Chapter 2
"You know when he's not crying he's actually kind of cute."
Dick agreed with Jason. The kid was pretty cute. Big blue eyes and a dust of black hair, walking around with more balance than he'd ever seen on a child so young. Zooming around the room like it was second nature. The child had found the kitchen easily enough so it shouldn't have been surprising, but he seemed quite comfortable in the manor. It almost felt like he-belonged there in some way.
Except he-didn't and they really needed the other Alfred to wake up so they could find out exactly where he did belong and how to get him back there. If they could.
Bruce was halfway across the world so even in his fastest jet, it would take awhile for him to get home. He'd promised to get on the first flight after a bit of a rushed and awkward conversation on why Alfred-but not really Alfred-was sort of lying battered on Bruce's favorite couch.
The silence that followed had worried Dick at first, but ultimately Bruce had assured his return as fast as he could.
Now they had to wait for Tim, because Tim knew things. Things that might be able to help them identify this child and what the hell was happening. Tim had also been instructed to bring diapers and clothes and food. Just until they could figure this all out.
Tim had been equally confused, but Dick insisted he not ask questions til he got there.
"Da-"
Dick blinked as another object was shoved at him. A small statue of a tiger. Where the child had found it, Dick had no clue.
"Kitty."
Dick smiled and nodded. It had taken a few times, but he thought he was starting to understand the child's gargled speech a bit better. The child actually seemed to know more than a few words, which surprised him. "That's right. Kitty." He took the offered object, making the child giggle with excitement before taking off to find more things he could bring. Dick added the figure to the small pile of assorted objects growing beside him.
"Bit of a klepto, isn't he?"
Dick rose a brow at Jason's smirk. The question almost sounded like a compliment. Trust Jason Todd to impressed by a child's pilfering skills. Dick rolled his eyes but couldn't help a small smile. "I think he's just curious."
Jason watched the child's antics, "Who do think he belongs to?"
Dick gaped at the question, "Belongs to? He's not a dog, Jason," He chided.
"I didn't mean-Jesus Dick," Jason gave his own eye roll, "I'm just saying clearly if he was with Alfred-even if he's not our Alfred-it seems likely he'd belong to someone we know, right? Assuming everything's the same in that time. You know, wherever-whenever the other Alfred came from."
Dick studied the child as best he could, for something, anything that might help them, but he was honestly no closer to finding an answer to Jason's question. Dick was more than stumped by all this. He truthfully had no clue who this child was or what was going on.
Jason was talking about alternate timelines, which seemed the most likely cause for another Alfred appearing out of nowhere. Unless Alfred had a twin none of them knew about. Judging by Alfred's reaction to seeing the other man, that seemed unlikely. The workings of time and space and parallel dimensions were tricky and while he knew the basics, they weren't exactly Dick's area of expertise.
It was either an alternate timeline or Alfred was a clone-
Dammit. Dick really wished Bruce were here.
"Maybe, maybe not. I don't really know, Jason," Dick wasn't going to make any guesses either. "Though I'll admit, he does seem pretty at home here."
"Bet you other Bruce popped out another brat," Jason continued, "Wonder who baby momma could be this time?"
Damian's face soured at Jason's suggestion. His already foul mood fell further as he watched the child with even more contempt that before. "Can't he just leave things alone?" Damian snapped, "Didn't anyone teach him not to touch other people's property."
"Lighten up will you?" Jason scoffed, "He's not hurting anything."
"Until we learn who he is, I don't trust him," Damian looked back to the other Alfred, "either of them."
"He's a bit young to be planning world domination, don't you think?" Jason retorted, "Hell, he's not even potty trained yet.
Damian made a face, "If either of you think I'm changing any diapers on that-thing, you're both severely mistaken."
Jason groaned and leaned his head back. Despite being the one to bring it up, he admitted, "Crap, I hadn't thought about that."
Unfortunately, Dick had. The idea didn't exactly appeal to him either, "I suppose that's what we have Alfred for, right?" He gave his best version of puppy dog eyes, staring at the older man with a look that made most people swoon.
Most people, but clearly not Alfred Pennyworth.
The aforementioned butler gave Dick a rather nasty looking frown in return, "I believe Master Dick," He widened his glare to encompass all three of the younger men, "that this might be a good learning experience for you boys."
"Learning experience?" Jason groaned, "Come on Al, you don't really mean that."
"Indeed I do, Master Jason. Being able to care for a child teaches one patience and responsibility."
