Together Always
The Confessions Saga
Author's Note: Kagura will soon unveil her feelings for Sakaki! But…does she respond the same?
…The Coming Out…
Before I told Sakaki, I told my dad.
He and I were always honest with each other, which were one of our strong ties of our father-daughter bond. From him, it was one of the reasons I'm not particular to lying. I knew I could trust him.
Still, I was pretty nervous.
As I stood in the doorway, thinking of how to reveal my feelings, he sat at the table, outlining some house plans. My dad was what you would call a 'fixer'; he could build and fix anything. He was cool like that.
Figuring that just standing around wasn't going to do it, I brought myself forward to greet him.
"Hey Dad," I pulled up a chair in front of him.
He looked up. He then checked his watch.
"It's late. Is there something you want to tell me, Kagura?"
"Well…" My fingers tapped on the table, the anxiety gripping me. "I…"
He put away his pencil and stared at me intently with his hands clasped together – he knew I had something very important to reveal. He would remain quiet until I came out with it.
"I…I…" This was harder than I thought it would be.
Just breathe in and out, I can do this, I mentally told myself.
"Okay…" I sighed. "…I don't like boys."
My dad just blinked. As usual, pressure had me saying something else instead of what I meant to say. I felt my face warm up; I must've been blushing.
"Um…What I meant was…I-I…" I lowered my eyes to the floor. "I…"
I might just as damn well get this over with already!
"I love girls!" I blurted out suddenly, gasping. "At least, I really love this one girl...There, I said it!"
And I just burst out crying – my hands rose to my face.
I must have gone on like this for few minutes before my dad gave any reaction.
Soon, I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder and looked up to see my dad smiling gently at me.
"Kagura, you are my daughter," he said softly. "I could never look down at you in a different way. It does not matter who you love, just as long you're happy in the end."
I sniffle, wiping away my tears.
"T-thanks Dad…" my voice broke. "You're the best."
"Hey, this isn't the olden times, you know," he chuckled, ruffling my hair. He always did that, and I liked it.
"So, who's the lucky gal?" he asked with a grin worthy of the Kaguras.
I could feel myself burn with embarrassment and fiddled with my fingers.
"That's the thing…I haven't told her yet…"
"What?" his grin disappeared as he looked at me in bewilderment. "And you'd tell me, yet not her, first?"
I gulped.
"I might have needed the support," was my reply, "cause, I'm not sure how to go about it, telling her…"
"Ah, I see," he raised a hand to his chin and soon drifted off into thought.
I had to smile; whenever he did that, he was working out an answer to the problem. His advice never failed to benefit us. I told you he could do anything.
"Kagura…" he now sighed in a tone I recognized.
It was his soft, loving, yet sad tone that accompanied him whenever he brought up the subject of my late mother. We really never went to that area, but when we did, it always left an air of nostalgia behind.
"Do you know how I met your mother?"
I kept silent, knowing the process.
"You know, like you, I could be outgoing and maybe even bit bold," he continued, "but when it came to personal stuff, like admitting my love to Sachi (that was my mother's name), I couldn't even bring myself to it. When I tried, my words always came out all wrong and I'd just run away."
"But then, an idea struck me," he raised his finger for emphasis. "If I couldn't talk to her in-person, the least I could try to do is by talking to her indirectly. And so, I wrote a letter, detailing how and why I loved her, and gave it to her during class. Later, she came to meet me and confessed the same…You know the rest…"
"Kagura, you could write her a letter…it worked for me…" he added finally.
There was a moment of silence as he held a faraway look in his eyes. I slowly made my way over to him and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him.
"Thanks Dad," I replied. "I'll do that."
…The Confession…
The next day, my dad gave me a light hug and waved good luck at me as I made my way towards school.
I looked at the envelope in my hand and gripped it determinedly. I had been up for most of night, working on it. I'm not really a good writer, but I gave all my effort and feeling into it. I hoped she would understand.
Upon reaching my classroom, I saw Sakaki in her usual place and sat at my desk near her.
"Hey."
Sakaki nodded in reply.
That was our usual greeting.
She resumed gazing out the window. I let out a deep sigh then looked at my letter.
Glancing cautiously, I quickly slipped it into her schoolbag. She never noticed.
I wasn't prepared to say it aloud…yet.
After school, Sakaki and I were walking home together, as we always did. I looked down to the bag in her hand and wondered if she would ever find it and read it.
Would she reply? Or would she dismiss it and ignore me, never to give her answer?
I couldn't stand it anymore, I had to get it out now. At least with the simplicity of it, Sakaki could learn the details later.
I immediately grabbed her hand. We stopped.
"Mm?" Sakaki looked down to it in confusion.
"Um…Sakaki…" I mumbled, not meeting her gaze. "Ever since we met…I've been meaning to tell you…that I…"
A pause, I gripped her hand tighter. Sakaki made no protest.
"That I…" I looked up at her, into those amazing eyes. "I…"
Before I knew it, I had placed my hands onto her shoulders and pushed down so her face was within level of mine. There, I planted my lips onto hers. I kissed her.
Our first kiss…all words cannot describe how it felt. A blissful eternity seemed to pass until we finally pulled apart. Still tingling with the warmth of it, I looked up to her with a smile.
"I love you Sakaki…"
However, once I saw Sakaki's expression, all that was bliss quickly dissipated as if someone had blown out a candle in my chest.
She held the look of pure shock – her eyes were wide and her mouth half-agape. She did not look at all pleased. My vision soon blurred with tears.
"S-Sakaki…" I stuttered, clutching her arms. "Don't you feel the same for me?"
She said nothing, still staring at me in unbelief.
"Please…"
"I…" Sakaki stammered, shaking her head. She backed away so she slipped out of my grip.
"I-I have to go home…"
With one last glance, she turned away and ran down the dirt road.
"Sakaki…"
