The Painted Woman
January 27, 1865 (Patient log: Alice Pleasance Liddell): Some mentally disturbed people may have been victims of the witch-hunts. People are evil and they declare so by seeking out my staff and more importantly my patients that wish to interact with civilized life. I'm finding it harder and harder in sending my patients out to practice their social skills; I've also grown aware by the large population of males that live within the Clover Towers with Alice along with Vivaldi. Vivaldi is a stronger individual and can situate herself with the male class and has not had any buffs with her male neighbors; besides loathing everyone and everything. Alice will be a different case, she does not understand the world around her and is gravely naïve. My fear lies within human monstrosities and the sexual deviants. My biggest fear is for outsiders targeting my patients and overpowering them due to their sickness – this fear also lies at the root of my own building with said male population.
Alice has spent the last two days sheltered with my cook/assistant, Gray Ringmarc along with Vivaldi Dupre. This progress has pleased me greatly and I may grant her tower leave if she continues to adept and learn that the world around her is a vile place with vile men and no one should be trusted. I believe on her first run I will send her out with Vivaldi to acquire female toiletries, and personal knit-knacks. Upon the second I will send her off with Mr. Ringmarc to the drug store down the block. Possibly the third trip I will send her by herself to pick up the groceries at the butcher.
The insane are viewed as insensitive wild animals. Alice is different, I believe. (End: Log Two)
Alice waited patiently within the ticking mind of Julius' office. She crossed her hands over each other, and pressed her back firm against the surface of her chair that was offered. Alice was an inquisitive girl, that pondered abstract thoughts and let her eyes linger curiously around the environment of the office, not a thing was misplaced nor a speck of dust kissed the solid surface of oak furniture; the atmosphere made her feel content and she basked in the unfamiliar sensation of home.
Within this office was a wide range of hobbies and bobbles that called for her attention. The insides of clocks spewed its' springs and cogs, several cases of oil were stacked neatly upon one edge of the office room desk.
On Julius' cherry-wood finish desk sat an impressive collection of ballpoint pens and folders that were categorized by names that Alice was not grown familiar with, not yet; Alice has yet to meet the rest of the residents, besides Vivaldi that the cook introduced her to.
The room faired a few degrees colder than any other room within the tower, the room itself barely looked like it should be inhabited and was more destined to reside within a museum rather than a doctor's study. The air was stale and the currents were closed shut; Alice had an engrossing urge to stand up from her spot and open up the windows to let whatever London weather had to offer today; partly cloudy with a chance of chirpy townsfolk that passed by the bustling windowpane.
Alice took the moment of silence, she indulged in the fact that life will coexist even if her father found the faults in it. Alice was a foolish heart, she was a dreamer, and she told stories that seemed unbecoming to her father; she was expected to be punctual, she was demanded to change even if she never wanted to acknowledge the idea of mandating her life. When she was told to adapt to the idea of corsets and heels, Alice turned her nose at the change. After some bickering with her older sister, Alice finally caved and her father subsided his petty judgment.
Alice loved her father dearly, or so she thought when she glowered at the currents from the windowpane, making out silhouettes of people that passed by. She snickered and thought she had to love him. Women are supposed to smile, be pretty, and never admit that they give into emotion or temptations. Women are supposed to lay on their backs for a man, give birth to how many children a man demands, and cook and clean while a man supplies; this social ethic belittled Alice, the idea made her sick to her stomach. She was a woman and she was going to be pleased by it.
There was a rather large frown that cut the grain from her face and the doctor noticed once he finally entered his room, slowly closing the door behind him; Alice didn't seem to notice but instead stared in interest of whatever the windowpane showed her. It wasn't till Julius spoke that Alice perked up and wiped the frown clean from her face, "Miss Liddell?" The doctor's voice was soft, meek, and questioned every fiber of her being.
"Doctor? I did make it on time. You did tell me two o'clock sharp." Alice inquired. Her big, blue doe eyes studying the tall doctor that balanced his work underneath his arm. She smiled faintly when he returned her thoughtful look, but did not smile.
