Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the world, but I'm grateful to SM for letting me play with them.
*Thanks for the favorites, follows, and reviews! It's highly motivating to know that someone's paying attention!*
Dear Embry,
You are absolutely in the top ten! In fact, don't tell, but I'd definitely put you in at least the top 5. Not telling who the other 4 are, though… :)
I'll send you an attached document with all your answers on it. Too boring to put in an email and you might just be able to print it out and turn it in as is! At least I hope for your sake you can. I included all the questions along with my answers, so your teacher need never know that you didn't type the whole thing up yourself!
Thanks for the Q story. See? This is why I miss you guys. I'm so busy in class or studying for classes that I never get to see stuff like that. Plus I don't really have a group of friends yet. I mean, I have friends...okay, acquaintances, really, but I haven't even been here a month. It's not that weird that I pretty much only hang out with my roommate and her friends, right?
And just like that, I confess that I am just as much of a loser here in sunny-ish northern CA as I was in not-so-sunny WA. I should try harder, I guess. But it's hard to start over again. Last time I went to a new school and made new "friends" I befriended a whole family of vampires. Oh, and some guys who wouldn't stop asking me out. Okay, Angela was fine, but really my friend choosing capabilities clearly deserve to be questioned. And before you get huffy, I didn't choose to be friends with you guys. Jake forced me to be social and then you all chose me. And really, how could I resist you all?
I should try harder, though. Making friends is all part of the college experience, I'm told. Le sigh.
Anyway, must go. I have a paper to write. (I ALWAYS have a paper to write! I could make it my voicemail message. "Hello, you've reached Bella's phone. Leave a message, because she's writing another damn paper." Ugh.)
Please keep writing to me even though you don't need my college girl insights anymore for your project. It makes me feel connected to home.
Miss you (and the other 4 of my top 5),
Bella
I really do miss them. La Push feels more like home than any other place I've ever lived. I can't tell either of my parents that, though, since I don't want to hurt their feelings. Although, Dad might agree with me. He spends almost as much time in La Push as I do.
As I did.
The pack pulled me into their messy, wonderful family, and I was happier there with them than I've ever been anywhere else.
College is so weird. It sort of forces you to be selfish, which I suppose was my natural state of being for a while. When I first moved to Forks, it was so nice to not have to be the dependable person in a household, that I swung a little too far the other way. As much as I cared for the Cullens, I let them take over my life completely. It's sort of like when you swim in the ocean all day. It's great, but you don't realize how exhausted you are until you drag yourself back on to the sand at the end of the day. That's a little what life with Renee was like. It was my life, so I didn't know any different, really. Coming to Forks and being enveloped by the Cullens was more like floating on a raft in a pool. It was easy. Too easy. But it was like I spent so much time on that raft, I forgot what a strong swimmer I was. Metaphorically, of course. I'm still trying to apologize to Charlie in as many ways as I can. I told so many lies and treated him so badly. Then using Jake the way I did. I would say it was unforgivable, except they've both forgiven me completely.
My name is Isabella Swan and I don't deserve the incredible people in my life. So, I will just endeavor to be more worthy of them. As easy as it is to be selfish here at school, I still need to find ways to reach out to other people. These emails with Embry help. I need to start looking for some clubs that focus on volunteering and service. Kill two birds with one stone maybe?
Tomorrow. I will look tomorrow. After I finish another damn paper.
She misses me! Okay and the other guys, too. But she misses me! And she wants me to write more!
I will play this cool.
I will not think about this while phased.
I will be chill.
I have a big, stupid smile on my face in the middle of the library.
I am the opposite of chill.
Dear Bella,
Collin and Brady spent all of patrol yesterday whining about how they missed your cookies and brownies. You spoiled those pups, you know. They pout at every pack dinner when Emily tries to give them rice krispie treats for dessert. I wouldn't be surprised if one of these days you end up with 2 teen wolves at your dorm begging you for baked goods. They may only be 14, but after listening to them the other day, I'm pretty sure they're willing to run all the way to CA just to see you again.
Please tell me you're coming home for Thanksgiving! If they have to wait all the way until Christmas, they're going to make Emily cry. You don't want THAT on your conscience do you? Seriously, though, you ARE coming home for your stupid pale face holiday, right? I know it goes against everything I'm supposed to be against, but please make Thanksgiving dinner! FEED ME! We can call it something else, so we don't offend my ancestors or anything. Maybe, "Hooray Bella is Home to Cook for Us" Day or "Natives are the Best" Day or just Feast Day. Anything, Bella. I will even decorate if you'll make me a turkey with gravy and stuffing and ohhhh.
I just got shushed by a librarian for moaning. I think she thought I was looking at something "inappropriate" on the computer. Ha! "No, Ma'am. Just thinking about the possibility of a feast!" And now she thinks I'm crazy. Oh, well. It's no worse than what most people around here think of "Sam's gang".
Bella, you don't need to stress about making friends. It'll happen. And even if it doesn't. Study hard and call or write any of us whenever you need. And remember, in an emergency any one of us can get to you in a day. A LONG day of running, but still. We're always willing to help out our favorite white girl. :) (Especially if she comes home in November and feeds us! Hint, hint, hint!)
Gotta go before I start moaning again and get kicked out!
Starving,
Embry
Dear Starving Embry,
I actually snorted from laughing so hard reading about the librarian thinking you might be looking at porn in the library. Unfortunately, I was sitting in class when I read your email, so my super lady-like snorting did not go unnoticed.
I wasn't sure about coming home for that hallowed holiday, "Natives are the Best! Day", but it seems that now I must. ;) I can't leave my puppies without their treats. I guess you can come to our feast, too. (What exactly are the traditional decorations for NATBD?)
After my little "I have no friends here" pity party, I was invited to an actual party by some girls on my floor. AND I even went! Are you so proud of me? There was terrible food and really loud music and sloppy drunk people, but it was kind of fun to not be super responsible for a couple of hours and instead just exist in the moment, you know? It was no bonfire with my favorite guys and girls, but it was okay.
Weird question: Are there shifters in other tribes? Because there are a couple of guys here who remind me an awful lot of my favorite Natives. I saw them at the party and kept trying to get closer to them, but they slipped out before I could get to them. Maybe they'll be at the meeting I'm going to tomorrow. It's for students interested in promoting Indigenous Language Preservation. (I know I'm totally stereotyping by assuming they might be there just because they look native, but I just...I guess it sounds dumb, but I have a feeling about them.)
Hey, you have a birthday coming up! The big 17, right? Too bad nothing fun happens at 17. I mean at 16 you get a driver's licence (and in your case, grow 8 inches taller, get uber muscles, and sprout fur), at 18 you can vote, be an independent adult, get married, etc. Nope. Nothing fun at 17. Sorry, pal.
Okay, I've got to go study up on my Quileute facts to be ready for tomorrow's meeting. If I end up being the only white girl there, I need to at least look like I know what I'm talking about. (I wonder if they know about the Quileute Language Revitalization Project? That's such a great thing your tribe is doing.)
Happy Almost Birthday, Embry Call!
Bella
A/N The Quileute Revitalization Project is a real thing and you can listen to the mp3 files as well.
