II: About a Headmaster
Whenever the Headmaster entered the office that had been Poppy's for the past three years, she noted that he reflexively Transfigured the guest chair into something more comfortable. The shape and the amount of padding of the resulting armchair seemed dependent upon his mood, and the ease and spontaneity of the Transfiguration showed Poppy that not only was this a Transfiguration he performed often, but one that he performed without much forethought. Occasionally, he'd even seem unexpectedly pleased with a particular colour or configuration, and mutter something about needing to remember that one. Minerva, on the other hand, would never dream of Transfiguring a chair in someone else's office without so much as a by-your-leave, and even then, only when attending to the need or comfort of another. She might not have been able to achieve the effortless, seemingly spontaneous, Transfiguration that Albus could, as he was much older and more experienced, but she could have done it and made it look easy. Whereas Albus would change things to suit himself, Minerva would simply deal with things as they were.
It was not that Minerva lacked flexibility, thought Poppy, nor that Albus was self-absorbed or self-serving. But Albus clearly did believe in taking the initiative to change the circumstances in which he found himself if those circumstances did not suit him. Such a thing would not occur to Minerva. She took things as she found them, and adapted, or didn't.
She was no pushover, despite that, not Minerva McGonagall, and she certainly was not hesitant to change things she believed were wrong. Principled, she would stand up for her friends, and for what she thought right, but she would consider it a peculiar waste of magic, not to mention at least slightly rude, to Transfigure a perfectly serviceable wooden chair into a pouffy chintz armchair in order to be more comfortable for the brief time she'd be using it. No doubt she'd seen Albus do just that, and thought nothing of it, since she usually made allowances for what the wizarding world affectionately considered Albus's "eccentricities." In fact, on any other day, Poppy would have sworn that Minerva had a soft spot for her old Transfiguration teacher. And she had certainly seen no sign that the Headmaster lacked respect for her, as Minerva had suggested.
What was bothering Minerva that day was only peripherally related to her penchant for orderliness, Poppy decided. Of course it would be somewhat disturbing to the meticulous and punctual Minerva McGonagall to have to wait for someone who was habitually late, but Poppy suspected that if Albus were as frequently late with others as he was with her, Minerva would have dismissed it as easily as she dismissed his eccentric Transfiguration of wooden seats into chintz armchairs, or of heavy beakers into delicate teacups. No, what bothered Minerva was his seeming punctuality with others, and the apparent disregard with which he treated appointments with her. She was also none too pleased that Gertie could mount the steps to the Headmaster's private quarters without invitation, while she was relegated to being dumped on his office floor.
"Well, Minerva, I'm just trying to be a friend here, so if what I'm saying seems unsympathetic, please bear that in mind."
Minerva, who had not quite burned out the fire of her righteous anger, nodded at Poppy and relaxed somewhat into her chair.
"Minerva, it seems to me that it would be impractical for the Headmaster to have stairs to his quarters that would not admit his Deputy. I imagine that the first time Gertrude encountered his little slide, she let him know in no uncertain terms what she thought of it. On the other hand," said Poppy, looking at her friend carefully, "it certainly would not do to eliminate all barriers to his privacy – do you remember what it was like for him after he defeated Grindelwald? It seemed that every witch in England and Scotland, and even a few wizards, wanted to snag him. You weren't at Hogwarts, Minerva; do you know that they even managed to get into the castle? That's why Dippet ended up renewing the wartime wards that restricted entry to the grounds. He'd wanted to revert to the original wards, the ones that allowed anyone who was a current or former resident to enter the grounds at the gate without any further ado – were they changed after you'd started school, Minerva, or before? The wartime ones had already been implemented by my first year, so I never really knew what the old ones were like. Dippet never even got around to lifting the Anti-Apparition wards before he and the Board of Governors decided that they'd still have to screen visitors as they entered the grounds because of all the problems these nutters were causing, and they reinstituted the tighter perimeter wards."
"But Poppy, this is completely different. It's not as hard to get onto the grounds today as it was a few years ago, of course, but the wards on all of the exterior doors would alert Dumbledore and the House Heads as soon as anyone entered the castle who didn't belong. And I'm obviously not one of those nutters."
"Hmmpf. Obviously." Poppy gazed at Minerva thoughtfully, and continued. "They were even coming in through the windows back then. My seventh-year Charms class was interrupted when a witch flew in through the window." Poppy chuckled at her reminiscence. "We had the opportunity to practice a few nice charms that day. I cast the one that froze her broom but held it in midair. Quite clever, I thought at the time."
Minerva snorted. "Even so, Poppy, you have to have a password to get into the Headmaster's office. Even if he wants privacy in his quarters – which I completely understand; I enjoy my own privacy, after all – he could require a password at the door to his rooms, or set up an invisible barrier at the bottom of the stairs, and require a password there. No doubt Headmaster Dippet used such a system. Setting up a slide like the one in Gryffindor Tower is just, just puerile!"
Poppy finally gave in and laughed. "We didn't have anything quite like that in Hufflepuff, but I understand that the stairs to the girls' dormitory in Gryffindor have had that charm on them for at least a couple hundred years, possibly ever since they combined the Girls' and Boys' Common Rooms to encourage greater internal House unity back in, what was it, sixteen-something?"
"1594, as you would know if you ever bothered reading Hogwarts, a History," grumbled Minerva.
"What's your point?"
"My point is that Dumbledore no doubt encountered those stairs himself back when he was a student. Knowing him, he probably thought it was quite funny, once he got over the embarrassment of landing flat on his arse, and now that he's Headmaster, he decided to have a set of them for himself. I can even imagine him activating the Charm on purpose just to slide down to his office in the morning."
"Hmmpf. That's as may be, but I am not a child. And what if one of the elderly staff members triggered the stairs and broke a bone, or something? It's irresponsible."
"I'd set them to rights," Poppy interjected.
Minerva sighed, and a fleeting look of sadness crossed her face, to be replaced by one of anger.
She balled her fists, and through gritted teeth, hissed, "You haven't heard the capper, yet, Poppy."
"There's more?"
"'There's more?' she says! Of course there's more; none of that would still be irritating me if there weren't more!" Minerva closed her eyes in frustration, or perhaps she was just reviewing the events of the morning. "Gertrude found Albus, obviously, and they came down stairs together. They were discussing something or other to do with the school, I gathered that much, when Albus caught sight of me." Here, Minerva closed her eyes again, and swallowed. Poppy recognised this Minerva McGonagall. This was the Wrathful Minerva whom everyone in Gryffindor had learned to avoid provoking – or learned simply to avoid once provoked. She'd gotten much better at controlling her temper over the years, and Poppy doubted she'd be hexed if she said the wrong thing, but she stayed quiet and allowed Minerva to gather herself, nonetheless.
