helplessness, and Leia knows her pain all too well. BB-8 now leans into Rey's legs, and Leia is reminded of R2, the little droid appearing almost human in his desire to comfort.
Before she can go over to her, Kes Dameron skids into the medbay wordlessly. He is frantic, and Leia is hit by another memory. Her father - not Anakin Skywalker, but Bail Organa. That's who she thinks of when she sees Kes. A man who raised a child he adored, taught, and encouraged to be more. "Kes."
He turns to her, his face ghostly white. "Leia, is he…"
She realizes what he is asking. "No. They're working on him now."
"What happened?" Her old friend sounds broken, terrified. She explains what little they know, and he replies, "What hit him? How?"
"This." A small, agonized voice makes them turn, and Rose stands there where Finn, now standing directly behind her, just put her down. Her face is streaked with tears, and in her shaking hands, she holds out a large piece of twisted metal. The blunt side has blood on it. "One of the ones shooting at us must have hit my X-Wing as I was taking off. The odds of it shearing off and ricocheting the way it did, at the right moment and angle to hit him, may actually be incalculable. It was in the footwell of his cockpit."
Leia takes it, passing it to a nurse nearby, who takes it to show the doctors, just so they know exactly what happened. Leia looks back over at Rey, who still stares at Poe's still form and now has tears streaming down her face. Kes notices too, and he goes over to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
Rey hasn't been able to tear her eyes from Poe. They are methodically cleaning the wound to his temple, and they're using a portable scanner on it. They'd quickly cleared his neck, removing the collar, but when she saw the doctor frowning at the scanner, the tears began. The feel of Kes's arm around her shoulder made the dam break completely. She turns into him, finally breaking off her staring. She buries her face in his shoulder, sobbing, and she clings to him. He fully envelopes her in his arms, and for a moment she feels safe.
He murmurs, "Is he still there?"
She nods and whispers back, "Yes, but barely."
"That's good enough for now, Little Jedi." He holds her even tighter, and she's once again grateful to finally have the father, the parent, she feels she has spent most of her life seeking. It's a makeshift family, but for a girl who grew up alone, living in a fallen AT-AT in the Jakku desert, it feels oddly right. Makeshift works for her, and what would be temporary for some is perfect for her forever.
The doctor, the one who usually looks after Poe (Rey reflects that she's not happy that he has a "usual" doctor), comes over, a serious expression on her face. "Rey, Captain Dameron, we have him stabilized."
They both nod, and Rey asks, "How is he?" She peers around the doctor, and she can see through the screens that the nurses just moved over that they're changing him out of his flight suit and into some soft cotton pants over a catheter. They have some monitor leads on his chest, so once he's dressed, they just pull a light blanket up over his torso. He also has a line in for fluids.
The doctor sighs. "He lost a fair amount of blood, because head wounds bleed a lot. For now, though, his blood volume is all right," she pauses, "His brain activity on the scan is lower than I'd like, but it's there. There's a lot of swelling, and he has a bad concussion. We have bacta on it, and we'll keep it on, changing it every half hour. We lost some of our more advanced equipment when we lost the Raddus and our medical frigate, but honestly, what we have works just as well, it's just a little more manual."
Rey nods, and Kes squeezes her shoulder. He asks, "He hasn't woken up, has he?"
The doctor shakes her head. "No. I don't expect he will for a while. Give the bacta time to work and give the swelling a chance to go down."
"How long?" Rey's voice is soft, and far more broken than Kes or the doctor likes.
The doctor tilts her head, looking at the distraught young woman closely. "Probably a day, maybe two or three. But…"
Rey nods, staring at Poe. "It's possible that he won't, isn't it?"
Kes stiffens, and the doctor frowns briefly, cringing. "Yes. It's highly unlikely. Maybe a five percent chance, tops, but yes. It's possible. But Rey?" The doctor waits for her to look up. "Don't borrow trouble. I have no doubt that he'll come back to you. Talk to him. Do your crazy Jedi mind-talking thing. Make sure he knows you're there. He'll come back."
Rey nods, tears coming to her eyes again. The doctor reaches out and squeezes Rey's hand in her own. "I'll get them to find you a comfortable chair, because I know you won't leave him."
Rey nods. "Thank you, Doctor."
"Can you find two?" Kes asks.
The doctor nods. "I'll see what we can do."
