Disclaimer: I do not own these songs: Demons by Imagine Dragons and You and Me by Lifehouse.
Thank you, Shadow Cat17, for the lovely review.
Two weeks after Doug and Evie's anniversary, Ben still hasn't decided what he wants to do about his feelings for Carlos. He definitely has a crush on him, but he's nervous about telling the white-haired boy. He doesn't want to lose his friendship if he doesn't reciprocate his feelings.
He goes looking for the musician. After checking the dorms and the library, he heads to the music room. He feels like he's intruding on Carlos' sanctuary, but he wants to see his friend. As he gets closer to the room, he hears guitar music and a soft voice singing. He recognizes Carlos' voice, and he peers around the door.
The white-haired boy is sitting on his stool, playing the guitar held across his lap. He has his eyes closed as he sings. He's so completely engrossed in his song that he doesn't hear Ben enter the room.
When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold
When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood's run stale
The young king watches him in awe. He's never seen Carlos look more beautiful. He can hear the passion in his voice and in the way he strums the guitar. He instinctively knows this song is important to the white-haired teenager, that he feels the words deeply.
I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside
There's nowhere we can hide
No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come
Sometimes Carlos wants to tell Ben about his crush on him, but he knows he can't. He isn't good enough for the king. He has his inner demons that threaten to consume him. He won't let his darkness infect his friend.
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
Its dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
On the other hand, Carlos sometimes thinks Ben is the only person who could save him from himself. The young king is so good, so pure; he could show him how to overcome his demons. He doesn't know what to think anymore.
They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go
Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how
Ben feels like crying as he listens to Carlos pour his emotions into the song. He hasn't realized the white-haired boy feels this way. He hides his emotions well; he puts up a façade of happiness. The brunette young man wants to make him feel better. He wants to be his light. He knows Carlos is a good person; he's smart, funny, loyal, and caring. He doesn't want to see him lose his inner battle.
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
Its dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Carlos finishes strumming the last notes of the song. He loves this song but it's so emotionally draining. A lone tear trails down his cheek as he opens his eyes and takes a deep breath. His dark brown eyes gaze around the room as he tries to settle himself. He gasps as he sees Ben standing just inside the room. The king's emerald eyes are intensely focused on him. He sees concern and another emotion he doesn't recognize in those eyes.
Ben hesitantly takes a few steps forward. "Hey," he stammers a little as he rubs the back of his neck self-consciously. He doesn't know what to say.
Carlos blushes and wipes away his tear, hoping Ben didn't see it. "Hey." He's confused; he doesn't know why the brunette teenager is here.
"Sorry for intruding. I just wanted to see if you were free. I thought maybe we could do something."
"Um, yeah, I'm free. What do you want to do?" he asks. He's eager to spend time with him.
"Do you want to take Dude for a walk?" Ben asks, then mentally face-palms. He is so lame. He should have asked him out for coffee or dinner, but he's flustered from seeing the musician singing and playing the guitar.
The dog wakes up from his spot in the corner when he hears his name. He comes scampering over to the boys. Ben honestly hadn't seen him when he entered the room. His eyes were only on Carlos.
Laughing softly, the white-haired boy says, "I guess that's a yes. Let's go for a walk."
Ben nods and waits as he puts the guitar away. They walk out of the room with Dude walking in between them. They silently walk out of the building and heads towards the tourney field. They're both trying to find something to say, but they don't want to break the comfortable silence.
They're alone outside as the sun starts to set. They walk into the woods past the tourney field where Ben first introduced Dude to Carlos. Each of them secretly refers to this place as their spot. After a few minutes, the brunette teenager gathers his courage and asks about the song the white-haired boy was singing.
"I liked that song you were singing. What is it?"
"Demons by Imagine Dragons," Carlos replies, hoping he won't ask any more questions.
"You seemed really into it. Do you feel that way?"
"What way?" He plays dumb.
Ben looks at him; he knows Carlos is trying to stall. "Do you feel like you have inner demons? That you have a darkness inside you?"
Carlos explodes. He's tired of hiding. "Yes! I'm the son of Cruella de Vil. I'm terrified I'm going to become just like her. Evil, dark, and twisted."
Grabbing a hold of his shoulders, he says, "Listen to me. That is never going to happen. You are nothing like your mother."
