On his way through the palace, Loki was intercepted by Thor's friends, who clearly expected him to join them in sulking.
Fandral was healed well enough to be there, to sit around the fire with the others. Loki stood a bit away from them, facing the window, lost in his thoughts.
Sif and the Warriors Three had been discussing Thor's banishment for a while now, recounting the battle. Loki had begun tuning them out after a short time, though still listening with one ear, occupied with his worries of what had happened during that very same battle.
There was an explanation for all of this. The blue skin, impossible feats. Loki did not want to think about what that would mean.
Loki found himself shaking slightly as he studied his hands, remembering how the cold blue had crept up it-
"How did the guard even know?" Loki caught, the words pulling him out of his thoughts.
"I told him." Loki acknowledged, turning to face the warriors.
"What?" Fandral asked sharply, twisting around to look at him.
"I told him to go to Odin after we'd left." Loki elaborated, muttering his next words half to himself. "He should be flogged for taking so long, we should never have reached Jotunheim."
That had been the plan. Arrive, and while wandering, searching for Laufey, to get intercepted by Odin. He would have been mad, would have postponed Thor's kingship, and that would have been it.
"You told the guard?" The accusatory tone set him on edge.
"I saves out lives," Loki defended, "and Thor's. I had no idea Father would banish him for what he did."
"Loki," Sif stood up and took a few steps toward him, pleading on her face, "you must go to the All-father and convince him to change his mind."
Loki felt a bit of frustration grow. Did they not understand that this was for the good of Asgard?
"And then what?" Loki asked, not expecting an answer. "I love Thor more dearly than any of you but you know what he is. He's reckless, he's arrogant, he's dangerous. You saw how he was today."
And wasn't that the truth. For all Loki was known for- the Trickster, the Liesmith, Silvertongue- the words he spoke were honest and bitter.
"Is that was Asgard needs from its king?" He finished, and stalked out of the room. It was time to get answers, these Fools could argue amongst themselves alone.
The guards of the vault let him in without preamble. Thor and he had never been denied access to the vault, its items protected by wards they could not break as children and now old enough to be trusted with objects like these.
The Casket of Ancient Winters was almost humming as Loki approached it. It had done so before, just on the edge of his hearing ability, but he had never truly noticed it before.
It felt... strange, now that Loki was searching for it. Familiar, yet not.
Loki did not want to believe it until he was holding it and a cold blue was replacing his skin colour again. This was no illusion, no hallucination or misconception.
He felt something inside him reaching for the Casket, it was his magic but- his magic had never felt quite so cold, had it?
Loki felt Father's.. He felt Odin's prescence enter the Weapons Vault, but did not acknowledge the All-father.
"Stop!" Odin barked, standing still at the top of the wide stairs. That was Father for you, always claiming the high ground no matter where he was.
"Am I cursed?" Loki asked without turning, his voice calmer than he felt.
"No," Odin simply said, seeming unwilling to explain.
Loki's breaths were short and silent, the only hint he was anything other than serene. "What am I?"
He set the Casket back down before Odin answered.
"You're my son."
Loki felt bitterness well up inside of him. That was a lie, it was all a lie!
Loki turned around, letting the Casket go completely and facing the All-father for the first time since the latter had entered. His red eyes glared at Odin, silently demanding the truth, and as the blue began to pull away again Loki finally spoke again. "What more than that?"
Step for step, Loki walked toward the man who had pretended to be his father for so many years. "The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?"
"... No." Odin admitted, refusing to show emotion as Loki came to a stop before him, looking up at the man who raised him with as blank a face as Odin had. "In the aftermath of the battle I went into the temple and I found a baby."
Blood rushed through Loki's ears as he stood, listening to Odin's story. All the events in his life, the reasons he'd been different from all other Aesir- it all led back to this.
"Small, for a giant's offspring. Abandoned to suffering, left to die. Laufey's son."
"Laufey's son." Loki repeated disbelievingly, head turned slightly as he stared into the distance, processing the words.
"Yes," Odin muttered in affirmation, sounding tired and sad.
For a few breaths Loki could not find words to speak. "Why?" He finally managed. "You were knee-deep in Jötnar blood, why would you take me?"
"You were an innocent child." Odin said patronizingly.
"No." Loki denied. He could read the lie on Odin's face. "You took me for a purpose, what was it?"
Odin did not answer, and Loki could not take the silence. He felt something wet on his face as he shouted his rage at the All-father.
"TELL ME!"
Loki's shout echoed off the golden walls. After a moment that seemed to last an eternity Odin spoke. "I though we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace. Through you."
Loki did not find words to answer that. Odin had thought these monsters could be reasoned with at all?
"But those plans no longer matter."
Disbelief and hurt showed clear as day on Loki's face, which had not been this open since he was but a child, thought right now it did not matter.
"So I am no more than another stolen relic," Loki scoffs, "locked up, here, until you might have use of me?"
"Why do you twist my words?" Odin retorted, annoyed. Loki did not seem to register these words.
"You could have told me what I was from the beginning, why didn't you?!" Desperation was leaking into Loki's voice. Had this person before him even even cared for him?
"You're my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth."
'Protect him', from what? The knowledge that he was different? He had found that out just fine without help. If he'd only had a reason, maybe he would've understood...
"What, because I- I'm the monster that parents tell their children about at night?!"
If he had known...
"You know, it all makes sense now, why you favored Thor all these years because no matter how much you claim to love me-" Loki was now shouting, stepping up the stairs towards the All-father with his hands clenched, "-you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard."
... he'd have realized that nobody could care for a monster like him, from the beginning. He wouldn't have gotten hurt trying to make Father proud or attempting to make friends only to be turned away.
He only realized the magic surging around him, up in arms, when it was calming down slightly. His father was laying on the stairs, unconscious.
His life force was stable, but as Loki came back to himself he could not help but feel shook, staring at his father's sleeping form. Had his magic...?
Loki laid a hand on Odin's and it did not even take a moment for him to feel the traces of magic coursing through the All-father's veins, quickly fading.
He had induced Odinsleep early, earlier than it should have been. Loki did not understand; his magic should not be this out of control, raging wildly around him. All these centuries of practice had gained him the title of Asgard's Greatest Sorcerer, and a sorcerer did not let his magic be this wild, because it was dangerous.
Loki did not understand, he did not understand many things.
Later, in the solitude of his chambers, Loki entered his mindscape. Over the years, it had evolved to elaborate detail without Loki doing anything to it. He searched his mind and found what he was looking for near immediately.
The area was chilly, unfamiliar and felt small, even though there were no walls or ceiling to speak of. The only thing it held was a glowing blue mass of energy, radiating cold into whatever went for air in one's mind.
Loki didn't even hesitate a moment to shut it, lock it heavily and stuff it in the corner of his mindscape, so that he would never have to see it again.
A/N Wow, quick update. I know, I'm awesome.
This chapter's title isn't a misspelling of 'bagel', and neither is it referring to the dog breed, sadly enough. 'Bagel' means 'because' or 'why' in Enochian. Apparently. Don't quote me on that.
For everyone who's asking when the hell Gabriel is finally coming into play, which I'm guessing is a lot, well, I did say this was going to be slightly different than most of my other stories. Be patient, my young paladin.
I first want to really build up his life as Loki first, for once, and as such he's going to be Loki who happens to be an archangel and has memories since the beginning of time, and not and archangel pretending to be Loki.
Let me know what you think!