"Patience and responsibility?" Jason repeated, "Yeah, no thanks."
Alfred eyed him with severity, "It wasn't a suggestion, Master Jason. I intend to keep my focuses on the bigger problem of the man injured on Master Bruce's couch. I suggest you three figure work on keeping the young master as content as you can." He looked and sounded completely serious.
Dick was a little worried. Alfred wasn't honestly leaving them, three clueless males in charge of a toddler, was he? Three males who knew nothing about caring for a goldfish much less caring for a child, surely he wasn't that cruel.
Alfred walked back over to the other Alfred and three pairs of blue eyes watched him. In varying degrees of annoyance.
"Not it," Jason raised a hand.
Dick rolled his eyes at the juvenile behavior, "Jason, that's not-"
"Me either." Damian followed Jason's lead and even raised his hand. Dick stared at them both, mouth agape. "Sorry Grayson, I guess that leaves you on baby duty."
Dick glared from Jason's amused grin to Damian's mildly evil smirk, "Seriously guys? Seriously?"
"Sorry, Dickie," Jason said, looking anything but, "them's the rules and we've established what happens when I hold him. Little guy definitely likes you best anyway." Jason pointed this out just as the child returned with something else grasped in his chubby fingers to hand to Dick, "See," Jason literally pointed, "you're bonding already."
Dick glowered at Jason, "We are not bonding and that's hardly a reason to-" He ignored the small hand patting his knee, trying to draw his attention, "-stick me with him." There was a whine and a gargled, "da-" as the child continued to barrage him with his palm and small sounds of annoyance. "Just because he likes me. That's hardly fair." Dick wanted to shoo the child away for the sake of saving himself further harassment, but found with one look into those big eyes that he simply couldn't. Dick sighed but gave the child another smile as he took the item, much to the child's glee. "Everyone likes me. I can't help that."
Jason's lips twitched, "Well, with humility like that, I can see why."
Dick huffed and tried to change the subject, "I'm saying we should take turns."
Jason considered him, "Yeah, I don't think so," He decided. "I carried him here-not an easy task with a hundred eighty pound man on your back, I might add-I think I've done my civic duty."
Dick faltered, "That's-"
"Admit it Dickie, you lost."
Damian's pinched voice pulled them both away from their ribbing long enough to witness the sheer brutality of a grouchy tween-ager at his breaking point, "Give me that."
Dick saw it in slow motion, Damian's command and scowl, the protesting blue eyes that widened at him as he viciously swiped the item away from small unsuspecting hands.
Oh no.
The screech that followed could have very well could have broken the sound barrier. Or at least cracked every window and glass in the manor.
"Seriously?" Jason shot irritably as he covered his ears.
Dick glared at Damian as the child ran back to him, red faced and howling. Two arms extended up at him and Dick took the opening, hoping to save what was left of his hearing, shushing the boy as best he could. He growled over the child' s head at Damian, "What did you do that for?"
Damian looked affronted at both the noise and the rebuking frown, "I wasn't trying to-he had my book and I was just-"
"Stealing from a baby?" Jason shamed him with his fingers, "You really are evil, aren't you?"
"Stealing from him? He was stealing from me." Damian's comeback was almost a wine. Almost.
"I think you're more immature than he is." Jason snorted, "And he's a frickin' baby."
Damian's mouth set in what was likely a fiery retort, but Dick wasn't having it. "Will you both just stop it? He's fine now," Indeed the child was more content to mess with the button's on Dick's shirt than howl his frustrations til their ears bled. Thank god. "You'll only wind him up again."
Jason studied him with a teasing twinkle in his eye, "Whatever you say. Mom."
The glare Dick sent him was toxic, but seeing as Jason's skin didn't instantly melt, obviously it wasn't toxic enough.
The child was back to his antics, moving about freely, when Tim Drake made his entrance awhile later. He took it all surprisingly well. "Sooo-" Tim's arm rotated, as if he didn't know which blindingly odd thing to discuss first. His hand rested in his buzzed dark hair as he collected his thoughts, rather unsuccessfully, "There's another Alfred."
"Indeed, Master Tim," Alfred supplied mildly from where he sat over the other man.
"Now we know why they call you the genius."
Tim ignored Jason with a practiced ease. He turned to the second item which seemed all too happy to pull on his pant leg the moment he saw Tim. "And there's a a kid." He placed the bag he'd been carrying on the table with a look of bewilderment, "I guess this explains the things you asked for." He shook his head after a moment of contemplation, still completely confused, "How did this happen exactly?"
