Chapter 1
Spoilers galore: Trigun Vol 1
It was when he felt the water seep through the cloth on his sleeve that Vash realized his mistake. When he had first crouched in the barrel and it had been empty. He'd checked. But now that he watched the slow trickle of water drip down the inflow pipe, he realized that there was no way out of this predicament but to reveal that he was there. He shifted his arm away from the inflow and tried to squeeze his elbow dry. There were too many people around the outside of the barrel, and she was right there too. That very annoying short woman.
From his, now damp, vantage point he could see all the trees the geoplant allowed to grow, feeling a delight in his heart for how much hard work the old couple had done in cultivating it all. He had wanted to help defend the place, but that short little woman had told him very firmly that he was not needed. It had hurt. However, there was something in her eye as she had said it, that had made him climb into the barrel, rather than walk back to the hotel. A hidden defiance, as if it was not that he was not needed, but that she hated the idea of ever needing his assistance. Well that rubbed him up the wrong way in every manner he knew. He would not confront her, he recognized there was enough pain inside not to want to go there, but he would help her. He sat and waited in the damp barrel, the time would come.
The first time he had ever seen the short woman was when she relayed the most wonderful news. The Feds had revoked the $$60 billion bounty. He had thought her the most beautiful person on the planet! She was so cute and little and had handed him his freedom. The relief that had run through him! The thrill he had felt. He had been too excited to contain himself and had bounded around ecstatically, until she, that beautiful woman, had poked him in the chest. The expression on her face should have been enough of a warning.
She had then pronounced the sentence that derailed his life.
He sourly considered this as he felt the coolness of the water in the bottom of the barrel through his boots. His feet would stay dry the boots were good. Yow, but the water must be icy for him to feel such coldness through the layers of leather, metal and socks.
That short woman had declared that she had to follow him. To escort him like a child. As if he could not look after himself. He had never been so insulted. Did they not realize that the only reason disaster followed him was because of the bounty they had removed? Well there were a few other incidents, which could be overlooked, but mostly it had been that. He had only agreed because she and that willowy partner of hers had taken out the bad guy in short order. He had thought it prudent as well as polite not to aggravate the ladies who could dispatch their foe with such violent elegance.
Now, that beautiful little woman had become the bane of his life! What was he to do with her prying into his every move? He had not been able to eat lunch without her presence. Those had been some excellent salmon sandwiches. She had called him soft hearted, which he did not entirely resent, but coming from her made him want to suddenly show her his mastery and manliness. But just then he'd discovered a tiny tacking device in his sandwich. The bloody cheek of it all! They really didn't trust him. Well, payback was sweet; he had dropped the portion for the cat to eat. He had been munching a bite when she had dropped the even bigger bombshell that they were to track him for all their time in office. The delicious salmon sandwich had suddenly tasted like ashes in his mouth. He had felt sludgy dread fill his stomach. She looked, what, nineteen, and an office girl with a quick draw like she had could last another forty years, if she was careful. No, that was not happening. Fortunately, the arrival of the Sand Steamer had given him the distraction he needed. He slunk out of the diner then had legged it back to his lodgings.
Now that he reflected on it, all the bad luck the bounty had brought him had merely dissipated into smaller incidents of unhappy encounters. The insurance girls were the first. Then just as he had bought a ticket on the Sand Steamer, one of the children he had spent playing with had yelled his name for everyone in the street to hear, including the Caravan Director, the guys wanting to party, and the two very annoying insurance girls. He had enjoyed the party, though there had been some charming young buck who had spent the evening keeping the girls entertained. It had not bothered him at the time, but now he wondered what the short girl had spent the evening smiling at him for.
Oh man, the barrel must have some sort of timer switch, as it was slowly filling. He could smell the scent of fresh water. It was icy. His toes were beginning to go numb as the water lapped over them. He had thought he would have ditched them on the Sand Steamer, but ran into them with unfortunate precision when he had had to buy extra snacks. He considered the tall one for a moment, she was dilly, but had an uncanny ability to get right to the truth of things without being aware of it. He would really have to watch himself around her. He wondered how the small woman managed to keep her composure around her tall partner; she seemed to have troubles of her own, and clearly did not appreciate them being called out into the open. She would not have been so dismissive tonight if it were any other way. Perhaps he should keep an eye on the tall one; she might be the key to the short one.
