Extremely late update, but my exams this year are absolutely killing me D': But next year is worse, so I'll just bear with it and fight my way through!
As a breif answer to all your previous lovely reviewers, I am planning a romance :)
And as for my sentances that need fixing up, please help me fix them up? D: I have been told this frequently, but I have no idea where I should change something! If you could tell me, I will improve it, but I cannot read any wrongs in my writing as of now :(
Also, I have actually done 4 drafts of this chapter, scrapping each one as I go along. I am STILL furious with this chapter, and I will probably write it again. :( Brain! Y u no let me succeed?
Please leave your reviews to tell me what you think! ^^ Be truthful! If it's bad, tell me, if you want the plot to hurry up, please say! If its boring(I know I tend to go off on a tangent), I will do my best (and redraft) to make it more interesting! I love criticism! XD Thank you all very much! :)
I label this the worst chapter I have ever written. Period.
Ice. Chapter 2
It's Faro, but at the same time, it's not.
It's Faro, because I know it's him. I am so certain.
His likeliness has appeared in my mind all along; all these three long years, but that wasn't him. The smile that beckoned to me whenever I let my mind wander, the laugh that rang in my ears rendering me speechless, the intensity of those dark chocolate eyes. That wasn't him.
It wasn't real.
The real thing kneels in front of me, he kneels, gasping, his streaming, thick, dark brown hair in disarray, drenching wet from the sea. He coughs, trying to regain his breath, and glares at me, almost scowling. He's released my arm now but I can hardly tell. I feel light headed, cold. I feel so cold. So cold, although I can't feel the sand beneath me through the overwhelming icy, numb feeling spreading throughout my body like a sea of daggers.
"You..." His voice sends electric sparks running through my veins. I stare, bewitched at his sudden, strangely agonizing beauty. I want to reach out and touch him before he disappears like he did before. A jolt of fear passes through me. I don't want to let him go again. I don't want to lose him, like I did last time. I want to reach out to hold him. I so want to reach out...
But instead, I shrink back.
He has legs. It cannot be him. No logic stands behind it. Faro is mer. And yet...
"You... are so stupid, little sister."
He finally regains his breath and looks away angrily.
I don't know what to say.
But what can I say? Something witty? Funny? I can't. I want to ask him why he's been gone for so long. I want to ask him the questions that had - at first made stay beside the cove every day, with every spare second I had, the questions that waited for me around every corner, that lurked at every turn, the ones that haunted me during the day and kept me awake at night. The endless questions I had formulated and so carefully put together in my mind.
But now, as I try to grasp even one thing to say, nothing comes together. My mind is a mess of false starts, aimless, drifting words that don't make sense, even to my own bewildered mind.
Faro is still sitting, turned away from me as he was before, but now, his head bent down and his arms wrapped around his knees. I see the slight movement of his bare upper back as he breathes. His bare upper back... and lower back... and... oh... I feel a alarmingly warm blush creeping up in my cheeks as I realize that he is completely unclothed. Dizzy, I quickly turn away, averting my eyes, feeling suddenly ridiculous for no apparent reason at all.
The cold is really getting to me now. I shiver. There is no breeze, and my fingers are too numb to feel much else. The moon really has encased everything in a soft blue coloured layer, making everything look different and strange. I have entered a completely dreamy state where nothing feels real, and everything distinct has just blended together. I clench and unclench my hands, trying to get some feeling into them, and I spot my cut along my arm from earlier. It seems to have gotten longer, but maybe that is just the blood marks streaking down the sides. It doesn't hurt, and the blood looks fake, almost purple coloured in the blue tone the moon casts. The wet texture of my blood - or, perhaps is it the water from the sea - reflects the light of the moon, making tiny faint lights on the surface of my skin. I stare at it, oddly entranced, until I see a hand entering my line of vision take my injured arm. I look up.
Faro kneels in front of me, looking at the cut with a strange expression on his face. I keep my eyes trained on his face, not daring to look down, fearing a blush coming up again.
"You're hurt." He says.
I shake my head and attempt to untangle my arm to no avail.
"No." I manage. My voice is a croak from not speaking for so long. I clear my throat and try again. "I'm fine."
He doesn't let go.
"Why were you gone so long?" I find myself saying. The words don't sound like mine. The voice is alien.
Faro stares at me. "How long have I been gone?"
"I-"
I stop at the sudden crescendo of voices behind me. They are fast approaching and I see that Faro's eyes are fixed on something over my shoulder.