"You don't know that. I could have inherited her evilness like I inherited her hair or high cheekbones," he said, voice rising as he panics. He's finally told somebody his greatest fear, and he can't reign in his terror.
Ben wraps Carlos up in his arms, holding on tightly. He needs the white-haired teenager to calm down and listen to him. He gently rocks the other boy to soothe him. His heart aches hearing his crush's panicked gasps and sobbing breaths. The musician clutches his shirt tightly in his fists. After a few minutes, Carlos finally starts to calm down. The young king starts talking, hoping he is listening.
"Shh, you're ok. Carlos, you are a good man. I swear you will never turn into Cruella. You don't have any evil inside you, I promise."
Blushing as he realizes he's clutching Ben's shirt, Carlos slowly relaxes his grip and lets go. He can't believe he broke down in front of his crush. He's so embarrassed, but he also feels a little better. If Ben believes he is a good person, then maybe he won't become his mother. He looks up at the king with tear-filled brown eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean to dump all this on you."
Ben shakes his head. "Don't apologize. I'm sorry I didn't see what you were going through earlier. You shouldn't have had to deal with this alone."
"It's not your fault, Ben. I hid my fears well," he says. He doesn't want Ben to blame himself.
"Well, you're not alone now. Anytime you want to talk or you start feeling this way again, come to me. I want to help you," the young king says sincerely. He wants to be there to support Carlos.
"Thank you," he says. He wants to say more but the words get stuck in his throat as he realizes how close they are. His hands are resting on Ben's shoulders, and the king's arms are around his waist. If he stood on his tip-toes, he could reach his lips and discover if they are as soft as they look. He could finally have his first kiss.
Meanwhile, Ben is having the same realization. He desperately wants to lean down and capture Carlos' pink lips with his own. He wants to kiss the other boy until they're both dazed and out of breath. He wants to confess his feelings for him, but he knows he can't. The white-haired teenager is very vulnerable right now. He doesn't want to take advantage of him.
So, Ben gently lets go of Carlos and takes a step backward. He thinks he sees disappointment flash in those gorgeous brown eyes but he's not sure. He feels cold now that he's not holding the other boy. Clearing his throat, he says, "We should head back to the dorms. It's getting dark out."
Carlos nods. Soon they won't be able to see their way out the woods. "Yeah, let's go. Dude!"
The dog jumps up from behind a fallen log. He was investigating all the different scents around him. Dude nudges his master's leg. He wants to check to see if he is ok.
Petting his soft, furry head, says, "I'm ok, Dude. Let's go home."
The three of them start walking back to the dorms. They are silent as they both try to process their walk. Carlos can't believe he told Ben his greatest fear and that he calmed him down so easily. Ben is thinking about how he never wants Carlos to feel that fear again. He's going to do everything in his power to make sure he knows that he is a good man.
As they enter the dorms, Ben turns to his friend. "I need to go into town tomorrow. Do you want to come with me?"
Carlos thinks about it. Tomorrow is Saturday, so they don't have any classes. He can always do his homework later. "Sure, I'd love to. Why are you going into town?"
"I have some shopping to do. I don't want to go by myself. I think we'll have fun, just the two of us," he says smiling, happy he found a way to spend more time alone with his crush.
The white-haired boy blushes because it sounds like Ben is asking him out on a date. He knows he's not, but he still blushes thinking about being alone with him. "Ok, sounds good."
"Great. I'll pick you up in the morning," Ben says as he walks Carlos to his door.
He smiles at the young king and says "See you in the morning." He opens his door and goes inside. He's glad Jay isn't in the room. He doesn't want to explain the big, dopey grin he has on his face. He's excited about tomorrow.
Ben walks to his private dorm room, whistling as he walks. He's hopeful that Carlos will return his feelings. He plans to tell him the truth soon. But for now, he's happy that he's going to spend the day with his crush. He starts planning all the shops he needs to go to and where they should eat lunch. He wants it to be a perfect day.
The next morning, the king wakes up early. He checks the gas tank of his bike. He doesn't want to run out of gas before they get to town. He washes the bike and both helmets until they shine in the morning sunlight. After changing into clean clothes, he knocks on Carlos' door.
The white-haired boy eagerly opens the door. He practically kicked Jay out the room, so he wouldn't see Ben come to pick him up. He doesn't want to hear his friend's teasing. He swears he feels his heart stop when Ben directs his blinding smile at him. He smiles back because the king's smiles are contagious.
