Some Things You Can't Change
Chapter 2: Peace Is An Illusion
(flashback)
Shinji opened the door to Misato's apartment. He spent the rest of the previous day wandering aimlessly around park and other places to think. He couldn't quite grasp what his mind was telling him, what bothered him even more was his heart wasn't even helping him- it was confused too. At an age of 15 years old, you really can't expect him to understand the complexities of life- let alone to understand the intricacy of women- especially one Asuka Langley Sohryu. She puzzled him to no avail; pleasant one moment, aggravating at another. This was what he realized when he and Asuka got into another argument yesterday. Everything was going on pretty well until it got a little bit too… intimate.
"I won't run away, Asuka. Not this time,"
"I'm home," he called out to the inhabitants of the apartment. Shinji felt a strangle tingle run down his spine- an unpleasant tingle.
The Katsuragi residence was awfully quiet.
"Misato? Asuka? I'm home!"
No answer.
It was then that Shinji heard faint whimpering inside Misato's room. Curiosity killed the cat; Shinji went over to Misato's room to investigate further, he would have to deal with Asuka later.
"Misato? Are you alright?"
Stupid question really, Shinji got no answer. Worried, he stepped inside of the room. There he saw Misato, kneeling down on the floor, clutching her arms and rocking herself, silently weeping as if trying to hide her tears from the world's prying eyes.
"…m- Misato?" This was bad- Shinji could feel something was up. There was definitely something amiss here.
"Shinji…." She looked up at him, her eyes almost telling shouting out to him a thousand different kinds of apologies.
"She's gone… she went back to Germany!"
The curtain call had begun.
(end flashback)
"Asuka!"
Shinji woke up sweating, his whole body drenched with his own sweat, the sheets of his bed messed all messed up. It was 3:30am, the rest of Japan still probably in a deep slumber. Nightmares haunted Shinji's sleep every night. Losing the further interest in his bed and thoughts of going back to sleep, he decided to get up and get some water.
"Must this happen every night?" he muttered to himself as he sleepily trudged to the kitchen, fetched himself a glass of water. Shinji took a sip of his drink and settled himself near the kitchen counter. He searched the contents of the counter for his trusty tool for decompressing- a pack of cigarettes.
Shinji studied his surroundings as he lit himself a stick and took a lengthy drag out of it. It seems that his cleaning skills haven't been all that rusty; the kitchen tools in their proper drawers, cleaned dishes and dining materials neatly placed back to their containers. The same went for the rest of his house- books properly lined up and stacked on their proper shelves, no visible trace of dust on the table tops, no sign of used articles of clothing that used to be scattered across the room. His collection of musical instruments lined together properly, nestling peacefully on their own music stands, a vintage 1956 cherry red Fender Stratocaster electric guitar, a 1973 Fender Rhodes electric piano and finally his most prized possession; his mother's cello.
'This place looks so barren compared to Misato's apartment before' he thought. Although in this apartment he had all the room for his stuff, it severely lacked something that he used to have back then at Misato's place- company.
Shinji glanced at the wall clock by the kitchen- it was 5:30 in the morning. "Well, it's about time I started a new routine," he said to himself as he started to prepare breakfast for himself.
"Attention: The plane from Leverkusen, Germany had just arrived,"
"Come on! Quick! So she'll see us better!" the brown-haired woman egged on her companion as she snaked through the think mass of strangers flocked in Tokyo-3's airport. She stood a good 5 feet and 6 inches. She looked fairly attractive; her hair tied down in a ponytail, she wore a yellow collared shirt and denim jeans.
"Do I really have to be here, Hikari-chan? I think you got the wrong Stooge to come with you!" her companion whined.
Hikari halted and turned around to face her companion. "Quit being a Smart Alec, alright? Give her a chance, who knows she might just be more pleasant to you guys now! Just be nice, alright, Touji?" Hikari pleaded. She gave her companion a warm smile and a quick peck on the lips to further encourage her companion.
"Fine. But I'm only doing this for you!" Touji crossed his arms defiantly and gave Hikari a narrow stare. Hikari on the other hand gave him a stern look. It's pretty obvious who lost this battle, Touji let out a sigh.
"Hikari!" called a familiar female voice. Touji's insides seemed to have churned a little upon hearing the voice. 'The voice of my deepest nightmares!' he thought bitterly to himself as he watched his lovely companion run towards a familiar redhead.
"Oh my god, Asuka! It's been too long!" Hikari squealed with delight before she hugged her long-time best friend eagerly.
