Pepper was happy. The entire team, for once, was eating breakfast together. Bruce usually ate in his room, surrounded by piles of papers and graphs. Steve was usually good about showing up to breakfast, but he usually sat in a little nook, looking out the arching windows. Thor was in Asgard, and when did visit Earth, he usually spent as much time as he could between battling Steve at Tetris or with 'Lady Jane.' Tony had a philosophy: Never conform to the patters of the world. Therefore, he ate breakfast at 8 at night, lunch at 2 in the morning, and dinner somewhere in between. It was probably because he had projects, and it didn't help that he programmed JARVIS to adjust the clock so it ran slower, so he'd have an excuse to be late for things. Natasha and Clint might occasionally meander in once in a blue moon, but those were rare. But today, today was different. They would actually sit down like a...family?
The two assassins pushed through the glass doors into the industrial kitchen/common area, otherwise known as the Pit. Pepper was flipping pancakes, while Tony was sitting at the countertop, downing what looked like his third cup of coffee. Bruce was hunched in a corner, blueprints and draft paper surrounding him, a look of frustration drawn across his face. Steve and Thor were arm wrestling, although it was unclear who was winning.
"Well, well. If it isn't my two favourite assassins, , looking as lovely as ever, and , don't you look spiffy, this fine morning!"
Natasha muttered under her breath, "Hold me back. Hold me back."
"Alright, Tony. Put the coffee down. Guys, grab a plate and get whatever you want."
Clint chuckled slightly as Pepper slid one last steaming hot pancake off the pan onto the stack as the Avengers scrambled to the hot food. One day, Tony would push Natasha's buttons to the point where even Clint himself wouldn't be able to calm Natasha down.
Natasha headed to the JARVIS run coffee machine, and began dabbing at the touch screen, filling two cups. Clint grabbed two plates and began dishing up a mountain of food onto both. Bruce glanced up from his notes and caught sight of Tony, grinning like a mad man. Following his line of sight, he watched the assassins. Clint had doused his pancakes in syrup, and was now leaning across to Natasha's plate and looked like he was drowning her pancakes. She was carrying her and Clint's drink, her's was black coffee, his was hot chocolate. Clint didn't drink coffee unless he was trying to pull an all nighter, claiming it put him on a caffein buzz, which ruined his senses after it wore off. The two scientists watched, one more amused than the other, as the partners started to eat. The other Avengers, noticing nothing, continued on with breakfast. Bruce winged silent prayer that Tony would keep his mouth shut, and allow them this one peaceful breakfast.
But he forget. This was Tony Stark they were talking about.
It didn't take too long for the spies to catch Tony's huge grin. Clint looked uneasily at Natasha as he slowly put down his cup.
"Um, Tony? Are you okay?"
Tony's grinned seemed to widen, the rest of the team now paying attention. Natasha inwardly groaned as her fingers unconsciously played over her fork.
"Tell me, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. How long have the two of you been spies?"
Clint sighed as he stood up, picking up his and Natasha's plates and cups.
"Not again, Tony."
He said this as he slid his plate into the dishwasher and headed to refill the cups. She nodded a silent word of thanks as he slid the steaming cup in front of her.
"No, seriously! I am genuinely curious about this. I mean, we ARE a team now, and I feel as if this lack of conversation will being to put a strain on our relationship, and eventually, we will all break up and go our separate ways. And we don't want that, now do we?"
Clint and Natasha both has looks on their faces saying, "Oh yes, we do."
Tony continued on.
"Or at least that's what Pepper's book says. 'Two is Better than One: Ideal Advice for the Ideal Couple', which, by the way, I have read more than ones!"
This last part was directed to Pepper, who was starting to wipe down the counters.
Deciding that this was too much, Natasha gulped down the last of her coffee, ignoring the slight burn in her throat. She headed for the door.
"Good thing you and Clint aren't in a relationship then."
Tony opened his mouth, but Clint cut him off he followed his partner out.
"And you'd better praise the Lord that you're not in a relationship with Natasha."
In the hallway, both assassins remained silent, although Clint hurried his steps, until he fell in rhyme next to her. A light flickered over head as their waited for the lift to take them down to the car park, where an unmarked car would take them to the S.H.I.E.L.D head quarters. It was deemed to unsafe to hold briefings for missions at Stark Tower, not necessarily because it was easier for enemies to infiltrate, but because of the building's namesake. After having Tony effortlessly tap into the S.H.I.E.L.D's data base and discovering the plans for weaponry, Fury was taking no chances of having him get into mission files as well.