"I did. Did you have to wait long, Miss Liddell?" His shoes clicked against the solid wood floors, then crossed the threshold of rug that extended from under his desk to the adjacent chair from Alice's. He placed the vanilla folders down over the already tall stacks of folders, bending from his waist to acquire one of his ballpoint pens.
"No, sir. I've only just made it ten minutes before you showed. So I assumed to only wait for you to come." Alice nodded slowly, her eyes brimmed in nervous intentions. Julius plucked his clipboard and settled down on the opposing chair from Alice's. "I was helping Mister Ringmarc with preparing shortbread and brewed a fresh pot of coffee on the table."
"So it's safe to assume that you've settled in fine? No problems with your living arrangements, I hope." Julius hummed in approval, already setting to work with scribbling against his clipboard with the freshly pulled paper.
"No, sir. Everyone I've met has been very civil towards me – thought – I've only met the head nurse that goes by an intriguing name –"
"-Nightmare." Julius concluded and Alice quickly shook her head.
"Him! Yes, I've met him. Don't label me rude in saying that Mister Nightmare is rather sick to be a nurse, I sort of find it ironic."
"The Irony is that the cook takes care of him – my assistant Gray Ringmarc."
Alice gave into a subtle laugh, her irises were dancing and full of mirth, "Possibly the whole occupational field is a huge irony. Mister Ringmarc has no idea about the principles of cooking and couldn't tell the difference between a spatula and a butter knife. Twenty minutes in the cooking process Mister Ringmarc was called in the back of the tower to help poor Mister Nightmare that has fallen ill; I had to finish the cooking and the coffee brewing by myself." Alice nodded again, keeping her smile plastered upon her delicate lips, "Hopefully it's not too bold to say that men would fall off the base of the planet if women were not around to hold them upright."
"That would be a safe and – truthful accusation, Miss Liddell." The doctor didn't smile, but he was drawn to her carefree nature, even if the circumstance had her living in a strangers' building, along with mad men; even worse than being dubbed mad herself. Julius cleared his throat and pulled his clipboard to eye level, "Shall we get started?" Alice nodded and straightened her posture upon the leather exterior of the chair, her hands smoothing out the wrinkles of her dress. "How old are you, Miss Liddell?"
Alice spoke fondly, proud in the simple question that unraveled before her, "Nineteen coming this May." Julius nodded again, his pen clicking and checking off whatever detail that was spread across the paper.
"How are you feeling today? Have any trouble sleeping?"
"It'd be safe to say yes."
"How so?" Julius stared up from his clipboard.
"Wouldn't you have a hard time tucking in at night, in a building that you were not raised in? I'm sure I'll become accustomed, but I do miss Oxford." Julius wrote down whatever interested him again and Alice sat quietly, waiting for whatever that came to mind.
"We all must endure trivial things in life, Miss Liddell." The doctor bluntly stated and the comment alone stained Alice's mood. "Do you dream when you sleep? If so – do you remember any dreams that stick out to you? I've came across a study that the average person dreams of five different scenarios, but only two or one or none stick with them when they awake in the morning." Julius clicked his pen down, "Remembering dreams become harder once a person hits puberty."
"What do dreams have to do with this, doctor?"
Julius leaned back in his own chair, situating himself in a comfortable stance, "Dreams are images, ideas, emotions, and sensations that occur involuntarily. Dreams are split up on what you do with everyday life and hold certain meanings. Even if you do not find something interesting, your brain triggers to it."
"What about reoccurring dreams?" Alice tiled her head, her lips parted and seemed almost dumbfounded by the silly notion. London was bustling in an industrial era all on its own, and the streets loomed in fog and science. Medical breakthroughs seemed flawed in her mindset.
"Those are even more interesting, Miss Liddell. Do you have any to share?"
"It's foolish to actually recall. Women shouldn't dwell on petty dreams."
Julius eyed her, "Whatever you say is not going to be foolish. In fact, the only thing foolish is for you believing that." His pen clicked and he scribbled whatever was necessary.