"I have to agree! I missed you!" Asuka replied, returning her friend's gesture as warm as she received it. Upon breaking their embrace, Asuka noticed Hikari's companion, Touji.
"I see you brought a Stooge with you," she told Hikari as she pointed to Touji. Being a good 3 inches taller than Asuka (5'9"), Asuka noticed the physical changes that Touji had manifested; although still sporting the similar hair style, his face had become more chiselled, the build of his body was showed more definition through the simple brown shirt that he had on.
"Well, it's his duty as my fiancé!" Hikari explained proudly as she flashed her engagement ring to Asuka and beckoning Touji to come closer.
"It's been a long time, Sohryu," came Touji's greeting, trying to sound as civil as possible. Asuka regarded him for a while then gave him a small smile.
"It has been, Sto- Suzuhara. I guess it can't be helped, I wish the both of you luck on your up coming wedding!" she told the couple as they started to walk towards the airport's exit.
"Thank you! We'll be expecting you there at our wedding! You're my bride's maid!"
"Of course, I'll be there! It will be an honor!" she smiled at her friend.
The front door of the Katsuragi residence still felt so familiar and inviting to Shinji as it did for him 8 years ago. He inhaled deeply as he pressed the room's bell, signalling its owner of its visitor's presence.
"Be there in a sec!" came a man's sleepy voice as Shinji heard slow and heavy footsteps approach the front door. In a matter of seconds the door opened, revealing a half-asleep Kaji, wearing an old shirt and boxer shots with his hair all tied up in a messy ponytail.
"Hello Kaji! Sorry to bother you! I know its a tad bit too early in the morning," Shinji raised a hand to wave at his surrogate father figure then used the same hand to scratch the back of his hear- his own way of easing awkwardness at times.
"Ah it's just you, Shinji! You're always welcome here! Come on in, I'm about to start preparing breakfast!" Kaji motioned the brown-haired boy to go in to the apartment.
"Who was it?" came a female's voice from the room to Shinji's left as he entered his old residence. He instantly knew the owner of this voice upon hearing it. 'Tadaima' he thought as felt the familiar air of Misato's apartment engulf him. 'This place is host to so many memories… too many'
"It's Shinji, I invited him to have breakfast with us," Kaji replied as he went to the kitchen to start preparing breakfast. "You can make yourself comfortable, kid. You can play with Mica if you want, she's in her room," Kaji told him.
"Hello Shinji! It's so nice of you to drop by!" Misato emerged from her room, wearing her traditional home clothes- a yellow sleeveless shirt and short denim shorts.
"I got a letter from NERV yesterday. You have any idea what's going on?" Shinji handed Misato the letter he receive from NERV last night when he arrived home. Misato's expression darkened as she examined the letter Shinji gave her.
"So, it is true… Ritsuko called me a couple of days ago. She told me about this organization named SEELE. They used to fund NERV's researches. Apparently, they were the ones that wanted Third Impact and the ones that sent the JSSDF to raid our facility," she explained to Shinji as her husband came out of the kitchen with the breakfast he cooked.
"Apparently, they all came back after the whole ruckus with Instrumentality. Ever since day one, they've been planning for a take two to finish off what they started," Kaji added.
"But, they got what they wanted, right? They're one already with those people who chose to stay in the sea of LCL!" That was a good point. Why would SEELE want to go back? Kaji was prepared for this.
"True, they got part of what they wanted. But when you rejected Instrumentality, you made them look like they made a fool out of themselves. You gave everyone a choice to reject the superficial reality that they were given. SEELE wanted everyone—every single individual to be part of the next evolutionary step for mankind," Kaji explained.
"More like a leap. An abnormal leap," Misato grimly added. "They wanted a certain level of enlightenment that couldn't be achieved in this time,"
"The nature of men compelled them to be as selfish as they were. Men are never contented with what they possess. They will continue to search for answers and whatever it is that they need to do to sate their overwhelming desire of self-fulfilment," Misato's husband finished off as he went to what used to be Asuka's room to call out their daughter, Mica.
"According to Ritsuko, intelligence from the UN got hold of this information as they spotted Keel Lorenz, the head of SEELE, and several other men in a 5-star hotel in St. Petersburg," Misato added as she started helping herself with breakfast
Their conversation was abruptly stopped as Misato and Kaji's little daughter came out of her room.