A painfully loud thrashing of leaves and a tremulous yelp sounds behind me and I whip my head around in alarm to see a scruffy looking - and although tinted blue from the light of the moon - unmistakable, endearing head of Sadie, my gorgeous golden retriever covered in a coat of leaves and bits of branches, looking like she'd just fallen out of the hedge behind her. She scrambles up, tail wagging and barking loudly, and runs, in a sort of clumsy, agitated fashion towards me.
My heart soars at the sight of Sadie there, and standing shakily up, I reach out to embrace her, but she stops suddenly, just an arms breadth away from me, fixated on something behind me. She gives something half way between a whimper and a snarl and starts to limp backwards, her tail drooping. I follow her gaze and meet Faro's glare aimed straight back at her.
I feel uneasy. Faro might have legs now, but he's still part of Ingo; still part of the sea.
"Sapphy!" The voices catch me by surprise, and I see Faro's eyes flicker, alarmed, up, towards the direction of the suddenly appearing voices. They are considerably louder now.
"Sapphire Trewhella!" The voices are coming from the steep looking slope I came down earlier, nearly obscured by the hedge Sadie had fallen through. "Sadie! Sadie, where are you?" "Sapphire Trewhella!" I don't recognise a few of the voices, and I am momentarily confused as to why they are even calling my name, when I recall earlier, when I was walking with Connor towards Rainbow and Granny Carne's houses.
Alarm courses through me, and my mind buzzes, trying to make sense of everything. I can't have been here for too long. All that has happened could have taken place under a period of fifteen minutes. The journey to Rainbows house would definitely take longer, as I recall. I am sure that is right. So why would they come out looking for me? Then how long have I been here? and finally, What should I do?
"Sadie!" This is clearly Connor's voice. I glance in the direction wildly, but before I can act upon it, Sadie lets out a series of barks, as if calling out for help. "Wait a moment, Sadie!" he calls in reply, "I'll find a way down!"
"I think she's found a trail," I hear him shout out to the people with him. They give a positive sounding reply. By the sound of it, half the village is here, and their constant chatter and calls shock me from my stupor.
I shake myself back into my senses. "Connor, I'm here!" I manage to call. It still doesn't feel like mine at all, and I swallow, trying again, "Connor! It's Sapphy!"
The villagers above seemed to have picked up on my voice, and I hear my name being called out again in excitement; people are milling round this edge of the cove slope now, obscured by the overgrown hedges and bracken and ancient trees, with their countless unrelenting roots surviving even the roughest of landscapes, and the tough young saplings.
"Sapphy!" I finally hear Connors voice. It's a little further away now. "Are you down there?"
I shout out in consent, and I feel Sadie rub her head against my hand, in a sort of attempt at comforting me. I am glad for it, and I rub her silky fur between my fingers. If she was not here, I don't know what I'd do in panic. I don't want to be alone.
But that's right, I'm not alone. It hits me as I remember Faro, and I turn my head round wildly, in search of the lean built man. He is nowhere in sight, and I feel confusion biting into me. He was right there a minute ago.
Or... was it all just in my head?
"Sapphy!" The proximity of Connors' voice shocks me back into attention of my surroundings, and I swivel in the vague direction of where he is coming from. He has finally made it down, voice fierce with the aftershock of fear, his hair messy and tangled with leaves, clothes roughed up, and a series of small angry scratches on his cheek, probably from his descent down. He comes towards me at a run, "Sapphy, you're alright. Oh, thank God you're alright. Don't you dare to ever do that again." Once he reaches me, he grabs my shoulders and gives me a little, urgent shake, "You hear me? Never again."
I seem to be being shaken a lot today.
"Never again, Sapphy. Say it."
"Never again," I repeat in agreement. I don't want to talk really; it's too unsettling to be hearing your own voice when it sounds so distant. I still haven't gotten over that, but Connor's verging on hysteria, which surprises me, as it's my calm, honest, understanding brother, and I do it for him.
"What happened to you?" Connor finally takes me in. He stares at my wet, soaking hair which reeks of the sea, my drenched clothes that cling to my skin, and the long, bloodied cut on my arm. The frown is evident on his face, "What did you do?"
More scrambling and the dragging and rustling of leaves sound before I can answer, and I hear more voices making the descent down the slope. I got down with a run, and how I managed to survive the descent with only the scratches I have is beyond me.