"Interesting story, Timmy," Jason started as if to elaborate, "As in we don't know it."
Tim rolled his blue eyes upward, "You said you found them right?" He gave the child at his leg a small glance and an even smaller smile.
"Up?" The child asked, arms extended.
"Yeah, I did but-" Jason watched the boy before he cautioned, "Word of advice, you might want to pick junior here up."
"What? Why?"
"Just take my word for it."
Tim blinked and regarded the child, arms still raised expectantly, "Oh-okay." He scooped the child up like he wasn't quite sure what to do with him.
"Well I think we've broadened our search," Jason announced, slapping Tim's back. "Congrats Timbo, looks like you, Alfred and Dick are all potential candidates."
"Candidates?" Tim asked apprehensively, "Candidates for what?"
Jason rolled his eyes, "Candidates for baby daddy, obviously."
"Baby daddy? Are you-," Dick stopped. "Hold on, Alfred?"
Jason shrugged, but his smirk gave him away, "Anything's possible. And it's not like it's Alfred-Alfred or you-you it's another you or Tim or Alfred or whatever."
"Spoken like a true imbecile," Damian bit out.
Dick put a hand on his hip, "You're making a lot of assumptions, aren't you?"
"He likes you three and seems really comfortable here. He knows where things are and it makes sense seeing as he was with Alfred." Jason shrugged. "It makes the most amount of sense. Bruce is still in the running, but seeing as he's not here-"
"There's a much easier way to solve this," Tim cut off, "Instead of these colorful assumptions pulled from our asses," Jason wagged a brow, "we could find out exactly who he is right now. Or at the very least find out who his parents are. We just need his DNA."
"See," Jason said to no one in particular, "told you he was the smart one."
Seeing all four of them reunited in the cave brought a bittersweet feeling to Dick's heart. Tim immediately went to the computer and Damian found a higher vantage point to glower from. Naturally.
Jason moved from case to case of assorted costumes and weapons, observing them all with curiosity. He tapped the glass to an old Robin costume that had once been his with a uneven smile, "When did Bruce become so nostalgic?"
"When did you become so snoopy?" Damian's hackles were clearly raised. His eyes volleyed between Jason and the child, trying to watch both at once. He couldn't seem to decide who he disliked or distrusted more. "Just don't touch anything."
The threat rolled right off Jason's back, "Are you always this high strung or am I just lucky?"
"You're lucky to even be allowed down here, that's what." Damian retorted, pure hatred oozing from his every word.
Dick rubbed the bridge of his nose and exhaled, he was taking care to make sure the child didn't wander too far from his sight and his head was suddenly pounding. Damian's attitude was really not helping the throb in his temples, "Damian, I think there's enough going on already-save this crap for later. Please."
Damian's arms crossed, "Last I looked, I don't take orders from you, Grayson."
Dick's mouth tightened, but he wasn't giving into to the tantrum. He had one baby to deal with already, he certainly didn't need Damian's immaturity on top of it.
Jason just shook his head, "How has no one thrown this kid off a cliff yet? And I don't mean the baby."
"Don't think we haven't thought of it," Tim murmured. "I know I have."
"Gotta say Timmy, I admire your self control."
"So," Tim ventured over a cough, he spun the chair as several bats fluttered overhead. The giant screen behind him illuminated his silhouette as he asked, "Do you want the good news or the bad news?"
Dick frowned, he pulled the boy's hand from trying to push another button on one of the many computers, "There's bad news. Like what?"
"Well," Tim ran a hand across his short hair with a small sigh, as if he didn't know where to begin, "I don't know if I'd call it bad, but-"
"Don't be cryptic, Drake. Out with it."
Tim frowned at Damian's impatience, "I'm getting to it, if you would just let me finish."
"Boys, boys," Jason took Dick's early lead of pacifism, "Save the pissing contest for later. What is it T-man?" He rested his elbows on the back of Tim's chair, "What's the news?"
"Okay, well the good news is he's human. A hundred percent human with two human parents."
"That is good" Dick agreed, "but-" he couldn't help the whole growing in his stomach, "what's the bad news?"
Tim bit his lip before he responded, "Like I said, it's not exactly bad it's just-" he looked between Dick and Jason and his mouth lifted, though he seemed a bit apprehensive. "I think one of you might want to invest in a car seat."
Jason's brow rose, "The hell does that mean?"
