Disclaimer: "If you're still accepting, "We would make the best couple." "You mean the worst couple." "Exactly." for freezerburn because they would totally say this."
Fuck yes they would.
Yang pulled out her scroll, activating the camera so she could check her reflection, running a hand through her unruly blonde mane to make sure it had that windswept look without turning into a rat's nest and adjusting her cream colored top to, ah, ensure it was advertising her assets. She was pulling out all the stops today; it was make it or break it time, do or die, the last round up, the-
"Are you sure she's going to be here?" Her best friend raised a brow, looking up from her book briefly. The Faunus was seated on a bench behind her, the two of them having effectively staked out the park for a solid hour in preparation. It was actually Blake's idea for them to do that, seeing as the blonde's plan consisted of showing up maybe ten minutes early and bumping into her target.
Which, really, was still the plan, but being at the park far earlier gave Yang the chance to really plan it out while looking around, taking note of the well traveled sidewalk and the vendors that had shown up for the beautiful spring day. It wasn't too hot- which was unfortunate, because the blonde was pretty sure rocking her skin tight tank top would get a better reaction, and she could always splash herself with some water if things got desperate- and the light breeze certainly made the day feel almost perfect. With a little luck, it would get even better, but Yang was trying not to get ahead of herself.
"Yeah, I'm sure; she sticks to her schedule." She flicked off the scroll's camera, checking the time briefly before shoving it into the pocket of her light jacket. Being a bike messenger, Yang often used the park as a quick cut through when head across town, and more than once she'd spotted a woman who looked to be about her age in and around the park.
She had to be some sort of business type. Crisp white pantsuits, or modest skirts with high heels, occasionally calf or thigh high boots, she was a woman who meant business, with sharp blue eyes and white hair always pulled into an off center ponytail- she was just a dream in the looks department, but what honestly caught Yang's attention initially was her complete refusal to take shit from anyone. A few months ago, the blonde was on her way to a delivery when she heard the woman telling off some blue haired punk who'd done something- and she may never know exactly what- and earned himself an earful. There was one sentence in particular, something about the guy being a 'Neanderthal nutjob with next to no nominal appeal', that forced Yang to stop pedaling so she could laugh without falling off her bike. Ever since, the blonde would actively look around whenever she passed through the park, and she'd gotten a feel for when the woman would appear and the times usually changed except on Fridays, like today.
Every week, without fail, the woman would come right around lunchtime with a sandwich from a deli down the street, sit on the bench nearest the big old oak, and enjoy her lunch while thumbing through some portfolio or another. Between a quarter after noon and half past the hour, she'd show, sit for exactly forty-five minutes, and then leave, and Yang only knew that because of how often she had to cut through the park while the streets were gridlocked thanks to midday traffic.
But this Friday? This Friday she had off, which meant she was totally free to at least try getting the woman's number, if not her attention. Yang had even cajoled her best friend into coming along for 'moral support', mainly because, in the event she crashed and burned, Blake would find a way to make light of the situation and help soothe her wounded pride.
"Okay, so, I should totally bump into her, right? Just, casually walk, then 'oops, I'm sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going!' and just go from there, right?"
"Why are you asking me this?" The Faunus looked up from her book again, ears drooping slightly. "Aside from 'the really pretty business lady in the park', I know nothing about this woman."
"Yeah, but you're always reading romance novels!" Yang pointed at the one in her friend's hands as proof. "How do you not have any ideas for me?"
"Because this?" She shook the book slightly. "This is fiction. And this." She gestured around them. "This is real life. They are two entirely separate worlds."
"Then what's the point of reading?" The blonde furrowed her brows, setting her hands on her hips.
Blake shrugged before going back to her reading. "I'm not too fond of the real world, obviously."
Rolling her lilac eyes, Yang scanned around the park and stopped dead when she saw the very woman she'd been waiting for walking towards the park. Knee length skirt with high heels, a light, white jacket, and a white blouse beneath it, with her briefcase in one hand and a little container in the other, head tilted up as others scurried to get out of her way- now that was a power walk, and more than a few people in the area noticed it.
"I'm guessing that's her," Blake said from the bench, making a soft noise in the back of her throat. "She's cute."
"She's gorgeous and you damn well know it." Yang muttered tilting her head side-to-side to loosen up her muscles.