Some more people have gotten down now, more villagers, armed with bags of what looked like supplies, first aid kits and blankets. They are well prepared for this type of thing, I vaguely think. Then, of course they are. Every time somebody goes missing around here, everyone suspects an accident. It was the way things work. With the sea so close by - with the high tide, of course there had to be a degree of paranoia. And that was not including the thought of the rocks out there in the sea. The villagers crowd round me, pushing Connor out of the way. Somebody drapes a blanket around my suddenly shaking shoulders, and they're talking in their loud, loud voices, and running around in their reckless, thundering footsteps. It seems like a decade since I last heard civilization - which is ironic since we just got back from London, with it's blaring music, and the deafening yells of countless city dwellers. A police force seems to be here, and I spot a few large black dogs that make Sadie look genteel in comparison. A policeman, the man who had pushed Connor away, is suddenly kneeling in front of me, holding a piece of paper attached to a board in front of him. He is speaking to me, his hands making wild gestures that are probably supposed to help me understand him more, but I cannot even hear him. My mind has gone blank, and I simply stare dumbly at this waving hands. He might as well be speaking in sign language.
"Sapphire!" Rainbow appears out of nowhere, pushing through the crowd. It's when I have to stare up at her, that I realize that I have fallen to the ground.
Comfortingly, she hasn't changed at all and kneeling, she pulls me into a tight hug. "What happened? Are you alright? Are you hurt? Everyone has been out looking for you for hours and hours! We circled the cove, because that's where we thought you'd be, but we couldn't see anything, but we were so worried and we thought you'd be there for sure, and we remembered that tonight was high tide, so we called the police after the first hour, maybe we should have called earlier but, I mean, we didn't want to because Connor said you could just have taken a wrong turn, but I didn't believe that for a second, and neither did he, and - oh!" Rainbow takes a long gulp, and I can hear her holding back her tears.
I pat her on the back, attempting to calm her, and my mind whizzes. My head feels clearer than it has for ages now; the dizziness mostly gone and apprehension taking its place.
Granny Carne comes into view, yanking her arm out of the grip of a young man looking like he was attempting to escort her, worry etched onto her wizened face. Connor pushes back into the crowd, past the madly gesturing policeman, and along with Rainbow, he helps to pull me up.
I am surrounded with semi-familiar faces, all talking to me, all asking me questions that I cannot hear, cannot take in at all. I block them out, because at the moment, it's too much, and I ask the question in my cracked, dry voice, the one that I never gave the answer to.
"How long have I been gone?"
XxXxX
Five hours.
That's how long they say my rescue mission took. Actually, it was four. That's how long they were out searching for me. Of course, the four hours wasn't including the time it took for them to notice I was actually gone, actually "lost", as they put it. Connor had gone back home, picked up the jars, walked back down the path a third time, arrived at Rainbow's house as we had agreed, and, seeing that I wasn't there, and Rainbow had no clue where I was, they had gone out, walking back down the trail, looking out for me, thinking I was possibly took a wrong turn somewhere.
According to Rainbow's account, they looked down into the cove and shouted my name a few times, without a reply. I can't say I heard them, but then again, I was probably drowning in the sea at that time, and couldn't hear them. Then, realizing that there was no trace of me at all, they knocked on a few villagers doors that lived around the area, where they thought I could be lost and asked there. Nobody had seen me, but everyone all came out to help look for me. Word travelled fast, and soon somebody had alerted the police too. When they had made their way back to Rainbow's house, they realized that somebody should have asked Granny Carne too, and according to the words of another villager, chipping into the story, she knew exactly where I was. Where I must be.
So they all went down to the cove. Sadie had barked to be allowed to come too, and along with half the village that had woken up, and a few dispatched police officers with their task force sniffing dogs - which Sadie had not liked at all - they made it here, with Sadie running down first, as if knowing exactly where I was. And I know the rest of the story from then.
So five hours, basically.
Most of the villagers have gone now; it's late after all. We set out at around seven, and after the nights' affairs, it's well past one o'clock midnight.
The silence after nearly everybody leaving is more comforting than I would have imagined.
I sit in the living room, with the same blanket they had draped over my shoulders. Connor sits dozing, in an armchair near our fireplace. That used to be Roger's armchair. One of our close neighbours, Marissa, who used to be friends with my mother, lies down on the couch. She offered to stay here with us for the night, "just in case".
I know from the silence that followed and Marissa's pursed lips and knowing look directed towards me, what she meant by the term "just in case". In case I ran off again, in case I "tried to jump again".