Alice's eyes widened, and she took a nervous sigh, "Alright. I have two. Two are entirely different. One is of me sitting in my garden in Oxford, my older sister Lorina is reading to me, but then she gets mad at me for falling asleep –" Alice shrugged but chuckled warmly over the recollection, "My older sister would complain then retreat back to the house to find a deck of cards to keep me awake, so I'll wait for her and all is quiet – till I see the most astonishing thing – a little rabbit with human clothing hops by and complains about time; he'll tell me I'm late for an important date and coax me down his little rabbit hole."
"And do you ever go down the rabbit hole?"
Alice chuckled darkly at the situation she was in, telling tales of her wondering mind was absolutely embarrassing, "Never. I'll wake up before I even step close to the rabbit hole."
"I see." Julius nods and is beckoned to the same ritual of writing down her madness. Alice sighs uncomfortably, "And what of your other dream?"
"Dark. This other dream is – rather hard to talk about."
"Please try to the best of your ability. I only aim to help."
"I know, thank you. It's raining in this dream, but I do not stand alone. In this dream it overlooks a funeral in progress, I do not hear anything nor the rain that pelts my umbrella when I stand in a crowd of faceless people; all assorted but very much the same. I stand in the back of the crowd, watching people step up one-by-one to pay their respects to the person in casket."
"Do you ever see the person in the casket, if so, do you recognize them?"
"I'm sad to inform you, doctor, that I've never had a chance to stand up and walk by the coffin. Just like the rabbit dream, I wake up before I have a chance to observe."
-x-
"You can keep a heart beating with electricity, but does a soul stay in one place? Do I damper the tied soul with trickery? I dive into the very avenues of my mind to ponder my research; I've taken the hearts of small rats and even acquired a heart from a horse." Nightmare inquires to Julius, both doctors of different sciences chatter.
"I believe once the nerves are cut from the brain, that the body simply knows that time has stopped. But I do not consider the afterlife, nor the simplicities of permanent slumber. If my mind is to give first, I wouldn't want my heart to keep beating from under the floors of my chest. I'm only wasting energy and oxygen." Julius took in a great deal of air, sighing over the foolish notion and how this conversation even started – he was too tired to truly contemplate upon it nor did the doctor care. "And here I was believing that you were sane. I believe you caught the curious plague of madness and need to subside your brain fevers. You need to reeducate yourself." Julius drones sarcastically, but the other doctor frowns.
"And here I was hoping to discuss science with a colleague –"
"– With a different practice and degree, yes, I find this absolutely fair with anatomy and physiology – dare I delve into the theory that men are born evil and just like the moon, we all have dark sides that some are better at hiding it than others? Or shall I dissect that one-track mind of yours? I sometimes wonder how you left The Academy with your head in the clouds and your brain in your pants."
"Charm and intellect will take a man to the stars, charm and beauty will take a man to a woman's bed." Nightmare chimes singsong. Nightmare's smile causes Julius to mutter his profanities that drape from his lips, a frown plastered within the depths.
"And simple minds give me the urge to smother you with a pillow while you sleep at night." Julius deadpans and Nightmare can only snicker.
"Such a hotheaded German." Nightmare continues to taunt and both of the men wander down the amble halls of the tower, checking the doors and wiggling the knobs to check up on patients that have yet to risen.
"Miss Liddell are you decent?" Julius speaks through the door and he waits to listen for a flutter of bare feet that quickly pad against the wood floors. Alice quickly opens the door, decked in her nightgown.
"Forgive me doctor! Vivaldi and I will be out to join for breakfast in thirty minutes. We were up all night talking again –"Alice's cheeks are kissed in velvet as she cowers under the blank stare of her physiatrist, the taller man grumbles and nods his head.
"Please hurry, Mister Ringmarc offered to take you to town today to pick up some mended clothing from The Hatters today, then you are to accompany him in picking up groceries." Julius murmurs, and Alice quickly nods her head again to gain his favor.