"Uncle Shinji!" the little kid called out excitedly as she ran towards the brown-haired boy. Their kid, to Shinji's point of view was a very strong reminder of an old friend of his—long black hair and deep blue eyes like her father's. What surprised him though was what the girl had worn on her hair. "Look, Uncle Shinji! I found them yesterday in my room!" the girl pointed to a pair of red A-10 clips that she had on her hair. Wit her long hair and her blue eyes, she was a spitting image of a young Asuka Langley Sohryu. If only she was a redhead…
"Like what you see, eh Shinji?" Misato teased as she scooped up her daughter for an embrace. Shinji, a little flushed, reddened at the comment given to him. "Don't worry, kid! She's only 4 years old! She can't hurt you like her look-alike!" Kaji teased as he prepared her daughter's food on her plate.
Shinji did his best to recover from this as fast as he can and continued their previous discussion. "So, with SEELE's return and NERV's reactivation, would it be safe to say that…" he trailed off as his insides began to squirm at the thought of mentioning her name out loud.
"Yep, she should be back here to today, if my memory serves me right,"
'Tokyo-3 hasn't changed a single bit' Asuka thought to herself as she stared through the window of Touji's car. "So, how is everyone?" she asked.
"Well, Misato and Kaji got married a year after you left. They have a 4-year old daughter now if you don't know. She's starting to look a little like you, you know!" Hikari replied as Touji let out a snicker, "Yeah, poor Shinji!" that earned a good whack in the head from Hikari.
"Now that NERV's operational again, I believe that their daughter might stay with us quite a lot since both Kaji and Misato would be very busy with work soon…" Hikari added.
"And what of the other Stooge?" Asuka asked once more.
"Kensuke? Well, as much as you wouldn't want to believe, he lost his love for the military toys after coming back from the sea of LCL," Touji was the replied to this question. "He pursued a career of Psychology instead. In fact now, one of his clients is a dear friend of ours," he added as his voice sounded darker as he went on.
Asuka noticed the change in Touji's mood as she gave Hikari a questioning look. Hikari let out a sigh and gave Asuka an apologetic look. "You know, there some things that changed a lot since you left,"
Asuka knew this too well.
"Shinji," hesitating for a moment, Asuka decided to ask, "How is the baka?"
"I haven't been able to talk to him recently. He's been detached for quite some time now. I was able to have a chat with Kensuke though like a couple of weeks ago. He told me Shinji's been busying himself with a lot of things lately; pursuing his music and all. He's actually built quite a strong reputation already with the local scene here,"
"That's good for him then. He's always had the gift for music." Asuka replied before letting out a barely audible sigh.
"It should be. But whenever I see him, I can't help but feel that there's something that's constantly bothering. It's not really a mind boggler if you'd ask me," Touji added as he eyed Asuka for a moment before setting his sights back on the street.
"You mean because I left?" Asuka inquired, fearing the possibility of the damaged she caused the already damaged boy she left behind.
"More like because you left him, buddy" Touji pointed out.
Seeing the tension slowly rising to an uncomfortable level, Hikari decided that it was time for her to butt in. "Come on, we can discuss this issue some other time! It's too heavy for a first day discussion!"
"Major Katsuragi, what's the status on our pilots?" the now-Supreme Comander Fuyutsuki asked as he walked with the major through the halls of the NERV headquarters.
"The Second Child just arrived in the airport and was welcomed by the Fourth Child and his fiance, Ms. Horaki. I reckon that she will be staying with Ms. Horaki for the time being. We can expect her to report for duty tomorrow at 0800hours," the major reported as she scanned through the files of their current Eva pilots.
"Very well, what of the Third?" inquired the commander.
"The Third Child came by to my apartment this morning, I had been able to inform him of the information we received from the UN. He told me that he might call us tomorrow if he feels that he is ready to face NERV again,"
"Very well," the commander rubbed his chin slightly with his index finger and middle finger as they walked, thinking of his next question for the major. "How are the preparations for the Evangelions going?"
"According to Dr. Akagi, the s2 engines have been installed on Unit 01 and Unit 03. The mechanics have just finished the final preparations for Unit 02 and they shall prep it for an s2 engine upgrade tomorrow at 0700hours,"
"Wonderful. Have the Second and Fourth Child run through a refresher course once they get here tomorrow. Shall the Third Child come and participate, have him come up to my office for a word,"
"Understood,"
"That is all. Dismissed," The major then walked to her office, leaving the commander, Kozou Fuyutsuki near the hangar of the Evangelions. 'So young man, are you willing to take up the position once more? Or did your old man traumatize you too much already?' the old man thought to himself.
