Charlotte, Laura, Katie and Emma had spent almost a year in Teletubby land. They were enjoying it immensely. Emma was dating Tinky-Winky – and they shared the handbag. Dipsy and Laura were secretly having it off – and Charlotte was married. To the tubby-toast machine. They were all having a lot of fun.

One day – Charlotte and Po went for a walk. Po giggled and was stupid, like she normally was. Charlotte was seeing how high she could kick the rabbits – Po wanted to be on her scooter, but Laura had smashed it over her head when Po guessed that Dipsy and Laura were having it off. Po wasn't very happy about that.

Charlotte asked Po what she thought about her husband – the tubby toast machine. 'Do you think he loves me?' she said. Po giggled – she didn't understand a word, the whack on the head with the scooter had damaged most of her remaining tubby-brain cells. 'Nooooo!' she said.

Charlotte kicked Po. 'Stupid crappy red…thing!' she said. 'What do you know about my marriage…piss off!'

Po walked off…and bumped into Laura – who was wearing Dipsy's big hat. Po ran away screaming – she was very afriad of Laura. Laura walked up to Charlotte 'Hiya freak!'

'Hi…'

'What's wrong with you?'

'I don't think my marriage is working out. I'm sick of tubby-bloody-toast.'

'Really?' Laura could tell that Charlotte was very upset. 'What do you think of my hat? Dipsy gave it to me.'

'Dipsy 'your lover' Dipsy?'

'Nooo…Dipsy 'green teletubby' Dipsy.'

'Everyone knows you two are having it off.'

'We are not…okay maybe we are. How did you find out?'

'Everyone knows.' Charlotte needed to go find a rabbit to kick. 'Bye…you useless stupid delinquent…' she mumbled, under her breath.

'Bye bye!' Laura cheerfully replied. 'See you later…I'm gonna go see where the other two are.'

It turned out that Katie and Emma were smoking…something. They were sitting on the grass and smiling. 'Hiya!' Emma said as Laura sat down next to them. 'Want some?'

'Where did you find those?' Laura said – as she accepted the joint.

'In Tinky-Winky's handbag.'

'Right…'

10 minutes later…

'WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE…A YELLOW SUBMARINE…A YELLOW PINK AND BLUE AND PURPLE AND PINK UNDERWATER NAVAL DIVING MACHINE!!!!!!!!!'

Katie screamed. She had been pretty quiet until Noo Noo had spiked the tubby-tustard.

'SHUT UP SLAG!' Shouted Laura. 'I can't hear myself not think.'

'I feeeeeeeeeeeel sick…'

'Do I look like I give a shit? No. I don't.'

'I'm gonna throw uuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!'

'Well do it quietly.'

'Okay.' Katie pulled of Laura's hat and threw up in that. Just as Laura was about to do something seriously violent…Charlotte came in the doorway. 'I've made a decision.' She said – seriously.' 'I'm…'

She walked up to her husband, the tubby toast machine. 'I'm leaving you. I want a divorce.'

Everyone was silent…then – the tubby toast machine spat out a round piece of tubby toast. It flew across the room, and smashed a window. Charlotte started to shout. 'There's no need to get violent!'

Laura started laughing…you married a toaster!!'



















More coming soon, will Charlotte split up with the toaster? Will Emma realise she is going out with an airhead? Will Katie ever find out who spiked the tubby-tustard, and will Laura accidentally put her hat on?

Who knows? Apart from me…who should be revising for her exams.

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