"You're asking her out, not preparing for a cage match."
"Blakey, don't knock my process." The blonde took a deep breath, reevaluating her surroundings. "Okay, new plan, I'm going to wait until she sits down, then go talk to her." Her friend made some sort of affirmative noise, probably having returned to her book after making her observation, but that was besides the point. She needed to focus; someone who looked as serious as that probably wouldn't appreciate some bumbling routine, so she'd have to change things up. Be smooth, be cool; she could do this. "Alright, she's sitting down. I'm gonna go talk to her."
"Go get 'er, tiger," Blake said with a healthy dose of disinterest.
She didn't let it faze her. What was the worst thing that could happen? Getting told 'no' wasn't that big of a deal, so she might as well take a shot. And, hey, she was pretty charming, if she did say so herself, so maybe this would work out! She'd never know without trying.
Still, there was a little bit of hesitance on her part as she got closer to the bench. The woman was obviously busy pouring over some paperwork, blue eyes following along intently while she chewed her sandwich. Maybe disturbing her wasn't the best idea… ah, what the hell, she was already over here.
"Excuse me," she said, bringing out her brightest smile as blue eyes lifted and met hers. "Do you happen to have the time?"
The woman shook her head slightly, setting her sandwich down and pulling back her right sleeve to look at the face of her watch. Mentally, Yang noted that she was likely a lefty and a bit traditional, so she once again amended her plan of approach. "It's twelve twenty-three."
"Oh, really?" The blonde frowned, crossing her arms under her chest. "Huh, I must be really off, then."
Although appropriately suspicious, the woman took the bait. "What time did you think it was?"
"Well, after looking at you, I thought for sure it was fine o'clock." Her lips pulled into a smirk as the woman blinked in surprise.
"Was that a pick-up line?"
"I dunno, did it sweep you off your feet?" Yang let out a chuckle, flipping her hair over one shoulder, partly to get it out of the way and partly because flexing a bicep or two never hurt her chances before.
"This is ridiculous." Despite the somewhat offended tone, the blonde didn't miss how quickly the other woman's gaze deviated to her arms and back, as if just now noticing the definition in her muscles. She might not be an outright musclehead but Yang spent more than a few days at the gym and her job definitely helped with staying in shape. "You're actually hitting on me, aren't you?"
"Yup. Did I leave any bruises?" She stepped forward and cocked her hip, tilting her head just so to accentuate the height difference. Even if she were standing, the blonde was taller than the businesswoman, and something about the way those blue eyes met hers hinted that it was well noted. "'Cause I can definitely kiss 'em better." She winked, then leaned back, sure to give the woman her space while delivering her request. "'Course, I do ask for payment up front for any medical services rendered, so how about dinner on me, sometime next week? How's that sound?"
"Don't you have something to deliver?" The woman snapped back, though dismay overcame her slight scowl as the words left her mouth while Yang's brows rose.
"Oh ho ho! So you recognize me!" Carefully, because she didn't want to make the businesswoman uncomfortable and she really wanted to capitalize on the opportunity, the blonde circled around to the unoccupied side of the bench and sat down, crossing one leg over the other and watching the other woman. "Didn't know I had an audience."
"I don't believe that for a second," the woman replied, huffing and straightening out her jacket. "With that uniform of yours, I doubt there's anywhere you can go without someone becoming distracted. I have half a mind to fund a research project into how many traffic accidents you cause just crossing the street."
That sounded suspiciously like a roundabout compliment but Yang wasn't about to let it slide; she really hadn't thought the businesswoman she always snuck glances at while passing through might be doing the same towards her, so she might as well get some mileage out of it. "Bright yellow is a safety color."
"I'm not talking about the color and you know that." The woman sighed, raising her left hand- definitely a lefty- to rub at her temple. "At any rate, who put you up to this?"
"I did," she replied, shrugging. "I told myself, 'ya know, I should ask that gorgeous businesswoman from the park out sometime, see what she says' and, well, here we are." Yang laughed, scooting a little closer. "So, what'd'ya say, Princess? How about it?"
The woman looked at her and, now that she was up close and stationary, the blonde could see the faint traces of a scar running across the woman's left eye. "You know nothing about me."
