Disclaimer: I don' own Hetalia.
Things France isn't allowed to do:
1. I'm not allowed to help Denmark get a date with Finland.
- Sweden won't be amused and will resort to violence.
2. I'm not allowed to ask inappropriate questions concerning world relations during world meetings.
-Especially if they are about Russia.
-Or Germany.
3. I'm not allowed to tell Russia that since his name is so similar to Prussia's they are soul mates.
-That won't end well for Prussia.
-He is my friend and that should matter to me more than getting some smexy photos...but it doesn't.
4. I'm not allowed to use Germany's affection towards Italy for blackmail purposes.
5. I'm not allowed to help Hungary at all.
6. I'm not allowed to scream "Yuri" every time two female nations pass by.
-It will attract fan boys.
7. I'm not allowed to scream "Yaoi" every time two male nations pass by.
-It will attract fan girls.
8. I'm not allowed to give the meeting's location to fan girls.
-Because that's a horrible thing to do.
-It will backfire.
9. I'm not allowed to give Sealand sugar.
-England will send Australia to kill me.
10. I'm not allowed to give Kosovo sugar.
-Serbia will send Russia to kill me.
11. I'm not allowed to give Macedonia sugar.
-Bulgaria will send Belarus to kill me...if I'm lucky he may send America.
12. I'm not allowed to talk dirty to Finland.
13. I'm not allowed to start a fight between Hungary and Romania.
-It's not healthy for their neighbors.
14. I'm not allowed to talk about old times in front of any of the nations that were under Ottoman rule.
-They will become sad and send Russia after me.
15. I'm not allowed to say any lawyer jokes in front of Japan.
-Because they are not jokes and he knows it.
16. I'm not allowed to give America horror movies.
17. I'm not allowed to snick in his house and pretend to be a ghost.
18. I'm not allowed to release a second bull in the arena while Spain is being a toreador.
-Even if it makes England smile.
-It's not healthy for Spain.
19. I'm not allowed to tell panda jokes in front of Russia.
-He may get ideas.
20. I'm not allowed to put whine in the punch.
-Even if it makes it taste better.
-Even if it makes the party better.
-Even if it causes an orgy.
21. I'm not allowed to start a "Who can get more male Slavs for a week" contest between Hungary and Romania.
-It will turn into a hunting trip.
-Then it will turn into a bloodbath.
-The Balkans will run to Russia for help.
-Putting anyone in a situation in which they have to depend on Russia is just mean.
22. I'm not allowed to give Russia ideas for new victims.
-Even if the pics will be as smexy as Hell.
-I should respect the rites of others and not put their life at risk...still I want the pics.
23. I'm not allowed to purposely put syrup on England's hand and then volunteer to lick it clean.
24. I'm not allowed to pretend to be innocent.
-No one will believe me anyway.
25. I'm not allowed to teach the younger nations how to become perverts.
-I'm bad influence and will be hit.
26. I'm not allowed to make any comments on Ukraine's look.
-Russia will skin me alive.
27. I'm not allowed to even think about dating Macedonia.
-Because deep down Bulgaria cares about his brother...
28. I'm not allowed to even think about dating China.
-Russia will skin me alive.
29. I'm not allowed to dress up as a cat and seduce Greece.
30. I'm not allowed to say that the Slavs were married amongst each other during the Soviet period.
-Because it isn't true.
-Even if Russia likes the idea and shows prove.
31. I'm not allowed to continue stating that they were indeed married and got divorced due to Russia's kinky tendencies.
-Because they weren't married in the first place.
-Because Russia may actually believe me and try to remarry them.
32. I'm not going to lock Russia and Turkey in a closet.
-Even if the Balkans love the idea and back me up.
33. I'm not allowed to give fan girls some of Prussia's diaries.
-Even thou he has an entire library full of them.
34. I'm not allowed to make a croissant bakery, the only currency of which will be striptease.
35. I'm not allowed to make a statue of a naked England.
36. I'm not allowed to go to a meeting naked.
-Or request for the others to become naked as well.
-Because it's not ethical.
37. I'm not allowed to say anything about Napoleon in front of Russia.
-He will send General Winter after me.
38. I'm not allowed to make anyone eat ice cream off my vital regions.
- Its cruel...but smexy.
39. I'm not allowed to eat ice cream off anyone's vital regions.
-Oh, come on, why not? It's not cruel and it is smexy!
-I'm still not allowed to do it.
40. I'm not allowed to hit on the female nations.
-...And anyone is actually surprised that I go for men?
41. I'm not allowed to reproduce.
42. I'm not allowed to tell bedtime stories to Sealand.
-Or any of the other younger nations.
-Their big brothers will skin me alive when they are force to explain to their siblings about the birds and the bees.
43. I'm not allowed to go anywhere near the Middle East nations.
44. I'm not allowed to give Russia's email address to Belarus.
-That's just mean.
45. I'm not allowed to say "See you in hell" to the other nations.
-They may think that I will be their punishment and will cause chaos trying to build as many churches, or other religious temples as possible.
46. I'm not allowed to dress England up as a princes.
47. I'm not allowed to even think about Scotland.
48. I'm not allowed to tell Poland he is girly.
-It will hurt his feelings...even thou it is true.
49. I'm not allowed to clone Gilbert and let him keep the clone.
-One Gilbert is enough.
50. I'm not allowed to find any loopholes to any of the rules that were already written or will be written.
-But I'm still gonna.
-France-neesan is watching you.
I'm probably going to write more than ten chapters for this fic.
