Senior year of high school. "Time of our lives" and all that shit. I mean really, who thinks up some of the crap regarding senior year in high school. I pull on the required uniform of the all holy catholic institution I attend – khaki pants, button down shirt, tie, and my own personal additions to the wardrobe: combat boots, eyebrow piercing, and leather jacket. I grab my school blazer for the hallways and head downstairs.
Esme is in the kitchen arm outstretched with a cup of coffee in her hand. I grab the coffee, offer a quick peck on the cheek, and run out the door. Can't be late for chapel first day of all days….I think the world might just stop on its axis.
I make it to school 15 minutes before the bell rings sliding my car into the spot that has been mine since sophomore year. Everyone knows, even the freshman, not to park in that spot right near the ramp. I grab my blazer and head to the top of the ramp where Jasper and Alice are waiting. I pull out a cig and light up smiling at Alice as she runs down the ramp meeting me halfway and jumping into my arms.
"Edward! I missed you. Can you believe it is another freakin' year? Oohh, I like the outfit it definitely says 'Local Bad Boy on Campus' Father Hamill is going to LOVE it. Oh, and I have a feeling you are going to meet someone today…she is important. Don't fuck it up."
"Breathe, Alice. I missed you too although I saw you yesterday. Thanks for the compliment on the choice of wardrobe, and I am not interested in meeting any girls. I like my 'dating' life the way it is – plentiful," I laugh.
"You mean a quick pull and tug with some mouth action" laughs Jasper.
" Fuck Off" I reply as Alice laughs so hard tears start falling down her cheeks.
"Oh speaking of your 'dates' here comes the leader of the fan club with her groupies" Alice says as I turn and see Lauren, Jess, Martha, and Destinie.
" Oh and look at the time. Hurry Jasper, we can't be late for Chapel" she smiles innocently.
"Don't you dare leave me here pixie" I breathe between clenched teeth. Alice laughs grabbing my arm and then grabs Jasper's.
"I would never leave you to fend for yourself my dear Edward. Who knows what might catch you or better yet what you might catch." Alice says laughing. " Now let's get going."
We walk the long way to Chapel and laugh as all the freshmen are staring silently at the small building that all of us start our day at. They aren't sure whether to go on in or wait. Jasper, Alice, and I go around to the side door and slip on in finding our seats. As if on some magical cue, the Chapel fills to capacity. I turn around and see Mike, Ben, Peter, James, Chris and the rest of the senior class take there places. Father Hamill steps to the front of the chapel gazing over in our direction. He catches my eye and I hold up my blazer that is in my lap. He shakes his head and smiles, then starts the beginning of the year welcome. I zone out. I mean really this is the same speech he gives every year. After the first year I heard it, I didn't need to be reminded – wear your blazer in the hall, be respectful, don't be a pain the ass, etc etc etc.
Suddenly there is a loud bang as the ornate wooden doors of the chapel slam shut. Father Hamill stops his speech glaring up to see what or better yet who has come late. The minute he sees who it is walking up the aisle his eyes soften.
"What the fuck?" I whisper to Jasper. "He never looks that sweet and innocent". Jasper laughs quietly and shakes his head. Alice leans over and whispers in my ear, "Look up. You might actually like what you see."
I slowly turn my head in the direction of Father Hamill's stare and my brain short circuits for a minute as it takes in the girl slowly walking to a seat on our side of the chapel. She is beautiful and blushing a bright crimson with her eyes downcast. I turn to Alice and notice that ever knowing glint in her eyes.
"Oh no!" I say to her as my brain slowly regains its power. "That is not who you were talking about, is it?"
She smiles slowly and nods.
"Oh hell no. She is way to quiet and innocent looking. I would eat her for a snack. Besides, she looks like a fly could scare the crap out of her," I whisper.
Alice just smiles and leans in quietly whispering, "Oh you just wait and see my friend. She is going to knock you on your ass and you will be asking for more."
I laugh at her and turn around to resume pretending like I am listening to Father Hamill's drone voice.
As soon as chapel is over, I start to head to the main building. Alice and Jasper follow behind me leaving me to my thoughts. My hand starts to twitch – never a good sign. I had hoped to make it through until lunch before I needed to appease the demons but it looked like a detour to my car was in order. I had 10 minutes to get there and then to class. I look over my shoulder at Jasper and Alice to tell them I will catch up later.
Alice looks at me with dark eyes, "Edward, no. Not yet. You have to wait till lunch. Just a little time with you before the 'pain in the ass' Edward appears. Please?"
