Saying she was exhausted was an epic understatement. Minerva had merely dozed off for a few hours, unable to find that restorative sleep Poppy was hoping she'd get. Besides, as the Headmistress of Hogwarts, she had work to do. Sighing at the view of the letters she still had to answer, she leant back in her chair, closing her eyes for a minute. She had not returned to Grimmauld Place last night, not wanting to crush the optimism of Hermione's friends. The Scottish witch knew Harry and Ron felt terribly guilty and hopeless. The trio had been attacked while looking for an item – what exactly, they wouldn't say, and the two boys had escaped only because of the young woman's ingenuity. Apparently, she had somehow managed to throw a portkey at them, while delaying their attackers. One of the Death Eaters had stunned her while she was running towards her friends, the countdown of the portkey already engaged, and the two boys could just witness her body fall on the floor, while they were already taken away in a whirlwind.
"Minerva?"
The soft voice of her friend let a weak smile cross her features. She stood up and went to the tray the house elves had brought up and poured herself a cup of tea.
"I'm fine, Albus." She turned around to face him, exhaustion upon her face. "Oh don't give me that look!" She said exasperated, taking a sip of her tea.
The portrait raised his eyebrows sceptically and seeing his friend wasn't about to add anything, whispered softly:
"My dear, after all this time, I thought you'd know you don't have to hide from me." He gave her a small reassuring smile. "Come on! I may be a rambling old fool, but I still happen to know you Minerva. And by the dark rings under your eyes and the paleness of your skin, I venture to tell you're anything but fine."
"Well, you certainly know how to shower a lady with compliments, Albus." she answered with a dry tone.
She took another sip, her eyes lost in the vague. There was a strange comfort to be surrounded by silence. Except for the distant chirping and the ticking of the old clock next to the window, there was no noise. Well, that was without including Dumbledore's sudden cough, as he chocked on a lemon-drop. Minerva rolled her eyes as he was mumbling an apology between two fits of coughing. With a sigh she finished her cup and with a vague wand movement, the tray vanished.
"Dear.." The concerned plea made her shiver. "Please, talk to me."
"And what do you want me to say, Albus?" Her voice was thick with emotions she vainly tried to contain. "That I'm scared to go see her? That the thought of what they might have done to her makes me sick to the point that I'm nauseous?" She closed her burning eyes, not able to look him in the face. "Albus, I'm the one who agreed that they.."
She was abruptly cut.
"Minerva, you are not responsible for what happened." His voice was suddenly determined, almost hard, even though he tried to remain soft. "I know you feel as guilty as the boys, but you are not. She's alive Minerva, alive. That's all that should matter right now. So don't be too harsh on yourself dear, I know you were the most dedicated one those last weeks, when it came to search for her and plan rescue missions. I saw you, up all night, barely eating during the day, I.." He stopped, taking a deep breath, before carrying on in a whisper: "Minerva look at me." She did and he felt his heart drop when he saw her eyes. He hadn't seen her in such a distress since.. "Go to her." he managed to say. "You know better than anyone she'll need someone to stay next to her when she wakes up."
She nodded, her lips pinched as she composed herself before heading to the entrance and leaving the office in silence.
"And somehow, I think you need her as well." he murmured for himself, as green robes disappeared.
The door of the hospital wing had never looked so impressive. Minerva had stopped, her hand on the doorknob, not daring to push it. God knows how many times she had been summoned by Poppy, because a cub of her house had ended up here. Between the Quidditch games and the Weasley, she had witnessed an incalculable number of injured students. Now it would be the exact same thing, except..
"For Merlin's sake Minerva! Pull yourself together!" she hissed at herself before pushing the damn door.
Hermione's bed was in the back of the infirmary, hidden behind curtains. However, she could still distinguish the young woman's figure with the lighting effect. Poppy put the balm she had in hands down, before coming up to the Scottish witch.
"I take it you didn't follow my advice regarding sleeping last night?" she said with a faint smile.
"I did try, Poppy." she answered softly. "How.. is she?"
The nurse opened her mouth, no words coming out. She was aware Minerva hadn't been sleeping for some time now, worried to death, and could see that she still was, even though the young Gryffindor was now safe. She took a deep breath.
"She's.."
What could she possibly say? Never had she received such a damaged case. This was simply beyond imagination, she thought. How was she even alive? And conscious on top of it!
"She's stable."
The Headmistress was about to retort that this was not an answer, but Poppy was quicker:
"Please Minerva, let me finish." she muttered, exhausted herself. "She had several ribs broken, as well as her right leg. Apparently, the ankle must have broke first and with the twist of the leg, the fracture propagated in spiral along the shin and ended up.. well, for a lack of better word: blowing up the knee."
The older witch rubbed her eyes, feeling a pulse of anger rising.
"Go on" she said, trying to remain calm.
"I was able to repair the ribs, but the leg will take more time."
"But she'll be able to walk?"
"Yes, she will. She may limp a bit at the beginning, but nothing to serious hopefully. The broken ribs caused internal bleeding. I was able to stop it, but she'd be better in a hospital; we don't have their equipment nor.."
"I can't risk that, Poppy. It's not safe anymore outside. There was an attack last week; what if they were to return? She wouldn't survive it this time.." she said with a sigh. "Besides, you're the most skilled healer I know: she's in good hands." she added with a smile, earning one as well.