"Are you ready?" the brunette young man asks. He's excited.
"Yes, I am," he answers. He feels giddy with anticipation. Today is going to be a good day.
The two teenage boys walk down to the front of the building, where Ben has parked his bike. Carlos looks nervously at the bike. He's not scared of the bike; he's nervous about being so close to him. He hopes he can control his reactions to Ben's body pressed so tightly against his own body.
Ben hands Carlos a helmet and sits on the bike. He gestures for the other boy to get on behind him. "Hold on tight," he shouts as he starts the engine.
He straddles the seat and places his hands around Ben's waist. He scoots up behind the brunette boy, his legs pressed against the other boy's.
Ben gulps nervously. He hadn't thought this part out. He hadn't realized how he would feel with Carlos pressed up against him, holding him tightly. He feels his heart start to race. He hopes he doesn't embarrass himself.
"Ready?" he shouts back to him.
Carlos squeezes tighter. "Ready!"
Ben guns the throttle and they go flying down the road. Carlos is surprised by the speed and his hands grip the king's hips tightly. After a moment, he relaxes and enjoys the ride. It's exhilarating going this fast and feeling Ben's body in his arms. He hopes the ride will never end.
The brunette teenager loves riding his bike; he loves the speed and the freedom. Sometimes he needs to escape from his kingly duties and just relax. This is his favorite ride now because of Carlos. He loves being held in the other boy's arms. He loves being so close to him. When he sees the town ahead of him, he groans in disappointment. He's not ready for this ride to end.
After parking the bike and putting away their helmets, Ben leads the other boy into a bookstore. He needs to buy his mother a birthday present. He browses the shelves, hoping to find a book Belle will love.
"Do you see a book you think my mom will like? Her birthday is tomorrow," he says.
Carlos looks around. He spots a shelf of beautiful, leather-bound journals. He heads over to look more closely. He spots a gorgeous, tan leather journal with a gold fleur-de-lis on the cover.
"Do you think she'd like a journal?" Carlos asks as he picks up the book.
Ben comes over to the white-haired teenager. He never thought of giving his mother a journal, but it's a wonderful idea. She can write her thoughts and memories in it.
"I think a journal is a great idea. How did you think of it?" the king asks curiously.
"The queen seems like she's very intelligent. She probably has a lot of ideas and thoughts about everything. If she has a journal, she can write them down so she can remember them later."
Ben nods. He looks at the journals on the shelves, but he likes the one that Carlos chose. "Let's go pay for the journal and see if they can gift wrap it. I'm terrible at wrapping presents."
He laughs. "It's hard to believe that you're terrible at anything."
"It's true. My presents look like a five-year-old kid wrapped them." He feels happy that he made Carlos laugh.
Still chuckling, he follows Ben to the cashier. The king pays quickly, and the cashier wraps the journal in beautiful, gold wrapping paper.
Next, he leads Carlos to a flower shop. "I always give my mom flowers for her birthday."
The king heads to the roses. He picks out the pink ones because they're Belle's favorites and then looks around for any flowers that stand out to him.
"Pick out any flowers you like," he tells the white-haired boy.
Carlos looks around the shop. He sees a bunch of lilacs. "How about these purple ones?"
Ben comes over. "They smell nice. I think she'll like them. Do you think we need any more?"
Looking at the flowers in Ben's hands, he suggests, "Maybe some white ones?"
The florist walks over and overhears Carlos' comment. "Hello, gentlemen. May I suggest some daisies or white carnations? Who is the bouquet for?"
The king says, "The flowers are for my mom's birthday. Can I see what the bouquet would look like with the daisies?"
"Of course," she says. She gestures for the roses and lilacs and leads the boys over to the daisies. She expertly arranges the three types of flowers into an elegant bouquet.
Ben chooses a lovely crystal vase and a bright yellow ribbon. He asks for the flowers to be delivered to the castle tomorrow.
As they walk outside, Ben asks Carlos what he wants to do next. "I have one more stop to make. Do you want to eat lunch now or after the shop?"
The musician wasn't expecting lunch. "I can wait until you're done shopping. What store do you want to go to next?"
Ben smiles. "C'mon, I think you'll like this next shop a lot."