I hunch over looking at the ground before I answer, "Can't wait Alice. My hands are already twitching and it is "pain in the ass Edward" as you so affectionately call him or suicidal/homicidal Edward. Your choice…"
Alice takes a deep breath and sighs, "Okay, but please be "you" by lunch."
Jasper takes a deep breath as if deciding to say something. He looks up at me with knowing eyes and just smiles. "See ya later Edward." He grabs Alice's hand and gently tugs her into the building.
I run to my car and slide into the driver's seat. Unlocking my glove compartment, I pull out my salvation. The demons laugh loudly and I can almost see them doing a happy dance in my head. "Fine," I grumble, "Here's a snack". I cut the crank with a razor and inhale into my nose the fine powder that keeps the demons happy so that I can pretend to function as a normal teenager. I slowly take a breath and lean my head back. As I close my eyes, the damn new girl appears in my mind. The demons look at her with promise – another possible sacrifice to their needs – and I internally growl at them. There is something about her that intrigues me, but I know better than to venture there. Very few know that extent of my damaged soul and I plan to keep it that way.
I lift my head glancing at the clock. Damn, I am going to be holy fuck late. I jump out of the car and head towards the building. Hopefully, I can sneak into class without being caught in the halls. I make it into class without getting caught in the hallways and give Ms. Clements a crooked grin as she glances my way and shakes her head.
"Nice of you to join us today, Edward. Glad you could grace us with at least 10 minutes of your presence today. Much more than I anticipated." She laughs and smiles at me.
"Not a problem. Least I could do on the first day of school at this fine institution." I smirk.
As the bell rings, Ms. Clements reminds us of our assignment due on Wednesday and I head to my next class. As I am sitting in Alternative Literature waiting for the bell to ring, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I look at the message from Alice "Be nice" is all it says. I wonder what the fuck she is talking about as I hear the door to the classroom open. In walks the new girl and as she looks around for a seat I sigh – of course the only seat open is next to me. Go figure that the fuck out. I swear the Fates are conspiring against me today.
She looks at me cautiously, and then sits down next to me. I move over a little to give her some room. The demons jump up and down excitedly in my brain thinking that catching innocence has never been this easy. I mentally push them into a cage and lock the fucking door snarling at them.
She pulls out a notebook and starts to write. Curious as to what she is writing I lean over to try and catch a peek. She flips her head around and looks at me. "If you want to know so bad just ask," she states.
"Who are you?" I snarl.
"Who the fuck are you?" she snarls back.
I stare and I must admit a little taken aback by her. Everyone at this school knows me – some biblically and some in other ways. I smile my famous smile and bow my head. "Edward Cullen at your service."
She snickers and slowly extends her hand. "Bella, Bella Swan. Pleased to meet you."
I shake her hand and this weird energy passes through me. I jerk my hand back convinced the crank had to have been laced with E for me to feel something like that. Weird though, nothing else feels any different. She smiles knowingly at me and goes back to writing.
"So what is it you are working so feverishly on?" I ask.
"Nothing you need to know about," she states quite softly. "Besides, just so you know, I am not one of your fan club nor do I need a personal tour of the school. But thank you anyway for the notice."
I stare at her in shock and before I can stop myself I grab her hand and force her to look at me. "Look little miss thing, I don't know who the fuck you think you are but no one talks to me like that."
She grabs her hand back and pulls herself into my space, "No one touches me like that. Back the fuck up Cullen before I back you up myself. I am not one of your little groupies and I will not bow at your feet as if you are some god. I will say this slowly so you understand – I do not want any confusion on your part. You. Do. Not. Scare. Me."
Suddenly my phone buzzes. I grab it and look at the message from Alice. "You mother fucker. I told you to be nice. Now I have to fix this. You will owe me "pain in the ass" Edward." I take a deep breath and really study the creature next to me.
She is beautiful with brilliant colored hair that looks like it has every shade of brown and red mingled together to form a new shade of crayola crayon. Her skin is white and she has dark circles under her eyes. Her eyes hold secrets – dark secrets and old tales. The demons are drooling looking at her imagining her as part of their next sexual meal with her laid out bare for the taking. I internally cringe. There is something about her that is above all that; above what me and my demons can give her.
I have totally zoned out all through class and when the bell rings, I stand and try and catch her. She is out the door before I can grab her. I sigh and head to lunch and the waiting pixie of death.
As I enter the cafeteria, Lauren slides up to me. She wraps her hands around my neck and tries to pull me into a kiss. I push her off quickly. " Back off Lauren. I am not in the mood for your shit right now."