With BB-8 close on her heels, Rey heads over to the bed as Kes thanks the doctor and then explains to the others what is going on. She takes Poe's hand in hers, stroking her thumb over the back of it. She leans over, pressing a kiss to his forehead just above his left eye, the only part of his forehead not covered with a bandage.
She catches a whiff of bacta, but she also catches the smell of blood; leaning back, she sees that there is still some blood matted in his hair and down his neck. She hears someone clear their throat and she looks up to see a nurse, a sympathetic look on his face, holding out a bowl of warm water and a soft cloth to her.
She takes it, softly murmuring her thanks, and she carefully cleans the blood from Poe's neck, face, and hair. By the time she finishes, Kes joins her and the male nurse returns with a chair for her. "We're still finding a second one for you, sir," he notes to Kes before leaving with the now-bloodied bowl of water and the cloth.
Finn and Leia join them. Rose hovers nearby, wringing her hands and still sniffling. Finn hugs Rey to him. "He'll be all right, Rey."
Rey nods. "I hope so." She sinks into the chair they brought her, curling up in it and leaning towards the bed. She rests her head just above his hip, her fingers twining in his, and she focuses on the steady rise and fall of his chest and on the quiet buzz of him in the back of her head. She thinks at him, "Sleep for now, but then come back to me, Flyboy."
Rose watches, pain ripping through her heart. When her sister died – and she doesn't blame Poe for that, knowing that the dreadnaught would have tracked them through hyperspace and killed them all – they all seemed to just appear. Rey is like a sister, Poe a protective big brother, and Kes a surrogate father. Finn is…Finn, and wonderful. And so many of them are in pain because Poe was keeping an eye on her, protecting her. Finn is over by Rey, so Rose slips out, guilt eating her alive. She heads deep into the heart of the base, fully intending to hide for as long as she can.
Finn turns from Rey and Kes after telling them both to call him if they need a break. He fully intends to come in and out anyway, but he's certain that neither of them will take him up on it. He scans the room for Rose, but she's gone. He's worried about her; she'd been so upset before, but it's clearly not her fault. Poe did his job as leader of the group. He says a soft good-bye to Rey and heads out, determined to find Rose and make sure she's all right.
The hours in the medbay drag by, with the nurses changing the bacta, as promised, every half hour. After watching them three times, Rey offers to start doing it for them. They let her at the doctor's insistence. Leia sat with them for a while, but she left some time ago, taking BB-8 with her, to try to figure out where the bad intel on the Endor meet up came from. She's worried that their spy is either compromised or dead. Neither is a good thing, but at least the spy has no idea where they are located right now.
It's late in the evening; Kes left to get them some food, though she doubts that she'll be able to eat much. Poe still buzzes very softly in the back of her head. It's constant but unchanged, which, despite what the doctor said, scares her. Except to do the bandage changes and one trip to the refresher, she hasn't let go of his hand since she sat down in her marginally comfortable chair.
Kes returns, a small plate of food for her in hand. He also is changed into what look like soft pants and a pullover shirt, something more comfortable than his work clothes from before. He also has a small bag, which he hands to her along with the food. He explains, "I ran into Leia; she had Lieutenant Connix go with me to your quarters and get you some sleep clothes. You also have some blood on your arm. I thought you might want to go clean up a little."
"Thank you," Rey says softly.
She stands, but before she can go to the refresher in the medbay, she leans down and kisses Poe's forehead again. She thinks, "I'll be right back," at him, and she reluctantly releases his hand, not wanting him to feel alone. She knows it's silly, but it bothers her.
"I'll stay right here, Little Jedi." Kes takes Poe's hand and settles into her vacant chair. "I'll even keep your seat warm."
She leans down and hugs him. "Thank you, Kes."
He hugs her back with his free arm. "Of course, Little Jedi."
As she heads to the refresher, she has to smile to herself when she hears Kes say, "Kid, that girl loves you a hell of a lot." Kes pauses, and Rey can't help but keep listening. She almost wishes she'd stopped, though, when he adds, "You need to marry her. Now, kid. Life is way too short to wait."
She hurries to the refresher, tears threatening again. When she's safely inside, she looks down at her right hand, spinning the ring, Poe's mother's ring. From what Rose told her, a wedding ring, at least on Yavin, goes on the left hand, but Rose had also smiled happily and said, "But on your right hand, it means love and commitment, especially with his mother's ring!"