Tim made an aggravated sound, "Look I know it's crazy but I ran it three times to be sure it wasn't a mistake." He pointed back at the screen, brows pinched in frustration, "It came back the same each time. I don't know what else to say-"
Worry and unease slowly worked its way up Dick's spine, "Say? Say about what?"
Tim's blue eyes flew sideways. "It's funny you should mention baby daddy," He continued to Jason, "because funnily enough you were kind of right. Though you sort of forgot someone."
"Oh god it's not him is it?" Jason threw a thumb in Damian's direction with a squished brow of disgust, "Aren't you a little young to be-?"
"No Jason, it's not Damian," Tim gave an exasperated eye roll, "I'll put it a bit more bluntly for you." He cleared his throat and addressed Dick and Jason, "Congratulations," He pointed to said child, "It's a boy."
Neither man said anything for a moment.
"Tim-" Dick began.
"I guess this mean I have to get you a baby shower gift, huh?"
"Tim-stop it. That's not-"
"Trust me I know. I know," Tim suddenly looked a bit deflated and lost his humor, "It's doesn't make sense and it's physically impossible, but DNA doesn't lie," Tim looked apologetic, "I don't know what else to say but, I ran it three times." He shrugged helplessly.
"Obviously, he's some science experiment or something," Jason waved off, "I mean we all know two guys can't make a baby, right?" His calm tone was countered by his slightly elevated breathing. For all his earlier joking he looked a pale.
Dick's eyes flew to the child. Even if anything Tim said were true-which was impossible and completely insane-he couldn't see this boy as anything other than a normal little boy. He didn't look like a science experiment, just a regular kid.
A regular kid who had reached out to him and might have called him da.
Oh Christ.
"Didn't you hear what I said?" Tim asked impatiently, scrubbing at his forehead in irritation, "I told you, he's human. One hundred percent human. No clone, not made in a lab, nothing like that. I believe this child was conceived naturally."
Damian snorted, "I think you're in need of some serious anatomy lessons, Drake."
"You explain the results to me then," Tim snapped, "because that's what it says and DNA-"
"Doesn't lie," Damian mimics, "You don't have to repeat yourself. Though perhaps this is a user error and not a fault of the computers."
"It's not-" Tim looked affronted, "I know perfectly well what I'm doing. Thank you very much."
"So which one is the mother then?" Jason was clearly trying to make it a joke, but it came out a bit hoarse. He smirked at Dick but it was weak, "You aren't hiding something from us, are you?"
"Aside from the fact that would still require having sex Jason, which is-" Dick shook his head, "-you really think that's what's important here?" Dick demanded. He felt a bit queasy and was focusing on breathing to keep from falling over. Jason shrugged and Dick continued, "Like you said, this isn't exactly our kid," He turned on Tim, "is it?"
"Not unless one of you actually is hiding something we don't know about," Tim shifted uncomfortably.
"He does kind of look like you," Damian observed Dick and then Jason, "Shame he has to have Todd in him too though."
"I'm not above smacking you in front of a child," Jason warned, "In fact-"
Alfred's face flashed on the screen capturing everyone's attention, his voice was both relieved, but still slightly pinched, "Sorry to interrupted young masters, but I thought you would wish to know that our guest is finally coherent and wishes to talk."
"Good," Jason boots stomped against the cave floor, "Now we can clear this nonsense up once and for all," He turned to Dick with a sneer, "You're cute Dickie, but no matter how good you look in tights, I'm not looking to play house with you."
"Ditto," Dick shot back, but he couldn't stop the gnawing feeling that whatever this Alfred had to say, it wouldn't be good. He scooped the child up and refused to acknowledge how natural it suddenly felt to do so.
Jason Todd-
Of course Todd would be here. Of course he would have to go and ruin everything. Have to save the old man like he was worth saving.
Jason Todd should have been dead-a name on a grave somewhere. A memory and nothing more. He'd made sure of that.
Though that had been a different world. Perhaps things could be different here-
Perhaps-
He ground his teeth and cursed as he watch Alfred Pennyworth being dragged inside the large gates of stately Wayne Manor.
Dammit.
The old man was still breathing and Todd had the child.
He'd failed.
He spat on the ground in disgust.
He'd failed and now he'd have to wait for another opportunity. Because it wasn't going to end like this. He refused to let it.
He needed to get in there. Needed to take the child back.
And he would.
He smirked.
Oh yes, he would get in there alright.
And he knew just the way to do it.