"Yes, sir! Sorry to keep you waiting." There was something hinted in Alice's tone, it almost sounded pleading or embarrassed by the fact that she let time dwindle to her on accord.
"Don't be so hard on the girl, ol' man!" Nightmare calls from over Julius' shoulder. Julius falls silent and continues down the hall of the tower.
Alice peeks over the side of her doorframe, a frown taking fold over her delicate lips. "I hope I didn't upset the doctor." Alice talks to Nightmare who only shrugs over the outcome.
"Na, the ol' sport is always like that. Always down for business. I'm getting ready for the call when the cook runs in and screams that the German finally keeled over." Alice is mortified by Nightmares' joke, snapping, "Don't say things like that! There is nothing humorous about a dead man slumped over his desk."
"Then you must not know a lot about my business." Nightmare chirps dreamily and Alice shivers at the thought of anyone dead in front of her.
-x-
"I feel like it's always raining."
"In London? That'd be an understatement." Gray held out his umbrella for Alice and she quickly joined the cook at his side; her arm looped around his. "I'm waiting for the rain to swallow us up actually." Gray peered out through the rain, their shoes clicking against the cobblestone of the road.
"It wouldn't surprise me. Probably sweep away the filth." Alice grumbled and tightened her arm around the cook's arm.
"Ah, well, living in London hasn't been too hard on you? I hope to some extent you haven't had a difficult time with finding your place around the city." The two continued on through the bustle of crowd and tapping out through rush hour when the factories around London sprang to life and billowed smokestacks; fog-smitten skies disgusted Alice and she felt like drawling a bath once she returned to the tower.
"This is actually my first time out – I've been – nervous about setting foot out. Also the doctor dubbed it not wise that I'd go out on my own." Alice hums and Gray nods his head, he helps her prevail through the sea of gents that crowd from every angle of street; they make a stop at the end of the block to wait for a carriage to drive by.
"Wouldn't surprise me he would be worried about you going out. London is not safe, not during the day and not even at night. Just something we have to deal with."
"Women, Mister Ringmarc. Hence it is not safe for women." Alice notes and Gray straightens his poster to cast Alice a look.
"To some extent, yes. Between a shiv and prostitution I fear for you, myself. Also for Vivaldi – even if she's too hardheaded to see through the flaw." Gray was a simple man, tender in every aspect and was easy to talk to; Alice truly enjoyed her conversations with the mishap chef.
"I hate the idea of women being targeted."
"Not just women." Gray clears his throat and points his index to the adjacent end of the street that he and Alice were crossing. Alice's eyes widened in horror when she witnessed small boys with signs that hung about their necks, each boy held a different number and were paraded like cattle.
"Please don't tell me –"
"– Humans are evil Miss Liddell, men even more so. They ship them in from farming villages, bastard children and extra months that can't be fed." Alice quickly looks away from the children and doesn't spend a lot of time to dwell on Gray's harsh reality.
"I want to go home. I hate London."
"It happens everywhere, Miss Liddell. I'm truly sorry you had to see that." Gray harmonizes softly, his free hand patting over her arm to comfort her.
The two spends the day together, poking in and out of shops to gather the assorted goods that were sketched into a shopping list. One-by-one Gray begins to check off the items. "We still have to pick up the mended clothing." Alice remarks.
"Hm, you're right. Do you mind if you pick them up, Alice? The butcher's shop is directly in front of the Hatters. I'll pick up the ingredients for tonight's dinner and you pick up the clothes. Here -" Alice extends her hand out to accept the shillings dropped into her palm.
"Alright – so just ask for Mister Nightmare's clothes, correct?" Alice tucked the shillings into her pocket that's been sown into her dress.
"Yes – are you going to be okay doing this? I can always go in with you if you're truly uncomfortable being alone." Gray offers, but Alice quickly declines with a smile.
"No, sir, I'll be fine."
