Here is chapter 2! Hope you enjoy it. If you placed this story on an alert of favorite, please think about leaving me a review? It would be greatly appreciated. Castle Monday was so lonely without it. 18 more weeks to go I heard!
Chapter 2 – Words of Love
"Don't go, Castle." She sobs between stuttering breaths. He turns away from her slowly. Her hands tremble, and her heart breaks watching him walk away. This is her chance to get this right before he walks out of her life forever. Closing her eyes she takes a deep breath, the pain in her chest is unbearable, but this man, he is her life. When that happened she is not sure, but without a doubt he has ingrained himself into every single area of her life.
He stops but does not turn around. His head hangs down, and he doesn't look at her. This man who wants her faults and all, has admitted defeat. And for a second it feels like all that is bright, and loud and Castle has been extinguished, and her world is dark, because without him there would be nothing.
"I'm not, I'm not going. I have everything I need here." the sob that escapes her shakes her to the core.
"I have a job I love, a family I can't live without, and I have you, Castle, you." She reaches for his hand, dragging each finger open and dropping her ring back into it. "I love you. When I was standing on the bomb I meant it, I love you."
Castle's eyes brim with unshed tears, at her words, but doesn't understand what she's doing. His head drops to avoid looking at her, hiding the pain he knows she will see in his eyes. She's still turning him down, and she's returning the ring. Holding the hand with the ring between both her hands tightly, she brings their intertwined hands over her heart. Her lips brush gently against his fingers.
"I want this, Castle. I want us to get there, and I know we'll get there, but not like this." Her voice breaks as the tears trail over her cheeks. "This should be a happy occasion."
Her fingers tip his jaw so she can look into his eyes, forcing him to look at her. "We aren't there yet. Look at the mess we've made of this?"
"All I've wanted for weeks is to know where we are going, Castle. If you wanted the things I did. I needed to know we were on the same page and that we were aiming for the same thing. I am scared, so damn scared, and that's not me. I don't know how to do this. I don't want to mess this up." She waves her arms between them.
"I've never been in a relationship this important." Her hands wrap around his midsection and she draws him to her. She molds her body against him and settles under his chin. Hoping he understands everything her heart is telling him. "Castle, I have both feet planted inside the door, and it scares me to death. My dad said I tend to run at about this point in a relationship, and he's right. Losing you though…. A life without you in it…." She stops and looks at him, her eyes fill with tears and the words get caught up in the emotions.
She feels his strong arms snake hesitantly around her. He nuzzles into her hair and she can feel him inhaling the scent of her, hesitantly he places a kiss on the crown of her head, and then sighs.
"Mother and I talked too," his voice is low and raw with emotion. "Kate, I've had this ring now for three months. I talked myself into thinking that I was not afraid of the next step, that I wasn't avoiding making a commitment because I had bought it. I was fooling myself, but I'm still terrified. I almost let you go, at the first sign of trouble now that we're together. I'm so afraid of losing you, of you walking away, of not being enough. Not being what you want or need." He draws her tighter into his embrace, enveloping her in his strong arms and broad chest.
"I want you to take this job if it is what you really want Kate. You're exceptional at what you do, and this is an opportunity of a lifetime. With your drive, and skills you can reach your potential there. I can't be the reason you don't go. You're meant for greater things."
Kate molds herself to his body, seeking the warmth and love he so willingly gives. She places feather like kisses on his chin and cheek. Their foreheads meet and she takes a deep breath.
"Castle, you are everything. I want my father to walk me down the isle, to YOU. I want to curse you during the delivery of our beautiful blue-eyed children. I want to grow old and grey with you, and never miss any birthdays or anniversaries. Before you, this job would have meant everything to me. I know it's a great opportunity, but it would leave me without all the dreams that are now a real possibility. I'd miss the magic that makes life worth living now. The magic you have made me believe in again." Reaching up she tenderly strokes his cheek, with the back of her hand. Her fingers wrap around the back of his head and draws his lips to hers. Her warm breath ghosts against his lips before he feels her tongue gently slide between his lips in a searing kiss.
"Mommy why is that man sticking his tongue in that woman's mouth? That's gross." They hear a child ask his mother innocently.
The mother quickly moves the child away from them shooting an angry look in their direction. Giggling like teenagers they separate slightly and their foreheads touch.
"This isn't a definitive "NO?" he asks as he they start walking them away from the swings.
"It's not even a maybe, Rick. I want to marry you. We'll get married, just not right now. It's not the right time yet."
She cups the hand with the ring in it. "Hold it until it's time and ask me again, Rick."
"No," he answers. He takes the ring and cradles her left hand in his. "I can wait for the right moment again. I can take this as slow or as fast as you want. What I won't do is give anyone else the impression that you are available. Katherine Houghton Beckett you are mine, and with this ring the world knows that someday you will be my wife." Kate's eyes fill with tears of happiness as Castle slowly slides the ring onto her finger.
"It's a promise, Kate from me to you; that we'll always work things out, because we're better together than apart. Because a life with out you is no longer a life worth living for me." He wraps her in his arms and sighs contentedly into her cherry kissed hair.
Arm in arm they stroll slowly out of the park towards her cruiser, enjoying the warm spring day. They pick up hotdogs at the cart vendor at the edge of the park.
Castle somehow finally gets to drive her cruiser back to the precinct, with Kate stressing that it's a special occasion and the boys aren't to ever know. He smirks and holds up his pinky and she hooks hers in the childhood code of silence.
Finding a parking space near the traffic packed precinct, they get out and get ready to go up to the bullpen. Kate instructs Castle to give her a half hour before he comes up, then turns to enter the always chaotic precinct.
The crowded bullpen currently buzzes with the usual activity for this time of day. Detectives and uniforms are going about their usual work day, answering telephones, checking information on computers, and drinking coffee by the gallons. Kate spots Gates locked in her office currently chewing out someone on the phone. The boys spot her and quickly approach her, their faces full of concern.
"Hey, you ok?" asks Espo as she shakes her head. "Girl you look like crap."
"Come on Beckett. What's going on?" Ryan says as he nudges Espo with his shoulder. "Man you definitely need lessons on how to talk to a girl."
Thanks for reading, and as Mickey Mouse says….see ya real soon!