Carlos follows as he crosses the street and heads to a shop a few doors down the block. He sees a large musical note above the door. Ben holds the door open for him and he walks inside with wide, brown eyes.
Ben loves the look of amazement on the white-haired boy's face. He knew taking him to a music shop was a good idea.
Carlos loves looking at all the instruments but he's confused about why Ben wanted to come to this shop. "What are you going to buy your mom from here?"
He laughs. "Nothing. I just thought you would like to look around."
He smiles brightly, a little flustered that Ben chose this shop just to please him. "Thanks."
He wonders around the store until a bright red guitar catches his eye. He walks over to it. It's a beautiful red guitar with white and black accents.
The shop employee comes over. He's a tall guy with long, blonde hair. He looks like he's in his early 20's. "Nice eye, dude. That's a Fender California Series acoustic guitar."
"It's amazing," he says; he longs to touch it, to play it.
Ben has joined the two men looking at the guitar. It's no surprise to him that Carlos gravitated to the red, white, and black guitar.
"I'm Johnny by the way," the employee says.
"I'm Carlos, and this is Ben," the white-haired teenager says.
"Do you want to play the guitar? Test it out?"
He looks shocked. "I couldn't. I don't want to mess it up."
"It's ok, dude. We want our customers to try out the instruments before they buy them. You have to find one that's perfect for you."
He hesitantly reaches out and gingerly picks up the guitar. He puts the black strap around his neck and slowly strums the strings.
Ben watches as a look of awe appears on the musician's face. "Will you play me a song?"
Carlos blushes. "I'm not that good. Besides, I don't know what to play."
"You're very talented," the young king reassures him.
"Just play whatever you feel, bro," Johnny says.
Nodding his head, Carlos starts playing random chords until he remembers a song he knows. He starts playing softly until he gets a feel of the guitar and strums more confidently.
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
He becomes so involved in the song that he's oblivious to the stares of Ben and Johnny. This is one of the songs he sings when he thinks about the young king.
All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything he does is beautiful
Everything he does is right
Ben is enthralled by Carlos's voice and playing. He blushes when he hears him singing about a boy. Maybe he does have a chance with the white-haired teenager.
Carlos finishes the song with a small flourish. The guitar feels perfect in his hands. He's startled out of his musical trance by applause. Looking up, he sees the two guys clapping loudly.
"Dude, you're awesome! It's like that guitar was made for you," Johnny says.
"That was amazing, Carlos. You have to have that guitar," Ben says; he's happy to buy the guitar for him.
He blushes. "Thanks, but I can't afford to buy it." He's embarrassed because he doesn't have a lot of money. The four teenagers from the Isle receive a small allowance each month to pay for necessities.
"I'll buy it for you. I want you to have it," the brunette young man says.
"No, thank you. I'll just save my money and buy it later. For now, I'll just keep playing the school's guitar."
"That guitar is so old and battered looking. You deserve to play a new guitar," Ben says, trying to convince Carlos to let him buy it.
"No! I don't want your charity," he says as he storms out of the shop. He doesn't want Ben's pity.
The king watches as Carlos stomps outside. He didn't mean to make him angry. He looks at Johnny. "I'll be back to buy this guitar. Can you put it on hold for me?"
"Sure, dude. I couldn't sell it after watching Carlos play it. This guitar was meant for him."
"Thank you," he says and hurries outside, wanting to find Carlos.
The white-haired boy is standing outside. He hears Ben's footsteps and turns around. "I'm sorry for losing my temper. You were trying to do something nice, and I yelled at you. You didn't deserve that."
"It's ok, Carlos. I didn't mean to make you mad."
"I know. I'm sorry," he says. He feels horrible about yelling.
Ben smiles softly. "You're forgiven. Now are you ready for lunch? I'm starving."
"I'm hungry too," he smiles, happy Ben has forgiven him. "Where are we going?"
"There's an awesome hamburger place down the road." He knows how much Carlos likes hamburgers and fries.
"I love hamburgers! Let's go," he exclaims.
Ben chuckles as he shows the other boy the way to the restaurant. He's glad he asked the white-haired boy to accompany him today. Carlos found the perfect gift for his mother and helped choose the right flowers for her bouquet. Plus, he has found the best gift for his crush. He'll buy that red guitar and give it to him for Christmas. He can't wait to see his face when he opens his present. He's eager to surprise him.