Rey has gotten used to the ring on her right hand, clinking against her lightsaber and against the controls on the Falcon. She looks at her bare left hand, stretching it out. The tears then fall, as she thinks about being his wife. About becoming Rey Dameron – about having his name. The tears fall because she thinks about him not ever waking up to even ask her – or maybe even for her to ask him. She did initiate their first kiss, after all. She shakes her head, deciding that she's being ridiculous – "borrowing trouble," as the doctor put it.
She mumbles, "Only a five percent chance that he won't wake up." She then washes her face in the sink and changes into the clothes Kes brought her. A few moments later, she emerges, hair loose and face cleaned and free of tears. She returns to find Kes trying to eat with his free hand.
He looks up at her, and despite her efforts to clear her face, she realizes that her reddened eyes and the way she continues to fiddle with her ring must be dead giveaways, because his own eyes widen. He sighs. "Did you hear what I said to Poe, Little Jedi?"
She blushes and looks down at the floor. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop."
Kes puts his plate aside and stands up, releasing Poe's hand in order to envelop Rey in a tight hug. "I'm sorry, Little Jedi, I shouldn't have said that."
"No, it was fine." She shakes her head, but she buries her face in his shoulder. Then, she whispers, "I don't know if he even wants that. We've talked about children, but not about marriage."
"Rey, there is no doubt in my mind that he wants to marry you. I know for a fact that he wants you to have our name." Rey looks up at him in surprise. He releases her, and she takes her seat, entwining her fingers with Poe's again. Kes crouches next to her, patting her knee.
She looks at him. "How do you know that he wants me to have your name?"
Kes shrugs. "Every time we start working with a group of new recruits, at least one will make a big deal about the fact that neither you nor Finn has a family name. I've lost count of the number of times I've said 'Just Finn,' or 'Just Rey.' The same is true for Poe. It makes him almost irrationally irritated, and after one of the sessions, he said to me that he should just tell people you're 'Rey Dameron' to make them be quiet." He smirks. "And to be honest, I think he thinks it would also dissuade new recruits from hitting on you."
She had been blinking in surprise, but now her brow furrows in confusion. "What do you mean – what is hitting on someone?"
Kes laughs and shakes his head, coloring slightly. "Making an advance, expressing…sexual interest."
"Oh." Rey says, peering up at Poe. But then what Kes said sinks in. "Oh!" Her eyes fly back to his.
He chuckles. "One of my favorite things about you, Little Jedi, is that you don't even notice what they're trying to do. If Poe thought it bothered you at all, he'd have put a stop to it. Finn, on the other hand? He puts them in their place. That young man is as protective as my son is – it's probably also why Poe has been able to manage some level of restraint on the matter." Kes straightens and pulls his chair closer to hers, propping his feet up on the unoccupied portion of her chair.
She smiles faintly at the thought of Finn being Poe's enforcer, and she also smiles at Kes's move, loving the casual ease that has grown between them over the last few months. Kes reaches down and hands her a small bowl of fruit and a small piece of bread. "I know you won't eat much, but try, Little Jedi. You need to take care of yourself, too."
She complies, eating most of the fruit and part of the bread. When she's done (and he's clearly satisfied with how much she ate), he takes the bowl back, setting it on the floor. He pats her knee again and settles back in his chair. She marvels again at what it feels like to have a father, and she pings a thought to Poe, thanking him for letting her borrow Kes now and then. Usually, that kind of thought would earn her a warm wave of emotion in response, but he remains silent, the buzz staying low.
She settles back in her chair, too, her mind wanders. Then, out of nowhere, she blurts, "What is a pick-up line?"
Kes, who had been taking a sip of water, nearly spits it all over Rey. He chokes slightly, finally swallowing, and then he looks at her like she's crazy. "A pick-up line? Where did you even hear that?"
Surprised by his reaction, she motions her head to Poe. "When I was outside brooding after you hurt your shoulder, Poe found me and said something like 'what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this,'" Kes snorts at that, and Rey smiles and goes on, "When I gave him a look not entirely dissimilar from the look you're giving me right now, he said he guessed that he needed to explain pick-up lines to me. But he didn't yet."