-x-
"Welcome, welcome!" A man calls out from over the counter, a smile reaching from ear-to-ear. "What can I do you for miss?" This tall fellow would bellow, fingers taping against the gradient of his counter. Alice quickly stepped into the shop with the sound of this man's voice, it was to great haste that she closed the door behind her and wiped her shoes off on the carpet offered. The fair-haired man rounded his counter to help Alice tread further into the establishment; the smell of burnt strawberries lingered.
This man was notably tall, his hair tied back with a lavender ribbon that complimented his ash, red-hair, his eyes also hinted violet while his smile pondered upon the lines of too friendly for Alice's taste, but she accepted it wholeheartedly. "I'm actually here for pickup on Mister Nightmare's behalf, the doctor in Clover Tower."
"Ah? Ah! Yes, yes. The strange fellow that popped every button from his coat." The redhead waved Alice in and she followed close. "I wasn't expecting you to pick this up, normally I'm approached by a Mister Ringmarc when it comes to the doctor's affairs – I'm expecting a change in management?" The seamstress cocked a brow and Alice faintly shook her head.
"More like I offered for Mister Ringmarc. My name is Alice Liddell." Alice cleared her throat, "I happen to live at Clover Towers."
"Live, you say? Hm, and what a pleasure to meet you Miss Liddell, the name is Elliot. Elliot March." Elliot keeps his smile warm while he thumbs through the piles of clothing that's stacked behind the counter, eyeing through the masses of tags that poked out from every bundle of clothing.
"You too, Elliot." Elliot finally finds that coat and slings the bundle upon the counter.
"Found it!" Elliot folded the attire for Alice, shoving it into a paper sack, "You're new to London? I was going to ask –"
"- I am. I moved here several days ago."
"Really, from where?"
"Oxford." Alice chimed and Elliot nodded.
"My boss just came from Oxford. You should meet him the next time you're in. He'd really like you, Miss Liddell."
"He may know someone from my family." Alice kept her hazed smile and plucked the bag from Elliot's fingers. "Ah, well, thank you Elliot. I'll see you next time?"
"You bet! Have a safe trip back Miss Liddell."
-x-
Dear Lorina,
Do not believe that glamor lies in the roots of city life, the fable stories of beauty do not live here, my dearest sister. I have seen horrors that no good heart should witness and tasted bitterness in seeing it firsthand. I am content in knowing that you will not step foot within London, I wouldn't think your own heart could fathom the tertiaries that lurk throughout these concrete jungles.
I wouldn't say all bad is lurking, even if these walls are brought up upon the blood of others, there are still good souls that deem this place. I have met a shopkeeper with ash, red-hair and lavender eyes, and he goes by Elliot March – he was most kind to me. I have spent time with the Tower's cook, Gray Ringmarc, a handsome man with a peculiar tattoo etched upon his neck, a small iguana; he told me an old medicine woman from France did it for him, took a needle and pen ink that she bled into his skin, he also told me that it was most painful. I have had several words with the Tower's doctor, a Mister Nightmare; this man complains most of all, and dabbles in the simple affairs of flesh (or so he says.) I have met another female among my group, she is older and cannot comprehend in describing herself with a singular usage; she would rather say 'we' or 'us'; Vivaldi is a sweet girl but has much to work out. Lastly, Mister Julius Monrey. He is a very quiet man among the tower, speaks of gruesome things and can only love his work. Doctor Monrey can be a very hard man to talk to, but I suspect good in him – only time can tell.
I truly hope you'll write me soon.
Forever waiting, your sister, Alice
"Another letter Miss Liddell?" Julius' eyes shift away from his book and he tips his glasses away when Alice steps around his desk to approach him.
"Yes, sir." She hands him the folded paper, a smile cut fresh for display and yet again, Julius would nod and tuck the letter into his vest pocket.
"I will see what I can do, Miss Liddell." Julius implies and continues on to engross himself into his book, reading the romances that the brain delivers; he wishes to best Nightmare in all his shabby talk of the human physiology.
A/N: I'll proofread this later and will be adjusting it. Bear with me in this journey to improvement and the studies of the human brain!
