Ask and you shall receive! Thank you for the kind reviews, I hope this satisfies your wishes. Its not really funny however, I couldn't imagine Sheppard singing a jaunty little song, although I did think of 'whistle while you work' or 'it's raining men'. Lol. So yeah I apologize but this really is a story of pain.

GUILTY

Two days after Rodney's little 'outburst' in Elizabeth's office, Sheppard still could not talk. McKay and Beckett had both summarized that the device Sheppard had foolishly activated was some sort of emotional filter. Rodney had sung his heart out because he was angry and upset with John after John's relapse back on the planet of the idiotic ancient descendents. Seriously though, who wouldn't be angry if the love of your life had trouble keeping it in his pants! It wasn't like he didn't get great sex back on Atlantis, Rodney was a very giving and loving partner! Not that anyone but Sheppard knew that, of course.

Sheppard was moping about. Their really was no other word for it, he was moping. Like the petulant teenager he was (inside). McKay was sick of it, they had tried everything, and I mean everything. Sheppard needed to experience some intense emotions to trigger a sing song. As soon as he did he would be able to talk again and get back to being the military commander of Atlantis. Instead of the mardy, fed up, and pissed off with everyone in general, person he was presently. Beckett had done every test conceivably on both Sheppard and McKay but found no physical reason for the muteness or the singing. McKay had tried scaring Sheppard, creeping up on him to trigger a rendition of 'hero' or 'man, I feel like a woman' but to no avail. The marines had tried to get their CO to sing by ignoring orders to get him annoyed. It was beyond a joke. Hell, even a super blowjob with 'the man in black' playing in the background hadn't helped.

Sheppard walked forlorn into the mess, trying desperately to think of a solution to his problem. He was beginning to feel like a freak. Everyone knew that his cure was simply a release of pent up emotions, but John being John, kept his hidden. So well hidden in fact that even he couldn't seam to find them. He was really pissing Rodney off too. McKay was taking it personally because as Sheppard's lover surely he should be able to get some emotions to surface. But that wasn't the problem and John knew it. Rodney made him feel loved, good about himself and worthy of affection. When Rodney looked at him, he was more that just some flyboy, more than a pretty face, more than a gene. More than a screw up. When Rodney looked at him, he was wonderful. There were no negatives to those emotions, and John suspected that it was the negative ones that would be needed to rid him of this curse. The only problem being he didn't like negative emotions, that's why they were so well hidden. He suppressed them, locked them away when they couldn't hurt him. Except in his subconscious, in his dreams; his nightmares. He had to admit he'd of thought that Rodney, self proclaimed genius would have worked that out by now.

He seated himself in a far corner away from the rest of the eating masses. He played with his food, not really hungry and contemplated what was needed to get him back on active duty. He point blank refused to see Heightmeyer, but if he couldn't work this out himself then Elizabeth and Carson would force him. Rodney strolled over and joined him, coffee mug in hand. He listened as Rodney talked about the device and how the science dept instead of trying to fix it were trying to name it. Name it, huh, I bet Ford would have given it some really dorky name like the sing-o-matic or some such. As his thoughts turned to his old 2CI he felt his chest tighten. He dropped his fork with a clatter and fisted the fabric of his t-shirt over his heart.

"John? John! What's wrong?" McKay stood and came around to kneel beside him as his heart beat faster and faster, and then before he could stop it, the words spilled from his mouth. Nothing like the original song however, these words were haunted, seared with pain and grief.

"I feel guilty, my words are empty, No signs to give you, don't have the time for you"

Rodney gasped besides John and helped him to his feet. John stood shakily his hand laying flat on the table; his face contorted with… guilt.

"You say I'm heartless, and you say I don't care, I used to be there for you, you've said I seem so dead, that I have changed, but so have you"

The whole mess had now frozen eyes wide with shock. Elizabeth and Carson who had been sat by the door discussing Sheppard's condition both stood and stared at the pain in the man's voice.

"Guilty (woah), guilty I feel so, Empty (yeah), empty you know how to make me feel"

Sheppard's face was flushed red with embarrassment, a lone tear making it way down his left cheek, burning the skin underneath.

"I put a shield upon you, I didn't mean to hurt you, would've only poisoned your mind, Never meant to make you cry"

Sheppard gripped the sides of the table for support, his lover standing beside him unsure of how to comfort his grieving friend.

"You've been so thoughtless, I can see right through you, You used to be there for me, don't you leave and say goodbye, Cause you have changed, but so have I"

John refused to make eye contact with anyone as he continued his pained song, damn ancients just couldn't leave well alone, could they?

"Guilty (woah), guilty I feel so, Empty (yeah), empty you know how to make me feel"

Carson and Elizabeth regained themselves slightly and began to walk slowing across the mess towards John and Rodney, Carson having already contacted the infirmary to tell them, that they may well be needed soon if the expression on Colonel Sheppard's face was anything to go by.

"I never thought that the time and the distance, between us made you so much colder, I'll carry the world on my shoulders"

Elizabeth had never heard the song before but after hearing the lyrics she decided that they probably fitted her military commander rather well. She reached the table where John stood and noticed the death grip his hands had on it. Sheppard's body language screamed at her, he was clearly beyond shame.

"Guilty (woah), guilty I feel so, Empty (yeah), empty you know how to make me feel"

With his song finished, Sheppard raised his head, tear tracks visible on his flushed cheeks. It was Rodney who put two and two together, "Ford, naming things." He said, simply. Elizabeth gasped, she knew that Ford disappearance had been hard on John but she had no idea that his guilt ran so deep. Sheppard nodded. Rodney reached out and touched his shoulder to offer some comfort, some solace. But John shrugged him off. He needed to be alone right now and in a mirror of Rodney's reaction to public singing, he ran.