"Never mind, she's stable now this shouldn't be a problem. Her skin is still ecchymosed in places, but this should go given a couple of days, though.."
"What is it?" The nurse bit her lips, knowing Minerva would be furious at the lowest estimate. "Poppy, tell me." she breathed, her heart racing almost painfully against her chest.
"She was tortured, Minerva."
Everything went quiet. The world seemed to have been muted. It felt like water. Water everywhere, absorbing even the slightest sound. Poppy's lips were moving in slow motion. Minerva was staring at her, eyes wide open. She was drowning. She could feel it: the lack of air, being short of breath and the cold, ripping her apart. She was sagging at the knees, and had to lean on the closest bed in order not to fall. Her legs, her fingers, everything felt so numb suddenly.
".. right? Minerva, are you alright?"
She emerged. She didn't know how, but she did. Still overcome by emotion, she articulated slowly, forcing the words to cross her lips:
"What.. did they..?"
"I don't know, you.. I guess you'll have to ask her. Her back was.. is.." she swallowed hard. "She will have scars, some.. some severe scars. Even with the balm, I can't.."
Scars. The word sliced her heart, it seemed to echo. She painfully closed her eyes, her joints turning white as she gripped the edge of the bed a little tighter. Her student. Her star student. Hermione..
"She.." Her voice was hoarse and quavered when she broke the silence. She took a deep breath and stood up straight, regaining control. She was professor McGonagall, after all, and the Headmistress: she couldn't afford to break down. "She'll get through it. It will take time but.." She forced a smile. "if I managed back in my day, she will too."
The nurse nodded, hoping she was right. She started to walk towards Hermione's bed, Minerva following her.
"I still need to apply some balm on her back." she quietly explained, taking the small jar.
"Oh. Well I can come back later if.."
"No actually Minerva I think it would be better if you stayed." She replied softly. "It will be painful. Having someone to hold your hand helps."
"Yes, of course."
"Now miss Granger," she said, walking around the bed. "I have to apply some balm on your back to disinfect and heal your wounds."
The girl was lying on her side, unresponsive. Her nightdress was slightly opened in the back, to allow medical attention. Her hands were trembling, even though she tried to steady them by squeezing the sheets. The skin was bruised and partially covered by reddish bandages that looked soaked already.
"It will hurt, so.."
She closed her eyes. Every fibre of her body was on fire, every muscle was sore, of course it would hurt. It hadn't stopped to hurt since..
"Professor McGonagall came to visit you and I asked her to hold your hand."
There was a small change in her posture; somehow, she seemed to be tenser. She forced herself to keep her breathing slow, while her brain was processing the information. McGonagall. Here. To visit her. To hold her hand. Ok now, don't.. No don't start hyperventilate. Remember: inhale, exhale, inhale..
She didn't respond anything, not really knowing what to say. Not sure she could still talk without her voice breaking. They had silenced her. It went so far that the slightest word she uttered would cause her to retch in anticipation of either the shouts or the kicks she'd get as an answer for the last weeks. She felt empty, weak. At the beginning she had tried to resist, to find a way to escape; she was the brain of the trio after all, wasn't she? But soon she'd given up. She just waited for it to end, in one way or another. And now that it was over, she started to realize that it was just the beginning to another fight: the recovery. And honestly, she wasn't sure she was able to face it.
Her body was a trap, a prison. It had felt so useless, so powerless! It was weak, she thought. If it had been capable to withstand a little longer, maybe she wouldn't feel so screwed up right now. She was lucid: nightmares and insomnia were not a sign of mental health. She couldn't think clearly anymore, like it was foggy all the time. She had flashbacks to everything that happened. Even Luna is saner than me, she concluded, giving a mental forced laugh.
Long and elegant hands took hers with such thoughtfulness it almost felt like a caress. She couldn't help but shiver, partly because any physical contact had turned into something scary, partly because..
"I'm sorry, it'll be over at once." the nurse murmured hurriedly, speeding up.
Hermione gave a gasp of pain when the balm touched her skin. Her hand tightened as the buried her face in the pillow, not daring to look at her mentor. She was scared, terrified in fact, of what she may see in her eyes: would there be deception? pity? or maybe just nothing, as she was a student among others, nothing more. Though I wish I was, she mentally sighed.
At the view of the young Gryffindor curling up from pain, Minerva froze. She knew there was nothing to be said. She had been in place of her star student, decades ago. Saying that "it's okay" was useless. Because it wasn't. The pain wasn't okay and all the sweet words she could find wouldn't take it away. She could just be there, gently stroking her hand, and bring a reassuring presence. Silence was enough sometimes.
She had seen her share of injured friends, between the war against Grindelwald and Voldemort, but nothing had really prepared her to this. The deep wounds, the multiple bruises, the black eye, the death rattle that escaped contused lips.. But how could she ever have thought that the hardest part to endure, would be to witness her protégée kept looking away from her?
A.N: Thanks for the reviews! To answer a question I got about the first chapter, when Poppy says "she's not seeable", it was meant to say it was not pretty, that Hermione was too injured to been seen. (As English is not my mother tongue, I apologize in advance if I translate expressions a bit to literally and it doesn't make sense! ^^')