"Ken will kill me,"
Shinji was imagining the different kinds of speeches and sermons he will receive from his bespectacled friend as he sat on a highchair waiting for a cup of his salvation-
scotch.
Shinji often found himself wasting his nights away at this local bar called Kafe; a block away from his flat. It was a small pub that hosted performing musicians during weekends. For this reason, the place had become quite popular to the local people. Shinji even found himself playing here from time to time. As a matter of fact, it was here when he first performed in front of a public crowd; an open-mic night where anyone could jam with anyone. After a year of studying and mastering his guitar playing and piano playing skills, coupled with his drunken stupor, he got up on stage, grabbed a guitar and played some blues while people would come up onstage from time to time to try and sing to his tunes. This pub had been his sanctuary of sorts, a place that always welcomed him, and as time went on, it was a place that showed him that he was loved.
"What seems to be the dilemma now, kid?" the old bartender inquired as he handed Shinji his drink. He looked somewhere around his 50's, with quite a handful of white hairs already popping out from his originally raven hair.
"Same old, Skip. Problems with Neverland," Shinji then took a sip of his scotch and closed his eyes; relishing the warmth that it generates as it passes through his throat then down to his stomach. Opening his eyes, he searched his pockets for what he deemed was the perfect combination to his liquid addiction-
Cigarettes.
Shinji lit himself a stick, then got a lengthy drag out of it. Skip, the bartender placed an ash tray near him idly shaking his head as he goes back to cleaning mugs and glasses. "You're really looking for a death wish, eh? It's always like that- scotch and cigs, scotch and cigs"
"It helps sometimes, you know" the young man argued as he took another sip of the copper-colored substance and taking another puff from his death stick. "And besides, I need this one right now."
"So, I guess it's just not about that redhead you always talk about," the bartender assumed as he leaned on the counter sideways.
"The company I used to work for, they want me back." Shinji told him as he took another sip of his scotch and a puff from his cigarette.
"NERV you mean? But I thought that there's no more need for them since those blasted creatures were gone!"
"That's what I thought as well! But apparently, this other company that used to fund NERV wants us and the rest of the world that would resist them dead. So I guess we'll be saying hello to rough times again,"
"Now that's just annoying…" Skip muttered while shaking his head. "Peace… it's only an ideal nowadays. Attaining it now is nothing but a utopian dream thanks to bastards like them,"
"To be perfectly honest about things," Shinji started as he shifted his position in his seat, before taking another lengthy puff from his cigarette, "I'm quite close to becoming really jaded with things like these. I've already seen the worst during Instrumentality. It's a suffering cycle. I doubt if we'll ever learn…"
"That's just sad, Ikari" came a familiar voice from behind him. The owner of that familiar voice came closer and sat on the stool beside him.
"I know… but what can I say? I learned from your wife," he replied without even bothering to look at his new company. "So Kaji, where's Misato? It's very unlike her to not be in places like this," he inquired to his ponytailed friend.
Kaji chuckled after hearing Shinji. "She's still at NERV, busy with the final preparations for the return of the pilots," he told Shinji as he nodded thanks to the bartender who handed him a glass of scotch as well. "So are you ready to face her again?" Kaji inquired.
"Well, it's impossible to not summon her too. She was the best after all," he argued.
"That was before you came into the picture, kid"
Graveyards are one of the quietest places on earth. It is where people are put to their final rest so that their souls may leave the fleshy prison and fulfil their main reason for living—to embark on their journey in the afterlife.
A lone figure stood in front of two closely placed tombstones, holding a lily flower on one hand and a bottle of whiskey on another. Gently placing both items in front of each tombstone, he sighed then muttered, "Well, preparations are about to be completed. Soon, it will be just like old days,"
Kozou Fuyutsuki was not a fan of graveyards. It always reminded him of the painful experiences he went through after the Second Impact. Yet in this particular area of the graveyard, he would rather stay than be anywhere else.
"Your son's struggling. He needs your guidance," he eyed the tombstone to his left with a name etched on to it:
Ikari, Yui
"Both of you," then eyeing the other tombstone to his right:
Ikari, Gendo
AN: Thank you to all those who are patiently waiting for updates! It's becoming increasingly difficult to write again because of work. But I promise to keep on working on this story whenever I get my free time! I'm still looking for beta readers, so if anyone would like to help, please feel free to message me!. Comments would be very much appreciated! Cheers!