She had impressed the hell out of him, holding Brilliant Dynamites Neon to gunpoint. Her timing was impeccable and her directness in lecturing the gang leader was excellent. He had almost gone back to thinking her beautiful. However, she had turned directly to him and lectured him as if he were a wayward child. Her manner simply riled all his admiration for her right out of him. He did not know what he had been thinking letting them accompany him to Little Arcadia. He'd wanted to find a peaceful place, out of the way, where nothing would happen to him. Oh. Yes. He knew why he had let them come now.
He took a deep breath. The water smelled so fresh. His ankles were getting colder and colder as the level in the barrel rose. Yes. He had, in a moment of weakness, let them accompany him. He had spent the entire day thinking of Rem. It was not that often that he actually dreamed about her, though she was constantly in his thoughts. That had been the most heart breaking thing about it all, he had for a few seconds of unconscious delusion, thought himself back home with her. Ah no. It was making him cry now too. He wiped his eyes. He had craved company then, and the insurance girls, as annoying as they were, were company.
Then the incident in the street had happened right in the peaceful town. He had only inadvertently been protecting people, and the short delicate little woman had charged out behind him and punched him in the back. From the bruises he felt now he realized the big girl must also have lent her power as there were two spots on his back that ached. They ached worse for being in a slowly chilling barrel of water. He had bloodied his nose too, though that had cleared, but his mounting aggravation had not. The other reason he had allowed the girls to accompany him was that he owed them. Their intervention on the sand steamer had allowed him to divert the gang to his way of playing. Yet what he had to put up with while working out a solution to it all! The old couple he had protected had treated them to a morning snack, and had clearly found the girls charming. He had been too irritated to pay much attention to what they were saying, though he had caught the tall one creating some interesting malapropisms. He would have to listen more closely in the future, as that sort of malady could be quite amusing.
Then the short girl had exploded while the old couple were complimenting him, and asking him to be their bodyguard. She had volunteered herself and her partner for the very job they had turned down seconds before. He had been rather stunned. Was she so eager to keep him out of trouble? It was strangely cute and very annoying at the same time. Who was she that she thought she could wrap him in cotton wool and keep the world safe from him, or was it him safe from the world? He pondered which it was as he heard raised voices outside the barrel. He peeked out, the big girl was yelling at the young man who had started all the trouble that morning. He had missed the first part, but he had clearly said something bad as she socked him.
Things quieted down after everyone had gone inside. Then there was an explosion and gunfire, as the rest of the young man's gang had arrived. He let the barrel lid fall shut and had tried to track the rounds coming from each of the guns used, but he peeked out again when he heard the two girls near him.
As he was watching, he saw the small girl flare out her cape. It had concealed rows of derringers. No wonder she was so confident with such a small gun. He watched as her taller partner grabbed her and tried to remind her that it was better to stay alive than to be the first to return fire. To his astonishment, instead of flinging her partner off, she had cried a whole confession out into her partners arms. She was hiding some pain, he had been right. But that she used her work to help her avoid whatever the situation was, was a new revelation. It was also a devastating one for him. He was her latest assignment, and with such a drive and tenacity how was he ever going to ditch them? His feet were going numb in the barrel. Oh, he wished this whole thing could end soon.
Things quieted for a moment, a stand off while the finer points of the deal were negotiated, as to who would get the land. Then the bullying land lord made the wrong remark, something that riled him. That there would be no witnesses. He raised his revolver, but then she stepped forward. A moment ago she had been crying, but there she stood, lecturing the land lord. When those lectures were not directed at him, they were actually quite good. An explosion made them all jump and the young man who had caused all the raucous in the first place sped out on his motorbike, snatched the debated land deed and sped off. The gang that had backed him then realized their betrayal. One tossed a human cannonball at him. He watched the short girl go for the shot, and raised his gun and fired as she did. The cannonball fell short of the bike, and the young man sped into the darkness. He watched the short girls confusion with some amusement. There that was payback for the help on sand steamer.
Ah no, the water was still rising in his barrel. He had to get out of here soon! Then it was too late. There must be some rotten twist of fate to this, for him to be sitting in a barrel defending the most aggravating women in the world, while he had a wet arse.
