After the bell rang and the hallways had cleared, Miles plopped down on an empty hallway bench and just took a minute to think. He knew he shouldn't be late to class, but it was the last semester of the year so the teachers were being a little less strict with the seniors. Besides, he couldn't bring himself to care about pre-calculus right now. He just needed some time to himself, some time to think. Ever since Tristan woke up, nobody had let him have any time to fucking think.
But Miles wasn't alone for very long. Just a couple of minutes later, he heard footsteps coming down the hallway, drawing nearer and nearer. Figuring it was probably a teacher or Simpson coming around the corner, Miles gathered his things and stood up to walk to class. Just as he turned the corner though, someone bumped into him.
"Oops, I'm sorry! I didn't- I didn't see you..." Lola cried, looking up from her cell phone. Her cheeks turned bright pink at the sight of Miles.
"No, it's okay," Miles said quickly, scratching his head. "My fault." Lola shrugged awkwardly and began to walk away, but Miles turned around. "What are you doing out of class?" he asked.
Lola still barely looked up from her phone. "Oh, um, I told Perino I had cramps. Really though, I just kind of wanted to get out of there- we're reviewing medicine in the Middle Ages and it doesn't exactly bring back good memories."
Miles stared at her in confusion, clueless as to what she was referring to. "Huh?"
"Never mind," Lola muttered quickly. Of course he wouldn't pick up on that reference. He wasn't there for that disaster of a presentation. He wasn't there for any of it. She stared up at the wall and noticed the "safe space" sign they were standing under. She chuckled softly under her breath. "This kinda feels like deja vu."
Miles looked over at the sign. "Yeah," he said quietly. He just stared at her for a second, remembering the wild ride that last semester had been. It was strange- he felt like he knew Lola so well... her mind, her fears, her dreams... her body... and yet, they couldn't possibly feel more like strangers right now. "It kinda does." He slumped down on the floor against the wall. After looking a litte hesitant, Lola slowly joined him. He glanced around the hallway to make sure no one was around- good. They were safe. The last thing Miles needed to do was add more fuel to the rumors- but for reasons he couldn't quite explain, he just really wanted to be near Lola right now. Even if they just sat in silence, there was something really comforting about her presence. Always had been.
Lola sighed. "I um, I hear you and Tristan got into a fight," she said quietly. She stared at the ground. "Was it... was it because of me?" Her eyes looked sad as she spoke, her face a mixture of guilt and uncomfortableness.
"No," Miles said right away. He knew that was a lie, but he didn't want to make Lola feel bad. After all, she wasn't the one who cheated on their boyfriend. "We just, ah..." He scratched his head, suddenly stumped for words. "I'm not a very good boyfriend," Miles shrugged. "I'm shit at relationships... always have been. I'm a total fuckup."
Lola guessed she was supposed to comfort him and tell him, no, of course not. But, well, it didn't seem like that was her role anymore. Now that Tristan was awake, what did Miles need her for? "But Tristan's better now, isn't he? So... so things should get back to normal soon. You finally got your boyfriend back Miles, isn't that what you always wanted?" She shrugged her tiny shoulders and offered him a weak smile, not knowing what else to say.
It was so weird to see him again like this, to talk to him like they were still pals and he hadn't put her through something traumatic as hell. She wished she could see him that way again, back when he was just Frankie's cute older brother that she'd occasionally wave to in the hall, not the guy who'd managed to take her virginity, knock her up, and break her heart all at once. If there was ever a clear end to Lola's innocence it was when she gave her heart to Miles Hollingsworth iii.
"That's what I thought too," Miles muttered. "That things would just go back to normal. But they're not. He's moody all the time, he needs help eating and getting dressed. Sometimes I feel less like a boyfriend and more like a babysit-" He stopped himself, not wanting to say the word baby to Lola. Other than their brief conservation before opening night where Miles more or less apologized for being kind of a dick, they hadn't discussed the whole pregnancy ordeal. And judging by the amount of awkwardness between the two of them, maybe it was better it stayed that way.
"Relax, you don't have to do the pity voice with me," Lola said. Ever since her abortion, Frankie and Shay had been treating her like some fragile little doll they had to whisper around. Like they thought Lola was going to hear the word "baby" and burst into tears of regret or something. She'd never felt that way, anyhow.
Miles smiled weakly, suddenly reminded of their little that needs salt and lime convo the night they hooked up. "Right," he muttered, blushing slightly. "Sorry."
Lola glanced at her phone. "I should... I should probably get back to class," she said quickly, standing up. "So should you." She smiled nervously, adding, "Teachers probably won't be using the pity voice on you as much this semester."
Miles chuckled under his breath. "Hey, um," he said, standing up alongside her, "do you wanna eat lunch together in the theater today maybe? We could rewatch the tapes of the play, laugh at our bloopers. I'm not really up for eating with Tris today."
Lola took a deep breath. When she returned to school, she was afraid of two options: one, that Miles would just ignore her existence, and two, that he would want to hang out again. She hung her head low, suddenly not wanting to even look him in the eye. "I'm sorry, miles, but... no. I'm not gonna do that again okay? I'm not gonna be the "other woman.""
Miles just stared at her for a second, a little surprised. To be honest, he wasn't used to being rejected. Even though in this case he almost certainly deserved to be. "Uh, technically you're the only woman."
Lola still didn't look at him. "You know what I mean. You should be with Tristan, okay? He needs you." And so did I, she thought to herself. "Besides, I don't think it's a good idea for us to spend too much time together. Franks still doesn't know about our history... and it's just... it's too hard. After, you know, what happened."
Miles nodded quietly. He really couldn't blame Lola. After what he'd put her through, he was lucky she was even speaking to him. There were so many things he wanted to say to her- I'm sorry; I didn't deserve you; I should have been there for you. But it only came out as "See you around, Lo."