She smiles, unable to take a hint, and says quietly, " Ok. See you after school then"
I continue walking towards where Alice and Jasper have seated themselves. As I get to the table, Alice grabs me by my shirt and slaps me.
"What the fuck Alice!" I grab the edge of the table to keep myself in check. She glares at me, hand raised to offer another hit.
"Do we need to have a come to Jesus meeting, Edward?" she says, clenching her jaw.
"Umm, I don't think so my dear pixie of death. Why would we?" I slowly state. I admit I am afraid of her when she gets in this mood. She could definitely kick my ass sideways and back.
"You were so mean to her. She is important and you were an ass. You just couldn't be nice like I asked. Hell, you should have just smiled that famous smile and kept your damn mouth shut." she mutters.
"Sorry, fuck. I didn't realize that she was so special, Miss Alice." I growl.
"Oh fuck off. You are a fucking twit with an ego the size of Atlantis. Just be nice from now on, especially tonight." Alice looks at me with her encompassing pouty face and bats her eyelashes.
I look to Jasper for help and he laughs, " Oh hell no. This is your fuck up. I am just along for the ride."
I slump into my chair and nod at the pixie. She steps from the table, dancing to the salad bar. I look up and she is talking to Bella. Bella laughs out loud at something Alice says and nods.
Alice bounces and claps her hands turning back towards our table. Bella follows with her eyes down. She slides into the seat next to me and looks at Jasper. "Hi Jasper. I didn't know you knew the 'King of the School' over here," she softly states nodding in my direction.
Jasper leans back in his chair and his laugh carries across the lunch room. Everyone stops and stares at us. Lauren and the other girls scowl at Bella. I growl, suddenly wanting to keep her away from their mangy claws and overly short plaid skirts and tight shirts.
Conversation picks up after that and suddenly we have agreed to meet Bella at Metro Dinner tonight around 8pm. As the bell rings signaling the parade of the sheep to the next class, I look at Bella and smile. She smiles back, pats my arm and leans into my ear.
" Don't fret sugar, I am sure one of your groupies who are trying to stab me in the back with eye daggers will help you relieve some of that tension you seem to be carrying."
I shiver as her words caress my ear. I look at her stunned and try and speak but nothing comes out. I grab my arm back and glare. I lean in slowly taking in her smell of jasmine and grin. "Don't worry sweetheart. You couldn't handle me in the first place."
She shakes her head laughing and heads to class. I stare after her wondering what the hell just happened and how in the fuck I ended up agreeing to hang out with her.
I grab Lauren as I am heading towards class and pull her into the bathroom near the gym. I slam her against the wall and she willingly opens her legs to me. "Oh yes, Edward. God I love it when you are like this" she says in a husky voice.
"Oh shut up and lift your damn skirt. This is going to quick and fuckin' hard" I grumble.
Her skirt comes up as I unbutton my khakis. I slam into her – no warning and fuck her hard against the wall. I get my release quick. I am pissed and she lets me take it out on her body. I know she doesn't cum but I don't give a fuck.
"Thanks Lauren. Good as always little slut. Now off to class" I laugh as I button up my pants.
She fixes her skirt knowing better than to question me. "See ya later Edward" she mumbles.
Fuck me. What the hell am I doing? Why am I like this? Why can't I just be normal?
Suddenly my hands twitch again and I sigh – that's why. The demons are too fucking strong. Taking a deep breath, I head to class and struggle to stay still. I can't skip the first day. Even I can't sweet talk myself out of trouble all the time. I try and focus on my next three classes of the day but the demons are talking and reminding me of the past. I grip my hands together, cutting into my palms to try and keep them at bay with the pain. It works a little – too bad I don't carry a razor into school. If I could just escape to the bathroom and pull a razor across my skin in slow symphony, they would shut up for awhile. As the last bell rings, I jump out of my seat and almost run out of the building.
Alice and Jasper meet me on the ramp. "I will pick you up at 7:30, okay?" I look at them to make sure it is alright.
Alice just smiles and nods at me. Jasper looks at me quietly, trying to gauge my mood. His eyes look to my hands and notice the twitching. He nods.
I head down the ramp and slide into my car. I start the car and pull around behind the Chapel. I pull out the crank and cut a few lines. The demons start pulling me into the darkness, as I try to hurry and get the powder up my nose. I finally pull it in and the demons laugh. You will never be good enough, Cullen. We own your ass. You will always be a slave to us sweet boy.
I put my head against the headrest, close my eyes, and wonder how the fuck I am going to survive tonight without a shitload of tweak, any new scars, and not either killing or fucking Miss Bella Swan.
Fuck me. I am so screwed.
