A/N HI:D so... here's the next chapter, I'm sorry if it seems a little slow at the beginning, let me know what you think :D
I was so thankful for Damon at that moment. He was the 'leader' type person at the orphanage, in charge of all the other workers. But he never really does anything, just sits on his fat ass and drinks all day.
It was quite chilly this summer morning due to a strong wind, then again, Chicago isn't called the windy city for nothing, amirite? Being outside makes me feel calm, because I'm not confined by the walls around me, and there is usually a great distance between me and any other people – it gives me space. It also makes me realise how insignificant my worries and insecurities are. Like:
Who cares if I don't make loads of friends? There is over 7 billion people on earth and I will barely come into contact with even a fraction of them. Who cares if I don't get an A on my maths exam? Complex organisms such as bacteria, plants, animals, humans and the WORLD will still continue to function without my complete knowledge of quadratic equations.
Who cares that I'm a fat piece of shit that's gonna end up alone with no one to hold me? The sun will eventually explode and destroy the earth along with every living thing on it.
Actually I care.
I care a lot.
But I decided that today wasn't the day to have an existential crisis and cry in a corner for hours on end. I thought that I should look at least mildly happy during my first day of education. So – as I trudged down the cracked pavement – I looked around me for a distraction; something to keep my mind off of the inevitably eventual end of all life on earth and destruction of millions of years of hard work as we know it.
Looking up, the sky was a deep grey, which matched both the road and the slightly lighter coloured pavement. I like the colour grey immensely, so this made me happy. The orphanage I was put in was situated in a small neighbourhood in Chicago Illinois, a good fifteen minute journey away from Bluecroft Highschool – there were cherry blossoms lining the streets which rainined down soft pink petals with every gust of wind. The contrast between the rosy pink flowers and the monochrome coloured sky made me feel as though I was in another more peaceful universe, so when I got to the bus stop I tilted my head back and let the wind carry my mind some place far away.
That was until the bright yellow and beaten up school bus came bounding down the road – leaving a cloud of toxic black smoke in its mist. As it pulled up and the doors slid open I pulled the sleeves of my trusty green jumper into my palms, allowing my side fringe to fall over my eyes.
As soon as I stepped onto the bus, the doors behind me snapped shut and the engine roared back to life. I took this as my cue to sit down. Glancing around the long bus, I saw that it was pretty empty, with only four people sat towards the front. I stumbled further back down the aisle of seats and decided on the middle section, not too far forwards or backwards. However the closer to school I got, the more people who joined the journey – and by now there were only two sets of seats left available, one of which I was sat in, so I prayed that this was everyone because I really didn't feel like being squished up to some stranger. It's not that I'm snobby and selfish and feel grossed out or annoyed by people sitting by me, I just worry that – because we'd be sat so close – they'll notice all the little things. Like the way I smell, the acne and acne scars on my face, my awful frizzy hair, the ruff condition of my clothes, my freakishly tall height, my excessive body fat… the list is endless. I'm just afraid that I'll end up grossing them out, or generally just annoying them with my presence.
The growing noise on the bus was making me feel uncomfortable, so I slipped in my earphones and turned my IPod to Lets Cheers to This by Sleeping With Sirens – I freaking love this album, it's the first thing I got on my IPod all those years ago back in England. It was old, and you could tell. The gold coloured paint on the small rectangular object was no longer shiny, but dull and scratched. Just as Do it Now Remember it Later came on and I'd pumped up the volume, the bus came to yet another stop and the doors flew open once more.
Nonononononononononononononononononono
Four guys then stepped onto the bus, but no one seemed to pay much attention to them. Crap one of them is gonna sit by me. The first to make his way down the aisle had a mass of curly brown hair on his head, afro guy was followed by another dude just a little shorter than him who had wavy brown hair and a ginger beard – afro and beard sat behind me. Craaaaaaaaap. They were then followed by a grumpy looking guy with a black fringe and eyeliner. He noticed me watching and gave a questioning look to the guys behind me, nodding his head in my direction. On no I'm sat in his seat abort abort abort! Emo dude stood next to the two guys behind me rather than sitting down and just as I was about to excuse myself to stand at the front of the bus, a guy with longish blonde hair tucked under a trucker cap along with some impressive sideburns slid into the seat next to me, causing us to crash into each other. NONONONONONONONONO!
I quickly ripped out my headphones and tucked them into my pocket, stuttering out a string of sorrys and no it's fines, all while trying to avoid his big blue eyes.
Wait… what?!
"Hey don't worry about it." Sideburns chuckled, the sound of his laugh set off a weird fluttering feeling in my stomach. What IS going on.
I grabbed my trusty cat bad off of the floor, ready to make a run for the front of the bus, "I'll, erm, move so you-your erm friend c-can sit… sit down…" I mumbled, nodding up at the emo boy, but sideburns spoke before I could even think about moving.
"Naah you're fine, Pete can stand." He gestured to the boy holding onto one of the yellow poles stretching from the floor of the bus to the roof, emo boy – who's name I now was Pete – then spoke up,
"Hey! Since when do you speak for me?" damn, he sounded angry, but in a joking sort of way.
Trucker hat guy turned and responded to the eyeliner clad boy, and I began to feel really awkward just sat amongst their conversation, "I can stand, seriously just let me p-" I was cut off once more when I heard blonde boy whisper to Pete, "Give her a break man, I think she's new." He then glanced over and smiled warmly at me, and it made me feel a little better. But was it that obvious that I was new? It was clear that I wasn't moving anytime soon – no matter how awkward I felt or how much I protested – so I went back to my IPod, turning the volume up to max to try and block out the noise.