Once they pulled out of the parking lot, Natasha let out the sigh she'd been holding in the whole time. Clint looked curiously over at her.
"Stark."
Clint nodded, an unsaid agreement that they had missed a close bullet.
"Stark."
Tony's eyes lit up when Natasha's voice came through the overhead speakers in the dining room area. Steve and Thor looked up from the game of blackjack Steve was trying to teach the Asgardian warrior. A look of dread crossed Bruce's face as he put his pencil down. All eyes were on Tony's mischievous grin, identical looks of confusion and worry on their faces.
"That bad huh?"
Clint's voice now joined in.
"You have no idea."
"Can't be that bad, all he did was ask one question."
"Uh...Stark, what is this?"
Tony shushed Captain America with a wave of his hand.
'JARVIS, bring in the screen.'
The area above the table flickered, as a screen created by pixels in midair formed. Before long, the team could clearly see that it was Clint and Natasha in the car, on their way to S.H.I.E.L.D. When a long silence ensued, Tony turned to face the men of the Avengers, minus Clint.
"I hooked up a listening device into their car. And a camera. Really, you'd think Fury would at least change cars for their transportation, you know, in case someone decided to listen in on their conversations."
"Or put them on your screen thingy."
Thor sounded in his booming voice as he refilled his cup with coffee. Steve chimed in.
"And what if they were discussing mission information? In the army, they would debrief us in the transportation truck if there was no time to get back to base."
Tony looked at them with an 'I-am-so-offended' look. He placed a hand over his 'heart.'
"I am actually offended that you guys would think so low of me! Did you really think that I would hook this up just to find out what Fury's telling them?"
The men looked at each other, back at Tony, and nodded.
"Well, I'll...SHH!"
Natasha's voice again.
"Remember that time I was compromised?"
A pause.
"Yes."
Clint turned to look at Natasha, but her eyes wouldn't meet his. She kept them on the high way road as she drove. Knowing her, she was probably replaying Loki's interrogation. Even he, Clint, could see what she meant when she said compromised. The night after the battle, when she was asleep, thanks to the help of a sedative, he had sneaked into the files and accessed the video of Loki and Natasha. Afterwards, Clint went down to the workout room, where he shot arrow after arrow, ran mile after mile, destroyed punching bag after punching bag, and still he could not shake out the feeling of anger at Loki. More importantly, he couldn't get rid of the disappointment and anger he had for himself.
The men had their eyes all trained on the screen, Tony's hand gripping the edge of the counter, an eager smile playing on his lips. Although they knew it was wrong, they couldn't help but be somewhat glad that for the first time, they would be able to understand what made their female counterpart such an unapproachable person. They found themselves leaning in as well.
"Well... the whole time Loki was speaking, I only have one thought running through me head."
A pause.
"What?"
Clint felt his chest constrict, as if all the air in the car ad been sucked out.
"What?"
Stark's eyes were nearly popping out of his head. The pencil Bruce had begun toying with snapped in his hands. Even Steve was showing some signs of tension, as he too awaited to long desired 'secret' of the Black Widow. Thor went into the kitchen to see if JARVIS could make him more of those 'flat dough that tastes good with the sweet syrup.'
But Natasha kept driving, without a word, until she reached a stoplight. He was about to ask again, when she opened her mouth."
"Only one. And it was...Tony Stark, I am going to open a can of whoop ass on you if you don't stop planting microphones in my car. I am not even kidding. You'd better hide behind Pepper when I get back, and even then."
Then she reached into the glove compartment and yanked out a small microchip. Embedded in it was a microphone, which was sending signals back to whatever machine Start had hooked up. Clint's eyebrows went up slightly, but he too reached up behind the rearview mirror and pulled out a small lens, a hidden camera. Natasha smirked at her partner as she pressed the accelerator, gunning the car forward.
Tony nearly collapsed in frustration when a fuzzy record sound filled the room, and the screen started to flicker until it too died out. He stormed out of the kitchen like a little boy being sent to his room, stomping and flailing. The rest of the men could hear his sounds of frustration as he headed down the hall.
Thor pipped up.
"Would any of you like some of this flat dough?"
Bruce took his glasses off and rubbed his forehead.
"Thor, don't you mean pancakes?"