It wasn't until I finally got hold of myself that I understood the reason for the police officers surrounding us, interrogating Connor, Rainbow, everything. From what they had seen, from my history here (they had been alerted by a long time resident here about my past goings to the cove) my drenched hair, my wild eyes, my visible light headedness and my cold shock that I had experienced after seeing Faro, coupled with the fact that I, somebody who has grown up beside the sea, would go into the sea on a night of high tide; - they had concluded, unsurprisingly, that I was suicidal.
"It happens to the best of us, it does," I heard a middle aged woman with a pink handbag say, as I was set on the sofa back home by some official looking people earlier this night, "My cousin, and this part is true, she says so herself, my cousin, who is such a sweet, nice woman fell victim to that horrible disease too," she huddled closer to the other women standing around her, gossiping intently, "the doctors called it clinical depression, but all she did was want to end it all!" She waved her hands around for effect, "Nothing clinical about it! Suicide!" Her friends had shushed her for being so loud, but not before shooting darting glances at me, confirming that I was, indeed the subject of their gossip.
I wanted to laugh at first. It was like a huge, ironic joke. And I knew that nobody would believe such a tale. Especially not Connor or Rainbow. But as I looked at them, they only looked away, hurriedly.
"What?" I had said to Rainbow earlier, when I finally managed to muster up my voice.
"Nothing, it's nothing. Just get some rest ok? Do you want to take a shower?"
"Not now."
"Then it's nothing."
Of course it would be nothing.
I guess I could tell them about Faro, about him being on the cliffs, or at least somebody on the cliffs, but I know I can't. I don't want to risk them thinking I was crazier than they already do. It would take too much explaining, and the moment I mention anything about "Mer", they would officially label me as mental hospital worthy. Even Connor, who has neglected to ever believe that Elvira and Ingo are anything more than a memory.
And I could do without that.
So I seal my mouth shut and let them believe what they want.
XxXxX
I wake as soon as the first rays of light penetrate the roughly drawn curtains.
I lie in confusion until I remember what happened last night. It's like I'm looking back on a dream. And a fragmented one, at that. I feel positively ridiculous, thinking back. Suicide, a human Faro. Ugh.
I cast my eyes up over at a small digital clock somebody had placed beside the sofa I am lying on. The clock shows 08:39 in black, square numbers, and the small words 'SAT' at the top right hand corner of the display. I swing my legs round to the floor, and breathe out slowly. Time to get up.
Connor is gone from the armchair, but Marissa still lies, fast asleep on the sofa next to mine. I decide not to wake her, and make my way slowly, muscles that I never knew I had aching all over my body, to my room upstairs.
Connor and I did not get to look back around the house before we left to give the presents to Rainbow and Granny Carne, and this feels way overdue. Somebody has been up here earlier, probably one of the police people from last night, checking for any evidence contributing to my 'suicidal actions', and I don't like it. When I enter my room, I find that somebody has also left my bags piled neatly in the corner of my room.
My bed looks untouched, as does everything else. It looks the same though, as I remember. It's empty, bed stripped bare, the walls desolate and devoid of life, but it looks familiar, and I'm glad for it.
Somebody has left the window open, though, to air it out, and a cool winter breeze drifts into the room.
Shivering, I walk over to close it, but, like yesterday, the sight of the sea stops me in my tracks. There is no calling, no pulling, but it catches me, as if in a woven net and I look out, trapped. What happened yesterday, all that happened - it could not have been a dream.
I am as sure of it. It couldn't have not happened.
It doesn't make any sense for it to not have been. I mean, sure, it doesn't make much sense if it did, but, but… I make no sense to myself, but a grinding sort of anxiety has gripped me now, and a gut instinct, no an instinct is making me think-
I still smell the sea on myself. I dived into the sea on high tide. It was absolutely stupid for me to do it, but I did it to help somebody. And that person, and I'm so sure, saved me in the end, and now I'm alive, so, so it means-
Maybe… maybe? The apprehension is so high I cannot take it anymore. My heart is in my throat, because I am so, so, so sure.
I am running out of my room and down the stairs before I know it. Two at the time, no - three at a time - I'd jump down the whole staircase if I could.
Yesterday was not a dream. Which means Faro may actually be there.
Faro may be there.
He… might-
Faro is there!
I don't care that my hair is tangled and messy, I don't care I'm running out in the clothes I had on yesterday, the clothes I fell asleep in, that I had refused to change out of. I am simply beyond caring. I just want to see Faro.
Throwing open the front door of my house, I am about to take the first step out, when my path is blocked by a towering shadow. Another villager or something. Probably. I attempt to look up, but their head is blocking the sun, and all I can see is a huge halo around their head. They look like some holy monument or something, but I don't want to waste anymore time. I want to see the sea.