Well… that wasn't a rejection, so she scooted a little closer, noting that the woman noticed what she was doing and made no move to stop her or move away. That had to be a good sign, right? "Yeah, see, the point of going on a date is so you can get to know the other person, so, should I take that as a yes?" She held out a hand. "My name's Yang, by the way. It's great to finally talk to you."
"How long have you been staging this ambush?" The woman narrowed her eyes, though she did shake the blonde's hand. Her grip was solid- not strong, but definitely not dainty- and Yang could just barely feel the roughness of a callous or two before the hand withdrew. "And, as much as I'm going to regret confirming this, yes, I am who you think I am, so just get on with it."
Yang raised a brow and spread her hands. "Look, Princess, I don't meant to knock your ego or anything, but I honestly don't know your name and I'm being pretty serious over here. Can't you throw me a bone?"
The woman watched her for a moment, those keen blue eyes seeking out any hint of deception and finding absolutely none. "Weiss, alright? My name is Weiss."
"Well, it's very Weiss to meet you!" She smiled, chuckling at the exasperation showing plainly in the other woman's expression. "Look, I can tell you're skeptical about actually going on a date with me, so how about a compromise?" Yang pulled out her scroll. "Let's exchange numbers. We can text, call, get some chemistry going and then go out on a date. How's that for a plan?"
"You are nothing if not persistent." Weiss noted, running a hand through her bangs. "I don't see what benefit this holds for either of us. It'll just be a waste of time." Blue eyes scanned her form. "I'll admit you're attractive but that's hardly a basis for any relationship."
"No, but, c'mon, we know more about each other than just our looks." The blonde set her scroll in her lap and started counting off on her fingers. "Like, you already know I'm persistent, and funny, and charming-"
"Laying it on thick, aren't you?"
"And maybe a little full of myself." She chuckled, jerking her head to the side. "And you know I've got a physical job and that I stay in shape. See, that's more than just 'being attractive'. And what I do know about you?" She started counting off again. "You're serious, goal oriented, you like things a certain way, and you enjoy the fresh air." Yang let out another chuckle. "I mean, I'm pretty sure someone like you doesn't actually need to walk anywhere; you just do it because you can, right?"
"You're… surprisingly astute." The woman blinked before shaking her head, leaning back against the bench. "Still, I don't see anything there that would indicate compatibility."
"Are you kidding?" Yang sat forward, smiling as wide as possible. "We would make the best couple!"
"We would make the worst couple."
"Exactly!"
Weiss frowned, shaking her head. "How does that even make sense?"
The blonde laughed, leaning forward and lowering her voice enough that the other woman had to lead towards her to hear. "See, 'best' and 'worst' are subjective, but you just agreed we would be a couple, and that means we're on the same page. There's your compatibility." She winked, straightening up and speaking normally. "So, really, the only way to see which one of us is right about the subjective part is to give 'us' a shot. So, how about it?"
The woman sat back, a thoughtful expression on her face as she hummed. "Alright. Give me your scroll." Mentally cheering, Yang obliged, watching with anticipation as the woman typed in a number. She considered just leaving- if it was a fake, then she'd just shrug it off- but Weiss quickly instructed that she send a text right then so she could save the number properly. "I hope you realize I'm not agreeing to a date, not yet. You'll have to impress me again before I let you have that reward."
"Oh, so I already impressed you, is that it?"
"Yes." Weiss smirked, sliding the forgotten documents into her briefcase and collecting up her half eaten sandwich. "It takes an impressive amount of obliviousness not to recognize Weiss Schnee while you're sitting in the middle of Willow Schnee Memorial Park. Hopefully, your next attempt will be a little more… flattering."
With that, the businesswoman stood and walked away, leaving a dumbfounded blonde in her wake, half because, wow, she didn't even think that Weiss would be the Weiss Schnee, and half because… well… it was nice watching her leave.
"Guess I have some research to do." She muttered, heading back to the bench where Blake sat, still reading her book. Either the Faunus had no idea how well things had gone or she was trying her hardest to finish the last pages before being roped into helping her best friend out.
Either way, Yang Xiao Long had a long road ahead of her if she was going to be proven right and, in this particular instance, she definitely wanted to be on the right side. There simply wasn't any other option left!
Author's Note: THE PUNS CONTINUE. NO APOLOGIES.