"Leave it to my son to try to cheer up his own girl with a cheesy line. Little Jedi, pick-up lines are generally bad, awkward attempts to introduce yourself to someone you're attracted to, usually in a social setting. In the social context, they're usually clumsy, no matter how smooth the delivery, but in a casual context, generally done as a joke, they can be amusing. Hence his attempt to use one with you." He pauses, looking fondly up at his son. He quietly adds, "He loves it when you smile."
"I love it when he smiles, too. His eyes light up and he gets little crinkles in the corners of them."
Kes nods and quietly offers. "His mom's eyes did that, too."
They slip into comfortable silence then, and she realizes that Kes fell asleep in the chair. He doesn't wake up when the doctor comes over as Rey changes the bandage the next time. The doctor uses the portable scanner again, and this time, she smiles instead of frowning.
She whispers to Rey, trying to let Kes sleep, "Leave it to this one to go fast. The swelling is way down, and his brain activity has improved, even if just a little. I'm even more sure now that he'll be fine, Rey. And I think that's enough bacta changes. Just finish that one and leave it until the morning. And get some sleep. You look exhausted."
Rey smiles a full, genuine smile for the first time since Endor, but then she shrugs. "I've gotten used to curling up next to him. I don't sleep well if I'm not with him."
The doctor studies her for a moment, and then she points to the side of the bed next to the chairs. She never tells Rey expressly that she can climb up there, but instead, she says, "Just mind his head and the monitor leads."
Impulsively, Rey wraps the surprised doctor in a quick hug. "Thank you." The doctor just smiles and shakes her head, walking away with a chuckle.
Rey goes to a small cabinet and she pulls two soft blankets from it. She covers Kes with one, dropping a kiss to the top of his head. She spreads the other one over Poe's right side, moving his right arm to rest on his midsection. She crawls up next to him on the bed, thankful that it's a decent size. She curls into his side, covering them with the blanket and once again taking his right hand and entwining their fingers. She rests her head on his shoulder, and in moments, she surrenders to sleep.
The sound of soft voices penetrates Rey's head, and her eyes slowly blink open. She glances at the one window in the medbay, and she's surprised to see the soft light of mid-morning. She'd slept for several hours. She sees the doctor talking quietly with Leia and Kes on the other side of the medbay.
She closes her eyes again, focusing on the rise and fall of Poe's chest. Their hands are still wound together, and she snuggles closer to him. Reaching out with her mind, she realizes with profound relief that his buzz has intensified significantly, almost back to normal. He still seems to be unconscious, but she can tell that his mind is approaching what she's used to in terms of constant thoughts and movement.
A moment later, he shifts, and his hand squeezes hers gently. Her eyes fly open, looking up at his face. His eyes are moving under still-closed lids, so she thinks at him, "Flyboy? You in there?"
It's silent for a moment, but then she nearly whoops with joy when he thinks back, "Where else would I be, Beautiful?"
She moves quickly, moving to her feet next to the bed and motioning the others over. His eyes remain resolutely closed, but he shifts again in the bed. Kes, Leia, and the doctor arrive at the side of the bed, and Rey murmurs, "He's in there. I just talked to him." She leans down near his ear, retaking his hand and saying, "Come on Flyboy. Time to open your eyes." Kes gasps when he sees Poe's eyes, though closed, moving rapidly beneath his eyelids. Rey squeezes Poe's hand. "Poe, Dad is really worried about you. Please open your eyes."
It's not lost on Kes that Rey said "Dad" as opposed to "Kes" or "your dad." The small thing makes him grin, but he sets it aside for now, taking Poe's other hand. "Listen to the Little Jedi, kid. We both need you to open your eyes. Otherwise you're going to have to spend even more time in the medbay, and I know how much you hate that."
His eyelids flutter, and Leia rolls her eyes. "Trust that to work. Dameron, you really are a pain in the ass."
Rey and Kes both chuckle at that, and Poe mutters groggily, "Thanks, General," as his eyes finally blink open. "How did I get here, and how long have I been out?" His eyes track around the room until they find Rey.
Rey's knees go a little weak at the sound of his voice and the relative clarity in his eyes, but she holds onto his hand and leans on the bed to stay upright. "BB-8 flew you home, and it's been almost a full day."
He blinks again. "A full day?"
Kes answers this time. "Yeah, kid. A full day."
Poe turns his head to look at his dad. "I'm sorry, Dad."
Kes furrows his brow. "Why are you sorry?"
"For worrying you." His eyes go from Kes, to Leia, landing back on Rey. "What happened, Beautiful?"