"Excuse me," I say, motioning to get past them.
"Are you Sapphire Trewhella?" He's got a deep voice, but he can't be much older than me. He's got a thick accent, but, being uninterested and uneducated in this type of thing, I can't tell where he is from. The one thing for sure is I have never met him before in my life.
"Yes," I manage, "Now, if you'll excuse me…"
"I'm Blake, nice to meet you, Trewhella," He extends a hand, which I take, exasperated, "Are you sure you want to be going out again? There are some people still out round the beach part, and I don't think it'll be that great if they saw you, after all that yesterday. They're thinking some crazy stuff now. You know what I mean?"
This is making me uneasy. If there really are people there, and Faro is there, then…
I have to go.
"I'm not going there at all," I lie, letting go of his hand, "I just wanted some fresh air."
"Ok, Trewhella, just a warning. Oh, and I came to check up on you. You ok now?"
"Fine," I say, willing him to move. Soon.
"Ok, ok, I'm going now, Trewhella," Blake moves out of my way now, with his hands up, as if in mock defence. I finally manage to see his face as he walks away, not being cast in shadow. He drops his hands and half turns to me, giving me a small crooked smile. His hair, which I now see to be golden blonde, glows in the sunlight.
"Have fun with your walk. Or your beach trip." He smiles one last time and steps over the fence that separates our house from the house next door, "Either way. Knock if you need anything, neighbour." With that, he winks at me and opens the door to our neighbour's house, steps in, and shuts it behind him with a click.
I stand, stunned, then furious.
I never knew our old neighbour had moved. But saying that, ever since we, ourselves, had moved to London, we hardly were able to know any of the news from here. I snap myself back into the present. Blake, huh? The nerve. But I'm determined to not let that hinder me; I pick up my pace now, and head towards the beach nearly running.
I'm not in a great shape after yesterday night. I can tell when I trip over for the third time. My limbs still feel the fatigue that my mind is missing out on.
When I fall the forth time, a hand clasps my shoulder and I look up, surprised, too winded to feel any dread, wondering who it could be this time. Blake? No, it couldn't be.
I'm not surprised to see Granny Carne.
"Where are you running to, Sapphire? You seem to be in a hurry."
I struggle to think of a reply, so I say nothing.
"You don't have to answer, so don't worry. You have the markings of Ingo on you, even bringer than before. I expected them to have died down, or even gone, but they're still there. Anyone who knows what to look for can see it on you."
"You haven't seen me in a long time," I say. My voice has an edge of fear on it that I do not feel.
"No." She says, her eyes trained on me, fierce and judging. "And I've never seen your friend before. But his markings are the brightest of all."
"Which friend?" I ask, but it might as well have not been asked at all.
Not Blake, of course, and I can't think of anyone else that Granny Carne would not have seen before, that she could even remotely relate to me as a friend.
But she answers for me anyway.
"Why, your friend from last night. The boy from the sea."
I am so sorry if this disappointed your expectations :'( I despise this chapter wholly. The ideas within it are so BLEH, but in my defense, I did follow my original plot! XD I will one day change it, after I have finished all my other exams :'( (Exam week soon, SO CLOSE! D: Where did all my time go? IMPOSSIBRU!)
I went to Devon (neighbouring Cornwall) over the last week ^^
Funny thing is that when I looked around there, I could imagine that it could be where Ingo took place! :) The sea in South-West England is so blue and so pure ^^ And its really hilly! I was surprised because most of the houses looked like they were on cliffs!
I tried some 'traditional food' there, well, I was told it was traditional anyway: clotted cream and jam on scones. Es war sehr lecker, but I wonder if Sapphy ever ate anything like that? :) Anyway, the journey from where I live to Devon took 7 hours in total by car, and at the end of it, my back had died slowly and fallen off ;_;
At least it was worth it though! Devon is definately on my list of the most naturally beautiful places to see! :) Full of fields, forests, cliffs, blue skies and seas ^^
We also stopped by Winchester on the way and I saw Jane Austens grave! O.O She is one of my great literny heroes, and Winchester Cathedral is very nice in itself! :)
I hope I get to see Cornwall itself some day, and if I do, I will be sure to walk down the beach and keep an eye out for anyone that may be waiting for me there! XD -jokes-
(Sorry for this note being so long, I'll be sure to shorten it next time! ^^;)
Read my second draft from the link on my profile :)
I love reviews... hint hint hint ;D