She hops up on the edge of his bed again, and he scoots over a little to give her more room. "What's the last thing you remember?" She exchanges a look with the doctor, who gives her an encouraging nod.
He closes his eyes for a moment. Keeping them closed, he says, "Ambushed on Endor, Rose got to her X-Wing and laid down cover fire for me to get in Black One," he pauses, furrowing his brow and opening his eyes, looking back at Rey. She nods in encouragement, and the doctor takes some notes. "Then I did the same, laid down cover fire as you got in the Falcon. I gave the order for us to leave, reached up to close my canopy, then…nothing until now."
Rey takes a deep breath. "We're pretty sure that a shot from the people attacking us clipped Rose's wing. A piece of shrapnel sheared of and ricocheted straight at you."
Poe's eyes go wide. "It hit me? What were the odds of that?"
Kes interjects, "Rose used the word 'incalculable.'"
The doctor steps away and returns with the chunk of metal in her hands. Poe starts to sit up, so Rey helps him, pulling him upright while Kes leans down and raises the head of the bed. He leans back. The doctor hands the metal to him. "That nailed you in the temple, as far as we can tell. You're damned lucky that you seem to be all right, Commander." The doctor turns to all of them. "I want to do a few cognitive tests and pull his lines."
Poe grimaces at that, shifting uncomfortably. "Yeah, I'd be good with that."
Rey leans down, pressing a kiss to his mouth. She pulls away after a moment, pressing her forehead to his. She thinks, "Do what the doctor says, Flyboy, or she won't let you out of here."
"I know, and I will, Beautiful." He thinks back.
She pulls back, smiling at him and ruffling his hair. She looks up at the doctor. "If you clear him, can he leave?"
"Probably, but he'll be off duty for a while." The doctor nods.
Before Poe can protest, Leia interrupts. "Yes, he will. Off duty until the doctor approves."
With a huff of defeat, Poe says, "Fine."
Rey and Kes both laugh, and Rey presses a kiss to his forehead again. "I'll go change and get you some clothes, too."
"Thanks, Beautiful." He gives her a rueful smile.
When Rey gets back, he's perched on the side of his bed, still shirtless and in the pants they'd dressed him in the night before, and he's almost bouncing. Rey laughs and shakes her head. "Now there's my Flyboy." He grins as she approaches, so she says, "I assume you're cleared to leave?"
He nods. "Doc said I'm doing fine." His face falls a little. "I'm shaky, though. I don't like that at all."
"I told you it'll go away soon, Commander." The doctor joins them. She looks at Rey. "It'll probably be another day or so before he's completely steady again. Otherwise, he's probably going to have headaches for a week or two – if those get too bad, or if he seems disoriented or confused, I want you to come straight back here. Do not wait." She turns back to Poe. "And you. Enough with the head stuff."
"Yes ma'am." He nods solemnly.
The doctor rolls her eyes and waves him off. "Go."
As the doctor leaves, Rey moves closer to Poe, and he moves his legs apart enough for her to stand between them. Now that she knows he's all right, she moves close and wraps her arms around his neck, pressing herself to him. His arms go around her, and he can feel her relief and lingering anxiety. She trembles in his arms, and he just holds her close, letting her cling to him until she's ready to let go.
He thinks the last thought at her, and she thinks back, "I'll never be ready to let go."
That makes his breath hitch slightly, and he whispers, "I won't either, Beautiful."
"I was so afraid that you wouldn't come back to me. The doctor said…" She swallows a sob, unable to finish the words.
"Shh. I'm all right, Beautiful. We're all right." He soothes her, running a hand through her hair, which she has down and loose for a change.
"You have to stop scaring me like this, Poe."
He pulls back, a serious expression on his face. "I'd love to promise you that I will, Rey, but you know I can't. And you can't promise not to scare me, either. We both know that this war will get a lot worse before it gets better. We both know that you'll probably have to face Kylo again. Hell, what happened on the Raddus proves that even being 'safely' on the bridge isn't particularly safe."
She sighs. "I know." Something Kes said the night before pings through her mind. "Life is short."
"That it is." Poe gives her a funny look, because he suddenly feels a wave of nervousness from her. "Rey? Are you all right?"
"Yes," she says softly. She takes a deep breath and asks, "Can we get married?"
He furrows his brow, blinking a few times. "What?"
